“NO!”
His face and voice softened. “Why can’t you believe the same happened to me?”
He was right. I was ready to trust Jake over him. “I’m sorry.”
“Jake just wants to cause a fight between us.” The hand holding my chin caressed my cheek. “I’ve only been with you.” He kissed me and then glanced over his shoulder. “He’s like a bad rash, stay away from him.”
“I feel the same way about Danielle.”
He nodded. “Okay, no more bathroom breaks and we’ll both be safe.”
“Sure, I’ll pee in the pool.”
He laughed and the tension ebbed. “Speaking of, let’s head out there.”
“To the Waves of Death?” I looked out to a large pool filled with people flopping out of their inner tubes, screaming children, bodies slamming onto the shore.
Xander brightened. “Yep. I’ve kept you safe so far haven’t I?”
“Yes.” I took his hand, noticing he left the inner tube by the chairs.
I thought we were going to wade in the shallow water, but we swam to where we couldn’t reach the bottom. With Xander’s arm around me, he did the majority of the work and I was still panting.
He asked, “Tired?” I shook my head and he frowned. “I have you, Abby. Take a break.”
Before I could protest, Xander grabbed my legs and folded them around his waist. We had been skin to skin many times today, but this was different. Pressed against his bare chest and abs in my thin shirt and bikini bottoms, it was impossible not to think of kissing him or touching him. All over. My heart pounded and my stomach did a funny dipping thing. Even in the cool water, my body flashed with heat.
“What’s that look for?” Xander chased my gaze with his.
“Nothing,” I blurted out.
His brows pinched. “No, it’s something.”
I closed my eyes. “If you must know, I was thinking impure thoughts. Okay?” I was a little defensive and a lot embarrassed.
His stomach shook against me and I cracked a lid. His voice turned thick and husky. “If it makes you feel any better, I have them every moment I’m with you and every moment I’m thinking of you. So I have impure thoughts twenty-four hours a day.”
“Really?”
Xander’s eyes widened. “Are you kidding? You have to ask?”
“Well, we haven’t, you know, done much more than kiss.” I shrugged. “I wasn’t sure.”
After a long blink, Xander shook his head. “Abby, the only reasons I haven’t, are your dad scares me and I don’t want to kill you. I think about it. I think about it too much.”
I whispered, “Well, we could you know.”
“What, move to the next stage of our practice?” I gave him a hesitant nod and his head whipped around. “How fast can we get to the car?”
The serious look on his face made me crack up and now we were both laughing.
Xander had an uncanny strength and endurance in the water. His arms and legs barely moved to keep us afloat. When the waves turned on, they were strong, and I figured this would result in another near drowning. Instead, we had fun splashing each other and laughing as our bodies rose up and down in the waves. We were in the water for well over an hour and Xander didn’t tire. He wouldn’t let me go when the waves turned off and I wasn’t complaining.
“Abby, are you ready to get out?”
I hadn’t noticed until now, but the light blue sky was filling with dark clouds. It was possible a late summer monsoon would cut our day short. Half the guests were packing up and leaving.
Breathing hard, I said, “Yeah, if you don’t mind.”
He helped me swim back to the cool deck beach. Xander groaned and muttered something about “creation.” Glancing in the direction he was looking, Danielle was aimed right for us. She looked at Xander like he was dipped in chocolate and put her hand on his arm. My eyes trained on those manicured fingers, appalled by her audacity.
“Hey, hot stuff,” she purred in a sultry voice. Hot stuff? What year was this? 1978?
Xander growled, “Danielle.”
“You should be shirtless at all times.” Her hand trailed up his arm, over his shoulder, and stopped on his chest. Again. “I thought we could go swimming now, like you promised me.”
My stomach bottomed out.
He scoffed and shoved her arm off. “I remember our previous conversation quite differently.”
“Come on, how much fun could you have with an anchor? Poor Abby can’t even swim. Oh, hey, Abby. Nice shirt.” She looked over as if she just realized I was here. “I guess I’d wear a shirt, too, if I couldn’t fill out my A cups either.”
