She was falling in love with him.
Maybe the best way to scare Dean away was to tell him part of the truth. "I can't possibly be involved with a man who carries a gun. You know how I feel about them."
"You knew before last night that I have a gun. You didn't exactly push me out the door. Besides," he said quickly when she started to argue, "someday, somehow, you're going to have to realize that it's not guns you need to be afraid of. A gun in the wrong hands is a dangerous thing, but it's the hands you should fear, not the weapon."
She did fear the hands. Not Dean's hands, though. Never Dean's hands. "It's more than that," she said softly. "There are things about me you don't know."
"So tell me," he said.
Dean's answer to her problem was so simple, so straightforward. The words would stick in her throat if she tried to confess, wouldn't they?
"I'll think about it."
* * *
They ate lunch at the picnic table nearest the playground—Cooper's choice. Tewanda's youngest, Cooper's best friend Terrance, joined them, declaring that Cooper's picnic lunch looked much more appetizing than his own.
Dean had removed his jacket and loosened his tie in deference to the heat. Reva looked fresh and cool in her lightweight blue dress. Like the others she owned, it had a hemline well below the knee. Her shoes were flat and comfortable, and her hair had been pulled back into a thick ponytail that caught the sun and turned to honey.
She didn't say much as the meal progressed. The conversation was primarily about plans for the fort Dean now had to build in the church playground. Terrance and Cooper each had very specific ideas for the structure. If Dean gave them everything they wanted, the fort would be bigger than the church.
Eventually the boys asked to be excused. The playground and their other friends were waiting.
When they were alone at last, Dean turned to Reva. She sat beside him on the concrete bench, but had managed to place herself on the far end. If she scooted away from him any farther, she'd fall to the ground.
"Okay," he said in a low voice. "Talk to me."
She watched Cooper for a moment, then turned to stare at him. Had she been gathering strength since she'd sat down? It looked that way. "You've never asked me about Cooper's father."
He wanted to tell her it was none of his business, but he couldn't. She didn't know it yet, but Eddie Pinchon was very much Dean's business. "I figured you would tell me about him if you wanted to."
"You shouldn't have stayed here this long," Reva said in an accusing voice. "You should be gone by now!"
"You're right," he answered.
She sighed and turned her head so she could watch Cooper play. Or so she wouldn't have to look at him. "There hasn't been another man in my life since Cooper was born. Not until you came along."
Dean's gut churned. "The kid's six years old!"
She smiled gently, but didn't turn to look at him. "It didn't seem like such a long time. With work and trying to be a good mother, there really wasn't time for anything else. Besides…"
Finally she turned her head to look at him again. "The only thing that matters to me is giving my son the kind of life I never had. He won't ever go hungry. No one will tell him he's so stupid his life is not worth living. People won't laugh at him, turn up their noses…" Her eyes shone bright and she paled. "People won't point and whisper when he walks down the halls at school."
The twist in Dean's stomach turned to white-hot anger for grievances long past. "From everything I've seen, you're giving Cooper a great life. The best."
"If people find out who I used to be, who Cooper's father is, his life won't be so great. I can't afford to bring a man into my life for anything more than … what we had last night. I'm not going to tell you my secrets, Dean, and I can't get more involved with you and go on with lies between us. Where does that leave me?"
"I have a few secrets of my own," Dean confessed.
"Not like this," she whispered. "I swear, if I had known when I—" She stopped abruptly, drew away and lifted her chin. "I thought it would be okay to sleep with you and then watch you walk away. It's all I can have. I didn't know it would be so hard."
Dean leaned forward. Reva had nowhere to go, unless she wanted to jump up or fall off the bench. "You can trust me to keep your secrets, and there's nothing you can tell me that will make me feel differently about you or Cooper. The past is past. It doesn't matter nearly as much as you've convinced yourself it does."
She shook her head. "I can't…"
He kissed her, lightly, briefly. Prying eyes were no doubt watching, but he didn't care. Maybe she didn't, either, since she kissed him back.
When he took his mouth from hers she whispered. "Please tell me again you're not going to stay here."
"I can't stay," he said.
Reva sighed in obvious relief.
* * *
She hadn't expected this complication, but she should have. Dean had to go; she couldn't have a lasting relationship with him … but watching him go was going to hurt like hell.
Dean carried Cooper on his shoulders as they walked home, and her son provided the conversation. Dean had made the mistake of suggesting that Cooper spend a nice quiet afternoon, maybe reading a book.
Cooper was telling Dean all about his favorite book, Elton the Elephant Goes to Town.
"And then Elton went into a candy store, but he was too big and the gumballs spilled all over the floor, and then he went to the toy store to buy a game, but the aisles were too small, and then…" Cooper continued, almost breathless. There were a number of and thens still to go.
Dean listened, commenting here and there on Elton's adventures. Occasionally he glanced at Reva, and when he did she felt that gaze to her bones. A man's eyes on her shouldn't make her shiver. It shouldn't make her want what she couldn't have.
"At the end," Cooper continued, "Elton decided to go back to the circus and … and do you know what happened next?"
