All She Ever Wanted (Cedar Valley Novel Book 1)

by Christina Butrum

  Ignoring her, Rachel lit the cigarette and blew smoke the other way. “These are my lifeline.”

  “Anyway…” Leah said, glaring at Rachel. “He showed me his town, it’s only fair that I show him my city.”

  “He showed you his, so you show him yours kinda thing?” Rachel said, chuckling.

  “You’re so immature.”

  “Look who’s talking,” Rachel said. She plopped hard into the couch, and grabbed the ashtray. “You should definitely show him around the city.”

  Leah finished typing her message to Liam and set her phone down. She would have to figure out their plans for this weekend, if he wasn’t busy. She needed to pick a nice restaurant and a few other places to show him. She made it a point to jot down a few of her favorite places. She could only hope that he’d enjoy the places as much as she did.

  * * *

  “I’ll let you get to that,” Rachel said, pointing to Liam. “I have to get ready for my hot date,” Rachel said, squishing the butt of her cigarette into the ashtray. “I don’t want to keep him waiting too long.”

  “A hot date? With whom?” Leah asked, following her down the hallway as she held up a finger, and told Liam to wait a minute.

  Smiling, he said, “I’ll be here.”

  Laughing, Rachel walked into her room and shut the door. “Don’t be thinking you’re the only one with luck, hon.”

  Leah rolled her eyes and talked through the door. “If it’s with Scott, you can just say so. No need to keep it a secret.”

  Scott had been dating Rachel on and off since her divorce. They’d been friends through high school. Scott had been Jake’s best friend and still was. They had partied together through the years, and everywhere Scott was, Jake was right there with him.

  “Lee, I’m not keeping it a secret,” Rachel said, cracking the door open just enough for Leah to see the huge smile on her face. She stretched her left hand through the crack to show Leah the huge rock on her finger.

  Shrieks could’ve been heard from blocks away. Leah covered her mouth with both hands. “When’d he do that?”

  She shoved the door open and hugged her. Jumping up and down, they stopped only when Liam appeared in the doorway, laughing with amusement. Hugging her close, she said, “Rach, I’m so happy for you!”

  “He proposed last night on our night out. I was going to show you, but you had already passed out.”

  “I can’t believe it! I’m so excited for you!” She said, wrapping her arms around Rachel and hugging her tight.

  “Congrats,” Liam said, pointing to the ring. “Who’s the lucky man?”

  Blushing, Rachel said, “Scott. He should be here any minute and you can meet him.”

  They walked through the apartment, Leah quickly picked up a few of her clothes that were scattered across the hallway floor. Smiling at Liam, she tossed them in a nearby basket.

  “I’m glad you found your way here,” she said, offering him a cold drink from the fridge. “The city streets can be hectic.”

  “You can say that again,” he said, taking a seat next to her on the couch. “It’s not even five o’clock and the streets are overwhelming.”

  Her phone dinged and rattled against the coffee table. She had one new message on top of the other three she had waited on from earlier. She opened the old ones and read them first.

  Can we meet somewhere, please?

  I really want to see you.

  Lee, please?

  All of them were from Jake—thirty minutes apart.

  She opened the new message.

  I’m going to call you

  Her phone ringing in her hand startled her. She was going to ignore it. She should have ignored it.

  “Hello.”

  “Lee, you answered?”

  “What do you want?”

  She waited, in irritation, for his reply—more irritated now because he was interrupting her time with Liam.

  “Have you been getting my messages?”

  “Yes.” Glancing at Liam, she tried to mouth who it was on the phone. Liam raised an eyebrow and took a seat by her.

  “Why haven’t you been responding, then?”

  She contemplated hanging up, but heard the plea in his voice. His voice was shaking—he was nervous.

  “I didn’t know I had to respond to an ex.” Liam sat forward, placing his elbows on his knees as he cracked his knuckles.

  “Lee, don’t be like this,” he said, clearing his throat. “I miss you, and I still love you.”

  “I got that message.”

  “Lee, just hear me out, please?”

  “Jake, I gotta go.”

  “Lee, wait.”

  Wait. Like she had told him to do the night at the bar. She steadied the phone against her ear and sighed.

  “What do you want from me?”

  “Lee, I want to make it up to you.”

  “It’s been five years, Jake.” She could feel the tension radiate from Liam as he impatiently waited for the conversation to end.

  “I know how long it’s been, and I regret it.”

  “Then why’d you do it?” her voice quivered with emotion. She quickly cleared it before she had anymore issues to deal with. She had to stay strong and finish this conversation without letting him get the best of her. She hoped it’d end soon, she didn’t have much time.

  “Can I come over?”

  “No, you can’t come over.” She rubbed her forehead.

  Standing abruptly from the couch, Liam crossed his arms—a look of impatience on his face.

  “Please, Lee,” Jake pleaded. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Please?”

  “You can’t,” Leah said, her head spun with a thousand emotions and thoughts.

  “Why can’t I?” Jake asked. “Give me one good reason why I can’t.”

  “Liam’s here,” she said, looking at Liam across the room. “You need to leave me alone.”

