by Sydney Addae
“That’s it?”
He nodded, feeling a little vindicated for his reaction by her incredulous tone.
She picked up his hand and rubbed the back. “Sounds like Angus has to walk his own path for a little while. That she appeared to calm you means Angus had to go, he may not have had a choice. Especially if it had to do with his old pack.”
“I'm his Alpha. It should’ve gone through me first,” he said. “Only the Goddess can override the connection between Alpha and pack.”
“Isn’t that what she did? I mean she knows about this, that pack protocol’s been violated, but she didn’t mention that.”
Silas thought about her words for a few minutes. “Good point. What did she mean about change?” He met her gaze.
“Change is absolute. Nothing ever remains the same forever.”
“She told me something once,” he said searching his memory. “The one thing that is definite is change. It’s coming with a time of testing. Your obedience and service to me have not gone unnoticed. You will be rewarded, although it may not seem so at the time. Be vigilant, you’ll need your eyes to see. Be faithful, you’ll need your ears to ferret out the truth. Be merciful, your nose will lead you to understanding. Be courageous, your heart will suffer but will guide you to the truth. Taste the truth and embrace it, reject the lies and you will ride the wave of change. Your wolves need your direction now more than ever.” His gaze met hers as he finished repeating the Goddess’ words.
“That’s deep. Still obscure if you want specifics, but that’s how she talks.” Jasmine shrugged and he wondered if her mind was on the matter at hand.
“Something is changing and it has to do with my brother. Does he know?” Silas watched her.
“Let’s be honest. Angus is no fool or chump. He knows something but he didn’t share. I think that’s what’s bothering you.” She pointed at him. “Once he gets there and has a free moment, he’ll contact you. Give him some space to handle whatever it is he feels he needs to do.”
Silas bit back the growl rumbling in his throat. “That’s not how it works. I’m his Alpha. I don’t get the information later, he asks first, we can discuss it and then I approve. It’s how pack operates. If someone asked or told my Beta to run an errand without going through me, it shows disrespect.”
“Angus wouldn’t do that.” She patted his hand.
“Yet, that’s what he did. My second in command left the country and I have no idea why. He’s my brother, Jasmine. Something is going on, he could be walking into some kind of trap or worse, and I cannot contact him.”
She moved, sat on his lap, and placed her palms on the side of his face. “What do you mean you cannot contact him? Your mental link is gone?” The concern in her eyes placated him a bit. Finally, she was taking this whole thing more seriously.
“Yes. There’s this dark void inside. He’s not there.” He tapped his chest.
She placed a kiss on his lips and laid her head on his chest. “He’s not dead, Silas. The Goddess would’ve told you. Maybe he’s doing an assignment for her or something on that level and she didn’t want to tell you. That would explain a lot.”
Silas nodded slowly. “Yes. She said things were as they should be. And she’s the only person, other than me, who could cancel our mental links.” He squeezed her tight and placed a kiss on her forehead as he thought it over. “Thanks, that scenario makes more sense now. She probably told him not to tell anyone, that’s why he refused to say more.” Silas nodded. “I can see him obeying her. That’s different.” His beast settled somewhat as they sat on the floor in silence.
“I love you,” he said, rubbing his palm down the side of her face and onto her shoulders. “You’re good for me. I need your wisdom and steadiness. Thanks for loving me.”
Jasmine snuggled closer into Silas’s chest, feeling the vibrations as he spoke. “Love you too, Wolfie.” Her thoughts raced ahead to the meeting she’d just left Rose and Asia in charge of when she sensed Silas’ turmoil. No matter what anyone said or thought, she knew better than most her mate was more beast than man with a thin, polished human veneer. It never benefited anyone for him to remain agitated too long. His beast saw things in black and white, she’d spent years working with him to venture into gray areas, but it was not his default way of thinking.
“We will be short-staffed,” he said.
“Hmm?”
“Angus. Who will handle his job? Asia and Reese can’t take it on right now.” He didn’t add staffing and outfitting her new project left them with few people he’d allow in the compound. It would need to be someone he’d already vetted.