I shrunk behind Xander.
Xander’s body tensed and he squinted at her. “Danielle, you’re drunk and this is pathetic even for you. I told you I was here with Abby and wanted nothing to do with you. And I don’t doubt for a second that you forgot I told you to knock off the catty remarks about my girlfriend.”
That meant she said something earlier about me. Fan-freaking-tastic.
She sneered, “What do you see in her anyway, Xander? She’ll never be normal. She’ll never be like me.”
“Thank Heavens for that,” he spat.
Her face fell and she was a loss for retort. Xander pulled me along, leaving his words to sting in her ears. As he walked with me, I considered her, and it sickened me to admit that she was right. Xander was gorgeous, had a Greek god body; he was smart, funny, charming…and what was I? He spent the day making sure I didn’t die, however he did it, I still didn’t know yet.
The fear crept back in. It was a matter of time before he realized I was too much work. I wasn’t worth all this and I would lose him. Maybe that’s why I knew so little about him. Why invest so much of yourself into someone you don’t intend on being with much longer?
I was an anchor.
My eyes focused down and bit my lip.
Xander groaned. “Oh, you cannot be thinking what I think you are thinking.”
I turned my head away from him with tears brimming and my bottom lip trembled.
He stopped and turned on me, his tone startling. “Get your stuff. We’re going.”
I didn’t question him. This was it. It finally hit him. He just needed someone to say it. I collected my bag and he pulled me out to the parking lot. Xander unlocked the car, helped me in, and threw my bag in the backseat. Standing outside with his back to the door, he grabbed his hair with both hands. It took him a painful minute before getting into the cab, and then spun on me.
“Stop it,” he hissed.
I whispered, “Stop what?”
“Stop believing that I couldn’t want you. Stop believing everyone’s lies. If I wanted someone like Danielle, or hell, some other girl without a heart problem, I would be with her, but I’m not. I chose you! I didn’t call you an anchor, and damn it, I never thought of you that way!”
He stormed out of the car and I sat trembling. He’d never been angry with me like this before. We’d never fought and it seemed like the tension kept rising since this morning. I didn’t know what to do. Should I go to him? Wait for him to cool off and come back? I didn’t know Boyfriend-Girlfriend One-oh-One.
Hopping down, I spotted the black Honda Civic in the parking lot. His siblings must be here. Why didn’t he say anything? I found him five cars away with two white hands clenching the back of his neck. The steps to him were tentative and I tripped a few times. “Please, don’t be angry with me. I’m sorry. I’m just waiting for you to realize the obvious.” My hands quivered when I touched his back.
Turning to me, he grabbed my face. “What’s the obvious?”
“That I’m not worth it.”
He jolted back as if I had slapped him. “What? Abby!” Running his hands through his hair, water sprayed me. “At what point will you get it? I’m here because I want you. All of you. I hate hearing you think you are less than amazing, and the worst thing is, you let Danielle make you feel that way. You don’t know how
special you are, Abby, and you truly don’t get how special you are to me. I would move Heaven for you.” The passion in his words surprised me. With his gaze down, he took my hands in his, brought them up to his lips, and kissed them. “By the way, you’re so tiny I don’t think you could anchor a toy boat.”
“Hey!” He smiled at my reaction. I nodded to the water park. “Do you really want to leave?”
His gaze swept over me without any discretion, and his voice came husky and low. “Yes.”
37
Abby
We made it back to the SUV and Xander texted someone before hopping in. On the way home, we picked up sandwiches for dinner. Instead of taking the turn to my development, Xander veered west toward the White Tank Mountains.
Gentle droplets sprinkled the windshield, and ominous clouds hung over the peaks, tamping down the setting sun’s brilliance. Nearing the mountain, he drove onto an unassuming road. A warning sign read “No Trespassing, Private Road.” Where were we going?
“Did you find another practice spot for us?” I asked.
The corner of his mouth tipped up. “Something like that, but better.”
