by Lori Wilde
Her stomach fluttered at her mother’s words. Any fleeting thoughts she had about not taking Buck Bryson’s time slot instantly disappeared. How could she not accept the job when it was offered to her? It would make her mother so proud.
She would completely embrace the Midnight Ryder. It was who she had become, after all. She couldn’t throw away all her hard work. Not even if it meant throwing away the last shred of the self she used to be.
“I love you, Momma.”
“Love you, too, honey.”
Just as she hung up, Callie felt a tap on her shoulder. Callie wormed out from under the covers to find Luke standing over her, smiling. And he was gloriously naked.
Now that’s a man I wouldn’t mind waking up to every morning.
Damn. She had to stop thinking things like that.
“You were out on the balcony in the nude?”
“It’s 7 a.m. on a Sunday morning at a beach resort hotel. No one’s up.”
“And here I thought you embarrassed easily.”
“After last night?” His eyes were laughing. “You gotta be kidding.”
“Wanna order room service?” she asked, flipping over to sit up. She was feeling strangely modest this morning and pulled the covers up over her breasts.
“I thought maybe we could talk first.”
“Oh, okay.” She scooted over to the middle of the bed. “Have a seat.”
He sank down on the edge. She wondered how he would look if he let his hair grow out. The military cut was a little severe.
“Speaking of last night,” he said.
His insecurity was endearing. His eyes searched her face as he waited for her to pass judgment on his performance. He looked so strong and yet at the same time so incredibly vulnerable. Smiling wistfully, she reached out and traced her fingers over his lips.
“Last night,” she said. “Was wonderful. You were way more than okay. How was it for you?”
“Last night was like my birthday, Christmas Eve and the Fourth of July all wrapped up in one awesome package. But what I wanted to discuss was the last time we had sex.”
“When you were so sleepy you forgot to use a condom.”
Callie drew her knees up to her chest and studied him.
“Yeah.”
“If you’re worried about AIDS, my doctor does a test on me every year as a precaution. I advocate safe sex on my show and I want to set a good example. I can prove I’m HIV negative and I have no other sexually transmitted diseases.”
“It’s not that,” he said.
“You’re worried about birth control?”
He nodded.
“I’m on the pill. Don’t worry.” She waved a hand. Callie couldn’t say why she didn’t tell him she’d missed taking yesterday’s pill. Maybe because she didn’t consider it his problem.
“That’s good.” He sat there nodding with a faraway look in his eyes. “That’s real good.”
There was an awkward silence.
“I was worried about that,” he said at last.
“Is there something you want to tell me?”
“I can’t believe I made the same mistake twice. I mean here I am celibate for nine years and I was so certain that when I had sex again it would be with someone that I was in love with and…”
He was having a hard time with this. Callie just sat waiting patiently letting him say what he had to say at his own pace.
“Uh-huh,” she murmured encouragingly.
“I got a girl pregnant,” he finally blurted. “Her name was Rachel Delong. She was the hottest thing in high school. She had a reputation, if you know what I mean. We were at a party. We were drunk. We spent the night together on a pool table in some guy’s basement. It was just hot sex. Fun. It was supposed to be no strings attached, no complications. That’s what she told me. I was horny and seventeen. I thought, why not?”
Callie was honored that he trusted her enough to tell her all this. It choked her up inside.
“I had a condom. We used it. Then we fell asleep. The next morning, she wakes me up and we go at it again but we don’t have any more condoms. We were both too worked up to stop.”
Callie had the strongest urge to reach out, pat his shoulder and tell him it was okay. He was young. He made a mistake but she didn’t want to trivialize his pain. He was still hurting. She could see it in his face.
“When Rachel told me she was pregnant I offered to marry her. I didn’t love her but I wanted that kid….”
She could hear the unshed tears in his throat and her heart wrenched for the seventeen-year-old Luke had once been. She thought of her own pregnancy scare with Chip Mancuso and swallowed hard. She knew something of what he had gone through. She wondered how different things might have been for her if it had been Luke she’d known in high school instead of Chip.
For the first time since he started talking, Luke met her gaze. “Rachel had an abortion. There was nothing I could do to change her mind, so I went with her to the clinic, held her hand while she waited her turn and then I sat in the lobby until it was over. That’s when I swore I wasn’t ever going to have unprotected casual sex again. Last night, I broke that vow with you.”
“Oh, Luke, you were a kid. It was a long time ago. A bad mistake.”
