Finally she turned her face partway toward him. “I’m sorry. I...I used to know him and I really dislike him. Thanks for coming over.”
“Sure.” A few more weeds hit the pile. “I like helping you, you know.”
“Thanks.”
“I like it a lot.” He wanted to protect her from people like the guy who’d just passed by. He wanted to protect her full-time. Of course, he mainly wanted to marry her for Xavier’s sake. That was all.
He reached across her to tug on a vine. Their hands brushed.
He was expecting her to jerk away, but she didn’t; she just went a little still.
That gave him the hope he needed. “You still haven’t answered my question,” he said quietly.
“What question was that?”
“About whether you’d marry me.”
She laughed a little. “Oh, that.”
“Yes, that. Have you thought about it?”
She shut her eyes for a moment. “I’ve hardly thought of anything else.”
“And?”
“And...I don’t know.”
“Fair enough,” he said. “But is there anything I could do to help you decide?”
She gave him a narrow-eyed look and for a moment, he thought she was going to scold him. “Yes,” she said finally. “You could tell me why you want to do it.”
“That’s easy. I want to do it because Xavier wants a dad. And because I like helping you.”
Her mouth got a pinched look. If he hadn’t known better, he’d have thought she felt hurt. “Those aren’t...those aren’t the reasons people get married.”
“Are they bad reasons, though?”
She shook her head, staring at the ground. “They’re not bad, no. They’re fine. Kind. Good.”
“Then what’s standing in the way?”
She shrugged, looked away. There was a fine film of tears over her eyes. “Nothing. I don’t know.”
“Look,” he said, touching her under the chin with one finger, lifting her face toward his. “Let’s do it. Let’s surprise Xavier.” He didn’t know what was making him force the issue.
Maybe something he saw in her eyes. Some part of her wanted to. And maybe it was for Xavier, or mostly so; but he had a funny feeling that she saw him as a man and was drawn to him.
“We’d be doing it for Xavier.” She stared at him, her eyes huge.
“Yes, for Xavier. So, are you saying yes?”
“I think I am.”
He nodded. “Then...let’s seal it with a kiss.” He leaned over and ever so gently brushed her lips with his.
It was meant to be just a friendly peck on the lips, but he lingered a couple of seconds, feeling the tingle of awareness he’d felt before but something else, too, something deeper.
She gasped and jerked away. “We’ll...have to figure out...what kind of boundaries...” She trailed off, still staring at him. “You know.”
She looked so appealing that he wanted to kiss her again, a real kiss. But the defenseless look on her face got to him and he pulled her into his arms, as slow and light and careful as if she were a wounded animal. “We’ll figure it out,” he whispered into her soft, dark hair.
* * *
“Mom! Can I? Can I?”
Angelica turned away from the church group and from Troy, standing just a little too close for comfort, to greet her son. It was late afternoon, and they were all saying their goodbyes in front of the weeded, remulched Senior Towers gardens.
Running ahead of Becka and her mom, Xavier looked so...normal. His striped shirt was mud-stained, his legs pumping sturdily beneath thrift-store gym shorts. Joy flooded her to see how healthy he looked. And what a relief to get out of the sticky, messy, impossibly emotional situation with Troy and back to what grounded her.
“Can you what, honey?” She knelt to catch Xavier as he ran into her arms, relishing the sweaty, little-boy smell of him.
“Can I play soccer with Becka? Her mom is the coach of the team!”
She hugged him close. “We’ll see.”
“You say that when you mean no!” Xavier pulled away. “Please, Mom?”
Becka and her mom arrived and Angelica stood up. “Thanks so much for watching him,” she said.
“Well, I may have done something wrong.” Becka’s mom wore shorts and a T-shirt, her hair back in a no-nonsense ponytail under a baseball cap. “Becka and I were talking about soccer practice tonight, and when Xavier was interested, I told him he could join the team.”
Angelica felt her eyebrows draw together. “Hmm. I’m not sure.”
