by Sienna Skye
I just stood there like an idiot with my mouth gaping wide open like I was catching flies. How did he do that? How could he possibly figure those things out about me? Unless, Hunter said something.
“Hunter didn’t say a thing to me. He wouldn’t break your confidence like that.”
And how did he read my mind like that? There was no way this was going to work. Uh uh. Nope.
“This is not going to work. I appreciate your time, but I won’t be coming back.” At least not with him as my trainer. No good could come from that.
“I will text you when to come in so I can put you through some paces and see what our starting point is.”
“You don’t have my number.”
He held up the tablet. “That, Hunter did tell me.”
I turned on my heel and headed to the door. At the last second, I couldn’t resist the urge to turn around and look at him. He sat there looking at me with that damn smirk on his face. That damn smirk that said he knew I would be back. How did he do that?
Jace
I watched as Madison turned to leave the room. She was trying to muster up the courage to act as if nothing I said affected her. I fought back the urge to laugh when she tried to push the door open only to discover she should have pulled. That would have embarrassed her, and she already had a serious issue with self-esteem. I certainly didn’t want to add to that.
I spotted her the second she walked into the gym with Sarah. Hiding behind that oversized shirt, nervously tugging on the hem in a futile effort to cover herself even further. She was a bundle of nervous energy pushing her long brown hair behind her ear and darting looks around the gym. Her hazel eyes looked nervous and unsure. She was comparing herself to everyone there. That’s not a totally uncommon thing, but I could see her judging herself with every glance. Someone had done a number on that woman. Hunter told me she was divorced, and I was pretty sure it was her ex-husband who had her doubting herself. The way she defended her kids when she thought they were under attack made me think she was either compensating for a crappy childhood or that she felt her kids had been through enough hard times and she wanted to shield them from any more pain. My gut said it was the second option and I learned long ago that my gut was rarely wrong
Madison intrigued me. She was a diamond in the rough. I had a feeling there was a spitfire buried deep below all that self-doubt. Getting her to believe in herself was not going to be easy. That part was going to be harder than getting her body into shape. She was going to fight me every step of the way. Doubting herself kept her from discovering the real Madison. She would have never had come to the gym if Sarah hadn’t been the impetus. But, she did come. And as much as she was afraid to dig deep, she was still curious to find out who that person was. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t have walked through those doors. That’s why I knew she would be back. There was a fighter inside of her and I decided I was going to help her win that battle. I wasn’t going to give her too much time to sit and contemplate. I would text her tomorrow and make plans for the following day. I wasn’t even scheduled to come in. I took the day off to go to a follow up appointment, but I would come in afterward just for her.
Madison didn’t know what she was in for.
Chapter Two
Madison
It was late Sunday afternoon and I knew Ralph would be coming back soon with the kids. I was always a little edgy during pick up and drop off times. It was a crap shoot whether he would do it peacefully or whether he would find the need to try and start an argument. Or worse, berate me. It could be about anything really. It didn’t matter. I had worked on it in therapy. I had to see this man for many years to come. The kids were six and eight. That was a long way off from eighteen. I didn’t engage him. I didn’t even do that when we were married. I was trying to set boundaries with him, and more importantly, not allow what he said to take seed inside me.
Oddly, I felt more comfortable with myself when I was with Jace the day before than I had been in such a long time. As many times as that thought popped in my head, I pushed it away. It made no sense and neither did training with him. Not if it was going to turn me on my head, which I strongly suspected it would.
I busied myself with getting dinner ready. I tried to keep the kids on a schedule, and we needed to get prepped for the start of a new school week. I heard a text come through on my phone and assumed it was Ralph telling me he was bringing Ryan and Alexis back. When I looked, it was a number I didn’t recognize. As I read the message, I felt my heart do a flip flop.
Jace: Hey Madison…It’s Jace. I want you to come in tomorrow so I can assess your fitness level. Let me know when you will be available.
I will make time for you.
I put my phone down on the arm of the couch and then picked it up again. I read the message a second time and then put the phone back down on the couch. I stopped my hand before I could reach for it again and turned and walked into the kitchen. I opened the oven, checked on dinner, then went to the sink and picked up a glass to wash it. I stared at the glass for a minute before putting it back down and heading back to the living room. After drumming my fingers on the back of the couch, I picked up the phone and opened the message up again. I started to text back that I changed my mind and then deleted it. No, I was right. Ending the whole thing was a good idea. Once again I typed that while I appreciated the time he gave me, I decided not to hire him as my trainer. Then I deleted the text again. I decided to take a different approach. I started to send a message saying I would give it some thought, but then I realized how ridiculous that was and hit backspace until the message was gone.
