by JA Hensley
I’m signing off the computer when someone walks up to the desk. I take a deep breath before looking up because I really can’t deal with anymore bullshit today.
“Christin, are you okay?” I hear the voice of my best friend, and my eyes fill with tears.
I look up at Becca whose face is red and swollen from crying, but she’s trying to smile at me. I nod slightly and walk around to hug her.
“It was a complete shock. How is he?” I ask.
“He’s going to be fine. The surgeon said there wasn’t much internal damage, but he’ll be off work for a while. They just took him to his room from recovery.”
“Is Colin okay?” I can only imagine what he’s going through.
“Not really, but he’s being a typical man. He’s standing there staring at a wall not speaking to anyone. I’m sure he’ll break down when we get home.”
“Let me clock out, and I’ll come up with you.” She nods and walks with me to the employee lounge. Once I get my things we head to the elevator to take us up to the fourth floor where the surgical recovery rooms are.
“I know now probably isn’t the best time to ask, but what’s going on with you? I haven’t seen you since we were in Las Vegas. Stephanie mentioned that something happened between you and Jude.”
I close my eyes and lean against the wall. How do I explain this in a way that doesn’t make me look like a complete whore?
“It’s complicated,” I say knowing that’s a cop-out.
“I see. Well, when you’re ready to actually talk about it you know I’ll listen and not judge. I only want you to be happy.” I look up and see a sympathetic look aimed my way.
“I know and I’ll tell you, but not now. Today has been shit, and my head’s a mess. But soon, I promise.”
The elevator doors open and we walk in silence to Jude’s room. There is a big scary man standing in front of the door. His uniform is the same as Jude’s was so I assume they must work together.
“Mrs. Schaefer,” he nods at Becca. “I need to see your identification, please,” he says to me, still not moving from his post. I show my hospital badge, which he takes from me and inspects closely.
“Dillon, this is my best friend. She’s a nurse here, and she treated Jude when he was brought in. I promise that she is who she says she is.”
Scary man, Dillon, looks at me and then Becca before nodding, returning my badge, and opening the door. Colin is sitting in a chair by the bed, his head in his hands. There is a heart monitor, a ventilator, two IV poles with multiple bags on them surrounding the bed, and a crash cart in the corner.
Becca goes to stand next to her husband and puts a hand on his shoulder. He finally looks up at her and gives a small smile. I don’t know what to say, so I just stand near the door and look Jude over. Of course I can’t see much because he’s covered with a blanket. According to the beeping sound his heart rate is steady, but the ventilator is breathing for him. That’s not the best sign. His face is pale, which is probably a result of blood loss. The more I study him, the weaker my knees get. I’ve just let this man into my life, and I can’t imagine losing him now. How crazy is that? I have never once in my life wanted a man to stick around, and right now I’m about to lose my shit if he doesn’t wake up and say something cocky and offensive.
The direction of my thoughts causes my cheeks to heat and my eyes to fill up with tears again. I’ve got to get out of this room before I completely break down. I mumble something about being tired and make my way to the hall as fast as I can. I don’t stop walking until I reach the service elevator, knowing that my friend won’t know to follow me this way. Once I’m enclosed in the box, I allow myself to feel the emotions and the tears to fall.
23
If that fucking beeping doesn’t stop soon, I may start smashing shit. I try to open my eyes to find the source of the annoying sound, but my eyelids don’t want to cooperate. What the fuck?
The beeping gets faster, and I try to sit up and smash it. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I pull away while punching at whoever is there.
“God damn it, Jude.” I hear my brother’s voice and immediately calm down. If he’s here, then surely he’s got the situation under control. If we’ve been taken hostage, he’s capable of getting us out of here until I can get my body to work.
“What’s happened,” I ask but I’m not sure it comes out right. My mouth feels like I’ve been eating sand and my throat is on fire. The rest of my body is so heavy I doubt I could move if I had to, and that fucking beeping is making it nearly impossible to concentrate.
“You’re in the hospital. You were shot yesterday and had to have surgery. They just took the ventilator off and removed the breathing tube,” he says quickly.
I was shot? My mind tries to replay the events I can remember. I took a guy to the courthouse. He was remanded so I had to take him back to the county jail. I recall walking down the steps, but it gets fuzzy after that.
I try to open my eyes again and this time I’m successful. I can see my brother sitting right next to the bed and a bunch of hospital equipment behind him. I turn my head, but that sends a bolt of pain down my back so I stop that movement.
“I’m going to call the nurse and have her come check on you since you’re finally awake.” Colin reaches down and picks up a large white box attached to a cord. My vision is still pretty blurry so it’s hard to tell what he’s doing. I hear a female voice on a speaker, and Colin says that I’m awake. I close my eyes again, hoping that someone can do something about the increasing pain in my gut.
I hear the door open and try to look at who walks in. My lids apparently are on strike because I’m still in the dark.
“Mr. Schaefer, I’m Donna, your nurse today. Can you open your eyes?”
I shake my head while trying again.