"No," Dean said.
"Oh," Cooper said, deflated. "I was hoping maybe you knew what happened at the end. I forgot! Didn't you read Elton the Elephant Goes to Town when you were a kid?"
"Nope. Sorry."
"Now I have to find my book and see how it ends!"
When they reached the grassy yard and turned toward home, Dean swung Cooper down and placed him on his feet. Cooper ran toward the cottage and Elton, and Dean stared at Reva.
"Thanks for lunch," he said.
"Don't thank me. You paid way too much for it."
"It was worth every penny." He sounded and looked completely serious.
He nodded toward the restaurant. "I meant to tell you earlier, you need to talk to your employees about locking up at night. This morning I found that window wide open."
Reva's heart sank. Great. Something else to worry about. "You don't think whoever broke in last week came back, do you?"
"I don't know. I climbed in through the window and walked around. Didn't see anything out of place."
"I'll talk to Tewanda in the morning. If she's sure the window was closed when she left, I might have to see about having a security system installed."
"Good idea."
"Good and expensive!" Reva exclaimed. She sighed.
"Oh well, if I have no choice, I have no choice." She looked Dean up and down. Like it or not, wise or not, he got to her in a way no other man ever had. Was she willing to risk everything, including Cooper, to keep him?
No. She could risk her own life and reputation, and she would. But she wouldn't risk Cooper's.
"Speaking of money, what are you going to do now that you've spent all your cash on lunch?"
He smiled, that half smile that grabbed her gut and wouldn't let go. "The downtown bank has an ATM. I'll hit it in the morning and get some cash."
"I would hate for you to be destitute because you felt the need to make a spectacle of yourself."
"You're much too concerned with spectacle making," he teased.
"Pay
day is Friday. If you'd like, I can write you a check early."
His smile faded. "For what?"
"Yard work, hanging wallpaper, fixing my sink, painting. The list goes on and on."
"You don't have to actually pay me," he said, sounding almost horrified.
"Of course I do."
He shook his head. Did he think that because they'd slept together she wouldn't pay him for his work?
"You'll get a check on Friday like everyone else," she said.
"I don't want—"
"You'll get a check."
Dean crossed his arms. "You're stubborn."
"You do work for me, you know."
"Yes, ma'am."
Reva shook her head and turned to walk away. Talk about stubborn!
"Aren't you going to ask me over for supper?"
She spun around. "Hungry already?"
"No."
She knew what he wanted, how he felt. Dean was hanging on with everything he had, trying to make the best of what little time they had left. Maybe she should do the same. "Six o'clock," she said. "We're having leftovers."
"I love leftovers," he said without cracking a smile.
Reva headed for her cottage. She knew he watched her all the way, but she didn't so much as turn her head to check.
* * *
Last night it had been just him and Reva. Tonight, with Cooper added to the mix, dinnertime had a family feel to it. Family. True, Dean had a family—in brothers and a sister, in-laws and nephews and one very spoiled niece.
But this was different. So different it scared him more than a little. There was a sense of belonging here, a warmth he had never experienced before. Reva and Cooper laughed a lot. They laughed at silly jokes, at each other … at him. Anything was fair game. Cooper found the book, and the fate of Elton the Elephant was at last resolved. He had to show Dean his other favorite books as Reva cleared the kitchen table.
The phone rang shortly after Reva joined them in the parlor. She reached for the portable phone on the coffee table, managing to snag the receiver just before Cooper got his hands on it. Again they laughed, as if racing for the phone was an everyday occurrence.
Reva was smiling when she answered the phone, but her smile didn't last long. It faded quickly as she listened to the caller. Dean sat up, instantly on alert. Was it Eddie? Had he found her? If Pinchon thought he could come here and take up where he'd left off seven years ago, he didn't know how Reva had changed.
And he didn't know he'd have to go through Dean to get to her.
She ended the call and placed the phone on the coffee table. "Cooper," she said calmly, "go put your books away and get ready for bed."
"But, Mom," Cooper pleaded, "I still haven't shown Dean my really favorite book!"
In a matter of days he'd gone from Mr. Sinclair to Mr. Dean to just Dean.
"Now," Reva said. Even Cooper recognized there was no room for argument, not tonight.
Dean said good-night to the kid, got an unexpected and hearty hug, and then waited until Cooper was well down the hallway before asking, "Who was on the phone?"
"Tewanda," Reva answered tersely.
A wave of relief rushed through him. "What's wrong?"
She stared at him and sighed. "I should have known it would happen."
"What happened?"
"It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but…" She shook her head. "How could I have been so stupid?"
Frustrated, Dean rose to his feet. "Dammit, Reva, are you going to tell me what's upset you?"
She looked him in the eye. "Someone saw you climbing in Cooper's window last night. Or climbing out at four in the morning, not that it matters. By morning, everybody in town will know that you spent the night here."
* * *
Chapter 15
« ^ »
"No one could've seen me," Dean insisted. "That window is shielded by trees on all sides. There's no way…" He went still. Reva could almost see the wheels in his brain turning. "Who started the rumor?"
