Actually, she didn’t know who the farewell was harder on—Kevin…or her.
“How do you tell a little boy like Kevin Kelso that you can’t be his mother?” she asked Jamison. “He’s only seven years old. He’s smart as can be, but it won’t make it any easier on him to tell him I would if I could, but I can’t. All he’ll hear is, ‘No’ and he’ll feel like he’s lost someone he cares about all over again.”
“Are you going to regret getting involved with the boys?” Jamison asked.
Olivia paused, fork midair and gaped at her husband. “Of course not.”
Jamison cut another bite of ravioli. “I didn’t think so. So don’t be so hard on yourself, Liv. You’re giving them a lot right now, when he and Danny need you the most.”
He popped the bite into his mouth. Olivia sighed and set down her fork. “What I’m saying is that I don’t want to cause him further pain. He doesn’t know that we’re going to have a baby of our own. He won’t give a flip that we need this time for our own family. He’ll feel as if we rejected him.”
Jamison sipped his iced tea. “I don’t know, Liv. He sounds like a pretty resilient little guy to me. I’m sure he’ll be okay. Just because we can’t adopt him and Danny doesn’t mean that you can’t continue to see them. Probably even after they’re adopted by another family.”
“Why can’t we adopt them, Jamison?” She startled herself with the question. Where had it come from?
She was just opening her mouth to retract the question, when Jamison said, “One reason I can think of is because I’ve never even met them. I mean, I feel as if I know them since you talk about them so much, but you know, hey, we’ve never actually met.”
The realization hit Olivia like a bolt. It had been nearly two months that she’d been talking about them, but, no, he hadn’t met them.
“How about if I come by the Children’s Home with you?”
It was a great idea. They had just enough time to do that and then get back to the house so that they could get ready for dinner with their families. Even though she was only about six weeks along, they couldn’t wait to share their news—especially after the good checkup earlier that day.
Jamison had left the decision of when to share the good news up to her and she’d felt confident about making the announcement tonight. This time, it just felt different. But first, she had an introduction to make. The three most important men in her life had to meet each other.
Jamison steered Olivia’s Jaguar into the parking lot of the Children’s Home. She held his hand and led him up the steps.
After they were buzzed in, Olivia immediately set out to look for Pam and the little boys who had so captured her heart.
Jamison stepped into the living room and knew from the description that Olivia had given him that he’d stumbled upon one of them. He’d heard so much about these boys he felt as if he already knew them. He’d bet money that this was Danny, who sat quietly in the corner, spinning the wheel of a toy truck.
Jamison walked over and knelt in front of him.
“Hi there, little guy. What do you have there?”
The boy didn’t say anything, and for a long while, Jamison would’ve sworn that the kid didn’t even know he was there. That’s why he was surprised when, as he started to get up, the boy held out the truck and let Jamison take it.
The moment after Jamison accepted it he didn’t quite know what to do with it. Should he roll it on the ground? Should he make truck noises? He didn’t want the boy to start screaming again the way Olivia had said he did when someone tried to take his favorite toy. For lack of a better idea of what to do, Jamison gave the wheels a spin, the same way Danny had been doing when Jamison entered the room.
The boy stared transfixed. Once Jamison saw the boy was okay with sharing his truck, he relaxed and both of them fell into a contented companionship with each other. Though he knew feeling sorry for him was probably the worst thing he could do for the boy, he couldn’t help but be moved by the fact that the kid was so young to be without his family.
Despite how Jamison had all the material advantages money could buy, thanks to an absent father and a mother who was an emotional wreck, his childhood had been less than ideal. Even so, he had his people. He’d always had his brothers around him.
Sitting here with Danny, recalling everything Olivia had said, he fully understood why it was so important to keep these boys together.
When Olivia, Pam and another boy, who had to be Kevin because he looked like a slightly larger version of Danny, walked in, they stopped in their tracks and gaped at them as if they were afraid that they might startle a wild deer.
“He shared his truck with you?” asked Kevin.
“He shared his truck with you,” Olivia said.
“He shared his truck with me.” Jamison beamed.
He’d been with the little guy for less than fifteen minutes and he could already see why Olivia was so smitten. If it wasn’t that he and his wife already had a baby on the way, he’d definitely entertain the possibility that the boys come live with Olivia and him.
But that was impulse talking. Jamison had just met the boys. He hadn’t even spent time with them. Even if did and fell in love with them the same way Olivia had, it wouldn’t work. It would simply be too much for Olivia to care for a newborn and two emotionally fragile older boys—especially one with special needs.
Particularly since Jamison would be so busy with work.
His own childhood flashed back at him in one, larger than life mental collage of lies and deception. Six little boys who desperately needed a father. A father who was never there for them. A mother who was so overwhelmed by the fact that her marriage was unraveling that she drank herself into a stupor on a regular basis.
There were so many unanswered questions and the memory sent a steel door slamming down on Jamison’s overloaded emotions.
As much as he was sure the boys were wonderful and worthy of love and a good home, he and Olivia simply weren’t their new family. It would be too much. Overload. Somehow, he had to make Olivia see that.