He continued to drive into and up the mountain as the storm splintered around us. Thunder boomed and the rain came heavier and faster. The red-orange sky mixed with intermittent flashes of lightning, and the wipers chased a continuous sheet of water on the windshield. I was afraid the SUV would lose traction on the slick dirt road. With the care of a stunt car driver, Xander maneuvered turn after turn on the invisible path ahead with me gripping the armrests. I could imagine this was what amusement park rides were like. With one last, sharp right turn, we faced an enormous single-story ranch home. There wasn’t another living soul for miles. I doubted I could find this place again.
Xander turned the engine off. “This is my house.” His look was hesitant, and mine was disbelief.
I had wondered where he lived, what his siblings were like outside of school, and what his dad was like. Once I asked where their mother was and he clammed up. I didn’t ask again. At times, he was so closed off it was hurtful. He kept me on the outside, begging to be shown any part of him. Facing his house, a spark of hope bloomed that I would finally know all his secrets tonight.
His home was farther away than I thought; he wasn’t kidding when he said he didn’t live anywhere near me. Through the waterlogged windows, I saw a closed four-car garage. The front yard was simple but nice with desert landscaping. Whatever his dad sold, he must sell a lot of it to afford a place like this.
Xander held my hand as we sprinted to the front. He unlocked the ornate glass door, guided me in, and left me to grab dry towels.
Windows were everywhere, barren of blinds and curtains, and the last gleam of orange from the sun storm bled into the home. From each window, the mountain stayed in view, wrapping around the house with natural peaks and valleys like battlements of a castle. The interior was inviting and warm with simple but elegant furnishings of grays and whites.
Xander wrapped a soft towel around me and showed me the rest of the house. Plush gray couches in the front sitting room surrounded a stone fireplace. Deeper within was the family room with two more of the same couches and a mammoth flat-screen television.
The room opened to the kitchen that was straight out of a magazine, a chef’s kitchen. Racks of silver hung above an island; each sized pot and pan dangled over a butcher block. The appliances were state of the art, stainless steel. Dark ebony wood cabinets—that I couldn’t reach without a step stool—lined the walls. Margaret would love this kitchen.
He put our dinner on the marbleized gray granite counter. The windows extended to every room, and from the kitchen, I could see the backyard from all angles.
Off the kitchen, a hallway led into the dining room. A rustic wood table seating eight was planted in the middle with modern art on the walls. He led me down the hall and the bedroom doors were open. He didn’t take me into them, but as we passed, I saw each had a large bay window with the view of their mountain. Each room had its own bathroom. Four rooms with one bed in each. That didn’t add up—there should be five of them. Where did their dad sleep when he was home?
Through the house, I noticed there weren’t any family pictures, which I thought was odd, but maybe they hadn’t unpacked everything yet, or they were the type to keep them in their bedrooms.
Xander guided me to the last door at the end of the hall. Stepping inside, he said, “This is my room.”
I was in awe. The wood of his bedroom furniture and desk were distressed and dark. The fabric of his bed and curtains were satin gray with light gray walls. The walls were bare, but the room somehow was warm and cozy. A large bay window sat opposite his bed; the blinds were drawn up and curtains were pulled back to view the setting sun over the mountain peak.
“I have the smallest bathroom, but I have the best view. I like to watch the sunset from my bed. It’s my third favorite thing to look at.”
I asked, “What’s second and first?”
“The sunrise is a distant second to you.”
Blushing, I turned. This wasn’t like my room, which was clean, but I still had mementos and pictures littered on my nightstand, dresser, and desk. He only had a laptop and lamp on his desk, and there was something oblong and brown on his dresser—the football from the night we met. I picked it up. “I wondered what happened to it.”
He tilted his head with a shy smile. “You left it at the party. Beth put it down. It reminded me of you and I wanted to keep it.”
I returned it to the dresser with a shake of my head. “This whole time?”
He nodded. “Abby, I’ve imagined you in here many times. This is a little surreal for me.”
“What were we doing?”
Grinning, his cheeks flushed. “Practicing.” I couldn’t help but feel giddy over his admission that he thought of us in here…like that.