  “The guy from the bar?” Jake hollered into the phone. “You’re dating the damned bartender now? You’re such a dirty…”

  She ended the call before she regretted it.

  12

  Not about to let the call ruin her time with Liam, she left her phone on the counter and grabbed her purse, “What do you say we get out of here before another unwelcome distraction comes along?”

  The hesitation she felt when Liam stood from his chair made her cringe. She regretted answering the phone while Liam was there—hell, she shouldn’t have answered it period.

  “Ready?” she asked, opening the door, while motioning for Liam to follow her out.

  In one quick motion, he shut the door, holding it shut with one hand.

  “Liam,” she said, speaking softly. Fear-twisted knots filled her stomach. “What’s...”

  “No, I’m not ready,” he said without moving his hand. “We need to talk about this.”

  Taking a step back, she allowed herself a minute to process what was happening. “What are you talking about?”

  Running an agitated hand through his hair, Liam stepped aside and said, “This whole situation. Us, you, Jake…”

  “What does Jake have to do with us?”

  “I told you that I’m not up for competition,” he said, running another unsteady hand through his hair.

  “You’re not…” Leah said. Crossing her arms in front of her, she leaned against the wall. “There isn’t any competition where Jake is concerned.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  Taken aback by his question, she raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on her hip. “What kind of question is that?”

  “I’d like to know what you would’ve said to him if I hadn’t been standing here listening.”

  “I would’ve said the same damned thing I did say,” Leah said, pissed at his accusatory tone.

  Storming into the kitchen, she grabbed for a glass from the cupboard. Pouring coffee, she heard his footsteps as he followed her around the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

 
“Maybe you should just leave,” she said, slamming the fridge shut.

  “What? Why?” he asked, leaning against the fridge. “Why are you so upset?”

  Ignoring him, she made her way to the couch, opening the door and motioning him to exit, on her way by—Liam ignored her gesture and followed her into the living room. Grabbing the remote, she turned the tv on and Liam shut it off. He sat down on the edge of the coffee table, keeping her in front of him.

  “I’m not going anywhere, so you might as well tell me why you’re so upset,” he said.

  Still pissed off and debating what to do next, she crossed her legs and sipped her coffee. She hated the fact that this whole night she had planned for them was ruined by a stupid phone call from Jake. Had he not called, she and Liam would be enjoying the evening out in the city.

  “Leah,” he said, speaking softly—his tone calm. He placed a hand on her knee, giving it a gentle shake until she looked at him. “I’m not wanting to make this a big deal.”

  “I knew I wasn’t ready for this,” she said, tossing her head back.

  “Ready for what?”

  “This,” she said, motioning between the both of them. “Us, everything.”

  “I’m not asking for much, Leah,” he said, taking back his hand from her leg. “Just be honest with me.”

  That was easier said than done. She had no problem being honest if she knew what to say or how to say it without sounding like a complete idiot.

  “There’s nothing between us,” she said, taking another sip of her coffee. “Jake and I were done the minute he walked away five years ago.”

  She tossed a pillow to the side and sat up, crossing her legs Indian-style, while holding her cup. “There’s nothing between Jake and me,” she said, thinking about Jake’s messages and phone call.

  “Then why’s he still calling you?”

  “He said he misses me and still loves me,” she said, keeping her eyes focused on the floor, so Liam wouldn’t see the emotion stirring like crazy in her eyes.

  “Do you still love him?”

  Feeling like he had just smacked her, she looked up, meeting his eyes with hers. How was she to answer this question—of course she still didn’t love him, but he had been her one true love, and those feelings don’t just disappear over the years.

  “Okay,” Liam said, shifting in his seat and standing up.

  He was gone before she could tell him to wait—taking her plans for the night, and her heart, with him.

  * * *

  “What do you mean he just left?”

  Pacing around the apartment, Leah threw her arms up. “He left. You know, walked out of the apartment, got in his truck and took off.”

  “Why’d he leave?”

  Frustrated, Leah explained the whole conversation to Rachel.

  “And you just let him leave? You couldn’t have said anything to make him stay?” Hesitation allowed Rachel to continue hammering questions at her. “You couldn’t run after him?”

  “Will you knock it off,” Leah said, running a hand through her hair. “What was I supposed to say?”

  “Lee, come on,” Rachel said. Grabbing Leah’s hand, she pulled her to the couch. Leah took a seat and raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms. “You could’ve started with how you feel. You know deep down you really don’t give a shit about Jake.”

  Before Leah could defend herself, Rachel held up a finger and said, “You could’ve said something… anything… to make that poor, good-looking man know that he’s the only one you truly want.”

  Picking up her phone, she checked for new messages—none. He hadn’t replied to the one she had sent him shortly after he left.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” Rachel asked, with a what-the-hell-were-you-thinking look on her face. “You know damned well that you don’t care about Jake. Sure, you feel something now because you just seen him, but you hadn’t felt jack-crap about him for the last five years. You know as well as I do that you’re over him and you’re ready to move on.”

  Still not done with her lecture, Rachel pointed a finger at Leah and said, “You’re just scared.”