“Mom!”
“We’ll have to see.” Angelica bit her lip. She wanted him to be able to do it, to do everything a normal, healthy boy could do, but... “Soccer’s pretty strenuous, isn’t it?”
“At this age? No more so than normal play.” Linda Mason gave her trademark grin. “The kids run around a lot, yeah. And I try to teach them some skills. But it’s not competitive. It’s just for fun.”
“Practice is tonight, Mom!”
“Tonight?” Xavier hadn’t had his usual afternoon rest. “I don’t think so, sweetie. That’s just too much.”
A light touch warmed her shoulder. Troy. Her heart skittered as she looked back at him.
He raised an eyebrow, squeezed her shoulder once and then reached out to shake Linda’s hand. “Hey, Linda. He’d need a sports physical anyway, wouldn’t he?”
“Exactly.” Linda nodded. “What we could do, if you don’t think it’s too much, is to have him come over to the park for a half-hour practice session I do with some of the kids, before the official practice. But you’re right, Troy, he couldn’t actually be on the team until getting a physical.”
Angelica flashed Troy a grateful smile. She hadn’t known that kids needed physicals for team sports, and it made the perfect delay tactic.
Xavier’s face fell, and tears came to his eyes. “I just wanna play!”
“Then you have to get a physical, buddy!” Angelica gave him a one-armed hug. “All the kids have to get physicals. I’m sure Becka did, right?”
“Yeah, and I had to get a shot.”
Xavier grimaced. “Yuck.”
As the kids started comparing horror stories about doctors and needles, the three adults sat down on the bench outside the Senior Towers. “I’m really sorry,” Linda said. “I didn’t mean to get him all excited. But he seems like a great kid, and he had so much fun kicking around a ball with Becka. I’m sure he’d be good at soccer.”
“We’ll see what the doctor says,” Troy said.
Angelica stared at him. “Excuse me?”
“Um, I’m going to go check on the kids.” Linda looked from one to the other, frank curiosity in her eyes. “If that half-hour practice is okay, I’ll walk them over to the park. Come on over and watch.”
“Okay,” Angelica said distractedly as Linda herded the kids toward the park. What did Troy mean, acting as if he had some say in Xavier’s life? “Look, I’m sure you didn’t mean it this way, but it sounded like you thought we’d all go to the doctor together.”
“That’s what I was thinking.” Troy raised his eyebrows and met her eyes. “Is that a problem?”
“I don’t want you to think you’re the authority on Xavier after knowing him for, what, three weeks?”
“I can tell,” Troy said mildly. “But after all, I’m going to be his father.”
Angelica stared at him, momentarily speechless. Adrenaline flooded her body, and her breathing quickened.
She’d have to set some boundaries. She was so used to having full say about Xavier and what he did, how he lived—whether he could play soccer, for instance—and now Troy was wanting to get all high-handed.
In most matters, she’d be fine col
laborating with Troy. But where Xavier was concerned, not so much.
“Some people say a two-parent family is good for this very reason.” Troy sounded maddeningly calm. “A lot of moms are a little more protective. Dads help kids get out there and see the world.”
“Look, you have no experience being a parent, and you don’t know what Xavier’s been through.”
“Come on, let’s walk. You want to see him play, don’t you?”
“Um...yes! Of course!” Angelica stood, feeling a stiffness in her neck that bespoke a headache to come. “But we’re not done talking about this.”
How had Troy so smoothly taken control? She had to admit, looking up at him as he strode by her side, ushering her around a broken spot in the sidewalk, nodding to people he knew, that something about his confidence felt good. That it attracted her. She had to admit it, but... “Listen, this is making me a little uncomfortable,” she said. “I’m used to having control of Xavier, and I’m not sure I’m willing to give that up.”
He nodded. “I understand. I feel like I should have some say, but of course, you’re his mom.”
“And I make the decisions.”