If this was the smallest bathroom, I wondered what the other bathrooms were like. Gray granite lined the sink with brushed nickel hardware and more of the same dark wood cabinets. There wasn’t a tub, but the shower was large enough for five people. Tiled granite made up the shower walls and it was enclosed by frameless glass etched with a detailed desert theme. With the exception of the water closet, the entire wall of the bathroom was window, completely exposing.
Back in the kitchen, we ate our sandwiches. Xander glanced over with a smile playing on his lips as if he had a secret he couldn’t wait to tell me.
I excused myself to his bathroom; luckily, I had the forethought to bring a toothbrush and hairbrush. Being here was surreal for me, too. I wondered where his family was. And why did he keep his house a secret until today?
Country music turned on from somewhere. Looking up, I noticed speakers in the ceiling placed throughout the house.
The rain had stopped and the sun set for the day. Walking down the hall, the lights were off and the house was dark except for a soft glow in the kitchen. I called Xander’s name.
“Out here.”
Stepping out of the glass door into the backyard, I saw him by the pool looking to the water, lost in thought. I crossed a patio covered in travertine, and onto the grass that was cold and wet under my feet. The hot night air was thick with moisture and smelled of fresh rain and earth.
On the patio was dark wicker and red cushioned furniture encircling a stone fire pit. Red, yellow, and orange flames licked the fire glass, and above it was an awning strung with twinkle lights.
The side yard had a volleyball net over a pit that looked well used with large divots in the sand. Along the stone wall was a full outdoor kitchen and another seating area covered by a matching awning. Placed around the yard in gravel were tall palm trees and beautiful flowers of bright reds, pinks, purples, and yellows. The rectangular pool, the color of midnight, was deep with a diving board, reflecting the few stars peeking through broken clouds.
Xander took out his cell and I watched him set the alarm. He put it down on a tab
le and I giggled at him. “What? Hey, you laugh now, but if I brought you home late, we might not be able to do this for a while.”
The thought sobered me. I doubted my parents would forbid me to see Xander, but I didn’t want to break their rules and disappoint them. “Where’s your family?”
He looked thoughtful. “My dad’s away, of course. And” —his fingers trailed down my arm to my right hand— “my brother and sisters are giving us space.” He kissed my palm and smiled. “Dance with me.”
Xander didn’t wait for my answer and he didn’t need to. Wrapping my hands around his neck, he pulled me against him. Space didn’t exist between us; we were two bodies yearning to fit together. After one slow song, my feet left the ground and he took us to the couch by the fire.
Sinking into the cushion, he kissed me, his tongue tracing and exploring as if committing me to memory. Dipping his head, his mouth went to my throat, leaving a trail of kisses behind and I craned for more. His lips grazed my collarbone; for a moment, I thought he would take it further, but his mouth returned to mine and I fought the swell of disappointment. We stayed that way as time drifted into the unknown.
My hands wandered into his hair, playing with the cropped strands that tumbled over my fingers. The next thing I knew, I was in his lap, straddling him. This was intimate like the wave pool, only the thin fabric of our bathing suits between us. Tugging me closer, I gasped, feeling him, his response to my kiss, my body, to me. I liked knowing that I could do that to him, feeling his physical need for me. A layer of him was exposed and I finally saw him unguarded, as he trusted me with a piece of himself.
Xander’s strong arms cinched around me and held me to his hard frame. His lips were an intoxicating drug I couldn’t get enough of; our tongues slid along each other like warm velvet. A burst of heat deep inside my belly pooled and escaped to the rest of me. My breaths came faster and my heart beat erratically.
He skimmed my skin from the soft pads of my feet, along the length of my legs, gentle enough to tickle. Two large hands snuck under my shirt, and soft fingers drew along my spine. Itching for more of him, I pulled his shirt up to touch his ripped stomach and my fingers strummed along the etchings of muscles under smooth, firm skin. Xander broke our kiss long enough to yank his shirt off as though it was an unwelcome barrier between us.
To Fall (The To Fall Trilogy Book 1) Page 23