by Sienna Skye
I flashed him my most dazzling smile and waved. Then I turned around and went inside. I had no delusions that confronting him like I did would stop his behavior. Not at all. But, I did feel better letting him know where I stood. And it was up to me to adjust my behavior so that I didn’t play into his hand.
I checked on the kids. Alexis was fast asleep. I smiled when I realized Ryan tucked her in. I went to his room and he was knocked out too. When I tucked him in, his eyes fluttered open for a minute.
“Goodnight, Mom.”
“Goodnight, love bug.”
I ran my hand over his hair and kissed his forehead. It was then that something hit me out of the blue. I had been trying so hard to shield my kids, I didn’t think about what I was teaching them by example.
I wanted Ryan to be a better man than Ralph. He needed to learn what that meant. And what about Alexis? Was I teaching her to allow a man to walk all over her? Manipulate her? I wanted a better life for both of them.
I was up for most of the night thinking about what happened with Jace. I was worried about where we stood and didn’t want to let time go by before talking to him. And I didn’t want to do it over the phone.
The next day, the kids asked to go to the park. I texted Jace and asked if he would be willing to meet me there so we could talk. It took him a long time to answer or at least it seemed like a long time. He told me he would meet me at the park and agreed we needed to talk. That scared me. I wasn’t prepared for him to tell me he wanted this to be over.
The kids and I got to the park. Jace was already there, sitting on a park bench. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans, a tight white tee shirt, work boots, and aviator sunglasses. He was sitting back casually, his long legs stretched out in front of him. All the moms at the park were practically panting. And he was mine. Maybe. I wasn’t so sure about that anymore.
He was early. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. The kids each zeroed in on their friends and ran off to play.
I couldn’t see his eyes through those sunglasses, but I was pretty damn sure he was watching every step I made as I approached. I was about five feet away from him and he still hadn’t said a word. I was starting to sweat.
I took another few steps forward and swallowed the lump in my throat.
“Hi.” I barely got that one word out. I could feel my voice start to get shaky.
“Hi.”
He took off his sunglasses and the intensity in his eyes made me more nervous than I already was.
“I…I think I am going to sit.” I started to tug my shirt down by the hem. He was going to know that meant I was nervous. Who was I fooling? He knew that from the second he laid eyes on me from across the park.
I sat down, carefully leaving a person sized space between us. He continued to look at me with that same intensity. I couldn’t read him at all and that was more than a little disconcerting.
“I have some things I would like to say, Jace. Unless you have something you would like to say first?”
If he was planning on saying it was over, I was hoping he would do it right away and get it over with.
“No, that’s fine. What is it that you want to say?”
I ran my hand through my hair. “First, most importantly. I’m sorry that there is this tension between us.”
“There’s tension between us?” he asked.
“You don’t think so?”
“Maybe. Awkwardness might be a better word.”
“Whatever it is, I don’t like that it’s between us.”
“I don’t like it either, Madison.”
“I know you were upset I left last night. I hope you know I wanted to stay.”
“Yeah, I wanted you to stay. I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t disappointed. But, I wasn’t upset because you left. I was upset because he was manipulating you and you allowed it to happen. There is a distinct difference between the two.”
I let my eyes linger on where Ryan and Alexis were playing. I was trying to get my thoughts together.
“Look, I know your kids come first. I get that. If something had been wrong with one of them, I wouldn’t have thought twice about you leaving. Hell, I would have driven you there myself. This isn’t about them for me. And it isn’t about them for their father, either. It’s entirely about you and him wanting to control you.”
“I know that. At least I figured it out on the way home last night. I told him that, too.” I turned on the bench so I could face him.
“You did?”
“Yeah, we kind of had it out on the street. Well, to be more precise, I had it out.”
“What was his reaction?” He never broke his gaze and his eyes were still as intense as they were when he took off his glasses.
“Pretty much unflustered. I don’t believe for a minute that he will stop. But I am going to stop reacting to it.”
“I hope you do. I want you to realize your worth, Madison. You can’t let him diminish that.”
“It’s not only my worth.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was thinking about it last night. What kind of man do I want Ryan to become? What kind of example am I setting for Alexis? For how she allows herself to be treated?”
He nodded his head in agreement.
“I want you to promise me that you’ll not let whatever he says get to you. That you’ll believe in yourself enough to not even give it a second thought. With me or without me.”
It felt like I was punched in the gut when he said that. Maybe he was planning on saying he was done. I couldn’t take it anymore. I tried to work up the courage to ask him. Just get it done with. Like ripping off a bandage.
“Is that what you want, Jace? For me to be without you? Do you want to break it off with me?”
“No, that’s not what I want at all. But, you need to trust me to tell me when he says something that makes you second guess yourself. Or us. And you need to trust that I may be able to look at what’s going on from a different perspective.”
“I’ll try. I can promise that.”