  She was right. The feelings for Jake that had resurfaced the night of their reunion were gone. Rachel called it like she saw it. She was scared—scared to give her all and have it not be good enough… scared to fall in love and face another broken heart when Liam called it quits.

  “You can’t just sit here and let a good thing walk away,” she said, lighting a cigarette. Blowing the smoke in the other direction, she said, “He’s not going to hurt you, Lee. He’s a grown-ass man with priorities. If he didn’t want to be with you, he wouldn’t have spent the only free time he has with you.”

  Rachel fanned the smoke away from them as she leaned forward in her chair. She patted Leah’s knee and said, “It’s time for you to let go of that fear that’s holding you back, and move forward.”

  Scrolling through her messages on the phone, Leah nodded.

  “You need to get a hold of him, Lee,” Rachel said. “And never let him go.”

  She had never wanted anyone to respond to her messages as much as she wanted Liam to, right now.

  13

  “I’m not sure this is any of my business,” the woman said, looking at her husband, who rolled his eyes—almost knowing well enough what his wife was about to say. He turned his attention back to the newspaper, ignoring his wife.

  The woman cleared her throat, scanning the waiting area for listening ears before she said, “Rosie mentioned to me that she had overheard a conversation the other day about Liam, and,” she cleared her throat again at the sound of her husband’s detested sigh. Her eyes narrowed at her husband—even though he ignored her. The woman shooed a hand in her husband’s direction and said, “Anyway, as I was saying, Rosie said that she heard it was you that he may be seeing these days.”

  Leah held her gaze steady with this woman at the desk—speechless. She had no idea how to respond to this woman. “I’ll let the doctor know you’re here.”

  As the woman walked to her seat, Leah heard the husband ask his wife what the big deal with the gossip was, and why they couldn’t just go one day without all the drama. Leah smiled when she heard the woman apologize, with distaste in her voice.

  The workday had started an hour ago, and she was going to lose her mind. She hadn’t heard from Liam and she couldn’t help but think the worst. And then here was this nosey lady budging her nose into the whole situation.

  Leah watched as the nosey lady came walking toward her desk once again. When the woman leaned her heavy arms on the desk, Leah asked, “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

  Once again, the woman looked at her husband, who seemed to shake his head in response to what she was about to say. Leah wished the woman had listened to her husband the first time—if she had listened, Leah could get on with her work.

  The woman clasped her hands together on top of Leah’s desk. “I’d like to apologize for coming off as a nosey gossip queen, like my husband likes to call me,” she sneered toward her husband, who in turn rolled his eyes and held up the newspaper. “But… I do have to know one thing.”

  Leah sat there—frozen—wishing one of the nurses would come out and call this woman back to see the doctor. The woman tapped her long pointed finger on her chin for a good while. Leah felt sick to her stomach, with her heart pounding in her chest. Her palms were sweaty and her knees weakened. She hated it when she was put on the spot like this. She didn’t have the answers to this woman’s questions, and even if she did, why was it her business anyway?

  “What are your plans with Mr. Liam?”

  “You know, that’s a good question,” she said, irritated with the nerve of this woman who just wouldn’t give up. With Liam not talking to her, she had no idea what they were anymore. “Maybe you should ask him.”

  Chuckling, the husband folded the newspaper and tossed it on the nearby table. The woman walked away, leaving Leah with a feeling o
f satisfaction, from the priceless look on the old woman’s face.

  She overheard the woman explain to her husband that she didn’t really care either way what Liam was up to, she was only trying to strike up a conversation.

  “What’s that smirk about?” The nurse whispered, leaning against the desk.

  Shaking her head, she handed the nurse a chart. “You know, I have no clue why everyone’s so nosey.”

  “In reference to what?”

  Leah hid her finger behind her computer, pointing in the direction of the couple. “The older woman over there.” The nurse followed the direction of her finger with her eyes.

  “What about her?”

  “She wanted to know what my plans were with a certain someone I’ve been seeing.”

  Chuckling, the nurse grabbed the chart from Leah. Leah whispered, “Her husband was even irritated with her!”

  Leah laughed with her, even though she had been quite annoyed. “Maybe she knows this certain someone,” the nurse offered. Leah rolled her eyes. “I’m sure she meant no harm. She’s probably just looking out for him. Maybe he’s had a run of bad luck with women in the past and she wants to make sure you won’t be like all the others.”

  Shrugging, Leah wasn’t convinced that this woman was only asking out of the best interest of Liam. She watched the woman as she met the nurse and continued down the hall toward the doctor’s office.

  When her phone vibrated, disappointment set in as she realized it wasn’t Liam who had texted her. She made it a point to send him another message. This time, apologizing, and asking him to please talk to her. If he didn’t respond to her messages—and soon—she was going to go crazy.

  * * *

  She grabbed a pen off the counter and left a quick note for Rachel. Rachel had gone out with Scott the night before, so she wouldn’t see the note for a while, but Leah left it anyway—a reassurance measure that, one day, wouldn’t exist once they moved on in life and away from each other. The thought brought a tinge of sadness, but a lot of hope for both of their futures.