Chapter Twelve
“It was a sign that he is going to be a great father,” Olivia said to the group of family gathered around the dining room table at their house. “Danny was drawn to Jamison. And in the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him share with anyone that way.”
“Who, Danny or Jamison?” Paul asked, and everyone at the table doubled over in a fit of laughter.
“Danny, of course.” Olivia reached for her husband’s hand.
“Right, because Jamison hasn’t learned to share yet. I think the three-year-old is setting a good example,” Paul continued, and drew more laughter. Jamison was a good sport and chuckled along with them.
“This evening was not intended to be a roast honoring my husband,” Olivia said. “But we do have some very exciting news to share. In fact, if not for this news, we might even consider adopting the Kelso boys, we’ve come to care for them that much. But one thing at a time.”
As the server they’d hired for the evening distributed flutes of champagne—and a glass of sparkling cider for Olivia—she beamed at her husband, who seemed to be in a daze and frowning slightly. When she raised her glass to him he seemed to snap out of his fog. Because he smiled, she decided not to read anything into it.
This is a happy night. Don’t borrow trouble.
“Jamison, would you please do the honor and share our good news with our family?”
Olivia’s mother, Emily Stanton Armstrong, seemed to anticipate the announcement and gasped. Her hand flew to her mouth as if she were holding in the happy, hopeful question that wanted to pop out.
In turn, Emily’s reaction elicited a muffled squeal from Olivia’s sister, Lisa. “Oh, I hope you’re going to say what I think you’re going to say.”
Jamison’s mother, Helen, sat poker-faced in her seat to the right of her son, who was at the head of the table.
“Oh, for God’s sake,” she his
sed. “Would everyone be quiet so he can talk?”
Jamison cleared his throat, a sign that his mother’s brusque manners had embarrassed him.
“Relax, Mother. I’m waiting until everyone has been served champagne.”
Helen gave an aloof half-eye roll that might have been a smirk, but it was hard to tell.
“Oh, smile,” cajoled Olivia’s father, Gerald. “You’re actually quite attractive when you do.”
Emily and Helen glared at Gerald, who, in his day had quite a reputation for being a womanizer. But Olivia knew he’d changed his ways and truly loved her mother. She knew her father was a good man, even if she’d never been as close to him as to her mother.
Every single member of Olivia’s family was present tonight. Derek was a bit subdued, but he’d come. Paul had even brought his fiancée, Ramona.
Olivia was overjoyed they were all there, because nothing made her quite as happy as being surrounded by her family.
Helen, however, was the only member of Jamison’s family who could make it tonight. Four of his brothers lived out of town; Payton and Grant had their own Valentine’s Day plans, which was understandable, and actually preferable to Olivia. Because invariably, Payton would’ve found some way to upstage their announcement.
Olivia shook away the ugly thought. She wasn’t going to let anything spoil the night. Especially not ugly thoughts aimed at a sister-in-law, whose only faults, really, were being impossibly fertile and well liked by their mother-in-law.
Olivia was neither of those things.
Still, this was her and Jamison’s night. A time to enjoy their family and bask in the glow of the happy news they were about to share.
When everybody had flutes of champagne, Jamison sat up straight and said, “Olivia and I are very happy to announce that we are expecting a baby, which will arrive in October.”
Shouts and squeals erupted. The family toasted and hugged one another as they congratulated Olivia and Jamison. Olivia even thought she saw evidence of a smile on Helen’s face—but it was gone before she could be sure.
When everyone settled down, Helen said, “October? That means you aren’t even two months’ pregnant, Olivia. Don’t you think it’s a bit risky to start making announcements this early?”
A hush fell over the dining room and everyone gaped as Helen’s thoughtless remark loomed, almost palpable, in the air.
“The doctor said that everything looks good, Mother.” There was a sharp edge to Jamison’s voice. “Besides, we’re going to be spending a lot of time in D.C. over the coming months. Tonight was the most convenient night to get the family together, seeing that you happened to be in town tonight, too. Perhaps you could think positively and wish us well?”
“Of course,” Helen said, then downed the rest of her champagne.
In an awkward moment, all gazes seemed to turn to Olivia. She wasn’t sure if the crushing weight she felt was due to the hormones or simply disappointment that even on the night she announced she was finally pregnant, she couldn’t seem to please her mother-in-law, who had to spoil the moment by shining the spotlight on Olivia’s worst nightmare—that they might possibly lose the baby. Again.
She hated it, but she felt tears burning her eyes. There was no way she was going to let Helen know she’d gotten to her. No way she was going to sit her and cry and validate her mother-in-law’s morbid suggestion.
Olivia summoned her most cheerful voice.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll just go into the kitchen and let the staff know that we’re ready for dessert.”
As the servers bustled around her, Olivia stood in her kitchen struggling to regain her composure. She did it by focusing on the good, replaying the wonderful day she’d had in her head—the good news that they’d received at the doctor’s appointment; the wonderful lunch with Jamison and the sentimental bracelet he’d given her; the way Danny and Jamison had taken to each other; and now being able to share the good news with the family.
