by Katie Dowe
Kenzie slipped out of bed before wiggling her way back into her clothes. First there was a shower in order, then she had to try and finish her music. Her feet padded across the floor as she left the room. Brick and Gianni were talking near the door, but stopped when she came into view. She paused for a moment before shrugging and heading into the bathroom. If Gianni wanted to pretend that nothing had happened between them, she was more than happy to play along. It wasn’t that important anyway.
The warm spray of the shower relaxed Kenzie somewhat, but she still found herself tense after she’d stepped out. She decided to go to town, get a little fresh air. When she walked into the kitchen, Brick sat with a magazine in his hands at the table.
“Looking for Gianni?”
“No, why would I be? I need to go to the city.”
Brick gave her an appraising look. She raised an eyebrow before rolling her eyes. Finally, he seemed to let go of whatever he wanted to ask. His chair scraped against the floor as he pushed his chair out. Since they were so far out now, the bodyguards had to do the driving. Kenzie wished she could drive herself again. She missed slipping behind the wheel, enjoying the breeze as she tore down the highway at top speed.
She looked through the window as they drove trying to keep the smile from her face. In her mind, she tried to tell herself that it was just sex, nothing more. Still, she couldn’t seem to stop the fluttering in her stomach. Kenzie pushed the thought away, tried to shut it off. It was just one time. She wasn’t some high school girl in love. It was nothing more than a physical attraction. It was a damn good one, but that was all.
The heavy rush hour traffic made it laborious to get back to the city. They pushed their way through until they made it to the studio. Kenzie gazed down at her phone. It was only six, still early. The bars had reappeared on her phone sometime during their drive, but she hadn’t noticed. She pocketed the phone in her jeans before sliding out of the car with her notebook in hand. The rush of the cool air inside the building made her shiver as she took the elevator up. She had gotten so used to Gianni standing beside her when she came and went to the studio that it was odd to have Brick there now. Gianni was a chatterbox compared to Brick who generally answered questions in a series of grunts and nods.
“Kenzie! I wanted to talk to you.” Marco called.
She stopped short before she followed behind him into his office. Brick stood out in the hallway. Marco gestured to one of the chairs on the other side of his desk and she took a seat. He slipped into his chair, a serious look on his face. She could feel the bad news brewing before he’d even said a word.
“I have some good news and some bad news,” he said as he laced his fingers together.
“Okay,” she said slowly. “What’s going on?”
“The good news is, pre-sales for your new album are through the roof. People can’t wait to hear your music. The bad news is, the date of your concert has been pushed up. The company doesn’t want to lose money by waiting. There’s a lot of Kenzie frenzy out there right now. It could mean really big sales.”
“Marco, I’m not ready. You know that.”
The man sighed, leaning forward to rest his chin on his steepled fingers. “It’s not a choice. This is what they want, this is what you have to give them.”
Kenzie scoffed. “Really? And what do they think about me getting out there and choking? Then what? I get blamed for a bad show too?”
“You won’t choke. You love the limelight!”
Kenzie pushed herself out of her chair. “Whatever. How soon?”
“A month. Tickets went on sale today.”
“Thanks for telling me sooner.”
“Kenzie, you know I-”
She held up a hand as she stormed out of his office.
The nerve of them. How dare they force her to go on performing so soon? She wasn’t ready, she knew that. Writing music was one thing, performing it was quiet another. Not to mention that a month was really no time at all to get ready. She knew that she’d have to really push herself. Everyday would be endless rehearsals. It was a good thing she was almost finished with the songs, but she still had to remember them.
She could hear heavy footsteps following after her. A glance over her shoulder revealed Marco following after her quickly. He was trying to assure her that she’d only have to perform two or three new songs, the rest were from her last album. It didn’t matter to her, she kept walking. The studio was empty.
“Come on, I’m trying my hardest to keep you on top here,” Marco argued.
She sighed. “Look, I know that. I just know that I’m not ready. I’m going to choke. I don’t want to screw up my whole career because some idiot has decided I’ll make them more money this way.”
“I won’t let you choke, we’re in this together.”
Kenzie glanced at him. “Okay.”
She stepped into the booth before settling in. Her notebook was flipped open to find the song she was about to record, but her mind was a million miles away. She couldn’t stop thinking about the looming date of the concert, her stomach twisting in worry. There was no way she’d be ready that soon. It felt like she was drowning. If she didn’t love singing so much, she knew she would have quit at that moment. She couldn’t end her career though, it was everything to her. Besides, doing so would look like fear to the masses. She wasn’t going to appear to be afraid of anyone or anything.
Usually, she would have stayed at the studio for a couple of hours, but she knew she had to power through it. Kenzie shut her phone off before they started. It wasn’t until after ten that they finished. Both she and Marco was exhausted. He had discarded his suit jacket some time ago, his tie lying on the couch. Kenzie herself had just polished off her third cup of coffee and was already on the next one. Marco finally shooed her off.
“We can’t keep going like this. We only have two left. Come back tomorrow.”
