“If I’m to have any hope of convincing Queen Anna to relent,” Ashley said, “I need more than a day. Be reasonable.”
His shoulders moved up and down in a huff. “Fine. Three days but not a minute more.”
She stared after him. That would give her enough time to seduce him. Xan would come around. He had to.
But what if he didn’t?
* * *
Tasia spent a sleepless night tossing and turning, replaying her and Xan’s argument in the queen’s tent over and over.
Dawn found her troubled and bleary-eyed. She’d come to one inescapable conclusion—she’d messed the situation up as badly as anything she’d ever done. Worse than the time she’d given medicine to a beggar woman without asking a doctor first. Even much worse than the time at the hospital when she’d promised a little boy that his father wouldn’t die.
She had to make it right.
After quickly changing into a dress, she rushed from her tent … and collided with Brant. She fell backward, landing on her backside with an oof.
The impact didn’t faze him, of course, and he kept moving, not even bothering to extend a hand to help her up. He had a tendency to be a bit brutish but wasn’t normally that impolite.
“Brant!” she called.
He turned and, when his eyes finally focused on her, said, “What? Oh … I’m so sorry.”
Something had him worried and distracted.
“What’s happened?” she said as he helped her to her feet.
“Word just arrived from our scouts. King Barius’ force has a thousand mages.”
Tasia swallowed. Their worst fears were realized. Unless an alliance could be salvaged and a workable plan determined, they’d all be killed or enslaved.
She had to get to Xan. Fast. Without so much as a goodbye, she hiked up her skirt and rushed to his tent.
The guards let her straight in, and her heart thudded as she entered. He looked up from papers on his desk, his expression indicating anything but pleasure at seeing her.
“You’ve heard?” she said.
“Yes.”
“Good. I just thought …” She didn’t know what, exactly, she’d thought.
He returned his attention to his desk.
“Xan, I …” Words stuck in her throat. She should have practiced what she wanted to say.
He looked up again, annoyed, his expression saying, “Why are you still here?”
“Kiss me,” she said.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Get up from that desk, come to me, and kiss me.”
He glanced from side to side and, then, behind him. “You can’t mean me, the guy you just broke up with. I remember the line clearly, ‘Hear this well, Alexander Conley, whoever you decide to marry, it won’t be me.’ So again, you can’t possibly mean for me to kiss you.”
“Do you love me?”
Xan gritted his teeth. “I don’t see—”
“Do you love me?”
“You know blasted well that I do.”
“That is what matters,” she said. “Not what I said yesterday.”
“But … you refused to ever marry me? How could you do that?”
Tasia hung her head. “Because I’m an idiot. Because even though my heart knows that you love me and that you chose me over Ashley, my head keeps whispering that you couldn’t possible want me when you can have her. That she’s beautiful and special and that you deserve to be with her. That she’s who you really want.”
By the time she finished speaking, he’d risen from his chair and walked to her. He put her hands on her shoulder.
“Tasia … you know none of that last part is true. I love you and only you.”
“Of course you do!”
“I am so confused right now.”
She looked up and met his eyes. “I was stupid and insecure, and I messed up, okay?”
“What about that stuff you said? The alliance, saving your uncle, the people of Asherton? It’s more than just the stupid arranged marriage thing. I’m having more and more doubts that fighting here is the right decision.”
Tasia hesitated before responding, considering her words carefully. “I spent much of my life in that city. Many people I care about live there. Friends. Family. And I desperately wish you could save them.”
“Tasia …”
“But I have no right to question your judgment,” she said. “You have so many people counting on you, and your first responsibility is to them, even if that leads you on a course opposite the one I want.”
“You mean that?”
“I do.” She paused. “And I am so sorry I hurt you. Can you forgive me?”
“Of course I can! I can forgive you anything!”
She smiled. “Then why aren’t you kissing me?”
A wide grin split his face. “You’ve stumped me. I have no good reason.”
He bent to her, and their lips touched. The kiss lingered, and their bodies melded together. It was with great effort that she finally pulled away.
“Even though I’m no longer sure the alliance is a good idea,” he said, “I promised I’d wait a couple of days before leaving. Still, I don’t think there’s any danger of the queen changing her mind. As soon as the deadline strikes, I’m pulling out. Get your stuff packed and ready to move.”
Tasia grimaced.
“What?” he said.
“I can’t go with you.”
“But you just said …”
“You leaving means that Duke Asher is likely to die,” Tasia said. “Ashley will need me. I can’t desert her.”
“She manipulated the queen to steal me from you! You owe her nothing.”
“Ashley is my cousin. No matter what she does …” Tasia shrugged.
Xan hung his head. “I get it. Just … be safe, okay?”
“I will. I promise.”
“One more thing …” he said.
“Yes?”
Xan smiled again. “That’s twice I’ve proposed to you, and twice, you’ve turned me down. There will not be a fourth time.”
Tasia smirked. “As long as there’s a third.”
95.
Xan rubbed his bleary eyes.
