Seeking Redemption

by Kylie Hillman

  “Walk away, pussy. Isn’t that your forte lately?”

  Mad Dog comes to a stop with the bedroom door open to the hallway. I watch as he drums his fingers on the doorframe, and his previously slumped shoulder straighten and rise. Without turning to look at me, he growls.

  “You’re lucky that I still remember you as the little kid who used to chase me everywhere. The one who had the potential to grab the world by the balls and make it his bitch. Because it’s becoming harder and harder for me to stop myself from knocking your head off your fucking shoulders. Next time you go to tear strips off your sister in front of everyone, it might pay to remember that she’s the only reason I haven’t. Yet.”

  Mad Dog’s words hit the only spot in my heart that’s not numb from the drugs and alcohol. The spot that, no matter how much meth I smoke or whiskey I drink, keeps rearing its ugly head and making me feel like shit. Jumping like a little bitch when the door slams shut behind him, I slump back against the headboard and grab my pounding head with both hands.

  Fuck him. Fuck his bullshit guilt trips.

  I need outta this place before I say something else I shouldn’t.

  Actually scratch that, I need another hit, but no one in this Club is going to walk out to my car and grab my pipe and baggie for me. At least when I’m off tap nothing weighs on me. None of their words can touch me.

  “Hey.” A soft voice breaks my reverie.

  Lifting my head, I watch in puzzled silence as the door closes with a quiet snick as she engages the lock. Lacey makes her way into the room. She has a devious smile creasing her face and it lifts my spirits. She’s up to something.

  “Hey,” I push my headache to the back of my mind as I speak to her.

  “You don’t mind if I sit down?”

  “Of course not.”

  Her presence has me confused. We’ve hung out plenty—she’s Maddi’s best friend, after all—however we’ve never been alone like this before. My puzzlement must show on my face because she reaches over and grabs my hand.

  “I kinda feel responsible for you getting hurt out there,” she teases as she perches on the edge of the bed. She takes in a deep breath before continuing, “I heard what Smoke said. I’m not interested in him, not like that. He’s my friend.”

  “I wasn’t worried.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her.

  Letting go of my hand she slaps my chest, not impressed with my cheeky remark. I grind my teeth together so I don’t let her know how much even that small movement makes my knee hurt.

  Leaning forward, Lacey stares at me with a strange intensity. I return her gaze, noticing her enlarged pupils and her chewed-up, red raw bottom lip. I think little goodie-two-shoes Lacey Marquis has a skeleton in her closet. A secret that we have in common, except mine’s not much of a secret anymore.

  “God, I hope we’re on the same page here,” she sighs after she speaks. Reaching into her handbag, she pulls out a glass pipe, a hot-pink lighter, and a baggie. The baggie is about a quarter full with pale crystalline shards of a rock-like substance. My heartrate accelerates, but I stay silent. I want to reach out and snatch the bag from her since it’s exactly what I need at the moment, but she might’ve been planted to test me.

  Could this be a trap?

  “Benji, I’m going out on a limb here. Can you say something?” Her tone is plaintive. She waves the bag in front of my face and, this time, I do take it from her. Pressing the shards with my fingers, I smile when they resist the pressure and keep their shape. She’s got the good stuff.

  “I don’t understand,” I question her, turning the bag over and over in my hands. I need to find out her story before I accept her gift. “Since when do you smoke? You’re not that sort of girl.”

  Her features harden as she answers, “I was Connor’s Old Lady. Do you really think I’ve never dabbled? That I’m the innocent little girl everyone thinks I am?”

  Pain leaks from her words and I see straight through her tough front. She might have dabbled previously—not that I’ve ever heard about it before—but the quality of the product I’m holding in my hand, tells me she doesn’t “dabble” anymore. It would appear that Lacey hasn’t been handling Connor turning rat and leaving her behind as well as we all thought.

  “Fair enough,” I concede with a curt nod. “I don’t have to tell you that this doesn’t leave this room? The last thing I need is Maddi getting on my ass any more than she already is.”

  Lacey accepts my point with a small incline of her head.