The distance between us was getting to me. I scooted closer and held out my arms. In one swift move, he pulled me on his lap and gave me a hug. He looked over to where the kids were and put me back down on the bench. He took my hand and held it and I rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed me on the top of my head.
We quietly for a few minutes and then he broke the silence. “Do you think the kids will suspect anything if we take them for ice cream after this?”
“Are you trying to win them over with ice cream?” I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked at him.
“Could be.”
“It’s not a bad place to start.”
Chapter Eleven
Jace
I didn’t like the idea of going to Sarah. Sarah and Madison were friends. It seemed like going behind her back or breaking a trust. But I wanted the whole story of what was holding Madison back and I needed to be sure I was on the right track so I could break through those barriers. She was worth it. I wanted that woman in my life. Needed her there. The situation the other night concerned me. Even if Madison didn’t let her ex-husband manipulate the schedule, she still had some self-esteem issues. They were much better than the first time I saw her walk through the doors at the gym, but they weren’t completely gone.
Morgan and Julia were right when they said I was in love with her. And Morgan was right when he suggested I take a more proactive approach. That’s what I reminded myself when I asked Sarah to meet me for coffee.
We met a local coffee shop. We went outside and sat down at a table on the patio.
“I’m assuming you want to talk about Madison.”
“I do. I know she’s your friend, Sarah. And I don’t want to ask you to break her confidence. I’ll tell you straight out I am in love with that woman and I don’t want to lose her. And I am afraid that is exactly what is going to happen if I can’t help her to work through all the stuff she has weighing h
er down. At times I feel like I finally get through to her, but then we take two steps back.”
A bright smile spread across her face when I told her I was in love with Madison.
“Madison deserves a great guy like you, Jace. But, you’re right. I’m a little torn about this.” She broke eye contact and looked around while chewing on her lower lip. Then she looked back at me.
“How about if I tell you what I have figured out and you tell me how far off base I am.” I looked her straight in the eye so she could see my intentions.
“Probably not far, knowing you. But that sounds like a good place to start.”
“She’s caught up in the age difference. She doesn’t bring it up often, but she does mention it from time to time. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. But, I think that all stems from her insecurities about her looks and her body. I wish she could see herself the way I see her. I’ve tried to show that to her. It’s like she starts to have some self-confidence and then it suddenly slips away. There’s no doubt in my mind that her ex played a huge role in that.”
“Plays.” She took a sip of her coffee and then put the cup on the table.
“What?”
“Plays a huge role. Still. How much do you know about him?” Sarah asked.
“I’ve seen him a couple of times. Met him. Got a pretty good feel for who he is in that brief moment. She tells me some, but I’m sure she has not told me everything.”
“I hate him.”
“Don’t hold back, Sarah. Tell me how you really feel.” I had to laugh at the intensity of her declaration.
“You know what? I’ve changed my mind, Jace. I will share what I know. I want her to be happy.”
“Go ahead.”
“He was abusive to her.”
“He hit her?” Because I was about to go and break his neck.
“No, not physically. Not that she ever admitted to. I watched for signs of that.”
“You were that concerned?”
“Yes, I was. I’ve known Madison a long time. We started off working the floor together. I watched that woman slowly become a shell of herself. What you see now, Jace? The moments of ups and downs? That is a vast improvement from where she was.”
“Hunter told me that she left him.”
“Yes, she did.”
“That surprises me.” I rested my arms on the table and leaned in closer.
“She just might have had a friend who encouraged her to take a stand.”
“Did she now?”
“I couldn’t take it anymore. He was constantly making her doubt herself. Making her feel less than what she is. It was all control. If she felt like crap about herself, she wouldn’t see what a loser he was.” Sarah flopped back in her chair and huffed in frustration.
“I’ve told her that it’s all about his control over her.”
“Even now, he uses the kids as leverage. He just expects her to change her plans to accommodate whatever changes he makes to the schedule. Many times, last minute. Sometimes it’s for his own benefit. So that he can run off and do whatever…or whoever. But, I know other times it’s to keep her from having a life. To try and make her miserable. He knows she will always put the kids first. Even at her own expense. She told me about the night you guys went to dinner. How he was an hour late. Then there was the night you guys went to the movies. I offered to watch the kids if needed because I knew it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility for him not to show up.”
“She tries to take the high road for the sake of the kids,” I said.
“She does. And he takes advantage of that. Look Jace, if he met you, then there is no doubt in my mind that the bastard is working double time to make her feel like crap. The man is smart enough to know that when it comes to you, there is no competition. Tell me, the night you met him, how was she after that?”
“She was a little off, but we got past that. Then, something happened on the way home that set her off.”
“What was that?”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to reveal that, but Sarah had been open with me and there was a possibility she might be able to shed some light on this as well.
“She put two and two together and realized Julia and I were in Virginia at the same time. She’s got this thing about Julia. It gets overshadowed because of the crap her ex-husband pulls, but it does resurface from time to time.”
