by S S Bazinet
William let the presence fill him with the wonder and excitement he’d known as a young boy. He turned slightly and saw Carey next to him. “I feel so much more vast and expansive than I’ve ever felt before.”
Carey smiled. “Perhaps you’re recalling how you started out as a soul.”
It was quite the statement, but William intuitively knew it was true. In the case of every soul, including William’s, the Creator had taken a bit of Its energy and endowed it with a sense of individuality. But individuality didn’t mean a soul was totally on its own. No matter what, a soul could always count on the Source that loved it and nurtured its existence.
William gave Carey a questioning look. “If we’re so loved, why don’t we feel it?”
“Souls have gradually drifted away from that love, but it’s always there. And when a soul is reunited with Its Creator, it’s like coming home. There’s complete acceptance of that soul. Even one’s faults, once surrendered, are absorbed back into the light of perfection.
Carey leaned in to William. “Look around you. You’re surrounded by pure potential, a wishing well of sorts. When you were given life, you only had to think about what you wanted and the building blocks of Creation were at your disposal. They were waiting for you to fashion something wondrous.”
“What about now?” William asked. “Do humans still have the ability to create what they want?”
“Yes, but you first have to align with the truth. That means releasing anything you hold in darkness, all the pride and arrogance. There are no exceptions.”
“How do I apply that kernel of wisdom to Col?”
Carey grinned. “Let’s find out.”
William’s awareness instantly shifted back to the enclosure. Again, he witnessed everything as energy. That included the soul known as Col. No matter how Col acted or what he believed, he had been created from pure Divine energy too. The light particles that composed his form looked like a dancing galaxy of stars. Every unit of energy constantly pulsed with the life they’d been given.
Col’s misguided mind might have chosen to ignore the wonder of his soul’s origins, but his Creator hadn’t forgotten anything. And if William allowed himself to see Col with the eyes of the Creator, he knew the truth too.
It was a humbling moment. William could have been lost like Col. After all, he’d entertained his own dark thoughts for many years. Luckily, Arel was there for him. And Arel continued to be vigilant, never letting William slip too far back into the darkness.
William wondered if he could serve in the same capacity. Could he be there for Col?
Carey nudged him knowingly. “Don’t expect too much. Col’s found a way to close himself off from his heart again.”
“Great, so we’re back where we started.”
Col broke into their conversation. “Hey, you two imbeciles! Did you forget me?”
With a sigh, William shut his eyes again. When he opened them this time, the enclosure was solid. Col appeared his usual demented self. “I’m not here to fight with you, Col.”
“Good, because you’ll either join me, or I’ll happily tear you apart!”
“But Col, you said it yourself. We were once brothers—”
Col returned a hateful smile. “You could be God Almighty for all I care.” He beat his chest. “If you oppose me, you’ll regret it.”
“Sorry, but I’ll never join you.”
“Then I’ll stand alone, you ungrateful twit, in my own power! And sooner or later I’ll tear you all apart!”
“Is that all you care about? Destroying everyone?”
“I don’t care if Rolphe puts me to sleep for a million years. When I wake up, I’ll destroy you! Nothing’s going to stand in my way. What do you have to say about that?”
William had a sudden insight into Col’s condition. Perhaps Col was completely insane. If so, he pitied the man. “May the Creator have mercy on you, Col.”
Col twisted up his face and spat on the ground. “Screw the Creator! I don’t believe in that nonsense. And if there is such a being, I’ll tear him apart too.”
William looked at Carey. “Let’s go back. There’s nothing more we can do here.”
Col let out a sneering cackle. “Yes, run away, and while you’re gone, I’ll talk to that Creator you mentioned. I’ll tell him what I told you. I belong to me. And I dare your big, bad Creator to prove me wrong.”
William called out as he willed himself back to his body. “I think you’re making a very big mistake, Col.”
A short moment later, William opened his eyes and looked around Arel’s bedroom. He’d just visited a soul by the name of Col. During that visit, he learned what madness really was.
Madness was Col turning his back on everyone who had ever called him a brother. It was a hatred so deep and complete that Col wanted to destroy anyone who once cared for him. Madness was isolating himself completely and letting his mind make up stories about why he was justified in his campaign to be a lone master of devastation and ruin.
William reflected on Col’s mental state and needed to breathe in a great lungful of air. He was grateful that blame and hate hadn’t completely consumed him. He was thankful that Arel had stopped him from going any further down such a path.
Sixty-Six
AFTER WILLIAM AND Carey vanished from Col’s enclosure, he shook off their interaction, that brief moment when he asked William to join him. When that didn’t happen, Col knew he was better for it. He was his own man. Being connected in any way to another would hold him back.
He needed to use his energy to fortify himself, to regain his fighting strength. But there was more. The jail time he’d endured had cemented his desires. He was more determined than ever to be the master he’d always wanted to be. Like he said to William, no matter how long it took, he’d destroy anyone and anything he wanted.
When he thought about some of the nonsense William had spouted off about the Creator, he spat on the ground again. Was William serious? The stupid jackass didn’t know how ridiculous he sounded.
