Zander’s thoughts were on this exchange when he saw Henry slip away from the rest of the men and head towards the long glen. He must walk many miles on moonlight nights, he thought, composing his verses and studying the night sky. He had absorbed Father Oliver’s knowledge like a thirsty sponge soaks up water.
‘I think your mind is not with Anna and I this night,’ Walter teased as Zander bid them good-night.
‘My wishes for your happiness are sincere,’ Zander protested.
‘We know that, dear friend. Now go, follow your own heart, and be happy too.’
Dare he take Walter’s advice? Would Isabella reject him, however much Henry approved? He loved her already but how would he tear himself away from her?’
***
Isabella climbed the four flights of stairs to her solitary bedchamber. No one else had retired yet. Many revelers were still occupying the communal living area on the second floor and the kitchens below. It was not every day they enjoyed the wedding of the Clan Chief’s only daughter. She did not feel like joining the celebrations any longer. She was going to miss Anna badly. She undressed and climbed into bed. Automatically she pulled the long pillow down the centre so that Henry would not disturb her when he came to bed – if he came at all tonight. It was a crisp spring evening and the moon was bright. She knew his father’s threats had upset him badly but she hoped he would not do anything desperate. Maybe he would be soothed by his moonlight wanderings. She was happy for Anna and Walter in their joyful union but she couldn’t help the feeling of sadness which threatened to overwhelm her. She longed to see her mother again, to be able to chat with Jamie, laugh with Marjorie and cuddle her two young sisters. Would they have grown in the months she had been away? Tears sprang to her eyes and she let them trickle down her cheeks and onto her pillow unheeded.
She was startled by the faint click of the oak panel. She watched as it slid smoothly open. Surely it was too early for Henry to return and why had he not come by the staircase? She gasped when she saw it was Zander who had squeezed his way through the narrow passage.
‘Oh Isabella,’ he said softly, ‘are they tears I see?’ They were not the words of explanation he had meant to say. His heart filled with tenderness. ‘Are you feeling as sad as I am tonight?’
‘Are you sad because Walter has taken Anna for his wife?’ Isabella asked.
‘I am happy for them,’ he said, ‘but marriage changes men. Their first loyalty must be to their wife.’
‘Must it?’ Isabella asked. ‘Henry was very upset. I doubt if I shall see him again tonight.’ Zander came forward then and sat on the side of the bed.
‘Good gracious what is this?’ he asked tugging at the bolster pillow.
‘Henry does not like me to –to touch him while he sleeps.’
‘My goodness. Things are even worse than I thought. No wonder you feel so alone and sad.’ He sounded angry and irritated with his cousin. He took her hand in both of his and stroked it.
‘Henry has pleaded with me to help him but there is only one thing which will satisfy his father, and that is if you give him a grandchild.’
‘It would please me too,’ Isabella said forlornly. ‘I think Henry knows I would like a baby of my own to love, but he does not talk of such matters.’
‘He should have been allowed to follow his heart and become a monk. He wants me to give you a baby, but he wants my uncle to believe the child is his so that it bears the Douglas name. That means everything to Henry’s father. Even if you agree I confess I shall find it hard for my child to belong to another man.’
‘I am beginning to understand why Sir William insisted I should be married to Henry, even though he did not know me, or want to be married.’
‘We all know you have courage and a brave heart, dearest Isabella. He wants such qualities in his grandchildren.’
‘But he knew Henry did not want to marry anyone?’
‘Yes, he knew.’ Zander leaned forward and kissed her cheek. ‘Would you mind very much Isabella if the child was mine instead of Henry’s?’ Zander asked carefully. He had to be sure she understood. She looked up at him. Her colour rose.
‘You know I would like that,’ she said in a low voice. ‘It would be very special and I would love it very much. But we made our vows before the priest?’
‘Henry is more religious than most people, yet he wants this. I would never betray him if I believed otherwise, even though I envy him and want to take you for my own.’
‘I see.’ Isabella frowned, considering. ‘I long for a child to love. Surely that cannot be so very wicked and Henry does not wish to be a father.’