She nodded, giving him a wave as she dashed out of the studio. Brick sat in a chair, the magazine lying open on his stomach. She pulled her phone from her pocket, snapped a picture before she shook him awake gently. He still jumped up on attack mode making her shift away from him quickly.
“Don’t scare me like that.”
“Sorry,” Kenzie said stifling a chuckle. “Come on, let’s get the hell out of here. I’ll buy you a burger.”
“And a beer?”
“Sure. Let’s go.”
They left the building before heading towards a pub not far from the studio. Kenzie snagged a hat from a nearby stand, twisted her hair underneath it before they went inside. The pub was full so they found a spot at the bar to get some food and a few drinks before they’d have to head back to the little house in the middle of nowhere. Kenzie ordered a burger, fries and a tall screw driver.
“A screwdriver with dinner? What’s wrong with you?”
“Hey, it’s got orange juice, so it’s a fruit. It’s healthy...ish. Shut up.”
Brick burst into laughter making her crack a grin. The more she got to know the men watching over her, the more she came to like them. They weren’t just faceless cogs, they were people. Some of them were more quiet, more uptight, but they had all started to interest her.
The TV’s above the bar were showing a baseball game that she could at least take mild interest in. When their food came, she ate hungrily as Brick watched her with wide eyes. She didn’t care, she was starving. There hadn’t been a bite of food in her stomach all day. As she ate, she glanced around the crowded room. There were people everywhere laughing, drinking and enjoying each other’s company. Her eyes fell to a booth in the corner making her almost choke on her food.
Brick raised an eyebrow at her. She waved her hand at him as she hit herself in the chest with the side of her fist. When she could breathe again and Brick wasn’t staring at her, she peeked at the corner once more. It was hard to tell in the darkness that resided over that corner, but she thought it was Gianni. She squinted her eyes.
It was definitely him. He was scratching the back of his head, something he usually did when he was slightly uncomfortable or thinking. He was dressed in a black t-shirt that showed off his muscles, jeans and an expensive watch was on his wrist. Across from him sat a leggy blonde. The woman looked close to his age and she wore a dress that stopped mid thigh, the red color looked impressive on her deeply tanned skin.
Kenzie felt a stab in her gut. She held her stomach trying to figure out what was wrong with her. It couldn’t be...no, it wasn’t. She panicked. Was she jealous? The blonde laughed at that moment throwing her head back, covering her mouth. Gianni had obviously said something very funny. He grinned. Kenzie’s eyes narrowed. She kept trying to tell herself that it didn’t matter.
Before she knew what she was doing, she’d pushed her chair out. She had lost her appetite. Kenzie paid the bill before telling Brick that she was ready to go. He gestured to his half full plate. She rolled her eyes, told him she’d have a smoke outside instead. He looked uneasy about the notion, but she promised that she’d stay right outside the window where he could keep an eye on her. She took one of the slender cigarettes from his pack before stepping outside into the warm night air. She never smoked, made it a point not to, just to preserve her voice, but it was the only thing at that moment that calmed her nerves.
Chapter 6
The smoke hit her lungs, immediately making her cough. As much as she’d thought that smoking would help her relax, it only made her more anxious. She wondered what Gianni was doing with that woman, but she also told herself that it was none of her business. Still, her mind kept wandering back to it until she felt herself being driven crazy. She shook her head. The cigarette had grown into a long line of ash. She tossed it onto the sidewalk before stepped on it. It was easy, she’d just pretend nothing had happened. They’d never slept together, she didn’t care. She pushed her way back into the pub.
The noise was too much for her head to take. She was ready to go back to the house, get some sleep and put the day behind her. Brick was finishing his beer as she walked back in. He nodded at her. She threw one last glance at Gianni, but she hadn't expected him to be looking back. He froze, his eyes locked onto hers. Kenzie lifted her head, turned on her heels and headed for the car, her heart pounding in her chest.
She didn’t know what to make of the look that had been on his face. Was it shock? Guilt? What? The thought brought her no comfort. Brick walked out a minute later, before he slid behind the wheel of the car. She slipped into the backseat and shut the door as she saw Gianni wander out of the pub. Brick was fumbling with his seatbelt.
“Can we go already?”
Gianni had spotted the car. He was making his way towards them, waving. Kenzie scowled. She didn’t want to talk to him at that moment. Brick had already started the car. They pulled out just as Gianni almost reached her door. She was glad that Brick hadn't noticed him. She looked at Gianni. He had thrown his arms out, the look on his face confused. She turned around in her seat.
On the way back to the house, she slipped in her headphones and blared the tracks she had to work on. She used her phone to jot down lyrics that came to her mind. There was one in particular that grabbed her. The drums, guitar were all so heavy, angry. She finished most of that song before they reached the house. For a moment, she considered naming that one Gianni, but then decided it’d be nice not to be sued.
Only one light was on in the house, a car parked in the drive. She knew that they’d be switching off soon. Brick would go home and someone else would spend the night watching over her. The thought itself was kind of comforting, except for the nagging feeling that she wished it was Gianni’s turn tonight. She mentally scolded herself for it as she went into her room. The first thing she did was strip the bed of the sheets and blankets. She tossed them into the laundry basket before redressing the bed in her linens. It made the space a little more tolerable.