“I’m sure they’re dry. I’ve asked for some eye drops to be sent up to help with that. Are you in any pain?” I nod my head and hope she can tell.
“All right, I’ve got some morphine here for you, but it will probably make you sleepy. Don’t fight it, because that will make the pain worse. If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to call on me or have your brother do it.” She must be putting the medicine in my IV because I don’t hear anything else until the door closes. My arms and legs get very warm, and I’m pulled back under into sleep.
When I wake again, the beeping has finally stopped. I take stock of my body to make sure I’m still alive. I can move my fingers and toes, but my belly feels like I’ve gone three rounds in the MMA ring with Brock Lesnar. I try to open my eyes, and to my surprise, it’s much easier this time. I blink several times and the room comes into focus. My sister-in-law is leaning back in a recliner, sleeping. I don’t see anyone else in the room, but I’m pretty sure Colin was here before. I try to sit up, but my gut protests. I’m sure this bed has a way to raise up, I just have to find the remote. I feel around next to my hips, and my right hand brushes a box. Unfortunately, it falls off the bed and crashes to the floor. The noise startles Becca, and she sits up quickly.
“You’re awake! Thank God.”
“Yeah, I want to sit up, but I can’t seem to figure out how.” She is such a sweet person, and I don’t want to take my frustration out on her.
“Oh, I’ll get it,” she says as she bends to pick up what I knocked off my bed. She presses a button, and I can feel the head of the bed start to move. She stops it when my head is lifted, but I’m not sitting all the way up and it feels so much better.
“Thanks,” I mumble, but I don’t know what else say.
“It’s no problem. The nurse should be in here soon to check on you. It’s almost time for your vitals.”
We sit in silence, me staring at the wall and her typing away on her phone. A few minutes later an older woman in hot pink scrubs enters the room.
“Good morning, Mr. Schaefer. So good to see you awake. I’m Donna, your nurse again today. Are you having any pain?” she asks while she puts a the
rmometer in my mouth and a blood pressure cuff on my arm. I wait patiently as she does her job, trying to decide how to answer her question. Once she removes the thermometer, I answer.
“I am in pain, but nothing like yesterday. I don’t want to be out of it today so if I could have something less potent than morphine that would be great.”
“I think that can be arranged, but don’t try and be a tough guy. If it gets worse, you need to let me know. Staying ahead of it will be the key to keeping you comfortable. I’ll have the cafeteria bring you some breakfast.” She turns and walks out.
“Colin’s on his way. I made him go home and sleep last night. He’d been in this chair for two days and was starting to smell.”
I smile at Becca’s attempt at levity. “Has anyone else been here?” I ask casually. I know who I hope has come to visit, but I’m not about to say it out loud.
“Well, you have a guard posted outside your door, but I don’t think that really counts as a visitor. Your father called and talked with Colin, and Christin was here.” Hearing her name makes my heart beat faster. She actually came to see me?
“Why do I have a guard, and who’s providing the security?”
“I’m not sure why, but I do know that the person who shot you escaped custody. It’s always someone with a Belator uniform on. I assumed it was part of your job or something. You may want to ask Colin about it.”
“Huh, I’ll figure it out. Why was Christin here?”
Becca shakes her head before answering. “Well, mostly she was worried. She treated you in the ER before you went to surgery. However, I have a feeling that there’s more going on than a nurse-patient relationship. She’s being pretty tight lipped about it, though.”
I can’t help the little grin that forms on my face. Becca is studying to be a psychologist, and she’s very intuitive. If what she thinks is true, then I’ve got a better chance than I thought with Christin.
Thankfully Donna comes back in the room before I say something to embarrass myself. She’s holding a tiny cup in her hand with a couple white pills in it.
“This is Lortab and it should help with the pain but not knock you out, especially with as big as you are. The doctor is doing rounds and should be in here to check on you soon. The cafeteria is a little behind so it may be twenty minutes or so before your food arrives. Do you need anything else?”
By the time she’s done with her list, I’ve swallowed the pills and washed them down with the water Becca hands me. I shake my head and give her a smile. She takes the cup from me and walks out of the room with all the efficiency of someone who’s been doing a job for decades.
“She’s been amazing. Christin said that she’s the best nurse in the hospital,” Becca says giving my thoughts voice.
“I like her. I prefer someone to be all business and tell it to me straight. Things get done faster that way. What time is it, anyway?”
She checks her phone before saying, “Six-thirty in the morning. Why, do you have a date or something?” Becca laughs at her own joke.
“Not today, I just wondered. I can’t see the window so I had no point of reference,” I say. Silently I hope that Christin comes by before she starts her shift, which usually begins at seven.
24
It’s been difficult to stay away from Jude’s room. Thankfully, I know most of the nurses on that wing so I have no doubt that he’s receiving great care. This morning I finally quit fighting the urge to see him and go up to the fourth floor before my shift starts at seven.