She could have told him about her own mistake. About Chip and her pregnancy scare. It might have made him feel better, knowing he wasn’t alone.
But she just couldn’t bring herself to tell him. Sharing intimacies led to a stronger bond. And a strong bond led to deeper feelings. And deeper feelings led to strings and attachments and she just couldn’t handle that. Because she knew if she was not very, very careful Luke Cardasian was going to break her heart.
“Did I make a bad mistake with you, Callie?” he asked.
“No, oh no.” He looked so tortured she was glad she had not told him about the missed pill. She cupped his face in her hands. “It was beautiful. You’re beautiful. One of these days you will find the love of your life. You will have those kids you want. But until then there’s nothing wrong with enjoying your life and honoring your sexuality.”
“But I forgot to use a condom.”
“No harm done. We’ll just be extra careful from now on.”
“We’re going to keep having sex?”
“Aren’t we?”
“Um…I don’t know if it’s such a good idea.”
What was she going to say? Tell him last night was a huge mistake? That it had been a one-time deal and they needed to back off. That now they would spend the rest of the trip jammed in close quarters but not touching or kissing or making love.
Not damned likely.
“We obviously have chemistry. There’s something going on between us. Why torture ourselves? Just as long as we keep things light and keep the condoms handy, we’ll be fine.”
But therein lay the rub. Keeping it light.
He wasn’t the kind of guy who took a woman to bed and then sneaked out in the middle of the night. His feet were solidly rooted to the floor.
And that scared her more than anything.
She’d never been around a guy with staying power. She was good at chasing men off. She didn’t know what to do with one who refused to budge.
12
BLEARY FROM LACK OF SLEEP, Luke and Callie, along with Molly Anne, took off for the next stop on their itinerary, cruising up the Pacific Coast Highway in a limo to Santa Barbara.
Molly Anne and Callie sat in the back while Luke sat facing them on the opposite seat. He’d been acting pleasant but distant ever since they’d left their hotel suite. Callie supposed she’d been acting that way, too. Something monumental had happened to them last night. Monumental and disturbing and neither one of them wanted to discuss it.
So they pretended nothing had happened. Luke and Molly Anne had been mapping out the details for Callie’s security needs but she was too keyed up to concentrate on what they were saying. She restlessly tapped her foot against the floorboard.
M
olly Anne looked up at her. “You okay?”
“Fine.”
“Are you nervous because Roger hasn’t called to officially offer you Buck’s time slot yet?”
“No.”
To be honest she hadn’t even thought about Roger or Buck Bryson and his morning slot. The only thing dominating her thoughts was what had happened last night. Callie shot a look across the car at Luke but quickly glanced away. She didn’t want Molly Anne tuning in to the tension between them.
“Don’t worry. I’m certain Roger will be calling you soon.”
“I’m not worried.”
“Then why are your hands clenched? Do you need a Valium?”
“I’m fine, dammit,” Callie snapped.
“Oookay,” Molly Anne said and raised her palms. “Forget I asked. Just trying to be helpful.”
Why was she acting so testy? What was the matter with her?
Before she had time to puzzle out the true source of her irritability, Molly Anne’s cell phone rang. She peeked at the caller ID then grinned at Callie. “It’s Roger.”
A momentary panic clutched Callie’s stomach. If Roger offered her the position was she going to take it? She glanced over at Luke again. He had dark shades on and he wasn’t smiling. He looked totally enigmatic. What was he thinking?
“Roger,” Molly Anne purred into the cell phone. “Good morning. Yes, she’s right here.”
And the next thing Callie knew she was talking to Roger.
“Callie, I suppose you’ve heard we let Buck Bryson go,” Roger said.
“Un-huh.” Her chest tightened with dread.
“It’s no secret that Let’s Talk About Sex is KSXX’s most successful program.”
“Yes.” Her fingers tightened on Molly Anne’s cell phone. She could feel Luke watching her from beneath the shades that shielded his emotions.
“We want to take you into Buck’s slot and retitle the show, Let’s Talk About Last Night. The format will encourage callers to phone up and share their sexy adventures from the night before.”
“Provocative concept,” Callie said, doing her best to sound noncommittal.
“We’ll keep your name the same. Even though you will no longer be on at midnight, you’ll be discussing midnight fantasies the morning after.”
“No name change?” No chance for a new identity.
“The board wants it that way. They want you to stay the same.”
“Oh.” This was it. Her last chance out. Her last opportunity to walk away.