I slapped myself on the forehead. He would certainly see the little bubbles on the message come and disappear. Come and disappear. That was assuming he was sitting there staring at his phone waiting for my response. Which of course he wasn’t. I mean, why would he be? I was just another potential client. He probably had a long list of clients. A long list of potential clients. Maybe he was watching one of their bubbles. Bubbles that turned into a message of acceptance. Well good for them. They could run off and have Jace be their trainer. Get all fit and healthy. But it wasn’t going to be me. No sir. They had lots of trainers there. It was a gym for crying out loud. That’s what gyms have. Trainers. And I was going to pick a trainer, but it wasn’t going to be Jace. No good could come from that. With determination, I swiftly texted back a response and sent it.
Madison: I will be there at 4:30
Before I had the chance to put my phone down, I saw the little bubbles doing their thing.
Jace: See you then
And Madison…
And Madison? And Madison what? The little bubbles started dancing again. For heaven’s sake, text faster.
Jace: Aren’t you glad you didn’t give in to your urge to turn me down?
How did he do that? I wasn’t going to answer. Let him wonder. I very carefully kept my fingers off the keyboard, but as I started to put the phone down I saw he was sending another message.
Jace: I know you are not going to respond…but I want you to know that you made the right choice… Don’t be nervous. It will be fine. I promise.
Sure, easy for him to say. I didn’t know which made me more nervous. Jace putting me through my paces or being in his presence. I was so absorbed in my thoughts I didn’t hear the car pull up. It was the playful chattering of my kids as they ran up the front walk that caught my attention. The jiggling of the doorknob came next followed by Ryan and Alexis barreling through the doorway.
A chorus of “Mommy! Mommy!” rang out in the living room as they swarmed me and wrapped their arms around my waist. I bent down and gave them hugs and kissed the top of their heads.
“Hey guys! Did the two of you have fun with your Dad?” I smiled at them as they recounted the weekend’s events.
I knew Ralph was in the room. I could see him out of the corner of my eye. He was just standing there. I didn’t have to see his face to see the look of disapproval. I could feel it.
Feel the energy change in the room. The tension. If I could feel it, I was pretty sure the kids would be able to sense it.
“I am so happy you guys had such a good time. Go bring your things to your room and then go wash up. Dinner will be ready soon.”
They ran off to their rooms and I took a silent breath. I knew what was about to start and I had to brace myself for it. It was the same routine every time. Like clockwork. When he didn’t start right up, I briefly thought maybe this time would be different. But then, true to form, he opened his mouth.
“I need to make a change in this week’s schedule.”
Of course, you do. This was not uncommon. He would make changes and I would agree just to keep the peace. He would never afford me the same courtesy.
“What change do you need to make?” The only other day he was supposed to have them for the remainder of the week was Wednesday. It was whether he was going to switch days or just bail that was in question.
“I can’t take them on Wednesday. I will pick them up from school tomorrow instead.”
He assumed this was the way it was going to be and never even considered that him not taking them on Wednesday might cause difficulty for me. I guess I was partly responsible. I allowed the behavior. This worked in my favor though. I could go to my training session without having to bring the kids to the day care.
“Fine, but I will need more notice in the future. I have some things lined up and there may be times I can’t make the switch.”
He looked shocked for a moment. I couldn’t blame him. I shocked myself. He quickly hid his disbelief.
“What things do you have lined up?”
“That’s really none of your business.” I don’t know which surprised me more, the statement I made or the sarcastic chuckle that bubbled out of me.
“It most certainly is my business when you make plans that could affect my kids.”
“Oh, that is rich coming from you. You change the schedule up on any little whim you have. I am not the one making changes. That would be you.” I heard my voice get louder and lowered it so the kids wouldn’t hear. “I need to feed them dinner, so you should leave now.”
“You’re exactly what I always thought you were.”
I wasn’t going to feed into it. I had no clue what he meant, and I didn’t even care to find out. What I knew was he was looking to engage. Looking for a reaction. For a fight. He was going to be disappointed because I wasn’t going to give it to him.
“Goodnight.” I held the front door open and gestured with my hand for him to leave.
He left without another word. I closed and locked the door. I had changed the locks long ago. Then I walked down the hall to see where the kids were. I found them in the bathroom washing their hands.
“Are you guys hungry?”
“Yes!” they chanted in unison.
“Good! I made ribs, corn on the cob, and potato salad. And there might be watermelon for dessert.”
“Then why did you have us wash our hands?” Ryan furrowed his brow as he looked at me.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, they are going to get all dirty with the barbeque sauce and from the corn on the cob. We are just going to have to clean them again later.”
Eight year old logic.
“We wash our hands to make sure we get rid of any germs on them. It’s especially important when we are going to eat with our hands.”
“Look, Mommy! I washed all my germs down the sink!” Alexis stood on her tip toes on the bench she was using and squinted to look down the drain. “I think I see them swimming away.”
“Good job! Let’s go have some dinner.”
The three of us headed to the kitchen. I grabbed my phone from the living room along the way and saw I had six text messages. I was gone for like three minutes.
