CHAPTER V
Did you ever think what a dear old thing anybody's black mammy is, mydiary, especially when she's done all the cooking (and raised you) fortwenty-five years? Mammy Lou has belonged to us just like father andmother ever since we've been at housekeeping, and my heart almostbreaks to-night when I think of the fire in our stove that won't burnand the dasher in our churn that is still. Ever since I've beenkeeping a diary I've been awfully glad to hear about anybody being inlove, and took great pleasure in watching them and writing it all out,for I could _always_ imagine it was _me_ that was the lady. But Iwould rather never keep a diary another day than to have such a thinghappen to Mammy Lou.
When mother heard about it she said not to be an old fool, but MammyLou said, "either Marse Shakespeare or Marse Solomon said a old foolwas the biggest fool and she wasn't going to make him out no lie. Somarry that Yankee nigger she was!"
Bill Williams first came here to teach school, being very proud andeducated. Then he got to be Dilsey's beau and they expected to marry.When he first commenced going to see Dilsey Mammy Lou would cook thenicest kind of things for her to take to picnics, hoping to help hercatch him in a motherly way. But when he started to promising to giveDilsey a rocking-chair and take her to "George Washington" if shewould marry him, Mammy Lou changed about. She had always wanted to seea large city _herself_, and she thought it wasn't any use of lettingDilsey get all the best things in life, even if she was her child.
Pretty soon she commenced wearing red ribbon around her neck andhaving her hair wrapped fresh once a week. Then she told him she wasthe good cook that cooked all the picnic things, and ironed all ofDilsey's clean dresses; also that she had seventy-five dollars savedup that she would be willing to spend on a grand bridal trip the nexttime she got married. Mammy Lou is a smart old thing, and so shetalked to him until he said, well, he would just as soon marry her asDilsey, if she would stop cooking for us, and cook for _him_ and iron_his_ shirts all the time. She promised him she would do this, likepeople always do when they're trying to marry a person, although itlooks very different afterward. None of mammy's other husbands hadbeen so proud. _They_ would not only let her cook, but would comearound every meal time, in the friendliest kind of way, and help herdraw a bucket of water. This is why the whole family's heart isbreaking and we feel so hungry to-night. She's quit, and the weddingis to-morrow.
This morning early she came up to the house to ask mother if it wouldbe excusable to take off her widow's bonnet, not being divorced fromUncle Mose but four months; also how she had better carry her money tokeep Bill from getting "a holt" of it. She said she wouldn't trust anywhite Yankee with a half a dollar that she ever saw, much less acoffee-colored one. Mother was so mad at her, and so troubled aboutthe sad biscuits and the watery gravy at breakfast that she said shehoped he would steal every cent of the seventy-five dollars before theceremony was over, and maybe _that_ would bring her to her senses.
"And me not to get to go to George Washington!" mammy said in ahurt-like voice. "Why, Mis' Mary!"
"Where is this George Washington?" mother took time to ask, thinkingmammy would know she was just poking fun at her, but she didn't.
"Law! Ain't it surprising how little my white folks do know! Why, it'sthe place where the president and his wife lives. Mr. Williams ismighty well acquainted with the president and says he's shore I couldgit a job cooking for the fambly if I was 'round lookin' for jobs. ButI ain't to cook for nobody but _him_ from now on."
Mother didn't encourage her to talk about her love and matrimony any,so she took me by the hand and we went out and sat down on the kitchendoorstep and had a long conversation. She seemed mighty sad at thenotion of leaving us, but was so delighted at the idea of marrying ayoung man (as anybody naturally _would be_) that she couldn't think ofgiving that up. Pretty soon in our conversation she commenced tellingme about the things that happened many years ago, when I was a littlechild, like they say folks do when they're going on a long journey ordie.
She began from the time I was born, and said I was such a brown littlething that I looked like I had tobacco-juice running through meinstead of blood. And I made use of a bottle until I was four yearsold. Because I was the only one of mother's and father's children thatlived and was born to them like Isaac (_I_ don't know of any specialway that Isaac was born, but two of mammy's husbands have beenpreachers, so _she_ knows what she's talking about) they let me keepthe bottle to humor me. It had a long rubber thing to it so I wouldfind it more convenient. Mammy said the old muley cow was just laidaside for my benefit, they thought so much of me, and when I got bigenough to walk I'd go with her into the cow-lot every hour in the dayand drag my bottle behind me to be milked into. I enjoyed being milkedinto my mouth, too, if my bottle was too dirty to hold it just then.
Mammy said I always admired the sunshine so much that I would sit outin it on hot days till my milk bottle would clabber, which was onecause of my brownness. When I found out I couldn't draw anything upthrough the rubber, being all clabbered, I'd begin to cry and run withmy bottle to mammy. And she would quiet me by digging out all theclabber with a little twig and feed it to the chickens. They got toknowing the sound of me and my bottle rattling over the gravels sowell that they'd all come a running like they do when they hear youscrape the plates.
This, of course, was very touching to us both and we nearly cried whenshe talked about going off to Washington where the people are toostylish to keep a muley cow. They won't even keep a baby in thefamilies there, but the ladies keep little dogs and get divorces.
Mother wouldn't go to the wedding, for dinner and supper were worsethan breakfast. The rest of the family all went except Dilsey, whodidn't much like the way her mother had treated her about Bill.Professor and Mrs. Young went, being still down there and a greatpleasure to us all. They were delighted, being raised up North, andwanted to take pictures of everything. Whenever we would pass a cabindoor with a nigger and his guitar sitting in it and picking on itthey would stop and say that it was so "picturesque." And the real olduncles with white hair and the mammies with their heads tied up theysaid reminded them of "Aunty Bellum days."