Col cackled with disgust. “Creator? I’ve been around a long time, and I sure as hell don’t remember meeting any such deity.”
He strode back and forth in his small space with renewed confidence. “Creator indeed,” he laughed as he looked upwards. “If there is a god listening, I’m making you a promise. Nothing you do is going to stop me! I’m free to choose and do whatever I want. It’s my right, isn’t that the deal? Answer me! I dare you to prove me wrong!”
He started to laugh even louder when a brilliant light, brighter than any sun, filled the enclosure. It was an unexpected development, and Col threw up an arm to shield his eyes. But he wasn’t going to be silenced. Taking quick glances, he directed his comments heavenward again. “So you want to play? Is that it?” He spat on the ground with even more amusement. “You turned up the lights. Big deal, I would have thought you could do better.”
A deep belly laugh took hold as Col danced around the little space he’d been allotted. He’d challenged a deity to do its best and what was its big comeback? Light. Bright light to be sure, but who cared? This light didn’t even hurt his eyes. He only closed them out of habit.
However, something did get his attention. He was sure his eyes were shut, but it didn’t help to keep the light out. He threw an arm over his eyes again, muttering. “Transparent eyelids? That’s a joke. What’s your next big trick? Music? Some heavenly choir singing Hallelujah?”
He was still voicing his complaints when he realized the light was shining through his arm. After a quick inspection, it was easy to understand why. His arm wasn’t solid. It was made of energy. Ordered patterns of light and color had taken the place of a fleshier appearance. He laughed again. “Hey, I think you’re trying to impress me with your so-called handiwork.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “But let me enlighten you about seeing energy that makes up stuff, I’m not impressed. What else have you got?”
His answer was immediate. His body started
vibrating. There was a steady hum coursing through it. It started in his chest and spread out to his limbs. He found it mildly satisfying. “Oh I see, you’re trying to get on my good side, right?”
He didn’t wait for an answer this time. He started thinking about William’s parting remark and sneered. “Mercy on my soul, William? Please, this Creator you think is so great is actually a big nothing. It’s come up with a super-sized reading lamp and a nice vibration to soothe my sorry butt. Wow, what’s next?”
He was about to give himself a pat on his energetic back when the vibration in his body sped up. He was surprised. He actually found the sensation quite exhilarating. He clapped his hands. “Yeah, okay, I’ll admit it. I like what you’re doing. And I like that you’re trying to win me over. It’s about time you paid attention to me.”
Obviously the so-called Creator was trying to find a way to satisfy Col’s needs. He chuckled to himself. “I should have made my wishes known to the big twit eons ago.” He smiled broadly until he began to notice the hum had turned into a tremble. “No, that’s too much. Slow it down, now!”
He frowned with concern. Why did his voice sound so strange? It was almost like his words were tinged with a musical tone. He had to put aside that peculiarity when the trembling in his body became more frenzied. It wasn’t pleasant anymore. He looked up, scowling. “I said slow it down, not up, you dullard!”
As he was about to use his fist for emphasis, he paused and stared at his hand. It didn’t look right. He’d seen energetic bodies before, but this was different. The lively particles in his fingers weren’t behaving properly. Their order and structure were getting very erratic. When he checked out his torso, legs and feet, he discovered the same problem.
“Why is everything vibrating faster and faster? What’s going on?”
Before he could say anything more, he began to shake so violently that he had an incredible, horrendous thought. At the rate things were going, he might shake apart.
He had to do something, but what? He’d stopped believing in some Supreme Being long ago. He refused to start now. He tried to focus on his hand again. After careful scrutiny, he knew without a doubt something was definitely wrong. All the minuscule pieces of him were glowing with light. And every one of them was breaking apart.
Millions of tiny bits of himself went flying off and dissolved into the radiance that flooded the enclosure. They were like swarms of fireflies leaving his body and returning to a big bug zapper. Only they didn’t make a terrible frying sound. As each particle returned to the light, there was a melodious note that Col understood. In his closed off heart, he remembered what the sound was. It was a musical expression that people experienced as joy.
Soon the enclosure was filled with a symphony, a constant song of celebration as the particles joyfully returned to the light.
“Wait a minute! Wait! Stop it!” Col yelled trying to get a little volume going, but it didn’t help much. “Damn that Arel! I can’t believe he’s still calling the shots with my voice.”
He began to address the particles that made up his body. “Where in the hell do you think you’re going? You belong to me! Every blasted bit of energy is mine. And it’s going to stay put! Do you hear me?”
He tried to grab hold of himself. He needed to stop the massive exodus that was taking place. Everything that made up what he considered himself was moving towards the light. Soon there would be nothing left. “Oh hell! I’m disappearing!”
With his mind spinning, he couldn’t come up with any way to stop what was happening. His only choice was to reconsider the idea of a Creator. His next thought was incredibly stupefying. Perhaps he didn’t belong to himself. Perhaps all the energy that had gone into the making of his soul belonged to the Creator. Now, that investment was being dismantled and sent back to its original owner.
