Sam started laughing. ‘For a moment there, I thought you said it was a badger.’
‘I did say it was a badger.’
‘You’re not thinking straight. Whatever’s in there is vicious and dangerous and badgers are non-threatening and cuddly and—’
‘No, you’re wrong, Sam. I saw a programme on honey badgers before,’ Amelia said. ‘They’re kind of tough.’
‘They’re more than tough. They’re super-intelligent and strong and they’re not afraid of anything,’ Chris said. ‘They’re one of the coolest creatures on the planet.’
‘Really? You think a badger’s cool?’
‘They’ll even take on lions in a fight,’ Chris said. ‘Would you take on a lion?’
‘Depends on the lion,’ Sam said. ‘All right, all right, I wouldn’t.’
Even though he could see it, Chris could hardly believe it. A honey badger. Right here. In a crate. In a farmhouse. In Newpark. He looked into the crate again. It seemed to have calmed down. It was sitting on a bed of straw, staring out at him.
It looks sad, he thought.
It was about a metre long and had black fur, with a thick grey-white stripe running from its eyeline to its tail. Now, it was on the move again, scurrying forward.
It slammed against the inside of the crate once more, shifting the entire thing forward another few centimetres.
‘It really is strong,’ Amelia said.
‘And it’s got these huge long claws and its skin can stop bullets and . . .’
Chris stopped talking.
‘And what, Chris?’
‘And it shouldn’t be here,’ he said.
‘So, I guess when Hannah said she thought these criminals were trading in rare items, one of those items turned out to be exotic pets.’
‘Looks like it, Sam,’ Amelia said.
‘Remember all that hair that was stuck to my T-shirt from the blanket that time we were trapped in the boot of the car? I think we know where that came from now. It wasn’t a dog, after all,’ Sam said.
‘Nope, not a dog. It was a honey badger. Why would anyone want a honey badger?’ Brian asked.
Chris didn’t look right. For a moment, they thought he might be having a panic attack. The change had come over him all of a sudden. None of them had ever seen him like this before. His nostrils flared, his jaw clenched and he looked as if he wanted to hit someone. Chris had never wanted to hit someone in his life.
‘So they could sell it. Because they’re money-grabbing, inconsiderate fools,’ Chris said. ‘They’ve taken this beautiful creature –’
Sam raised his eyebrows at that. The honey badger looked more scary than beautiful to him.
‘– from its natural environment so that some idiot can keep it as a pet? That’s not right.’
‘It’s terrible, but, unfortunately, it happens all over the world,’ Amelia said.
‘Well, it won’t happen here,’ Chris said.
‘I still don’t get it – why would anyone want a honey badger as a pet? I mean, I know people keep tigers and snakes and stuff, but a badger?’
‘We’ll figure that out later. You three go downstairs,’ Chris said. ‘Call Debra. And don’t give me a reason as to why you don’t want to call her. Just call her. And do it now. Is that clear?’
He said it so firmly, so authoritatively, that the others felt compelled to obey him.
‘Absolutely, no problem. We’ll do that,’ Brian said. ‘Are you going to be OK up here?’
He knew how fond Chris was of animals and he didn’t want him doing anything foolish.
Chris turned to him. ‘Just do as I say, Brian.’
‘Okey-doke, I think my brother has gone to a weird place, but I also think he’s right. This one needs the gardaí,’ Sam said. ‘We’re going downstairs now, Chris. Promise me you won’t let that thing out.’
‘How stupid do you think I am?’
Brian, Amelia and Sam stumbled down the stairs. Nobody’s legs seemed to be working properly. Chris unslung his rucksack from his shoulder and opened it up. He’d find what he was looking for in there. He was annoyed when he heard the footsteps on the landing.
‘What are you doing back here?’ Chris asked.
His three friends had just come back up the stairs.
‘We’ve got a problem,’ Sam said.
He’d been just about to ring Debra O’Loughlin when the Subaru Impreza roared into the yard.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Brian looked out of the upstairs window to the yard below as the car skidded to a halt, the trailer hitched to the back of it swinging wide as Lionel made a handbrake turn.
