by S S Bazinet
He sat down in a slipper chair and crossed his arms. He had to stay in damage-control mode, not get caught up in his own emotional tirades. Unfortunately, as soon as he spoke, his anger flared. “What were you thinking when you talked to Elise? You must have babbled on like a man whose brain had gone missing.”
Arel approached him with hands clasped. “Is she completely traumatized?”
“You’re lucky as hell. Rolphe told her you’ve been sick and when you’re like that, you can say things that don’t make sense.”
“Good old Rolphe, he can surprise me.” Arel smiled weakly. “Telling Elise a tale about me being ill was rather brilliant.”
“Yes, I think Elise bought it.”
“But maybe he’s right, Will.”
“About what?”
“All that stuff I told Elise was a story, wasn’t it?”
“You gave her the facts.”
“The facts about what? When I think about my life, I don’t know if it’s real or not. Visiting the other side was so different. I didn’t think of myself in the same way. I wasn’t the person you see in front of you. I didn’t have a history or faults. When I thought about being here in this life, it felt like it didn’t matter.”
“I think it matters to Peggy. Did you forget how much she suffered when Col got hold of her mind?”
“Of course not, but Peggy suffered because she let her guilt take over. I did the same thing, but you told me guilt was a weakness. You told me I had to let it go if I wanted to escape Col’s clutches.”
“Arel, how’s all this stuff about the other side going to help. Right now, you and I are here. People’s sanity and their lives are at stake. So we better make some good choices about what we do next with Col.”
Arel retreated to his desk, leaning his hands on the surface. “Col could enjoy where he is. He could revel in bliss. But he won’t let go of his hate and need for revenge.”
“It’s not easy to let go. You should know that better than anyone. The way you indulge in your emotions—”
Arel swiveled and stared back with a glint of the fierceness William remembered. “You can still get so angry at me. I’m sorry it has to be that way.”
“And what about your anger, Arel? You were like Col, out for blood, or rather you forced your blood on me!”
Arel’s face flushed with shame. When he spoke, his voice was distant but pleading again. “It hasn’t been all bad, has it?”
William sat back, disgusted with himself. He kept repeating what happened to him, bringing up his same sorry tale like some old man in a bar ruminating over a beer. “What difference does it make? I’m letting my feelings get the better of me. That encounter with Col must have stirred up all the crap again. Anyway, I’ve never thanked you properly for helping me after—”
Arel smiled. “William, it’s okay. You would have done the same for me.”
“Yes, but if the situation were reversed, I doubt that I would have been able to go up against Col.”
“Will, you tell me to have faith. You have to have faith too.”
William didn’t reply. He was trying to contain his resentment. He hadn’t only allowed himself to be pulled into Arel’s world. Arel’s world had completely taken over every part of William’s life. At this point, he barely knew who he was.
But Arel seemed oblivious to William’s feelings. He picked up a quartz orb from his desk and held it up for study.
William watched with impatience. “Arel, this is no time for crystal gazing.”
“I’m thinking, Will,” Arel mumbled.
“Thinking about what?”
Arel blinked a couple of times as he continued to stare at the orb. “Can I tell you something? When I woke up and remembered I’d bared my soul to Elise, I couldn’t breathe. I’d finally found a woman who loves me, a woman I adore, and I knew I might have destroyed our chance at happiness.”
“Yes, I’m aware of all that.”
“But then something happened. As I was thinking about it all, I had the strangest thought. I decided if Elise wants no part of me, I had to accept it. I can’t keep lying to her. While I’m in this body, I am what I am. I can’t change that, not for her, not for anyone.”
William stood up. “That’s great, but I think you better keep that feeling to yourself for the time being. Elise’s welfare is at stake.”
Arel walked over and stopped a couple of feet in front of William. “What about you, Will? Can you accept who I am?”
William hesitated. Arel’s voice had gone from dreamy to demanding. And his eyes were locked on to William’s. He cleared his throat. “Don’t ask me those hard questions. Let’s get past this mess with Col, then we’ll discuss whether or not you’re worth the bother.”
Arel clasped William’s shoulder. “Is that what I am to you? Someone who makes your life miserable?”
William pulled away. He wanted to tell Arel the truth about their relationship, but he stopped himself. Dealing with Col took precedence over everything else. A discussion about William’s feelings would have to wait.
“Why wait ‘til later, William? Your feelings are valid.”
William scowled. “Stop reading my mind.”
Arel let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t have to read your mind. Your face says it all. You never wanted a bond. In fact, it’s clear that you have no use for me, not as a friend, much less a brother.”
“Don’t make this more difficult, Arel. If you and I get into it, Col could take us both out.”
Arel stood up a little straighter. “You’re right about Col. But as far as what we share, you have it all wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“You think I need you, but I don’t. I’ll always consider you my brother, but that doesn’t mean I need you to validate who I am. And I don’t need you to rescue me anymore.”
“Right, you’re saying that now, but when you do something stupid again—”
“The next time I’ll call Michael or maybe even Rolphe.”