The night had been long and sleepless. Still unsure he was making the right call, he’d tossed and turned and finally given up even trying to get rest during the small hours.
Two full days had passed since they’d learned Barius had brought nearly his full complement of mages across the border, and that force was only four days from Asherton. The queen, along with her mages and army, had retreated a day’s ride north.
Ashley had stayed behind, constantly attempting to see Xan. She’d cajoled, threatened, and even attempted to bribe his guards. Luckily for him, none of it had worked.
The only good thing about the wait was that he’d had plenty of time to get everything organized. His mages were ready to pull out at a single word from him.
As the morning dawn broke, he sent a kineticist to the queen with a simple note:
Have you changed your mind?
After two hours of waiting, the messenger returned with a single-word response:
No.
Xan shut his eyes. That was it, then. The end of the alliance. Likely, his failure to find a compromise with the queen would cause his death. Of course, finding that compromise likely would have led to his death, too.
He exited his tent. His people would need to take it down and stow it and couldn’t do that with him in it.
“Go!” he yelled, enhancing the order so it boomed throughout the camp.
Acting at once, every mage, soldier, and servant under his command dropped what they were doing and prepared to leave.
Not five minutes later, Brant stalked up to him. “What kind of blasted, rads-infested stunt are you pulling?”
“No stunt,” Xan said. “I’m leaving. Going back to Eye Lake.”
“But—”
“I’m sorry. I don’t have a choice. I wish I did.”
“You …” Brant took a couple of calming breaths. “But there’s no way we can stand without you. Ashley’s father will be killed. I’ll be killed.”
“That will all happen whether I’m here or not.” Xan shrugged. “I’ve got nothing, not even a single hint of an idea to defeat Barius.”
“I never thought you’d desert your friends,” Brant said. “Just because you think you’re a high and mighty ruler—”
“I don’t just ‘think’ I’m a ruler. I am a ruler, one who has many people depending on me to do what’s in their best interests. So tell me honestly, Brant, is getting them killed the right move?”
“The right move is to fight.”
“Why?” Xan said. “Really, tell me because I can’t think of a reason other than misplaced loyalty to someone I once cared about.”
“You can’t think of these mages of yours as people. They’re soldiers, and we’re in a war. If soldiers need to die for us to win a battle, then they fight to their death. That’s their whole blasted purpose.”
Xan let out a long breath. “I recruited some of these not-people myself. They’re my friends as much as you and Dylan are. Even feeling that way about them, I’m willing to see them die, like you said, to win a battle.” He paused. “No, not a battle. To win this war. I am not willing to throw them away needlessly and, in doing so, lose both the battle and the war.”
“But—”
“No,” Xan said. “No ‘but.’ There’s more at stake here than you or me or Ashley or her father. You know more than anyone what rule under Barius will be like. All mages will be killed or enslaved. Any semblance of freedom any man, woman, and child in Bermau and Kaicia has will vanish. And I cannot tell you any more clearly than this—we will lose this battle.”
Brant opened his mouth, but no words came out.
“Look, soldiers fight where they’re told to fight,” Xan said. “I’m not a soldier; I’m the ruler. It’s my job to determine if we’re fighting the right enemy at the right time in the right place, and my considered opinion is that the best way to win this war is to retreat until I can come up with a valid plan.”
Brant frowned. “You’re sure?”
“Positive,” Xan said. “I know we’ve had our differences, but I am and will always be your friend. And I hate leaving like this, but I am convinced I’m doing the right thing. Truly.”
Brant held out his hand. “I guess this is goodbye, then. Maybe our last one.”
Xan sighed. “I wish you would … No, that’s not fair. You do what you think is best. Good luck to you.”
They shook.
96.
Brant hesitated outside a tent.
He checked the polish on his uniform buttons and the shine on his shoes. Perfect.
The queen—the actual queen of Bermau—knew he existed. Had summoned him. Apparently, she was to deliver his orders personally.
Man, his dad would be so proud of him. Knighted. Given command of the army’s most important division for a crucial battle. Being issued orders directly by General Flynn and Queen Anna.
Of course, his father wouldn’t like the odds any more than Xan did.
Brant set his jaw and marched into the tent. The queen, General Henson, Duke Macias, and Lady Ashley, who had a blank look on her face, were seated around a table. At a nod, Brant eased into an open seat.
“The enemy is moving more rapidly than expected,” the queen said. “Our scouts report they’ll arrive on the second morning.”
Ouch. Two days early. They must have used their kineticists to speed up their supply train.
“Effective immediately,” the queen said, “my troops and I are pulling back to Escon.”
“Your majesty, please,” Lady Ashley said. “I beg you to wait.”
“Child, I understand, but it’s unsafe.”
“Xan wouldn’t leave my father to die,” Lady Ashley said. “He’s got something up his sleeve. I know he does.”
Short of the Holy One issuing Xan a direct commandment, Brant didn’t see him coming back. Maybe not even then. Lady Ashley wouldn’t want to hear that, though.