‘I grow to love you more every day, Isabella. It is the reason I went away. I envied Henry and I could not bear the thought of him lying here with you. It would be my greatest pleasure on earth to give you a baby, yet I ask myself how shall I feel when I see my child learning to walk, laughing and loving and learning to talk – calling Henry “Father”, instead of me. This would always have to be our secret. I can never claim your child as my own. I curse my uncle for forcing you to marry Henry. I knew from the day I saw you, riding forward with Sam, brave and proud, offering your own life for your brother’s. I wanted you then and I want you now.’
‘I think I understand,’ Isabella said slowly. ‘I would know the truth, and so would Henry. Maybe one day our child could know too - as you know your father.’
‘It could never be spoken of. Sir William knows he is my father but he has never called me his son,’ Zander said. ‘It would be the same for me. No one must know our secret, Isabella, not even Anna,’ he warned. As he talked he was absently stroking her cheek and the soft skin of her neck.
‘Oh Zander,’ Isabella turned towards him, stretching out her warm, white arms. ‘I shall never tell anyone but I shall always know in my heart that my child is your child too, and it will make me very happy.’
‘So you promise me you are doing this because it is what we both want? You are not agreeing only to save Henry from his father’s anger?’
‘I do not want Henry to suffer. I think you do not want that either. But I want you to teach me how a man and woman can learn to love…’ Isabella whispered diffidently. Zander loved the colour which came and went in her cheeks. ‘Anna knows so many things from listening to the women talk but my own mother sheltered us from gossip. I know so little…’ Zander felt his desire rise at the sight of her breasts rising and falling in agitation, or was it excitement?
‘I am glad, so very glad you will be mine this night, and many more nights, my dearest Isabella. I think Henry means it when he says he will take his own life before he will submit to humiliation.’ He flung the bolster pillow onto the floor and drew off his boots. Isabella watched and her heart beat faster as he cast off his garments. She had seen her brother Jamie naked when they were children but she had never seen a naked man before. She gasped and her eyes grew round when Zander turned to face her, but she lifted the bed quilt to welcome him in beside her, to share her warmth and all she had to give. Zander heard her gasp and he saw her astonishment at the sight of him, already hard with desire, but he had to ask. ‘Did Henry hurt you on the night of your wedding, Isabella?’
‘Hurt me?’ By the light of the moon from the open window he saw she was puzzled. ‘How could he? Henry never touches me, not even when the wolves frightened me and I longed for his comfort.’
‘I see,’ Zander said. His uncle had been so sure, so jubilant, believing Henry had consummated his marriage to Isabella the night they were married, and he had been so downcast he had gone away. He would not question Isabella. He guessed Lizzie had devised a plan to deceive his uncle and protect Henry. We all protect him, he thought, but his heart sang. Isabella was still as pure as the day she married. He was no virgin but he had never yearned for any woman as he did for Isabella; he had never known a girl so sweet and innocent, or who filled his heart with love.
He leaned over her and kissed her lips gently while his hands moulded
her soft breasts. He felt her instant response and her breathing quickened. He strove to be patient and gentle but Isabella longed to be loved in every possible way and she gave herself to him without restraint, urging him on until they rose together in true fulfilment. Much later, as he cradled Isabella close to his heart, Zander knew he would never wish for any other woman. Isabella had given generously and with all her heart and soul and he was both humbled and exhilarated. They fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Silently Henry slid back the oak panel. He had always kept it oiled and smooth. Now he was thankful Zander did not hear him. He crept away. Dear Zander, he had never let him down when he really needed help he thought gratefully. He felt only relief and joy at the sight of his wife lying in another man’s arms. They looked peaceful and content together and Henry gave thanks to whatever gods protected him. He knew of many places where he could sleep for the remainder of the night.
It was dawn when Zander wakened and stirred. Isabella smiled up at him sleepily as she cuddled closer, reluctant to part from the warmth of his body.
‘I must go soon,’ he whispered, ‘before Henry returns and the household stirs.’