“What about Damian? There are three KnightForce agents in Florida, he could work here until Angus comes back,” she said.
“He could, but Gem is overseeing the new hospital and can’t leave. Even though they aren’t bonded, the separation will be difficult for them both. I’d rather not split them apart. It’s best she’s able to focus on the research and patients right now.”
Jasmine agreed. “Ethan? He just got married, they could stay here until Angus gets back. I’d love to spend more time with Vanessa. Plus, I’d be interested in her thoughts on our outreach.” Not only that, but Jasmine sensed Vanessa was a powder keg of untapped energy. Silas would prefer to have Ethan’s mate close.
“That might work. I’ll see if Jayden can spare him and what we can set up.” He rubbed her back and placed another kiss on her forehead. “What were you doing before you came here?”
“Weekly meeting. We’d just started, Rose and Asia are handling it.” She moved to stand. Silas held onto her hips until she stood straight, and then he stood.
“I’ve got a meeting in ten minutes. Have lunch with me.” He placed a kiss on her forehead.
She looked into his emerald green eyes, touched the tips of his jet-black hair brushing against his chin, leaned forward and grazed her lips against his. “What time?” She whispered against his lips.
“Two hours?” He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close.
“Okay. I’ll order lunch and meet you in the bedroom in two hours.”
Silas chuckled and smacked her hips as she pushed away.
“Hey, stop that Wolfie or lunch will be in the kitchen.” She grinned as she walked away.
“Makes no difference where I eat, as long as you understand you’re on the menu.”
The dark promise in his voice shot to her core. Ridiculous how this man still got to her after all this time and probably always would.
“You’re my mate, Sweet Bitch, I’m supposed to make you hot from now until eternity.”
Jasmine looked over her shoulder at him standing so tall, so utterly handsome and sexy in the middle of the room. “No arguments from me on that, especially since I do the same to you.” With a smile, she strode out the door.
CHAPTER 5
Uneasy over the swiftness of his decision to change course, Angus stepped off the plane onto the soil of his birth. Buried feelings from decades past rose swift and strong as he inhaled the air. Shifters and humans moved about the small airport, yet he barely saw them. His thoughts lingered on the urgent mission he’d been compelled to accept. During the entire flight, between wondering about his mate, who was she? What was she like, did she want pups, and what Silas would think of this life or death mission he’d embarked on. What advice would Silas give him? Jasmine? He wished he could speak with them, but just as Grandfather said, their mental links were disconnected.
Angus couldn’t shake the idea of walking into a storm, an unsettling situation when dealing with too many unknowns. The silence, no, absence, of his Alpha slammed into him but didn’t hinder his steps. Now that he’d made the decision to follow grandfather’s instructions, he’d see them through. A quick glance at his bracelet added a layer of confidence. No one could remove it, and even if they cut it from his arm, the chameleon would not work for anyone else.
Outside, a cloud covered the sun, giving a brief respite fro
m its brutal glare. Once again the irony of being alone, unable to count on anyone else in his birthplace, hit hard. When Alpha Ulric, his former Alpha, suggested he leave Plias and the pack, Angus’ heart had bled. Turned out of a pack, set aside like yesterday’s trash, crippled him for years. Rather than leave the continent, he’d worked with other groups, away from his homeland, to defeat their enemies. It was only when the Liege threatened the Black Wolf pack specifically, that Ulric asked for his help and even then, didn’t truly want him around. The two had a stormy history. Angus doubted they’d ever truly trust each other. He hoped the Alpha had no knowledge of his arrival and that he could fulfill this quest without setting eyes on the full-blood.
“Angus.”
The voice of his former Alpha, his nemesis, washed over him. The last time they’d spoken had been more congenial than any time in the past two decades, but it wasn’t the best. With a perfected mask of calm and competence, Angus squared his shoulders and reminded himself he was La Patron’s Beta. No longer alone, he commanded respect and even now could call out to several Alphas in this country to assist him on behalf of La Patron.
