Chapter 14
The crowd shuffled into Mabel’s diner, half of its off-shift employees in tow.
“Table for twenty-seven,” Jeffrey called toward the back kitchen, then took it upon himself to start pushing tables together in the center of the dining room floor.
“I know that was a near tragedy and all,” he said to Ben, plopping into the chair beside him, “but it was also the most fun I’ve had in weeks.”
Ben laughed and gave Jeffrey the thumbs up while scanning the group for Summer. The chair to his right was still open, and he wanted to make sure she got it. When at last he spied her standing and chatting with Maisie and the other women, he waved her over.
But, unfortunately, Sally thought he was waving at her. She rushed right over, sat down gingerly beside Ben, then crossed her legs at the knee.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you outside the library,” she said without preamble.
“I have,” Jeff said, leaning forward to talk to Sally through Jeff. “Just the other day I saw him at the church concert. We missed you there by the way, Sally.”
Sally tilted her head to the side like an inquisitive husky puppy. “Did you now?” She broke out into a large, self-assured smile. “Well, I might have gone had I known Ben would be there.”
“Yup, yup, he was.” Jeffrey bobbed his head as he spoke. “You came with your mom and with Summer, right?”
“With Summer?” Sally asked, whipping her head back with a snort.
Ben and Jeffrey both stopped talking and stared at Sally who seemed to be working something out inside her head.
“I remember now,” she said with a triumphant look. “I saw you two talking in the library the other day. Are…? Are you two an item?”
Ben’s face felt like it was on fire. He glanced around again for Summer, hoping that just looking at her would give him the right answer. Because honestly he didn’t know whether they were an item or an almost-item. They’d certainly become more than friends, but until he knew how to define their relationship, it didn’t feel right to label it for others.
He found Summer sitting with Kristina Rose clear at the other end of the table. Their eyes met and she winked at him.
He grinned back at her, which apparently was more than enough to answer Sally’s question.
“Oh, I see,” she said, accepting a glass of water from Mabel herself who had come over to wait on the large group.
“Of course you bring in all this business on your day off, Jeff,” the old woman joked, then filled his glass too.
“We’re celebrating, Mabel. Join us!”
Mabel clicked her tongue. “And if I do that who will wait on you? Next time, my friends, next time.”
Mabel scuttled back toward the kitchen, and Sally excused herself to go to the restroom.
This was his chance! If he invited Summer to take Sally’s seat for herself, would that be rude? Would it matter? It had started to feel as if Sally needed a strong, clear signal that he was interested in someone else. The funny thing was if she had shown even a glimmer of interest in him less than two weeks ago, he’d have happily started a romance with her instead. But now that he’d met his real, honest-to-goodness dream girl, all bets were off and all chances were nonexistent for a certain cheeky librarian.
He stood and took bold, confident steps in Summer’s direction. That was when his phone started buzzing wildly at his hip. He groaned and fished the old-fashioned flip phone out of his pocket. MOM flashed across the screen in green and black.
So much for grabbing his chance while he could…
When he picked up the phone he could barely hear his mother over the din of the noisy diner, but her words came out a jumbled mess anyway.
“Ben! He’s… and I… but we…” Susan heaved between giant, racking sobs.
“Can you hear me? Hang tight, Mom. I’m coming home.”
He shot one last glance toward Summer, took a deep breath, then headed away from what he hoped would not be his last chance at this particular dream come true.
A blur of movement caught Summer’s attention. She’d already been watching him from the corner of her eye, and now she turned to take in the full sight of Ben as he strode toward her. He’s coming over. This is it. Are we going to hold hands again? Are we finally going to kiss tonight?
Her thoughts zoomed, but not once did she wonder whether this was what she really wanted, who she really wanted. She was all in for Ben, only…
She had told him they needed to stay just friends. Her stupid big mouth! Ben seemed too much a gentleman to deliberately go against her wishes. Did that mean she’d have to make the first move this time?
Ben frowned, drew out his phone, stopped walking. She saw him mouth a string of words; the only one she could discern was Mom. He frowned again, deeper this time.
Susan, Susan, what are you doing? Summer’s brain shouted. I thought we were friends! C’mon, Susan…
She should have jumped up to join Ben as he hurried out of the busy diner, but by the time she came to this realization, he had already left and Maisie had jumped deep into a discussion of the time she and Kristina Rose had snuck into the rival school after hours to steal their team mascot’s costume. Those crazy girls—the more she learned about them, the more she adored them.
She listened to the story, laughed in all the right places and tried not to think of Ben.
But then a girl she recognized as the librarian came up behind her and placed an icy hand on Summer’s shoulder.
“Can I talk to you?”
Summer gulped but ventured a nod.
“Come over here,” the girl said, leading her to one of the empty booths by the window. “So you like Ben,” she said once they’d both seated themselves.