He slanted his eyes down at her. “Right. Okay. You make...the final decisions. Right.”
She had to laugh. “Boy, that was pretty hard for you to say. Control much, do you?”
“You know me.”
She did. She’d known him for a long time. But this new, older version, a little less driven, a little more humble... Wow. Despite all the craziness in her life, a core of excitement and hope was building inside her.
They approached the park together. Large oaks and maples provided shade against the late-afternoon sun, shining bright in a sky spotted with a few puffy white clouds. Kids shouted and ran around the old-fashioned swings and slide. Ragweed and earth scents mingled with the savory smell of someone’s grilled burgers.
On the other side of town, a train on its late afternoon run made a forlorn whistle.
A family sprawled on a blanket together: Mom, Dad, a boy about Xavier’s age and a toddler girl with curly red hair and an old-fashioned pink romper. The little girl put her arms around the boy and hugged him, and the father and mother exchanged a smile. Angelica’s heart caught. That was what she’d always longed for: a loving man who could share in the raising of the children. A little sister for Xavier.
But that wasn’t in the cards for her. What Troy was proposing was purely a marriage of convenience. She had to remember the limits, the reason he’d proposed at all: he wanted to help her, and especially to help Xavier. It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t love. Nothing of the kind. Troy was a rescuer, and she and Xavier just so happened to be in need of some rescuing.
They walked over to the area where Linda was leading Xavier, Becka and three other kids through some soccer drills. “He seems to be doing okay,” Troy said. “What do you think?”
Tugging her thoughts away from what couldn’t be changed, she studied her son, noticing the high spots of color in his cheeks. “He’s getting tired. But I’ll let him stay for the half hour. I’ll make sure he gets some extra rest tomorrow.”
They sat down on the bleachers by the soccer field. Troy took her hand and squeezed it, and warmth and impossible hope flooded through her.
“We should talk about those other boundaries,” Troy said.
“What...oh.” When she saw the meaningful look in his eyes she knew exactly what he was talking about. The physical stuff.
“I’m attracted to you. You can probably tell.”
Angelica looked down. She was attracted to him, too, or she thought she was. What else would her breathless, excited feeling be about? But she was too afraid to say so. Too afraid to tell him about all her issues. She pulled her hand away and pressed her lips together to keep herself from blurting out this shameful part of her past.
After a minute, he let out a sigh. “We don’t have to hold hands or kiss or anything like that. I know you’re doing this for Xavier, not for love. I want the same thing. I want to take care of you and Xavier, but I won’t put pressure on you.”
“Right.” Her heart felt as if it were shrinking in her chest.
“Now, what about our...personal lives?” He looked at her sideways, raising an eyebrow.
Did he have any idea how handsome he was? “What?”
“I mean your...social life.”
What was he talking about?
“Other men, Angelica.”
“Other...ooooh.” She shook her head. “It’s not an issue. I don’t date.” In fact, she’d never really been in love with anyone but Troy.
“You sure?” He looked skeptical.
“I’m sure!” She looked away. This was the best someone like her could hope for.
Other families were arriving for the soccer game. Mothers in pretty clothes with designer handbags, kids with proper soccer garb. In her garden-stained jeans and T-shirt, carrying her discount-store purse, Angelica wondered if she could ever fit in. If the other families would look askance at Xavier for his murky background, his lack of a father, his mismatched, thrift-shop clothes.
Being with Troy was a chance to be a real part of the community. She wouldn’t impose on him to buy her fancy things, but she’d happily accept decent clothing and soccer duds for Xavier. Would happily accept Troy’s good name in the town, too, paving the way for her son to be accepted and have friends.
Troy was giving her a lot, and he was even saying he wouldn’t expect the physical side of marriage in return.
She should be grateful instead of wanting more.
Chapter Six
Two days later, on a rainy Monday, Angelica was cleaning out kennels when the door burst open and two women stalked in, slamming it behind them.
“Where is he?” one of them asked loudly over the dogs’ barking.