Despite Helen’s sourpuss attitude, for once the world really did seem nearly perfect. Olivia put her hand over her stomach, which was still perfectly flat. She couldn’t change her mother-in-law’s outlook, but she could refuse to let it bring her down. Because, really, the only way life could be better would be if she were holding her baby in her arms right now.
She turned at the sound of someone behind her. It was Derek.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Everything seems fine, my dear sister. Well, except for Helen. She’s quite a piece of work, isn’t she? But really, you should be quite pleased with yourself for pulling this off.”
He patted his stomach. Something in the tone of his voice sent a chill skittering down Olivia’s spine.
“Derek, don’t start with me. I’ve had enough drama tonight. Did you need something? Otherwise, I was just getting ready to go back out and join the family in the dining room. We don’t want the ice cream to melt.”
He started to say something but stopped. His expression was making her uncomfortable.
“I just felt compelled to ask—aren’t you glad you listened to me? Because I’m quite enjoying this little secret we’re sharing.”
Racking her brain because she didn’t quite know what to say to him, she glanced around to make sure nobody had slipped into the kitchen and heard his remark. When she was sure the coast was clear, she lowered her voice to just above a whisper.
“Please don’t ever bring that up again. Not even when we’re alone, okay?”
He laughed a dry laugh that seemed almost evil.
“No, Olivia, I think we’re going to have to talk about it at least one more time.”
His comment made her blood run cold.
“What are you getting at, Derek?” she muttered the words through gritted teeth.
“Now is not the appropriate time or place. But we’ll talk soon, little sister. We’ll talk.”
As the celebration wound down, Jamison asked his mother to step into the office for a private word before she left for her hotel. Despite their large home and numerous offers, she never stayed with Jamison and Olivia when she visited.
“What’s the matter, son?” she asked.
He knew her too well to believe she was really oblivious to what he wanted to talk about.
“Why did you act that way tonight?”
She blinked. “What on earth do you mean, dear?” She was acting a little too wide-eyed and innocent to be believable.
“You know exactly what I’m saying. At every turn of good news you had something snide to say. With all that Olivia and I have been through, it was pretty awful of you to suggest that it’s too early to share the pregnancy with our family. For God’s sake, we’re not sending out a press release to the general public. This night was to celebrate. Family is supposed to rally around you and build you up. Not tear you down.”
Helen’s mouth pursed into a thin, flat line and pure venom seemed to pool in her eyes. In the split second before she could blast him with her poison tongue, Jamison held up his hand.
“Don’t say a word. You’re going to hear me and you’d better take to heart what I have to say. I am sick and tired of you being disrespectful to my wife. You will treat her with respect or you will not be welcome in our home. Do I need to make my point any clearer?”
She glared at him. A slight coloring bloomed on her face, hard and cold as a stone.
Over the years, Jamison had tried to convince Olivia that she shouldn’t take his mother’s chilly demeanor personally. Helen had never like any of the women he or his brother, Grant, had brought home (girlfriends of their four, unmarried younger brothers weren’t even on Helen’s radar). In fact, it was only after Payton had given her a grandchild that Helen had softened toward her. That gave Jamison hope that one day his mother would open her arms and invite Olivia in, but tonight, he’d officially quit hoping. He was demanding it.
He’d accepted the fact that even if his mother was revered in her social circles—t
he kind of reverence only afforded those with power and old money—she wasn’t nice.
“Mother, I love you. I know that you’re fighting your own demons. But you have to understand, the past is gone. Nothing can change it. I’m sorry that Dad hurt you. I’m sorry that he was a rotten father to me and my brothers, but I will no longer let the past rob me of the happiness I deserve. For a while now, I’ve been questioning whether I even wanted children because I was so afraid I’d end up being like my father—being a horrible, horrible husband. But just today, it dawned on me that I am nothing like him—”
“You are a lot like him,” Helen spat. He wasn’t sure if that was a compliment. “That’s why people love you. They see in you everything they wanted to believe about him.”
Their gazes locked and at that moment, Jamison saw the tears in his mother’s eyes, glimpsed all the hurt and anguish that was bottled under the surface.
“Mom, we cannot let the past keep tearing us apart. Olivia is my wife. She is your daughter-in-law, not your competition. So please show her the respect she deserves.”
Later that night, Olivia lay awake next to her husband long after he’d fallen asleep. Derek’s words rang in her ears. No matter how she tossed and turned, she couldn’t quiet her restless, worried mind.
If she didn’t know better, she might think Derek was intending to blackmail her.
Surely not, she told herself as she flipped over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Her brother was capable of a lot of diabolical things, but extorting a family member?
Surely not.
Even so, his careless remark had uncorked the guilt she’d managed to suppress during this time of happiness and celebration.
She turned back onto her side, facing her husband. His handsome face looked so peaceful and relaxed in the sliver of moonlight that shone through the space in the curtain.
Maybe she should tell him the complete truth.
A wave of panic threatened to drown her.
How could she? He was so happy. They were doing so well.
The Family They Chose Page 11