Well, that was unexpected and, to be honest, pretty rude. Summer took a moment to collect herself before answering, but even then she couldn’t fully hide her disgust. “Umm, excuse me? Why would you say that? I don’t even know your name, yet somehow you think—”
“I’m Sally,” the other girl interrupted. “You’re Summer, right?” She stared at Summer with steel gray eyes that looked like ice against her snowy complexion. She’d be a real-life Elsa of Arendelle if not for her jet black hair and the absence of that fabulous gown.
Summer glanced back at her friends who were watching this conversation with confused expressions, then nodded. Perhaps if she gave the girl what she wanted this would all be over quicker?
“And you like Ben,” Sally said flatly.
Summer hesitated, but then nodded again. “Am I really that obvious?” she squeaked.
“Yes, yes, you are. But so is he.”
Summer drummed her fingers on the table. What was she supposed to say now? This whole thing was terribly uncomfortable, but the other woman either didn’t notice or didn’t care.
“When did you move to town?” Sally pressed.
“About a week ago, I guess. I’m watching my Aunt Iris’s shop while she… Why are you asking me so many questions? It’s weird.”
“I figured as much.”
“Umm…” Figured what? Weren’t librarians supposed to be good with their words, or was all that time spent quietly among books bad for their social skills?
Sally sighed as if somehow she knew exactly what Summer was thinking—knew and strongly disapproved. “Ben’s been sad for years. Then about a week or so ago, that seems to have started to change. Which is why I figured that was about the time you came into the picture.”
“I met Ben about a week ago,” Summer confirmed.
“Yeah, like I said, I figured that part out.” She sighed again. “As much as I hate to say it, you seem to be good for him.”
“Thanks?”
“It’s you who should be thankful. He’s a great guy.”
“What’s your name again?”
“Sally.” She frowned as if Summer had been the one to corner her and not the other way around.
“It sounds like you like Ben too, Sally
,” Summer said, then stood up to take her leave.
Sally grabbed her wrist before she could walk away. “If you hurt him, no one in this town will ever forgive you.”
Hurt him? Why would she hurt him? Of course, she only wanted the best for Ben, but she didn’t owe this Sally girl any explanations. She shrugged off the weirdness of their conversation and headed back over to her real friends. Now she wanted Ben more than ever before. Nobody told her who or what she could or couldn’t have. And it seemed if she didn’t date Ben herself then this psycho would try to move in and claim him.
She wanted Ben—needed Ben—and it seemed like he needed her too. Now they just had to get past all their flirtations and finally start something real.
She was ready.
Chapter 15
When Ben returned home, he found his mother sitting hunched over the kitchen table. Its surface was so cluttered he couldn’t even see the wood beneath. Old photo albums, empty liquor bottles, clothes that had belonged to his father that he hadn’t realized his mother had saved, all lay together in a giant, scattered heap.
“Ben!” she wailed. “Did you know he got married again?”
Okay, so this breakdown wasn’t about Stephen as it usually was, but rather about his deadbeat dad.
“Good for him,” Ben said, putting an arm under each of his mother’s armpits and pulling her to a fully seated position.
She turned to him, her eyes glassy with tears, her lower lip trembling like that of a child about to throw a tantrum.
“Her name is Megan, and she works at the news.”
So that was why she was always watching the nightly news. It had nothing to do with the charming male anchor and everything to do with the usurping adulteress—or so said his mother at least—who read the news alongside him.
“She j-j-just had a b-b-baby!” Susan shouted and then fell face forward onto an open photo album spread out in front of her.
“Mom, it’s fine. He was no good for us anyway.”
“What do you mean? Everything was better when he was still here.”
“No, everything was better before that jerk Stephen shot himself and ruined our lives!”
“Ben, how could you…?” Why did she always have to act as if Ben were to blame for her misery? Ben was the only one still holding this family together. He’d given up so much for her, but did she even realize that? Did she even care?
“We’re all hurting. Every one of us, and I bet Dad is too,” he said through clenched teeth. Here was his mother drudging out their bleak past when he so desperately wanted to focus on the future—a future that just moments ago had seemed so vibrant with possibilities.
“But he has a new life, a pretty wife, a second chance at kids,” Susan argued, shaking her head. “Oh, Ben, I’ve lost everything that ever mattered.”
“I’m still here,” he whispered. Suddenly he felt too tired to argue.
Susan broke down in a fit of sobs. She lifted one of his father’s old flannel shirts to her face and buried her face in the worn fabric. She wouldn’t even look at Ben, wouldn’t even acknowledge that he was standing right there, where he’d been for the past twenty years.
“I’m still here,” he said again, wondering if that even mattered, if it was even true. For the past week, his head and heart had both been with Summer. Clearly he’d neglected his poor mother. Looking at her now was proof of that.
His inner critic returned more hostile than ever. You don’t deserve to be happy, Ben. Look what you did to your poor mother. You make me sick!
Susan continued to wail in the kitchen, but no matter how loud she got it wasn't enough to drown out the stream of self-hate that flowed to Ben’s heart.
You did this to her. You! It’s all your fault. Summer deserves better, and you know it!
He’d messed everything up by daring to dream. Hadn’t he killed that part of himself long ago? He took a few deep breaths and then brought his mother a beer from the garage. He briefly contemplated grabbing one for himself too, but what good would that do?