“If we don’t decide now,” the general said. “King Barius’ forces could catch us from behind.”
“But what about my father?”
“He knows about the impending attack and about our plans,” the queen said.
“Is he evacuating, then?”
“The citizens are leaving, but not all can or will make it out in time. The infirm and ones willing to fight, he’s taken into the castle.” General Henson avoided meeting her eyes. “He plans to defend it as best he can.”
The queen turned to Brant. “And he’s called his mages back to the castle to help in the defense.”
Brant’s heart pounded. He was being ordered to his death and for what? There was nothing he could do about Dastanar’s attack. The men and women he’d recruited and trained would be thrown away like a peasant militia sent to slow charging knights.
Maybe Xan had the right of it. Run. Live to fight the next battle.
No! That was the coward’s way out. The dishonorable way. Brant had been taught from birth to follow orders, and he wouldn’t disgrace himself or his family by deserting his liege lord.
“Yes, your majesty.”
“All mages except you and your cousin, child,” the queen told Lady Ashley, not unkindly. “You’re to stay with me.”
She nodded, stunned.
In fact, everyone looked the same. Sad. Defeated. They’d known for a while they were facing long odds, but they’d also been confident someone would come up with an idea. Sure defeat was a different story.
Brant stood and bowed. “By your leave, your majesty, I have many preparations to make.”
She dismissed him with a gesture, and he left, his mind spinning. He’d always thought a glorious, heroic death in battle was the way he wanted to go, but thinking about his mages and his friends and Ivie, he was no longer so sure.
His kineticist took less than an hour to fly the distance that would have taken a full day’s ride on a horse, and the man dropped Brant right outside his tent. After issuing an order to his aide to have the mages gather at the training grounds, he entered through the flaps.
“That bad, huh, master?” Ivie said.
“It’s hard to see how it could be any worse.”
Ivie nodded, her face grim.
“You’re not even going to resist coming with me, are you?” Brant said.
“No, master.”
“Why not?”
“I couldn’t hope to escape such a strong and powerful master as you.”
Brant glared at her for teasing him at such a time, but she just shrugged. Neither spoke for a while.
“Am I selfish?” Brant said.
“Excuse me, master?”
“Nothing … it’s just that I had a talk with Xan earlier. He went on and on and on about how he had to make his choices based on what was best for everyone. His mages. His people. Even the commoners of Bermau and Kaicia.”
Ivie nodded.
“I never think about such things,” Brant said. “All that’s in my head is how to best do whatever I’ve been ordered to do. Complete focus on the mission.”
“Some would say that’s a good trait for a soldier, master.”
“It’s just … do I follow orders because that’s the right and honorable thing to do? Or because it’s the thing that will get me promoted?” He sighed. “Both, I guess.”
“There’s nothing wrong with ambition, master.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ve been in tough scrapes before, but I always thought things would turn out just fine. This time … I just find myself questioning my choices. My life. My career. Girls.”
“What about girls, master?”
“Tasia once accused me of using them solely for my own pleasure.”
Ivie stifled a laugh.
“It’s true, isn’t it?” Brant said.
“Sorry, master, but … you’re not very
self-aware, are you?”
“No. Not one of my strong points.” He took a deep breath. Maybe he’d always been selfish, but he didn’t have to be. At least in one small thing, he could be selfless. “You’re not coming with me to Asherton.”
“Master, I …”
“That was a direct order.”
“But …”
He fished a wallet full of gold coins from a locked chest. “This should take care of you for a long time.”
“You’ll get in trouble, master.”
“How? You’re not one of my soldiers, and none of my superiors know you’re a mage. Besides, how much more trouble can I get in than certain death?”
“Maybe it won’t be certain death, master. Maybe one more mage would make a difference.”
“You really believe that?”
“No, but …”
“I’d feel better about all this if I at least knew you were safe,” Brant said. “Will you please do as I ask?”
She hesitated before nodding. “Where should I go, master?”
Brant thought for a second. “No place is truly safe right now, but Eye Lake is better than most. Go there. Xan has more than his fair share of flaws, but he’s a good guy. And in many ways, he’s much more honorable than me. He’ll take care of you.”
Ivie frowned.
“I would stake my life on it,” he said.
“Okay, master, because you might be staking mine.”
“Stay here while I address the mages,” he said. “I’ll arrange a horse, supplies, and a messenger bag for you. That will be your excuse to leave.”
She stood near him, almost touching, and looked up at him as if expecting something. Almost as if she wanted him to kiss her. But that couldn’t be right.
He cleared his throat. “Well, I guess that’s it, then. Best of luck to you.”
She turned away quickly, hiding her face from him. “Thank you, mas … Brant. For everything.”
He gave her a quick nod and walked from the tent feeling the best he could about the situation. His good mood only lasted an instant, though, as he thought about his mages waiting for him at the training field. It was up to him to deliver the bad news.
Gryphon (Rise of the Mages Book 2) Page 50