“Oh my God, don’t do it!” he prayed. He fell to his knees, what there was left of them, and pleaded more fervently. “Please! Please give me another chance! Please! Remember what William said? Have mercy on me!”
As soon as the words were out, the music died away. The fireflies stopped leaving his body. Col collapsed on the ground in relief, but he only had the strength to utter a few words. “That was a close one.”
Whatever force had been reclaiming him had let him go. He lay as motionless as possible, afraid to do or say anything more. As he waited, he felt himself coming back together, particle by particle. He’d lost quite a bit of energy. Becoming whole and complete again took a while. But even when he was pretty sure he was okay, he stayed put. He wasn’t taking any chances.
It was only after the radiant light slowly moved away that he breathed a little easier. When the enclosure looked normal again, he dared to get to his knees and crawl to the bench. He held on to it gratefully. He needed to grasp something solid and tangible with the hands that had been given back to him.
He was still quivering, but his mind was very clear. All his thoughts of being powerful were gone. The only truth remaining was simple. The Source of everything was all powerful, and he belonged to that Source. All his ideas about darkness were like bits of nothing.
Still, what if the Creator had a bad day and decided to reclaim Col’s energy again? He couldn’t let that happen. “Help! I need help!”
Where were those angels that were always pestering him? “Hey, angel people, I want to go to the light!” It wasn’t exactly the truth, and his body seemed to know it. It started vibrating faster again. “Okay, I lied, but I still need help!”
A short, stocky angel in plain white robes slowly appeared in front of him. “Yes, what can I do for you, Col?”
Col stared back. The angel wasn’t as magnificent as Michael, but the angel was still an angel, right? Wrong. This angel didn’t even have wings. Michael didn’t have them either, but Col was sure Michael didn’t need them. This angel was a different matter. Col had never seen such a plain, mediocre example of what his kind was supposed to be. “Where are your wings? The least you can do is show me some wings!” he cried out.
The angel shrugged. “I’m fine, but tell me about your problem? You seem troubled.”
“Troubled? Are you kidding? Your boss nearly had me dismantled out of existence. So do whatever you do to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
The angel smiled. “We do have a place for souls like you.”
Col tightened his grip on the bench. “Hell? Are you taking me to hell?”
“No, I think you’ve been living in hell for far too long already. There’s a place where you’ll be safe.”
Col hesitated and weighed out his options. When he decided they were very, very limited, he extended a shaky hand. “Dammit, I’ll go, but I still wish you had wings. I’d feel better.”
The angel chuckled. “Very well,” he said as he snapped his fingers.
Col jerked back. The nondescript angel suddenly sprouted the biggest pair of wings he’d ever seen. When he recovered from his shock, he nodded. “That’s more like it. Let’s go.”
Sixty-Seven
AREL SAT ON the sofa in the living room. He didn’t know how he should feel about William. If he allowed himself to think about their relationship too much, he’d end up getting upset. He looked at Michael. “I guess William and I will never find a way to really be friends.”
Michael sat in one of the recliners with his hand on a book in his lap. “Why would you think that?”
Arel’s eyes flared with sudden anger. “Why wouldn’t I? When I went to check on him, Carey told me that William had made a trip to see Col. William never said a word about what he was up to. I can only conclude that he doesn’t want me involved.”
“Perhaps he’s trying to work some things out and needs space.”
Arel held up his hands. “Fine, he can do whatever he wants. As soon as this thing with Col is settled, William can go back to London. After that, I’ll never bother him again.”
“What if I find that unacceptable?” a voice called out from the foyer.
Arel looked up and saw William coming into the living room. “Unacceptable, William? What more can I do than promise never to contact you again? Am I supposed to move to another planet?”
William walked over. “Arel, I want to tell you something.”
Arel crossed his arms, trying to remain calm no matter what William told him. “Yes, I’m listening.”
“You’re right about my wanting to end whatever we’ve meant to each other. I even told myself it would be better for you if—”
Arel stood up, trying to face William straight on, trying to do whatever it took to let William go. “I see. Everything that we’ve been through has meant nothing. Well, I have good news for you. I’ve made peace with it all, and it feels good to know we don’t need each other, not as brothers or even friends. Once this thing with Col is wrapped up—”
“It’s done, finished. Col won’t be bothering anyone anymore.”
“What? Since when?”
“After I came back from visiting him, I learned that Col went too far. When he challenged his Creator and was met with a power beyond any he could imagine, he realized he wasn’t as tough as he thought. Carey said Col gave himself up into the care of one of Michael’s friends.”
Arel walked over to where Michael sat. “Michael, are we rid of Col for good?”
Michael smiled. “Yes, Col decided he wants our help.”
The news was so unexpected that Arel had to retreat to the couch again. Slumping down into its soft confines, he needed a moment to digest the idea that he could totally relax, that he didn’t need to constantly be on guard. He finally glanced up at William. “Thank you, Will. Whatever you did—”
“I didn’t do anything except come to my senses. My last visit was an eye opener. I looked at Col and realized that could be me someday.” William paused and smiled. “But you wouldn’t give up, Arel. No matter how much I hated you, you remained some immovable force of nature, determined to get me on the right path.”