  I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding as relief takes hold.

  Pulling the bag from my hands, she loads the glass pipe with a nugget. Flicking her lighter, she inhales until her lungs are full, the rock in the bowl of the pipe glowing bright orange when she sucks. With her lungs full, Lacey passes the pipe to me and I repeat her actions.

  I’ll never be able to properly explain the rush of warm heat that engulfs my body when I smoke meth. It’s like liquid euphoria flows through my veins, relaxing my mind but hyping my body all at once. All of my aches and pains disappear. Happiness and contentedness floods me, and all of my guilt, my worries, and my problems take flight.

  Flopping back against the headboard, I let loose the cloud of smoke I was holding in my lungs and hold on as the rush hits. Lacey is wobbly when she makes her way onto my lap and blows her smoke into my face. I inhale her offering, holding the air in my lungs again before letting it back out into her face. Giggling as she rides her own high, she falls into a sitting position next to me and lays her head against the headboard next to mine, her eyelids fluttering shut.

  I’ve never been this close to her. Never realized how beautiful she is, how curvy her body is, or how good she smells. Tilting my head, I nuzzle my nose into her hair and breathe in her shampoo. Strawberries and something sweeter.

  Resting my cheek on the top of her head, I run my gaze down her body. She’s relaxed as fuck, her arms hanging loose and her legs splayed. Her skirt has risen, her hot-pink panties clearly visible. Her nipples are hard under her lightweight top, her chest rising and falling with defined movements as she pants. The heat emanating from her body coupled with the slight shuddering tells me that she’s high as a kite, riding wave after wave of ecstasy.

  Shifting closer to Lacey—careful not to move my busted leg too much because I’ve learned the hard way that just because it doesn’t hurt too much right now, that probably won’t be the case when I come down—I slide my finger up the inside of her closest thigh and then along the crease of her leg and her panties.

  “You know I’m going to fuck you tonight?” I murmur.

  The only answer I receive is a snigger before she shuffles closer to me and pushes my shoulders against the headboard. Swinging one of her legs over my lap, she settles against my bulge, grabbing my face with both hands, and kissing me hard on the lips.

  “I’m pretty sure I’ll be doing the fucking, you sexy one-legged wonder,” she purrs, alluding to my broken knee.

  Arching her back, her hands grip the bottom of her shirt and she lifts it over her head, throwing it onto the floor with a flourish. Standing with her legs on either side of mine, she shimmies her skirt to her ankles. I grab her full hips when she starts to lose her balance on the bed as she kicks her skirt onto the floor. My hands on her hips, I take my time running my eyes over her flushed face, down to her naked tits, before making the descent past her soft stomach to her panty covered pussy.

  “Little Miss Trouble?” I cock an eyebrow as I read the front of her panties. “Fuck. You come bearing meth, wearing panties like this. You might just be fucking perfect.”

  Hooking my thumbs in the side of her panties, I slide them down her legs, steadying her as she steps out of them. Once she’s bare before me, I usher her forward until her mound is directly in front of my face. I’m not sure if God will approve but I thank him anyway for short chicks. What I’ve got in mind wouldn’t work with a leggy woman.

  “Spread ‘em, Lacey.”

/>   She doesn’t hesitate, parting her thighs, and rewarding me with the best sight a man can receive. I’ve fucked many women—sometimes on their own, frequently two at a time, and occasionally in groups with my teammates—that I honestly should’ve seen it all by now, yet I don’t think I’ve seen a prettier pussy than the one Lacey proudly presents to me. Smooth, pale skin, pretty pink lips, and a hot pink jewelled piercing in the hood of her clit.

  Fuck me dead.

  Hands on the soft globes of her ass, I push her forward until there’s no space left between my mouth and her sweet spot. I lick her clit until her hands make their way to my hair, tugging and pulling as I work her over. Guttural sounds escape her, telling me she’s not far from coming. Letting go of her ass, I spread her lips with one hand, revealing her shiny nub. Sucking it into my mouth, I drive two fingers into her tight channel, bending them forward and rubbing that spot on the inside wall that sends all women wild. My dick strains against my jeans, wanting to join the party, but I ignore him for the moment.