Wariness filled Ulric’s eyes as their gazes clashed.
“You’re alone?” Angus strove to be as nonchalant on the inside as he projected on the outside. Seeing Ulric alone brought back memories of the Alpha taunting him, trying to instigate a challenge to fill their missing Alpha’s position. Angus had wanted no part of taking over the pack and Ulric branded him a coward for refusing the fight. Old wounds rose and festered as they watched each other.
“Of course. I was told this is had to be handled quietly.” Ulric looked around and then back at him. “Are you expecting trouble?”
Unsure what Ulric knew of his visit, but unwilling to ask questions, Angus shook his head and walked toward the parking lot. Ulric walked beside him in silence and veered off to a black jeep parked near the back. Inhaling, Angus sensed no trouble or deceit, and slid in the front seat of Ulric’s vehicle.
When Ulric didn’t immediately start the jeep, Angus prepared to battle.
“I was told we needed to fix the problems between us before I take you to the drop point,” Ulric said.
“What?” Angus hadn’t expected that. Grandfather claimed time was of the essence and it would take a lot longer for him and Ulric to clear the air of decades of abuse and problems.
To his credit, Ulric sounded pained and didn’t look at him. “Grandfather said we both made mistakes through the years, but I totally fucked up because of my jealousy and fear that you’d be a better leader than me.”
“What?” Never in a million years did he expect to hear Ulric admit things Angus always suspected were at the root of their problems.
“When your parents died during the hunt, you and your brothers kept to yourselves for a while. Then Silas left the three of you behind. Alpha kept the three of you close, he said it was because your sire and mam died for the pack.”
Angus swallowed hard at memories of his sire and mam during the hunt. The pack was after a herd of antelope and somehow ran too close to a cub. The huge bear came charging, his sire distracted it from the rest of the pack and his mam helped. Both died that day.
“I’m not proud, but that always bothered me, the way he preferred your den. When Declan and Merle never returned from their last hunt —”
“Did you have something to do with that?” Angus snapped, prepared to kill the bastard right then.
“What? No. How could you think such a thing?” Ulric appeared affronted.
“You were supposed to go with them, remember? Alpha sent six of you, four came back,” Angus reminded him.
“We told everyone what happened. Declan and Merle said they wanted to check something and never returned. We waited and then looked for them, but their tracks had disappeared,” Ulric said.
Angus remembered that day he became an orphan in truth. Alpha moved him to his den, treated him as a son and made sure he was taken care of. After living with Silas and Jasmine, Angus realized how lucky he’d been to have Alpha take notice of him, but it wasn’t the same as your own den. The strong bond between him and Silas superseded all others, for him at least. He’d give his life for his brother without thought. Within the compound, Angus’d had pack and family, both equally important.
Ulric was still talking. “You stayed behind with the pack and I… well not just me, a lot of us, didn’t really treat you fairly. It wasn't that you didn’t fit in, you did your part in the hunt and everything. It was just…”
This attack or peeling back layers from years ago had been so swift Angus hadn’t had time to prepare his internal I-don’t-give-a-damn defense. Inside, where he kept his feelings locked tight, the lonely wolf was still scared that someday he would lose the few people in his life who truly mattered. Those who were the rocks of his center, allowing him to stand alone and not be lonely. He’d spent the past few years solidifying his new persona, and liked the wolf he’d become. But that hadn’t always been the case. Grandfather and Ulric knew it, damn them both for picking the scab of his past hurts and fears.
“Just what?” Angus didn’t bother hiding his irritation. Obviously, Ulric wouldn’t take him to Grandfather, who was the only person who knew the next step in this macabre play.
“Different. You were so damn different.” He held up his hand. “Not that it’s any excuse, but you wanted to wait for Alpha to return from the dead.”
“We didn’t know he was dead.” Even hearing his often-repeated defense not to allow Ulric, or anyone else, take over the Alpha’s spot, sounded lame.