Everything went off as nice as could be expected under thecircumstances until the preacher said, "Salute your bride." Then, whenBill started to kiss her, Mammy Lou laid her hand against the side ofhis head so hard you could have heard the pop up to the big house andsaid she would show him how to be impudent to a woman of sixty, evenif he was a Yankee and educated. Everybody passed it off as a joke,but the slap didn't seem to set very well with Bill, being nineteenyears old and not used to such. We left right after the ceremony andMammy Lou and the others walked on down to her house to wait for thetwelve o'clock train that they were going to leave on.
Although I always enjoy going to places with the Youngs on account ofthe curious words and the camera they use, and although it was thesixth marriage of my old nurse, which you don't get a chance to see_every_ day, still when I think of breakfast, I must say it was thesaddest wedding I ever witnessed.
This morning when I first woke up and heard that regular old tune,_Play on Your Harp, Little David_, coming so natural and lifelike fromthe kitchen I thought surely it must be a dream, mammy being hundredsof miles away in Washington. The song kept on, though, just like ithas done every morning for twenty-five years, mother says:
"_Shad_-rach, _Me_-shach, _Abed_-ne-_go_, The _Lord_ has _washed_ me _white_ as _snow_,"
so I got up. It never does take me a minute to wash my face of amorning, and this morning it took even less time. I hopped into myclothes and flew down-stairs. It wasn't any dream! There was mammy,not looking like she was married nor anything, and a good, cheerfulfire in the stove, and the bacon smelling like you were nearlystarved. I didn't ask any questions, but just said, "Mammy," and shesaid, "Baby," and there I was hugging her fit to turn over the churn.I asked her if mother knew that she come back and she said no, she hadbeen easy and not made any noise, so as to surprise us all. I reckonmother
and father are so used to having Shadrach, Meshach and Abednegowake them up of a morning that they thought it was a dream, too.Pretty soon they heard us talking though and came in. Mother camefirst, for it is the gentleman's place to let the lady go first intothe kitchen, especially when they think that breakfast is to be got.
Mother said, "What are you doing here?" and Mammy Lou said, "Gettingbreakfast, Mis' Mary," which was about as straightforward as theycould have been with each other. Mother asked her if she wasn't stillmarried, and she said no, for she had "had occasion to give thatuppish Yankee nigger a good whippin' las' night." And then she went onto say that she told Dilsey _she_ could have him if she still wantedhim, and said she hoped Dilsey would take him for she would just_admire_ to be mother-in-law to that nigger.
Just then father came in, hearing the last remark about "that nigger,"and asked Mammy Lou what the trouble was between her and her newhusband. Mammy was breaking eggs into the big yellow bowl which shewas going to scramble for breakfast, and as she commenced telling usabout her marrying troubles she began to beat them very hard, whichseemed to ease her. It is a great help to people to think of theirenemies when they are beating things, for it makes them beat all theharder and don't really hurt the enemies.
Mammy said when they got home from the wedding she started to changeher white dress and veil and put on her good cashmere dress to rideon the train in. Just about that time Mr. Williams spoke up and saidhe was sleepy and wanted to get a good night's rest so he was going tobed, but he wanted mammy to have him a nice rare steak for hisbreakfast. Mammy then asked him if he had been born a fool or justturned that way since he had married so far above his station. He saidhe would mighty soon find out who the _fool_ was in that family--andshe better have good beaten biscuits to go with the steak. When hesaid this mammy gave him another sample of her strength like she didin the church and told him to get out of there and change his clothesto go to George Washington. Then he gave a big ha! ha! laugh in herface, right before Dilsey and the neighbors and said why, didn't sheknow that George Washington had been dead and buried behind the churchdoor for a hundred years? He kept on laughing and said the "ignoranceof country niggers is really amusable."
Mammy said she hated to do it with her veil on, being a new veil andshe hadn't used it but twice, but she couldn't wait to take it off,him grinning like a picture-taking man at his funny joke. All histeeth were showing, and, as mammy had always admired them for being sobig and white, she decided she would keep a handful to remember himby; so she gave him one good lick in the mouth with her weddingslipper, which was large and easy to come off. This broke a good halfof his front tooth, she said, besides drawing a lot of blood torelieve her feelings. While he was busy wiping away the blood andtrying to open his eyes enough to see candle-light again, mammy satdown by him, and, before he knew it, she had dragged him across herlap and was paddling him like he was her own dear son instead of herhusband. Then she called Dilsey and told her she might feel safe aboutmarrying him now, if she still wanted him, for he had better sensethan to try to fool with any member of _that_ family again. Mammy Lousaid of course _she_ couldn't stay married to a man she could paddle.She was too much of a lady. But Dilsey turned up her nose and said shewouldn't have any second-hand nigger, much less a whipped one.
Father spoke up then and said she couldn't give Bill to Dilsey withoutgetting a divorce from him first. Mammy Lou said, well, Marse Sheriffmight arrest her and Marse Judge might fine her, but she would seethem all in the place that was prepared for them before she wouldwaste twenty-five dollars for just _that_ little speck of marrying!
Father went on out to feed the chickens and mother went to wake upBertha (but not the baby) for breakfast, and Mammy Lou scraped theeggs into the dish I had brought her.
"Divorce _nothin'_," I heard her remark as she soused the hot skilletinto water that sizzled, "I done bought a hundred dollars' worth o'divorces _already_, and if the lawyers wasn't all scribes andPharisees they'd let _that_ run me the rest o' my days."
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