  With her knees wobbling and her hips bucking, I send Lacey over the edge. The way she’s pulling my hair borders on painful, adding spice to the moment. When it looks like her legs are about to give out, I pull my fingers from her and hold her upright, still sucking her clit like a madman while she screams her pleasure.

  Once she’s finished, I help her lower her weight onto my lap, and wrap her legs around my waist. Taking her mouth with mine, I kiss her before pulling back and sliding the fingers I used on her into her mouth. “Suck.”

  Lacey does what she’s told, cleaning my fingers with relish.

  When she’s done, she scoots backward on my lap far enough that she can undo my jeans and release my cock. Moving to the side she wrestles my pants down my hips until she’s exposed my entire erection and half my thighs. I try my hardest to assist her, but my bloody knee sends shards of pain up my leg, forcing me to stay as still as I can. Realization that surgery definitely looms in my immediate future flits across my consciousness for a moment. I push it back into its box with the rest of the problems I’m ignoring at the moment.

  My heart’s pounding in my chest and my hands are shaking slightly, testament to how off my head I am at the moment, when I grab Lacey by the top of her arms and pull her back onto my lap.

  Angling her so she’s hovering over my cock, I coax her down, letting her take me inch by inch inside of her gorgeous body. Her walls clamp around me, squeezing tight, her slick heat engulfing me.

  “Fuck me sideways. You feel good.” I groan as she braces herself on her knees and starts to move.

  I should feel guilty. I’m taking advantage of her at her lowest since it’s highly fucking unlikely she’d be sliding up and down my cock if circumstances were different. There’s so many things wrong with this scenario that I don’t know where to begin. Lacey is Maddi’s best friend, she’s been through shit with Connor up and leaving her, she’s obviously struggling and using ice to mask her emotions, and her behavior isn’t normal no matter how much she protests that “she isn’t the innocent everyone thinks she is”.

  If I was a good man, I’d put a stop to this.

  But, I have no illusions about my virtues.

  The few that I had, once upon a time, are long dead. Doing the right thing didn’t stop my saint of a mother from dying, and it sure as shit, never had any bearing on the hurt thrown Maddi and Joel’s way.

  Why should I start worrying about doing the right thing now?

  One night in Lacey’s perfect pussy isn’t going to do her too much damage. She’s a big girl, she knows my reputation, so she should have a clear understanding that this will happen once.

  Twice, tops.

  The feeling of her hot, velvety cunt encasing my length drives all thoughts of doing the right thing from my mind. Grabbing her hips, I help her find the leverage necessary to rush both of us toward orgasm. Working in sync, we fall over the edge together in minutes. She slumps forward, laying her head on my shoulder as we pant in unison, our physical exertions lifting our mutual highs to a new level, adding an extra exhilarating element to our fucking.

  After giving Lacey a short time to regain her senses, I push against her shoulders so she’ll sit up and look at me. When I’m on drugs, my cock barely softens between bouts so I’m raring to go again.

  A crooked grin on my face, I wink at her. “Ready for round two?”

  “Just say the word, Benji...”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  LACEY

  Present Day

  “Spill!” Maddi demands the very moment the kitchen door swings shut behind us. She grabs my upper arm to force me to stop and listen when I try to bypass her. The other women who’ve gathered in the kitchen turn to watch, their expressions ranging from wary to outraged, as they look between the pair of us. My pulse pounds in my ears when I realize our showdown is about to happen.

  Right now.

  With almost every woman in the Club for an audience.

  Closing my eyes, I drag in a ragged breath. My eyes fly open when she grips my arm tighter and tugs me into motion behind her. She leads me to the service entry, smacking the door open with a palm, before pulling me into the yard. Maddi kicks the door with her heel once I’m through it, closing it and shutting out any potential spectators.

  Letting go of my arm, she looks at her right hand, closing it into a fist, before she shakes it out and shoves it into the pocket of her jeans. “That’s the only concession I’m making for you, Lacey.”