“We did. You didn’t accept it. And wouldn’t accept anyone else, including me. When you didn’t accept the Alpha challenge, I realized you didn’t want the position. You really believed he would return.”
“That’s what I told you all along,” Angus snapped.
“It was foolishness to expect a pack not to have an Alpha.”
Angus opened his mouth and then snapped it shut. Silas had told him the same thing. “For that, you tossed me out of the pack?” Memories and echoes of the pain of isolation resonated through him. During that time, he’d lived alone in the nearby caves. There were days he’d thought he’d go mad without social interaction. It was only his books and work that saved him.
“No. Fear. I was afraid you’d sway the pack from the vision I had for us. Even though you gave your loyalty to me, I never believed you wanted me as Alpha. That uncertainty grew to hate I’m embarrassed to say, because you’d done nothing wrong. I simply didn’t like you and no longer could tolerate your presence.”
The comments were so unexpected, so brutally honest, Angus just stared at him. He couldn’t think past the notion that his Alpha hated him for no real reason. All these years he’d suspected the man didn’t like him, they’d argued, didn’t get along, but he never thought an Alpha could hate a pack member. He was wrong.
When Angus didn’t say anything, Ulric continued. “That’s the reason I suggested you find another pack. Then when the pups started disappearing, I sent someone for you and heard you were working with another group.” He paused.
Angus didn’t bother explaining how his team had infiltrated the Liege using the chameleon bracelet. Ulric was aware of some things that happened, but not all, and he’d never know if Angus had to be the one to tell him.
“Then I heard you’d reconnected with your den mate, La Patron.”
His jaw tightened at the way Ulric made the last comment sound as if Angus had received an invitation from Silas and had a huge fucking den reunion. Silas had no idea Angus existed and that cut deeper than anything Ulric had ever done. To think your den-mate left to find a better life was one thing, but to learn he had no idea he had a family was a blow Angus never wanted to experience again. They’d just discovered recently the Goddess had wiped Silas’ memory so he could do her bidding.
Flipping through the pages of his personal history was a waste of time. Nothing changed. He looked at Ulric. “Wh
at is rehashing all of this supposed to do?”
“How should I know?” Ulric yelled, slammed the steering wheel and then calmed. “I was told to apologize for being an ass all those years, to make things right. I assumed if I told you what was going on with me it would help. Other than that, I don’t know what else to do.”
Angus played with the idea of just accepting Ulric’s explanation and dropping the matter. He couldn’t. Not without telling his side. “Pack was all I had, my sire, mam, and brothers were gone. You kicked me out because you didn’t like me. Imagine being a lone wolf, without anyone to talk or hunt with. Was it your intention to hunt me down and kill me after I went mad?”
Silence was his answer.
“I’m Blackwolf.” Angus slapped his chest, drawing Ulric’s attention. “Beta to La Patron, the Goddess’ chosen. Brother to La Patroness and protector of the Wolf Nation. Your jealous insecurities didn’t kill me, they made me stronger. There is no love in my heart for you, but there is no anger or hatred either. You don’t matter to me.”
Ulric’s jaw tightened but he didn’t speak.
“An Alpha who holds hate for a pack member without cause will be judged, not by the one he hates, but by the ones least expected. As far as I’m concerned, this matter is finished. I’ve moved on and your conscience should now be clear.”
“Thanks,” Ulric said after a few moments, and then started the car. They drove out of the city and into the jungle without speaking.
Angus wondered where they were headed and what the next portion of his journey would reveal. So far he didn’t sense the urgency Grandfather spoke of. As far as he was concerned, they’d just misused time talking at the airport.
The car stopped.
Angus didn’t speak as he stepped out and looked around.
“This is where he told me to bring you,” Ulric said.
“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Angus stretched out his hand.
Ulric took it and nodded. “If you need me, call. I think our links still work.”
Angus nodded but didn’t respond. Instead, he turned and started walking further into the trees. Moments later, he heard the jeep drive off.