‘Anyone got any ideas, other than panicking wildly?’ Amelia asked.
‘Sam and Brian, get that front door locked quickly, then shove something heavy up against it,’ Chris said.
They were on it immediately, bounding down the stairs two at a time.
‘That won’t be enough to keep them out, will it?’ Amelia asked.
‘I just need to buy us a few minutes,’ Chris said.
When Lionel spotted Sam, he sprinted across the yard and shoulder-charged the door. Sam got it locked, just in time. Lionel hit the door with such force it shook on its hinges, but it held fast.
Brian was in the kitchen, pushing against a grimy old white fridge. It toppled over with a whoomph that was followed by a muffled metallic clang as it hit the ground.
Sam’s joy at locking the door was ended almost immediately when he saw that Burt had a bunch of keys in his hand. He was searching for the right one.
‘I need help,’ Brian called.
Sam joined Brian, and the two of them pushed the fridge – which was now lying on its side – along the floor. It was heavy, but a surge of adrenalin gave them a sudden burst of strength and energy. The moving fridge dug a furrow in the lino, but they made it into the hall and up to the door, just as Burt unlocked it and began to push his way in.
The fridge was enough to block the door from being opened any further. There was a gap between the door and frame now, about twenty centimetres, but it wasn’t enough to accommodate Burt’s bulk. He managed to get his foot through the gap and on top of the fridge, but he couldn’t haul the rest of himself through.
Brian and Sam kept their shoulders low, shoving the fridge against the door, trying desperately to close it, but Burt was pushing back. And Lionel was pushing Burt. Together, they were stronger than the two young Misfits. If the fridge hadn’t worked as a kind of wedge, they’d have been in the house already.
‘Guys?’ Brian shouted.
‘Keep them out for as long as you can,’ Amelia roared down the stairs. She turned to Chris. ‘Will this work?’
‘I haven’t a clue,’ he said. ‘I hope so.’
They’d crossed the hall to the room that overlooked the farmyard. The room had been painted a shockingly bright blue. They both had screwdrivers in their hands and they were unscrewing the lock on the door. Chris looked over his shoulder. He’d left the door of the room on the other side of the hall open and he could see the honey badger’s crate. He could hear it moving around in there. It was restless and they were anxious.
‘It’s not going to be able to get out of there, is it?’ Amelia asked.
‘They’re able to use tools to escape. I’ve seen a documentary where they worked as a team to open gates.’
‘That doesn’t make me any less nervous,’ Amelia said. ‘What do we do if it breaks out? Will it eat me?’
‘They are mainly carnivorous, but it’s very unlikely that it’ll eat us,’ Chris said.
‘Very unlikely isn’t reassuring enough,’ Amelia said.
‘If it escapes, run. And don’t let it catch you.’
The lock case was loosening. Another minute or so and they’d have the lock and handle out of the door. They worked feverishly, even though Amelia still wasn’t clear why they were doing what they were doing. Surely, they should be securing themselves somewhere rather than making it easier for
someone to get in. With the lock and handle gone the only way to keep the door closed would be to lean up against it, otherwise anyone could easily push it open. She hoped Chris knew what he was doing.
There was another growl from the badger room opposite. The growl reminded her that all that stood between them and a scary animal was a wooden crate that was a lot flimsier than she would have liked.
‘Just hang in there, Claws,’ Chris whispered.
‘Did you just give it a name?’ Amelia asked.
‘Yes, Claws O’Toole. I think it suits him,’ Chris said.
He’s definitely not himself, Amelia thought.
Downstairs, Sam and Brian were feeling the strain. They didn’t know how much longer they could keep the two men out of the house. Lionel had his shoulder in the small of Burt’s back. He shoved his brother forward.
‘Easy, Lionel, you’re squashing my guts.’
Lionel ignored him. They were gaining a few centimetres with every passing minute. Now, Burt’s face was pressed up against the door, distorting his features. He swore wildly, inventively and unintelligibly.