She started to put down her shovel and then paused, wondering if she should keep it for self-defense. “Where’s who?”
“The boy. Xavier.”
Angelica’s fingers tightened on the handle of the shovel. “Why do you want to see Xavier?”
As the dogs’ barking subsided, one of the women stepped forward into the light, and Angelica recognized her. “Daisy! I haven’t seen you in—”
Troy’s sister, Daisy, held out one hand like a stop sign. “Don’t try to be nice.”
Angelica studied the woman she’d once called a friend. Just a couple of years older than Angelica, she wore purple harem pants and a gold shirt. Her hair flowed down her shoulders in red curls, and rings glittered on every finger. Short, adorably chubby and always full of life, she’d been Angelica’s main ally in Troy’s family back when she and Troy were engaged. Angelica had hoped they’d be friends again one day.
But Daisy pointed a finger at Angelica. “I want to see my nephew, and I want to see him now.”
“Your nephew? Wait a minute. What’s going on? What’s got you mad?”
“What’s got me mad is that I have a nephew who’s six years old and I’ve never even met him. I may not ever be going to have children of my own, but I’ve always wanted to be an aunt. And now I hear I’ve been one for years and the boy’s been kept from me!”
“Oh, Daisy.” Things were starting to fall into place. “Xavier isn’t your nephew.”
The other woman, whom Angelica didn’t recognize, stepped forward—tall and thin, with streaked hair and Asian features. “We heard it on good faith from Miss Minnie Falcon.”
Of course. The day of weeding at the Senior Towers. News traveled fast. Angelica shook her head. “Come on, you guys. Sit down. Miss Minnie’s got it wrong, but I can explain.”
“You’ve got some explaining to do, all right.” Daisy made her way over to Troy’s office area and pulled out the desk chair, clearly at home here. “I was alr
eady mad at you for what you did to Troy, but this beats all. And I’m sorry, but you were engaged to Troy, and then you left, and now you have a kid. How can he not be my nephew?”
Angelica perched on a crate and gestured to the other woman to do the same.
The woman held out a hand to Angelica. “I’m Susan, Daisy’s best friend,” she said, “and I’m here to keep her from becoming violent.”
“It’s nothing to joke about!” Daisy glared at her friend.
Angelica leaned forward. “Daisy, I can tell you for sure that Troy isn’t Xavier’s father.” She explained Xavier’s desire for a father and how he’d wishfully called Troy Dad.
“But word was you and Troy were all over each other,” Daisy said skeptically.
“All over each other.” Angelica rubbed her chin. She was tempted to tell the ladies what was really going on, except she hated to do that without Troy. They hadn’t had the chance to discuss what they’d tell the world about their so-called engagement; Xavier didn’t even know, because once Xavier knew, everyone in town would know.
She needed time to prepare, but there wasn’t any. “Listen,” she said, “I’m gonna go get Troy.”
“Don’t you try to hide behind him. He’s a sucker where you’re concerned.”
“Daisy,” the other woman said in a low voice. “We shouldn’t judge. Especially considering we came straight from Bible group.”
“Even Jesus got righteously angry.” Daisy sulked, but then she nodded at her friend. “You’re right. I’m not giving you much of a chance, Angelica, am I? But the truth is, I always really liked you, and when you dumped Troy, you dumped me, too. And now to hear that you’ve actually had a baby... That pretty much beats all.”
“Let me get Troy.”
“No, I’ll text him.”
Before Angelica could stop her, Daisy was on her phone, and a couple of minutes of awkward small talk later, Troy walked in. “What’s going on?”
Angelica’s mind raced through the possible outcomes of this confrontation. They weren’t great. If they didn’t reveal their marriage of convenience now, it would make Daisy mad, and as Daisy went, so went the family. On the other hand, if they did explain that it wasn’t a real marriage, that would get out, too. And that was exactly what she didn’t want Xavier to find out.
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