I tapped the message icon and saw they were all from Ralph. After blowing out a breath, I scanned them. This was also true to form. The repeated text messages because I didn’t engage him. I silenced his messages and headed into the kitchen.
I let the kids tell me all about their weekend adventures. They told me about seeing their grandparents on Friday night. Ralph’s parents were always good to me, but more importantly, they were good to Ryan and Alexis. I was glad they got to spend time with them. On Saturday morning they sat around in their pajamas watching television and then had pizza for lunch. They told me they played outside in the afternoon and then went out for dinner.
“Did you go to the diner?” My kids thought there was no greater place to go and eat than the diner.
“No, we went to the place where Miss Tammy works,” Ryan said.
“The place where Miss Tammy works?”
“Yeah, she gets to make drinks for people. She put fancy things like umbrellas and stuff in the drinks.” It was obvious Alexis thought that was the coolest thing ever.
He did this all the time. He would start dating some woman and then bring the kids around before the relationship had become serious. They had told me about at least five “Miss Somebodys” in the last year and a half. I suspected that was another reason Ralph was trying to engage me as much as he was. It wasn’t just my change in attitude. He wanted to find an opening to let me know he was dating someone. I didn’t know whether he thought I cared or if he was aggravated that I didn’t.
I realized I had been quiet for a moment or two and didn’t want the kids to wonder.
“So, what did you have for dinner?”
“We had hamburgers. We got onion rings instead of French fries.” Ryan’s eyes almost glazed over as he recalled his menu choices.
“Well that is the logical choice after all.” I was a fan of onion rings myself.
“They were giant, Mommy! Like really big circles.”
“Yeah and Alexis couldn’t finish hers, so I did.”
“You should have left some and we could have shared with Mommy.” Alexis pouted.
“Don’t worry. It’s okay. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t we go out for dinner on Friday night and get some onion rings?”
Well that made them happy.
“There has been a little change for tomorrow. Your dad will pick you up from school and you will have dinner with him. Wednesday you will be home with me.”
They nodded as they chomped into their food.
“I also found something cool we can do after school one or two days a week.” I paused as they stopped mid bite to look at me. “Mommy is going to start doing some exercises. Do you remember Mr. Hunter? Well he owns a gym and I joined so I can start getting healthier. The really cool thing is this gym has a special place for kids to play. So, on the days we are together, and I go to the gym, you guys can go play. How does that sound?”
“Will there be snacks?”
“Umm, well, good question, Alexis. I don’t know the answer to that.”
“Because I get really hungry after school and I need a snack. And I get thirsty. And when you exercise that makes you get like a million times thirsty.”
“I can ask.”
“Can you text Mr. Hunter? Because I want to know too. I get hungry and thirsty after school too. And I am bigger, so I get hungrier and thirstier.”
I could text Sarah. Or Hunter. Or… No. That was not a good idea. I picked up the phone and typed out a quick text.
Madison: I have a quick question
“Did you text Mr. Hunter?” Alexis asked. It was obvious this answer was crucial for her.
“Well, no. But, I am trying to get you an answer.” I nervously shook my leg while I waited for the reply. Then when I heard the chime, I was afraid to look.
“Mommyyyyyy. They texted you back.” Alexis was bouncing up and down in her seat.
“I just wanted to swallow my food.”
“You don’t need any empty mouth to read the phone.”
She had me there. I looked at the message.
Jace: Sure. Go ahead.
“What did they say?”
“Hold on. I
didn’t ask yet. I was just saying hello first.”
She threw her head in her hands. Apparently I had fully exasperated her.
Madison: I was just wondering if there would be snacks… For the kids I mean
At the daycare at the gym.
This time I watched my phone as I waited for the reply. As soon as the phone chimed, Ryan was out of his seat and by my side in a flash. He tried to make a grab for the phone.
“I want to see!”
I held my arm up in the air keeping the phone out of his reach.
“No. You can’t read my messages. Go sit down so I can see what it says, and I will tell you the answer.”
Jace: Absolutely. Good stuff too. I’ve snuck in there a time or two to get a treat.
“You’ll be happy to know they provide snacks.”
Ryan jumped up with a fist raised in the air. “Yeah!”
“You’re happy about that too, Mommy.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you were smiling the whole time you were reading the message.”
“Yep, you were,” Ryan chimed in.
“You should say thank you, Mommy.”
“Huh?”
“You didn’t text back to say thank you.”
“Oh, you’re right.”
Madison: Thanks. You’ve made them very happy. They were overly concerned about dehydration and starvation.
“The thank you has been sent.” The words no sooner left my mouth, when another message came through.
Jace: Happy to help. I remember those days. Snack before all else lol See you tomorrow.
I started to clean up from dinner. There was no reason to text back. Well, it would be courteous to confirm I would be there tomorrow, even though I did already. It was a nice and friendly thing to do.
Madison: See you then
Tomorrow.
This was a new start. A chance to rediscover who I really was. To figure out who I could be without the stress I had when I was still with Ralph.