‘Will you – will you come another night?’ Isabella asked wistfully
‘I shall come whenever the moon is full and I see Henry setting out on his wanderings, Isabella. There will be a few more nights, then it will seem like a lifetime until the next full moon when we can be together again.’ He sighed. ‘We must never allow anyone to guess we are lovers,’ he added anxiously. ‘If Sir William discovered us he would hang both of us, or whip us and banish us without food or money, or even a horse. I saw him inflict such a punishment when one of his men betrayed his trust. He would consider this a worse crime.’ His arms tightened around her as though to protect her and she curried into him, instantly arousing his desire. Words and warnings were forgotten in the rising crescendo of their passion.
Afterwards Zander dressed swiftly and bent to touch his lips to hers once more.
‘I shall come to you tonight, my dearest, Isabella.’ He smiled tenderly then his eyes gleamed with challenging amusement in the dawn light. ‘And tonight I shall not be the only one who will be as naked as the day we were born.’ In spite of their passionate loving Zander was delighted by the blush which mounted Isabella’s fair skin. He crept away, his heart singing.
Zander found it difficult to hide his inner joy and decided it would be wiser if he kept away from those who knew him well, especially his uncle. He did his best to assume a glum expression when they met at the table.
‘I see many of the men must have celebrated too long and too well last night,’ he remarked. ‘Walter will not make an appearance before tomorrow so I shall ride to the end of the Long Glen myself and check the numbers of our cattle and sheep.’
‘Very well, but take someone with you. Two nights ago the men in the watch tower saw a small band of strangers riding along the eastern boundary. You’re a good man Zander. You will miss Walter’s company now he has a wife to please. It’s time you took a wife yourself.’
‘I’ll think about it. I will take Thomas with me. He has sheep of his own running with ours high on the mountain. We may be gone all day.’ William Douglas nodded. There were few women in the barony to satisfy Zander’s passionate spirit.
He noticed when Henry and Isabella appeared at the table together. It was unusual. He was a man experienced with both men and women and he was sure his new daughter had that look in her eyes of a woman who was loved. Henry too looked more relaxed and happier than he had been for months. Perhaps Anna’s wedding celebrations had infected them with a spirit of love too. It had been a good day and Anna had made a happy and beautiful bride. She had known Walter all her life and she was sure of his love. It took time for a man and woman to get used to each other, he conceded, and he had rushed Henry and Isabella into marriage before they had even become acquainted. Today, as he watched them discussing plans for Isabella’s garden, he was convinced he had been right to make this match for Henry, even if he had been brutal in his methods. They shared several interests in books and writing. Now they were discussing their plants and medicinal herbs. William knew Isabella was from a loving home and he had given her little choice but to become a wife when life was sweet.
Six
Isabella and Zander began to pay more attention to the phases of the moon, willing the silver sickle of the first quarter to move on, then the new moon, followed by the sickle of the last quarter facing the opposite direction. Isabella remembered her father studying the moon but he had watched it for signs of the weather while she watched its changing faces longing for the bright silver light of the full moon and Zander’s visits to her bed.
The weeks passed. Every man, woman and child helped to cut and gather in hay for the winter. The better the crop which could be gathered the more animals they would be able to keep through the winter. Isabella enjoyed these days when she and Anna worked side by side again, exchanging news and giggling together over shared stories but Isabella’s energy began to flag by the end of the second week. This was unusual because she had helped at the hay for as long as she could remember when she was at Braidlands. Fortunately there was time to rest and regain her energy before the harvest of wheat and oats started at the beginning of September. This was even more important than the hay. A good wheat crop meant grain for bread. It had to last all year until the next harvest. They needed dry weather to cultivate the soil and sow the precious seed and rain to make the crops grow, then more sunshine to ripen the grain again. So the cycle went on. Everyone prayed there would be no wars or rampaging reivers to fire the crops when they were almost ready for gathering.