William held his tongue, but the scar on his palm was throbbing. Arel’s announcement was exactly what he thought he wanted to hear, yet the only thing he felt was anger, and he didn’t know why. He turned and started for the door. “I’ll go downstairs and tell Elise you’re awake. I’m sure she’ll want to see you. I’d advise you to stick to Rolphe’s story and patch things up.”
Arel remained where he was. “Thank you, William,” he said in a courteous, but detached tone.
William let himself out of the room and headed for the stairs. Sometimes, he hated Arel even more than he hated his father. Both men changed William’s life in ways that caused him unbearable pain. William’s father was responsible for crushing his heart. Arel was responsible for making it feel again. He didn’t know which was worse.
* * * * *
After his discussion with William, Arel collapsed into a chair. He’d known for a long time that William had issues with their relationship. But he hadn’t wanted to face them anymore than he wanted to face Elise and tell her about his past. Now, those issues were coming to a head. William couldn’t make peace with what he considered Arel’s betrayals. And Arel could never apologize enough times to change William’s mind. That left only one option. Arel had to accept a parting of the ways.
In the past, such a concept might have derailed him completely. But sitting in his bedroom, rubbing the scar on his palm, he began to understand what Michael had told him. The angel said the spark of the soul was the only important thing that survived from lifetime to lifetime. Arel had to have faith that the spark inside of him would sustain him when he let go of William’s friendship. He would always honor their bond, but he wouldn’t ask William to reciprocate. William was free to think and do whatever he wanted.
As for Elise, he’d do what William suggested. He’d find a way to smooth things over with her. After that, he’d let Elise decide what she wanted. If she rejected him, he’d learn to live with that rejection. No matter what, he had to accept wh
o he was, faults and all. It was the only course forward in his life.
That left Col. Michael’s suggestion had worked enough to confine Col. Now what could he do to thwart Col’s ability to reach out psychically and harm the people he loved, not just now but forever. There had to be a permanent solution.
He closed his eyes and let himself drift into a meditative state. A calm mind, free of worry, was best if he wanted to come up with an answer. As a feeling of peacefulness settled over him, an idea slipped in. It was so radical, he had to pause. He had to let himself adjust to a concept that was life altering in the extreme. But the longer he sat with the inspired thought, the more it made sense. “If I could pull it off, it wouldn’t only take care of Col, it would solve my problems with Elise and William.”
He stood up and went to his desk. He needed to put his plan into action as soon as possible. He was sure it would be best for all concerned. With a fresh excitement replacing his exhaustion, he turned on his laptop and smiled. With the internet at his fingers, he began his search. Within a few minutes, he found what he was looking for.
Twenty-Two
THE ROOM WAS bright with morning light when Arel woke up. He stretched out his body and realized he felt much better. After coming home exhausted the day before, a peaceful sleep had worked its magic. He looked at Elise’s side of the bed. It was empty, but he vaguely remembered her kissing his cheek earlier that morning. She’d told him to sleep in.
They hadn’t discussed his tell-it-all confession. When they went to bed the night before, Elise seemed to want to avoid talking. Instead, she told him how much she loved him and made sure he was holding her when she fell asleep.
He was grateful for Elise’s patient attitude. It gave him the freedom he needed for other duties. His shields were a primary concern. Before he got out of bed, he checked them and was satisfied that they were holding. His energy barriers were reinforced by those of William and Rolphe. As a further backup, Michael and Carey were also supporting the powerful fields.
With a cocoon of energy surrounding the people he loved and keeping them safe, Arel’s next job was to visit Peggy. He’d been informed that she was free of Col, but that didn’t mean she was back to normal. Arel had to do what he could to ease her mind and encourage her to believe in herself again.
After taking a quick shower and getting dressed, he let Elise know that he’d be next door, paying Peggy a visit. As he walked over to her house, he remembered how happy he’d been when he found out Peggy and Tim had purchased a home next to his. The couple had been lifesavers when he was at a very low point in his life. Now, they were like his family.
Standing at their front door and knocking lightly, he tried to think of what he could do or say to Peggy. Carey answered the door and quickly stepped out onto the porch before Arel could decide on the best way to bolster Peggy’s self-esteem.
“Morning, Arel,” Carey beamed. “It’s good to see you looking yourself again.”
Arel couldn’t help but smile back. The young man, dressed in an old, ratty t-shirt and jeans, radiated a youthful energy that still baffled Arel. Carey was just as much an angel as Michael, but their personalities were very different. Michael appeared to be quite serious whereas Carey could be his opposite. Even though he was usually cheerful, he could also behave like a wayward youth. Of course, that was simply Arel’s opinion.
Arel took Carey aside. “Tell me how Peggy’s doing.”
Carey’s smile eased into a thoughtful frown. “She’s had a very hard time. I was lucky to get a chance to help her. She was completely taken in by Col’s lies.”
“But you got her back, Carey. I’m very grateful.”
“Thanks, I’ve been keeping a close eye on her mood, trying to make sure she doesn’t think too much. It seems to be helping. Right now, she’s in the kitchen feeding little Sara.”
“I need to talk to her.”
“I think she’d like that, but don’t be surprised if she isn’t her usual self.”