Honestly, he’d just rather die.
Oh, and he had been so close to happiness. He was a selfish, foolish man. A jerk. Like Stephen—and like his father.
“I’m going to bed,” he told his mother after the sobbing had finally subsided. “Don't stay up too late.” He kissed her on the head, then took his leave. He also took a couple sleeping pills. The last thing he needed was a restless night, or worse, a never-ending dream loop reliving his sweet time with Summer.
She’d be gone soon enough, move on to a better life—one she deserved, but he didn’t.
He only had to manage to avoid her for another few weeks.
Summer had hoped Ben would stop by Morning Glory’s after his shift at the market, but he didn’t. She had hoped he’d give her a call or even show up at her doorstep that evening, but he didn’t do that either. So she did the only thing she could do—she took matters into her own hands and called him rather than waiting around like a helpless damsel.
He didn’t answer.
Okay, so maybe she would have to do a little bit of waiting, but she felt confident he’d call back. He would… Wouldn’t he?
Well, it had been clear he’d been on his way to talk with her when he got the call that tore him away from their impromptu gathering at Mabel’s diner. And he’d showed up at her house again that evening very shortly after they’d ended their friend date… What had he come to say?
And what was keeping him away?
Oh, no. Wait a second!
What if something had happened, something so bad he hadn’t had a chance to call in the last twenty-four hours? What if he or Susan was hurt and rather than helping she’d moped around all day wondering why he hadn’t called? They weren’t even dating yet and already she was a terrible girlfriend.
Unless, of course, he was waiting for her to make a move. After all, she’d been the one to insist they were better off as friends. Had he taken that to heart? Was he holding back out of respect for what she’d claimed she’d wanted?
She didn’t like that idea very much. Ugh. Why had she been so insistent? Why couldn’t she have left things a little open? She dialed Ben’s number again, but still no answer.
Now she was really worried, confused, and every emotion that fell between the two. With all the angst and uncertainty she felt about her future career, she at least knew she wanted this, wanted to see where things could go with Ben. So she needed to be bold, needed to pursue what she wanted with unapologetic passion. She needed to stop by his house to make sure everything was all right—to make sure they were all right.
Not even the niggling fear of rejection that tickled at the back of her mind could stop her as she fired up her sedan and drove to Ben’s neighborhood. This is right, she told herself. He’ll be happy to see you.
But when she arrived outside the squat ranch, she found the windows completely dark, the house as still as the night around it. They didn’t have a car, so she couldn’t check to see whether it was still in the garage and all the curtains were drawn, which meant no peeking through the windows. The last thing she wanted to do was disturb Susan if she’d finally managed to get some rest.
Hmm…
Perhaps she could try again tomorrow. She had to be worrying herself over nothing, right?
Chapter 16
“What’s with you?” Ben’s mom mumbled as he shuffled past on his way to the kitchen.
“What?” he muttered back, continuing toward the fridge to grab a cold can of soda.
He took a long swig then turned back toward the door, ready to lose himself in Netflix for the evening once again. Susan’s stood in the arched doorway, her bony frame a living shadow as she pressed a hand up against each side.
He stepped to the side and waited for her to pass, but she kept stock still. Only her eyes flitted back and forth as if assessing him.
“What’s with you?” she asked again.
He shrugged, trying to hide just how muc
h he didn’t want to deal with her at the moment. “Nothing,” he said. “Will you please move?”
But he knew that whenever his mother got something stuck in her mind, she refused to drop it without a fight. Sure enough, she sighed and asked, “What happened to that nice girl, Summer?”
“She’s gone.” He took another drink, trying to act cool, as if this fact didn’t bother him in the slightest.
“She left town?”
“No, but she may as well have. Will you please move now?”
Susan groaned and stepped aside. Ben had assumed he was off the hook, but no—she followed him into his bedroom and sat down at his swivel desk chair.
“What?” he grumbled. “Can’t I have any privacy?”
Susan’s hands shook, despite her best attempts to contain them calmly in her lap. “Did you and Summer get in a fight?”
“No.”
“Then why are you moping around like the whole world is coming to an end?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
“Too bad, you’re talking.” She picked up his legs and laid them on her lap, the way she used to do when he was a little boy and came home sore from soccer practice. She massaged little circles in his calves and waited for him to answer the question she’d already asked half a dozen times.
Was she really going to make him say it? He took a deep breath and did his best to explain it gently. “I decided to stop seeing Summer. My decision. Me. There was no fight or anything. It’s just not a good time for me is all.”
“Why isn’t it a good time?”
Neither said anything as the truth of the situation sank in.
Susan’s eyes widened and she pushed Ben’s legs to the floor. “Oh, I see.”
He waited for her to charge out of the room, taking offense as he’d known she would.
But she surprised him once again, this time by choosing to stay. She rose from the desk chair and came to sit beside him on the bed. “Because of me,” she said plainly, perhaps the truest thing she’d ever admitted.
Love's Prayer (The First Street Church Romances Book 1) Page 9