Teams of men sharpened their sickles and cut down the corn. The women followed gathering bundles and binding them into sheaves while other women and children stood them in groups of eight or ten to make a stook so the straw and the ears of grain were lifted off the ground and could dry. The oats were cut earlier but they needed to stand longer for the grain to harden. The older women who worked in the kitchens brought out flagons of ale and oat bannocks with cheese or butter if there was plenty. The youngest children drank milk from the cows. It was during one of these breaks that Anna drew Isabella aside.
‘Are you all right, Anna? You look very pale,’ Isabella remarked with concern. ‘Is the sun too warm for you?’
‘I shall be fine when I have eaten and rested a wee while. I have been sick for six mornings in a row and my courses are two weeks late.’ She seized Isabella’s arm and squeezed it. ‘I think Walter has given me a baby, Isabella!’ Her blue eyes were shining with happiness.
‘A baby? B-but how do you know?’
‘Lizzie says many women are sick when the baby begins. She says my mother was very sick before Henry was born, but not before I was born. Anyway you know I am the same as you, the monthly pest is never late. When Isabella first arrived at Moyenstane, expecting her life to end, she had come without spare clothes or provisions of any kind. Anna had showed her where to find rags to use for what she called the monthly pest. Since then both girls had referred to the monthly cycle as “the pest”. She grinned at Isabella. ‘It is two full weeks late.’
‘I don’t understand.’ Isabella frowned. ‘When I was twelve I told my mother I didn’t like it. She said it was part of being a women. If we didn’t have it we would not have babies.’
‘It is true, I think, but the bleeding does not come while a woman is making a baby.’
‘Are you sure, Anna? I have only had the pest once since your wedding.’ Anna stared at her.
‘You must be making a baby too, then. But I never really thought Henry… Surely it must be a baby, Isabella if you have missed for - for how long?’ Isabella considered carefully.
‘The last was two weeks after your wedding.’ She remembered because she hoped it would never happen when it was a full moon. She felt her prayers had been answered because it had not come at all.
‘That’s more th
an three months ago! Have you been sick?’
‘No. I’m never ill. I was tired during the hay gathering, but I’m fine now.’
‘I don’t think the sickness affects all women,’ Anna said thoughtfully. ‘We must ask Lizzie. She did say I should notice the monthly pest. Didn’t your mama tell you about these things?’
‘No, but she didn’t know I should be married, or that I would live so far away. There’s so many things I long to tell her, and ask her.’
‘Do you feel any different?’
‘Not really.’ She couldn’t tell Anna about the bubble of joy inside her, or the reason. ‘I have missed you though, dear Anna,’ she added quickly. She could not tell Anna her happiness was due to Zander’s tender loving and the way he made her feel. Anna was looking at her carefully now. She reached out and laid a hand on Isabella’s stomach.
‘Perhaps you are a little fatter? You had such a small waist.’
‘My dresses are a little tighter but we eat so much when we’re working in the fields. I don’t tie the laces so tightly. It’s more comfortable for bending to work.’
‘I think it must be a baby,’ Anna said excitedly. ‘Shall we go and tell…?’
‘No! No Anna, please don’t tell anyone yet.’ Isabella’s face had lost some of its usual colour. ‘I-I must tell…’ she almost blurted out Zander’s name. ‘I must tell Henry first. He is my husband.’
‘Doesn’t he know? Hasn’t he guessed?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘That’s so like Henry. His mind is always on books or butterflies or wandering in the moonlight,’ Anna said with unusual impatience. ‘It will be wonderful if we both have babies. Now let me see…’ She began to count up the months. ‘Your baby will be born about February. Mine will not be born until May, but I’m sure they will be good friends and play together. Oh Isabella, I’m so excited I want to tell everyone.’
‘Please don’t, Anna. At least wait until we finish gathering in the harvest. I don’t want Lizzie fussing over me,’ she added as an excuse. She felt a longing to talk to her mother. She must tell Zander and Henry of Anna’s suspicions before anyone else knew. She had never considered she and Zander might make a baby. She had been deliriously happy living from one moon to the next, anticipating Zander’s visits to her bedchamber. Would he and Henry be happy if she was expecting Zander’s child?
Love's Ransom Page 8