Arel nodded as he let himself into the house. His gut took a hit almost immediately. A heavy energy of gloom seemed to linger in the space as he made his way to the kitchen. He was sure Carey had tried his best to clear the negativity, but an angel could only do so much. If Peggy was still depressed and holding on to her experience with Col, Carey couldn’t force her to cheer up. Neither could Arel. He could only hope she was receptive when it came to moving into a better place. He paused in the kitchen doorway. Peggy was sitting next to Sara’s highchair, trying to wipe Sara’s mouth. “Peggy?”
Hearing her name, Peggy turned, looking back with fretful eyes. Her features were hard-set with weariness and her lingering fears. “Arel, you’re home,” she announced without a smile.
Arel walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry I was in London when all of this started. But I’m here for you now.”
Peggy seemed unable to respond, but little Sara didn’t seem to notice her mother’s difficulty.
“Up! Up!” the little girl demanded as she reached out to Arel.
Peggy’s somber expression lightened a little. “Looks like we’re both glad you’re here.”
Arel smiled at Sara and adjusted the tray on her high chair so he could pick her up. “You’re such a beautiful, little princess, just like your momma.”
Sara seemed content to be in Arel’s comforting arms. Without any hesitation, she grabbed his shirt and buried her head in his chest. As she continued to cling to him, she put her thumb in her mouth and began sucking it.
Arel glanced at Peggy. “Little Ariel has always sucked his thumb, but this is new for Sara.”
“I think I’ve upset her with all my craziness.”
Arel did his usual, bouncy dance and patted Sara’s back to sooth her. “Or she could have picked up the habit from Ariel. But let’s not worry about that now.”
“Your right. I don’t have the energy to even think about such matters.”
“How is Tim coping? I didn’t see him when I came in.”
“He made a dash to the store to get some groceries. Poor guy is so tired and stressed out since this started. Thank goodness for Carey. He’s been staying here with me so Tim can rest a little.”
“Did I hear my name?” Carey asked as he walked into the kitchen. “I thought I’d check and see if there’s anything I can do, Peggy.”
For the first time, Peggy smiled. “Thanks Carey, you’ve been so helpful.” She looked up at Arel. “I don’t know what he did, but somehow he helped me find my way out of that terrifying nightmare I was stuck in.”
Carey’s eyes flashed a brighter blue as he acknowledged Peggy’s praise. “That’s what neighbors are for.” He turned to Arel. “Do you want me to take Sara? She looks like she’s falling asleep.”
Arel nodded and carefully transferred the little girl into Carey’s arms. “She doesn’t usually nap so early. She must be tired.”
Peggy stood up and carefully pushed some blond curls off of Sara’s forehead. “She’s been at Carol’s house, and she’s off her schedule.”
“I’ll put her to bed,” Carey said as he left the room.
Once he was gone, Arel turned to Peggy. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
Peggy tried to say something and hesitated when her eyes filled with tears.
Arel took out a white, folded handkerchief and handed it to her. “Carey said you were having flashbacks to that life we shared.”
Peggy paused and took a breath. “Arel, it wasn’t like a memory. It felt like I was there again, and I heard you—”
Arel quickly gathered Peggy in his arms. “No matter how real it seemed, it was only a memory. You and I are standing here, in your kitchen, and we’re both fine.”
Peggy pulled back with a scowl. Her fists were tight but her entire body was shaking. “Even if that’s true, it doesn’t help. When I was in that nightmare, I couldn’t wake myself up. I couldn’t escape that place! I was so helpless! It was only because of some miracle
that I’m standing here now. And if the same thing happens again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through it a second time.”
Arel took hold of her arms. “It’s not going to happen again. I promise you.”
“How can you be sure of that?” Peggy demanded in a tone similar to Sara’s.
“There’s someone doing this to you. And I intend to stop him.”
Peggy’s head swung up, and she glared back at him. “Who? Who would do such a terrible thing to another person?”
“Someone who manipulates minds.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He’s like one of those bullies you hated as a child. He preys on people who don’t know how to defend themselves. He enjoys making them suffer. But his power comes from finding another person’s triggers. In your case, it’s the grief and shame you still carry around because of that lifetime. That’s why you have to let go of it.”
“How did you find out what you’re telling me?”
Arel hesitated. Elise wasn’t the only one who wasn’t privy to his background, or how he’d been developing his powers. “I can only tell you I have visions like you. And when William was recently attacked while I was visiting in London—”
“What? William was attacked too? Is he alright?”
“Yes, he’s fine now.”
“Poor William, I’m so sorry to hear he was brutalized too.”
“On the plus side, I learned a lot about the one who’s behind all of this.”
Peggy put her arms around herself and sat down at the kitchen table. “Oh my lord, to think that someone can invade another’s mind is terrifying.”
Arel crouched down in front of her. “I understand, but I know you, Peggy, you’re strong. No matter how scared you were in that nightmare, you can use your strength now. Use it to say ‘no’ to any thought that tells you that you were responsible for my suffering.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Maybe this will help. The one who’s been torturing you and William was with us in that past lifetime. He was the one who turned us over to the inquisitors.”