Sarah blew out a breath and then furrowed her brow. “Yes, I’ve caught glimpses of that.”
“I’m not sure what it is about her. I mean I train a lot of women. Beautiful women. I notice she is a little more hesitant when I am with them, a little more withdrawn, but it’s nothing like the way she is when it comes to times I am with Julia. Julia is my best friend’s wife. I consider Morgan my brother. She’s family. Christ, she’s my biggest cheerleader when it comes to my relationship with Madison. I think on one level Madison gets it, but then it gets lost in translation somewhere.”
“If I know you as well as I think I do, you’ve talked to her about it. It’s not like Julia is going to disappear out of your life.”
“I’ve talked to her. Tried to show her. I’ve even—” I didn’t know Sarah as well as I knew Julia. She seemed pretty open minded, but not knowing her limits, I wanted to make sure I was respectful of her.
“Ahh, submission through orgasm. Did you learn that tactic in the Marines?”
I choked on the mouthful of coffee I tried to swallow.
Sarah smirked at me while she arched a brow.
“No ma’am. I learned that one all on my own.”
“It’s going to take time, Jace. Keep doing what you’re doing. All of it.” She paused to chuckle then turned serious. “I know it’s frustrating. The kids are little so it’s not like she can limit interaction with him more than she already has. He’s going to be stepping up his game now. Working harder to make her feel like crap since he knows you are in her life. He can’t stand the idea of her thriving on her own. Of her having someone else in her life. Especially someone who is so much better for her than he ever was.”
“You have a lot of faith in me, Sarah.”
“I do. Look, I know I don’t know you quite as well as the others do. But, Hunter thinks you are a stand-up guy. Morgan and Julia are obviously sold as well. And from what I do know of you, I tend to agree with them. I will do my best to help. I’ll try to run interference when Ralph plays his game.”
“Thank you. I don’t want you to do anything you are not comfortable with. Or anything that will jeopardize your friendship with Madison.”
“Not at all, Jace. I am happy to do it. It’s for a great cause. There’s one more thing about her ex you should know.”
“Yeah, I already figured out that he cheated on her. Probably with more than one woman. A guy like that needs constant reassurance for his self-esteem.”
Sarah laughed softly and shook her head. We finished our coffee and I walked her back to her car.
Sarah confirmed the thoughts I already had. I was up against years of damage her ex caused. I was surprised Madison was as together as she was. All things considered it could be a lot worse than her feeling insecure about whether she was attractive enough. Whether I could really have feelings for her. That was because Madison was a fighter. I needed to teach her to fight harder for herself.
***
Just like Madison thought, Ralph didn’t stop playing games. But, she was getting much better at not letting him get his way. We had back up plans in place and it seemed to be working out well.
I was at the gym speaking to someone who was interested in taking me on as their trainer. I had just walked them to the front desk so they could start the registration process. It was almost time for Madison’s session, so I glanced out to the parking lot to look for her.
I didn’t see Madison. But, I did see Ralph. He was talking to someone, but from the angle I had, I couldn’t see who. Madison told me the kids were on a play date, so I couldn’t figure out why he was there. Unless he wa
s looking for her. But, his body language was different than it usually was when he’d interact with her. I still wasn’t taking that chance though and I moved so I could get a better look.
What the fuck? He was talking to Julia. Her expression was polite enough, but I could tell she didn’t want to stay there any longer. She made a move so she could walk away, but he shifted his weight so that he blocked the way.
I didn’t know what he thought he was up to, but I was putting an end to it. I told the girl at the front desk I would be back in a few minutes.
I pushed through the gym doors and made a beeline to where they were standing. Julia looked thankful to see me. I skipped over any pleasantries.
“Is there something you need?” The tone of my voice made it clear I was pissed.
I made sure to position myself so that she was somewhat behind me. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Julia’s facial expression. She was wondering if there was something more going on than she originally thought.
“I was just telling her what a big fan I am. She is even more stunningly beautiful in person than on television.”
“I’m sure her husband agrees.” I turned to look at Julia. “Were you coming or going?” My voice was a little gruffer with Julia than I had intended it to be.
She pointed to the door. “Trey is waiting for me.”
“Let’s go then.”
I put my hand on Julia’s back and started to guide her to the door. I turned back to make eye contact with Ralph and that’s when I saw Madison was already there. While I doubted she heard anything from where she was, I was pretty sure she saw the exchange. He turned his attention to Madison, and I wanted to knock that smug look off his face.
Trey’s timing was impeccable. He must have seen us in the parking lot and his instincts kicked in. As he stepped into the parking lot, I looked at him and pointed my chin in Julia’s direction. He nodded in understanding and then smiled at Julia.
“Come on, woman. Now you’re making me come out to the parking lot to get you? I hope you’re prepared for me to kick your butt in there.”