Kenzie climbed into bed and turned the lights out. It was darker than in the city. She was used to the constant glow of lights, the sound of traffic if she opened her windows. Out here, it was too quiet for her liking. She tossed and turned for the rest of the night. It felt like the world was pressing in on her, suffocating her. Her hands fumbled for her pills in the dark. She swallowed two of them down then stared at the ceiling until they started to take effect. As the drowsiness washed over her, she could only think about Gianni.
The next morning she was up earlier than usual. She got dressed, throwing on a little yellow sun dress before she waited for someone to drive her into town. She grabbed breakfast at Uptown Cafe before she walked the distance back to the studio with one of her bodyguards nearby. It was another full day of recording, rerecording and the incessant thought that she should just give up. She wondered what she’d do if she quit singing. It was impossible to think about going back to a normal life when this was all she knew anymore.
“Jenny wanted to go over some things with the concert coming up. Think you have time to meet her today?” Marco asked her about noon.
She wanted to ask him if she really had a choice. Instead, she nodded, grabbed her things and headed down to see Jenny. The woman went over some of the outfit changes, the effects and the music that had been chosen for her to sing. It made Kenzie’s head swim. She found herself nodding the whole time, not exactly listening. Buzzing in her purse broke her haze as she saw Cassie calling.
“What’s up?” She asked when she picked up.
“Ben and I are at the cafe if you want to swing by. We haven’t heard from you since the party. We were getting worried.”
“I’m fine. A lot has come up though. I’ll meet you there in thirty minutes.”
“Take your time.”
They said goodbye before Kenzie told Jenny that she had somewhere to be. Practicing for the concert was coming up soon, she at least wanted to spend some time with her friends before she’d have to absorb herself in her work. She walked back to the cafe, the afternoon sun beating down on her. She had the distinct feeling that someone was following her. She turned her head to see a man with a camera across the street. Paparazzi, great. She knew they would only get worse as the days drew closer to the concert.
Ben waved at her as she approached, a smile on his lips. He was so enticing in his band t-shirt, ripped jeans and his blond hair falling into his face. She sat across from him next to Cassie. The woman looked gorgeous as usual with her hair piled on top of her head and her thin body enhanced by the dress she wore. There was a new bracelet on her arm that looked expensive.
They ordered their food and drinks before they could start talking. Kenzie was already feeling the jittery effects of the coffee she’d been drinking all morning. She kept bouncing her leg beneath the table until Cassie placed a hand on her thigh to stop her, giving her a dangerous look.
“What’s up with you? We went to visit, you were gone.” She said.
“It was kind of necessary. My own little special stalker left me a present. Gianni-”
She stopped herself. The name had slipped out of her mouth before she thought about it. The subject of Gianni was not one that she wanted to be discussing. The feelings she’d had the night before bubbled up to the surface. She pushed them away stubbornly.
“It’s just better to be where no one can get to me right now,” she said finishing her sentence.
Cassie raised an eyebrow. “So, we can’t even know where you are. That’s weird.”
Kenzie shrugged. “When this is all over, we’ll go right back to the way we used to be.” She took a sip from her soda. “Oh yeah, Ben. I talked to Marco. It looks like you guys can play the opening of my concert.”
“I told you I saw something about a concert!” He said to Cassie. “It’s in a month right?”
She nodded. “Think you guys will be ready.”
“We’ve been ready for a long time. You’re so awesome.”
Kenzie grinned at him. She heard Cassie make a noise, but when she gl
anced at her, she was looking away. They ate their lunch together where she told them about the concert and the album coming out so close together.
“I’m not sure I can handle so much.”
“You’ll do great,” Ben said as his hand reached across the table and he laid it on hers. “I have faith in you.”
“Thanks, Ben,” she said with a smile.
Cassie had to leave early, but she and Ben sat together for a while longer talking and laughing. It made Kenzie’s problems disappear for a while. When they’d paid for their food, they walked together.
“I wanted to ask you something,” Ben said as he rubbed his arm.
“Yeah?” She asked. She could see the nervousness on his face.
“Do you think you’d want to go on a date with me?” He said quickly.
Kenzie stopped. As she glanced at him, he gazed back. His eyes inviting and kind. For a brief moment she thought of Gianni before she shoved him to the back of her brain. There was nothing there. She was sure of that now.
“I’d love to.”
“Cool. Let’s meet at the cafe, let’s say Friday? Eight sound good?”
She nodded. “It sounds great.”
She loved the grin that spread across his face. “Wear something comfortable. We’ll have fun.”
They waved goodbye to each other as they parted ways. She decided not to return to the house that night. After doing some checking with her guard, she rented a hotel room. It was closer to the studio since she had to get up early and start practicing. The thought made her nervous. It was a little under four weeks away, she was panicking. She tried to sleep as best she could that night, but it wasn’t happening. Instead, she stayed up all night going over the lyrics, practicing her singing. She was pretty sure she heard the guard groan in protest around 3 am, but she didn’t care. She had to be perfect.