‘Let us in,’ Lionel said. ‘We don’t want to hurt you. We just want to take what’s ours.’
‘You mean . . . the badger?’ Brian said.
‘So, you’ve seen that, huh? Vicious little beggar. Nearly took my brother’s hand off.’
Lionel gave a tremendous shove and the door opened another little bit. Half of Burt’s belly jiggled into view.
‘Just to be clear, it’s not illegal to own an exotic pet in Ireland,’ Lionel said. ‘There’s no law against it. You’re the ones breaking the law here.’
Brian didn’t know if that was true, but even if owning an exotic pet wasn’t against the law it was wrong. And stealing the creature from its homeland had to be wrong too.
They weren’t going to be able to hold out much longer. Sam gave a grunt and tried his best to force the fridge forward. It didn’t make any difference. Lionel and Burt were too strong for them. It was men against boys. They were almost in now.
Lionel stopped for a moment when he peered over Burt’s shoulder and recognized Brian. ‘Wait a second, I thought it was you again. Why do you keep turning up everywhere we go? What’s your problem with us? All we’re trying to do is make a living.’
‘By stealing,’ Brian panted.
‘When we get in there, you’re going to pay for emptying that bottle of cola over me head,’ Burt said.
‘I really . . . enjoyed that. Made you . . . look like an idiot. Although that was . . . easy . . . since you’re already . . . halfway there.’
He knew he shouldn’t have said it, but he couldn’t help himself. It only spurred the brothers on.
‘That . . . wasn’t . . . helpful,’ Sam groaned.
‘You’re dead,’ Burt said.
‘Don’t you get . . . tired of saying that? You really need to come up . . . with some new threats,’ Brian said. ‘Show a bit of imagination.’
‘Would you . . . please stop . . . antagonizing them,’ Sam wheezed.
They heard scraping sounds coming from upstairs, as if Amelia and Chris were moving a fridge up there too. They had no idea what was going on, but less than a minute later, when Brian and Sam were on their very last legs, Amelia appeared beside them. She was carrying a sweeping brush she’d found. She began to poke Burt in the belly with the tip of its handle.
‘Stop it,’ Burt yelped.
‘You ready?’ she asked Brian and Sam.
They twisted as much as they could until they were looking up at her.
‘Yeah,’ Sam said.
‘Then move.’
She flipped the sweeping brush around then pressed the head, with all its soft bristles, in Burt’s face. He spluttered and jerked backwards, losing a little ground. Amelia dropped the brush, turned and raced away. Brian and Sam weren’t sure what she was up to, but they followed her.
As they reached the stairs, they heard Lionel and Burt pushing the fridge back. Moments later, they were in the house.
Brian had only made it to the second step when he saw the wooden crate sitting at the top of the stairs. That was the scraping sound they’d heard – Chris and Amelia had moved it into position.
Amelia squeezed between the crate and the banister. Sam followed her. Brian was the last to slip through the gap and into the upstairs hall, just as Lionel and Burt arrived below.
They stopped dead and looked up at the Misfits standing above them.
‘What are you going to do? Push the crate down on top of us? Do you really think that’s going to wor—’
Amelia and Chris gave the heavy crate a single shove. It slipped over the lip of the top step. Gravity took over and it tumbled down the stairs. Amelia saw the fear on Lionel and Burt’s faces before they took swift evasive action by running towards the front door.
‘Follow me,’ Chris said to Sam and Brian. He turned to Amelia. ‘Are you sure about this?’
‘I’m the fastest,’ she said.
Lionel dialled a number on his mobile.
‘We have them trapped, but we need your help,’ he said into the phone, before ending the call.
The crate lay at the bottom of the stairs. The lid had popped off and jewellery, art work and several antique pieces that the brothers had stolen over the last few months had spilled out on to the grimy floor. Burt walked across the different piles of necklaces and bracelets and jade earrings and kicked an antique clock out of his way. His foot tore through the canvas of a painting from a Dutch master. He shook it off and angrily flung the painting back towards the front door.