  I nod, slowly, unsure if she means not throwing a punch at me or having our discussion without onlookers.

  “Stop standing there shaking, I’m not going to fight you,” she barks at me, answering my unspoken question. Flicking her long, blonde hair over her shoulder, she turns her sharp gaze on me, pinning me to the spot. “As much as I’d love to belt both you and Benji for being so freaking stupid, I have more important problems to channel my energy into right now.”

  At the mention of her problems, Mad Dog and his horrible predicament returns to my thoughts.

  “I’m so sorry I haven’t been here to support you. I didn’t even know Mad Dog was...” I trail off when she takes a step back from me, out of reach of the hand I was extending to touch her with.

  “How would you know?” Maddi sneers. The cerulean blue of her eyes blazes at me, the temper I knew was simmering just below the surface finally igniting. “You’ve been too busy hiding from all of us. Too busy using crystal fucking meth with my brother. Too busy pretending that everything’s okay, that you don’t need any of us to help you now that Connor’s gone.”

  I recoil at her heated words, putting more space between us. This is why I didn’t tell her I was struggling. She’d take everything into her own hands and try to fix it all for me. Not that it’d do any good. I’m too far gone. Unfixable. Irrevocably broken. Connor began the process before he left; his departure finishing what he started. All my beautifully stubborn best friend is going to do when she realizes this fact is hurt herself. I don’t need that on my already tainted conscience.

  “Argh!” When I don’t answer her, she grabs her hair with both of her hands and pulls. “I don’t know who I’m more pissed at. You and Benji or myself for not seeing what was right in front of me. Do you know how stupid I felt when JJ told me you were using with Benji?”

  Shit. Dr. Patrice knows.

  Panic floods my veins, and heedless of the stupidity of my next move, I run forward and grab Maddi’s shoulders. She’s a tall woman. I’m barely to her chin, but the urgency and fear that has me in its grip, gives me the strength to shake her as I shoot question after question at her. “Tell me! What did she say? Is she going to report me? My God, Maddi, I can’t lose my job. I’ll lose my house. My career and my home are all I have left—”

  My knees give out under me, my legs turning to jelly as the seriousness of my predicament hits home. I drop to the ground, sliding down the front of my best friend’s body, my knees jarring as they hit the conc
rete surface. I fall forward, tears cascading down my cheeks, and avoid face planting only because of Maddi’s quick reflexes.

  Grasping me under the arms, she shuffles me next to the wall and pushes me into a slumped position against the building. Puffing from the effort of moving me, she sits next to me and grabs my closest hand.

  “Lacey. You need to calm down. JJ promised she wouldn’t say anything until I had time to speak to you. If you can make me believe that you’re not going to use anymore, then I think I can talk her into keeping quiet.”

  “I’m not going to touch the stuff again. I promise you.” Turning, I face her, my eyes wide and imploring. “Please, believe me.”

  Blowing out a large breath that lifts her fringe from her forehead, she shakes her head. Her expression is sad as her gaze moves over my face. “How can I believe you? I’ve heard all of these promises from Benji a million times. Addicts will say anything.”

  Mentally crossing my fingers as I prepare to lie, I take the biggest gamble of my life. “I’m not an addict, Maddi. I’ve only just started using. I can give it up at any time.”

  She regards me for a drawn-out moment, searching for clues to my sincerity, before she speaks. Her voice is strong, her countenance closed off, not giving me any cues to take a lead from.

  “Have you shot up with him?”

  With nothing in her gaze letting me gauge how much she knows, I take a stab in the dark.

  “No, I haven’t. Honest to God, I only smoke it and that’s only when I’m around Benji.” I send a fervent wish into the universe that nobody is struck dead at my next words. “I swear on my little brother’s life that I haven’t shot up. Hell, I swear on my entire family’s life that I haven’t.”

  Relief fills her face, and I let myself relax a little. I was just about certain that swearing on my little brother’s life would push her into believing me. To Maddi, oaths like this are serious business—even more so when it involves little brothers. With Benji as her twin, and three younger brothers, Maddi’s siblings are her Achilles heel and her greatest strength.