As usual there is a guard standing in front of his door, looking pissed off. I show my hospital badge, and I’m granted entrance. When I walk into the room, I see Jude sitting up talking to Becca, who looks exhausted. Neither of them has noticed me yet, so I take advantage of it and shamelessly check him out. He’s wearing the standard hospital gown, but it does nothing to hide the bulging muscles underneath. His face is handsome with the beard growth of the past two days. He doesn’t seem to be in too much pain, and the color in his face has improved.
“Hey, Christin, when did you get here?” my best friend’s voice breaks my concentration. I look over at her and smile.
“I just walked in. I have to get to work soon, but I thought I’d check on our patient. How are you, Jude?” I take a step toward the bed, but not close enough to touch him. I know I won’t be able to stop myself.
“Oh, you know, I’m ready to train for the Ironman, if only they’d let me out of here.” I appreciate his attempt at humor and give him a smile.
“Well you may want to give it a couple more days. I’m not sure the bicycle seat would be very comfortable at this point.” He laughs out loud but stops himself quickly and clutches his side.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you laugh. Look, I need to get to work. I’m glad to see you’re doing better,” I say as I back out of the room, but not before I see the look of curiosity on Becca’s face. She’s too perceptive, and I know I’ll be interrogated later.
I hurry down the hall to take the elevator to the emergency room, trying to remember why getting involved with a man is a bad idea.
Two days away from freedom. I can’t wait to graduate and get the fuck away from here. Westley and I are going to State together and summer classes start next week. He’s been my rock since Bobby died, and I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him. Tonight he’s taking me to our senior party, but he’s late and I’m getting pissed. I’ve tried calling, but he isn’t answering. I try sending him a text.
Are we still going to the party?
A few minutes later his response comes through.
This isn’t working out.
What?
Us. We’re done.
What the fuck is happening here?
I don’t understand.
Don’t make this so hard. I’m going to the party with Shelley. You can go alone. Or not at all. Whatever.
He did not just break up with me in a text message. I’ve spent the past year with this douche, and he ends it right before we’re supposed to move away. Maybe my mother is right about guys. They’re just not worth the trouble long-term. I’m better off on my own than tied down to a penis. But I always get the last word, so I fire off one last text before I block this asshole’s number.
I hope she gives you herpes. Fuck you.
The sounds of the emergency room pull me out of my head. It seems unusually busy today, so I hurry to stash my purse and clock in.
“MVA, multiple vics, rigs are on the way,” Jonathan says as he hands me some gloves. Nothing like a pileup on the interstate to get the day going.
I am absolutely drained after today. We had so many patients I can’t remember them all. I didn’t even get to stop and eat lunch. My stomach reminds me of that with a growl loud enough to be heard on the other side of the nurses’ station.
“I’m going to the diner after I finish this chart if you want to join me,” Jonathan says.
“It’s tempting, but I think I’ll grab a sandwich and go home. I can barely keep my eyes open.”
“Suit yourself. You know where I’ll be if you change your mind,” he replies as he walks past me, squeezing my shoulder. I sigh and think about how good my jetted tub is going to feel when I get home.
I finish my work as quickly as I can and hurry out to the parking lot. As I walk up to my car, I see something on the hood. Once I get close enough I can see it’s a flower arrangement wrapped in green tissue paper and tied with a gold ribbon. Someone obviously has the wrong vehicle. Nobody I know would leave me flowers. I look through the bouquet of roses and mums, but there isn’t a card. It smells wonderful. I scan the other cars to try and figure out who may have a car like mine, but I don’t see any.
“Well, I guess my dining room table is going to look nice tonight,” I say to myself as I unlock the driver’s door and climb in.
The shrill sound of my alarm clock rips me from the amazingly sexy dream. I throw my arm over my eyes and try to figure out what’s happeni
ng. Reaching over to silence the horrible sound, I knock over a glass. I peek over the side of the bed and see what looks to be half a glass of wine soaking into my carpet. Fucking hell.
I jump out of bed and get a towel to soak the light pink liquid from my cream carpet. Thankfully I spent the extra money for stain-proof so hopefully it won’t be ruined.
“What the fuck was I doing drinking wine last night?” I ask my pillow. I don’t normally drink anything other than whiskey, but apparently I did last night. I guess I’m more torn up about Jude than I realize. I’ll have to remember to replace that bottle before Becca comes over again.
Once the mess is sopped up, I make my way into the shower. I only have thirty minutes before I have to be back at the hospital for my last shift before four days off. I can only hope that it’s an easy day because this headache isn’t going to go away quickly.
25
Seven days. Seven of the longest fucking days of my life have been wasted in this hospital bed. I was ready to go home three days ago, but the doctors insisted that I needed the extra physical therapy and refused to sign my release papers. I’m leaving today come hell or high water. I want to sleep in my own bed, and to be able to take a piss without having to report how much came out each time.
The days have felt longer than twenty-four hours, and I’m bored out of my skull. Of course, the one person that I can’t get out of my head hasn’t been here either, which is not improving my mood.
“Good morning, Jude. I have your medicine,” Donna says as she enters my room. She’s been like a mother to me and has been the only one to call me on my bullshit and keep me sane.