"I don't know," Reva snapped. "Does it matter?"
"Yes," Dean said, "it does. The only way to have a clear view of that window is to be standing on the side of the big house where I found that open window. Whoever saw me is the person who's been breaking into your restaurant."
"Do you think so?"
"Has to be."
Reva wasn't as convinced as Dean, but she called Tewanda and asked who she'd heard the rumor from. Tewanda, who again teased her about getting caught as if the infraction meant nothing, gladly divulged the name.
Two more uncomfortable phone calls—complete with nervous laughter and a heart pounding so hard she could feel it pounding in her chest—and Reva knew where and how the rumor had started.
She shared the information with Dean, who smiled and nodded as if it all made sense to him. It certainly made no sense to her. He promised to take care of the problem in the morning, not at all concerned about the gossip that was going to run rampant no matter what they did.
In fact, he wrapped his arms around her as if nothing had gone wrong.
"How can you be so calm?" she asked, feeling anything but calm.
"So a few people in town know I spent the night here. Is it really that big a deal?" He stroked one large hand up and down her back. "We're all grown up, Reva. What we do behind closed doors is no one's business but ours."
"I know that, but—"
"You deserve a life," he interrupted. "A complete and full life of your own, beyond being supermom."
A part of her wanted to believe him. Maybe Dean was right. What had happened between them, what still might happen, was no one else's business. It didn't concern anyone but the two of them.
She'd tried to be perfect for so long, doing her best to make up for earlier mistakes, that she had lost a part of herself along the way. Had she unnecessarily robbed herself of a chance at love?
Dean leaned down and kissed her neck, very gently, too briefly. That simple touch was enough to send her insides whirling.
"Next time I spend the night," he whispered against her neck, his breath warm and arousing, "I'm coming and going by way of the front door."
She should tell him that there wouldn't be a next time. Instead, she said, "Then you can do your happy dance all the way home and everyone in town will know what happened."
"I don't have a happy dance," he said solemnly.
Reva found herself smiling up at him, suddenly much less worried about the new rumors. "Cooper can teach you his."
Dean's eyebrows shot up. "I have seen that dance, and trust me, you will never catch me doing anything like that no matter how happy I might be."
She leaned against him. He was warm and solid, and she belonged here. For now. "Are you?" she whispered. "Happy?"
He hesitated, and his face took on that unreadable expression she had come to expect, on occasion, with shuttered eyes and a firm jaw. But when he finally answered, he said, "Yes."
* * *
The news that Eddie Pinchon hadn't been seen for a couple of days sent chills up Dean's spine. The escaped convict could be on his way to Somerset. He could already be here.
Dean packed a bag of necessities, after ending the call with Alan. Reva didn't want him too close, but what choice did he have? He would either stay with her or sleep in a room in the big house where he could watch the cottage from a window. This rented room was no longer adequate.
He should have told her the truth days ago, but no matter how he phrased it, the confession would come out, he knew, sounding very, very bad. At the moment it was more important that he stay close than it was to be totally honest with Reva. When this was all over, he'd explain. If she let him.
He put his pistol in the duffel bag with a change of clothes and an extra clip. He'd prefer to wear the pistol, but he knew that would spook Reva. One of these days they were going to have to work on that. In Eddie's hand, a weapon could very well be evil. In the right hand, a gun was just a tool. Since it was one of the
tools of Dean's trade, he couldn't very well spend the rest of his life hiding it from Reva.
The rest of his life? Where had that come from? In truth, it didn't matter if Reva remained frightened of guns or not. He wouldn't be around long enough to cure her of that fear or any other.
Soft, quick footsteps sounded on the stairs and a moment later the door to Dean's apartment flew open. No knock, no call of his name. Reva stood there, much as he had left her. But her eyes shone bright and her face flushed too pink.
Cooper.
"What's wrong?"
Dean realized what had brought Reva here the minute he saw the sheriff climbing the stairs behind her, his ascent much slower and steadier than Reva's had been.
"Is it true?" she whispered breathlessly.
"I don't know what he told you."
"Only that you came here to spy on me," she cocked her head and studied him as if they'd never met, as if he was a monster who'd just sprouted a second head. She couldn't have looked more pained if he'd slapped her. "Is it true?"
"Reva," Dean began calmly, "I can explain."
She laughed at his pathetic plea, running one shaking hand through her hair. "I deserve a prize or something. I have the worst luck with men. The absolute worst." She stepped into the room, her usually soft, brown eyes pinned on him with blatant accusation and anger. The sheriff walked in behind her, calm as you please.
"What did you expect to find?" she asked in a low voice. "I hope I haven't disappointed you. My life is pretty boring. Of course, you did what you could to spice it up, didn't you."
Dean glared at the sheriff. "What did you tell her?"
"I didn't get far before she ran out on me," Ben Andrews said. At least he had the decency to look contrite. "I didn't want to upset her, but after I heard … I couldn't just sit back and let you lie to her that way."
"Get out," Dean ordered.
ON DEAN'S WATCH Page 16