When Lionel looked up, there was no sign of any of the Misfits.
He pushed Burt ahead of him.
‘Why do I have to go first?’
‘Ugliest ones always go first,’ Lionel said.
They climbed the stairs cautiously, wary of another crate bouldering down. There wasn’t a sound. Nobody was moving up there. The men looked at each other and took deep breaths. What were they waiting for? It was only a bunch of kids they were up against.
They reached the landing. Still no sign of anyone. The second crate was in the hallway, blocking the door to the first room off the landing, the room with the fireplace where Brian had found the two crates. There was just enough space to squeeze by and continue down the hall to the other two rooms, but Burt would have to suck in his stomach. Lionel nodded to his brother. The kids could be hiding in that fireplace room using the crate to block the doorway in a pathetic attempt to keep them out. If they were in there, they were trapped.
Lionel nodded to Burt, a signal to move the crate out of the way. Before Burt could get started, they both heard the urgent whispering coming from the end of the hallway.
Lionel took a step forward, the floorboard creaked and the whispering stopped. He smiled to himself. There was nowhere for the children to go. The only way they could leave the room without having to pass him in the hall was by leaping out of the window and they weren’t going to do that.
Another five or six steps and he’d be there. Dumb kids, he thought. Why did they think hiding up here was a good idea?
They reached the end of the corridor and looked to the badger room on the left. The creature wasn’t going crazy in its crate, so that meant the kids weren’t in that room, Lionel reckoned. Whoever had been doing all the whispering was in the bright blue room on the right.
The door to that room was wide open. The men had a clear view of the retina-burning blue inside. There was no sign of anyone, but the window was open.
‘On the ledge,’ Burt whispered. He nodded in the direction of the window.
Lionel didn’t agree. If they were on the ledge, they’d see them, wouldn’t they? Even if they were hanging by their fingertips? Surely, they hadn’t jumped down . . .
Amelia hadn’t jumped. She was less than two metres away, hoping the men wouldn’t hear her heart thumping against her ribcage. She was pressed against the wall of the blue room, hidden in t
he small gap between the wall and the open door.
Lionel took a step towards the window, just to make sure. He craned his neck and looked out. ‘They’re not there,’ he whispered.
When Amelia was certain the men had stepped far enough into the room, she began to creep out. As she pushed the door back in order to slip away, the hinges gave a little squeak.
Lionel heard her move and sighed. ‘We’ve locked the front door and we have reinforcements on the way. You might as wel—’
Amelia was fast and had escaped into the hall and was gone before he’d turned round. Lionel was about to take off after her when he was halted in his tracks. He saw something in the badger room across the hall that confused him. Chris was sitting on top of the honey badger’s crate. The bottom three bolts were opened; he had his hands on the top two.
‘What are you doing?’ Lionel asked.
Chris didn’t answer. Before Lionel or Burt could move, he’d slipped the final bolts from their receivers, then swung the door of the crate open.
‘No!’ Burt cried.
Further down the hall, Brian and Sam had emerged from where they’d been hiding – behind a crate in the fireplace room – and pushed that crate forward, until it toppled through the door. It was just large enough to block the hall. There was no way to get from the badger or blue room at the end of the hall back to the stairs without climbing over it.
The honey badger growled softly as it click-clacked across the hall, pausing briefly to glance around before heading for the blue room where Lionel and Burt were frozen to the spot.
‘Shut the door,’ Lionel screeched.
With the creature so close, Burt didn’t want to get too near to it. He stuck out a leg and kicked the door. It swung shut, hitting the frame, then slowly swung open again.
Lionel realized why it hadn’t clicked shut – the handle and lock were missing. Someone had taken them. Amelia and Chris.
‘There’s a good boy,’ Burt said. ‘Nice honey badger.’
There was nothing to keep the creature out of the room now and it stalked in, baring its vicious little teeth as the two men backed away.
The Misfits Club Page 19