“So what do you say? The job comes with a raise.” Then Roger named a figure that took her breath.
Molly Anne was grinning and crossed her fingers. Her oldest friend was counting on her. Barb, too. Her mother was proud of her accomplishments and she would be proving something to her father. How could she turn this offer down?
And what about Luke?
She angled him a sidelong glance. What did he think?
It didn’t matter what he thought. He didn’t figure into her life in the slightest.
Why then was she so worried about looking into his eyes? He took off his sunglasses and their gazes met.
“Callie?” Roger asked. “You still there? Did I lose you?”
“You didn’t lose me, Roger.”
“So what’s your answer?”
Should I take the job? Callie silently asked Luke with her eyes.
Slowly, he shook his head. Not my place to tell you what to do.
It was weird that she knew exactly what he was thinking but she knew they had no chance of a future together. He was too constrained for her and she was too rebellious for him.
“Roger,” she said, still meeting Luke’s eyes dead-on. “I’ll take the job.”
Was it her imagination, or did Luke seem disappointed.
MOLLY ANNE WAS supercharged after Callie accepted Roger’s offer. They checked in at another beachside resort hotel in Santa Barbara and immediately Molly Anne whisked her off to lunch with a local journalist followed by two back-to-back book signings. Her friend buzzed with excitement, while Callie, dazed from having accepted Buck’s time slot when she didn’t even want it, signed book after book.
Following the signings, she was the scheduled guest of honor in the radio booth at a local arts-and-craft fair. Callie smiled and nodded and greeted fans until she thought her mouth was going to crack from so much smiling. Like any good bodyguard, Luke blended anonymously into the background, but he was always there. Her silent protector.
He made her feel warm and safe. Which, in itself, was disconcerting. She’d grown up fast and learned to take care of herself at an early age. She’d met life head-on. She wasn’t accustomed to being sheltered.
To shake the emotions she could not encourage, she focused instead on the physical. On how he’d made her body feel. On what she planned to do to him once they were back in the hotel room.
It was such fun thinking up sexy scenarios for them to act out and a great way to get through the hectic day.
By the time all the events were over, Callie was trembling with anticipation. She had a fantasy in mind she’d always wanted to try.
It was nearly midnight by the time they got back to the resort.
“You tired?” she asked him as Luke punched the up button for the elevator. Molly Anne’s room was accessed by a different bank of elevators and they’d already parted company with her.
“Exhausted,” he confessed. “You wore me out last night.”
“I’m so revved up from all the excitement I couldn’t sleep if I tried,” Callie admitted.
He arched an eyebrow. “You have something in mind?”
She didn’t want to give away her plan, not so soon, but she baited the trap. “I think I’ll go work out in the gym. Since you’re so tired, why don’t you go on to bed?”
“You’re not going down there alone,” he said. “Besides, I need a good workout, too.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” She grinned.
They went to their room and changed into workout clothes. Luke wore a black muscle shirt and gray cotton shorts. Callie had on black Lycra shorts and a black sports bra. They used their key card to get into the gym. As Callie had hoped, at this hour the place was empty.
She carried her gym bag through the cardio area filled with treadmills and recumbent bikes and stair climbers and walked into the weight room beyond. She dropped the gym bag next to a leg press machine. Luke followed her inside. He picked up two twenty-five pound barbells and seated himself on the weight bench.
As Callie worked out on the leg press, she kept sneaking surreptitious glances over at Luke. He was doing bicep curls, his concentration focused on performing slow, steady repetitions.
In, out, in, out. The weights clanged gently as she pushed with her thighs.
Luke was a glory to watch. Toned and hard and leanly muscled. His pecs flexed and rippled beneath the tight fit of his muscle shirt and Callie’s heart got snagged up in her throat. The small gym was suddenly very hot in spite of the cool air blasting through the air-conditioning vents.
With each exertion he expelled his breath in short, rhythmic exhalations. It was a rough, sexy noise that caused her nipples to pucker beneath the snugness of her sports bra.
His shirt dampened with sweat. His tantalizing pheromones enticed her. She craved the smell of him beyond all reason. It was a creatural impulse that made her feel connected to him, to nature, to her sensuality.
He lay with his back flat against the weight bench and did overhead presses with the barbells, his long lean body gleaming with perspiration.
Callie licked her lips.
When she could stand it no longer, she got up, stepped over and straddled his body on the weight bench. She hovered above his knees. Up went the barbells. Down went her hand, boldly touching his cock.
“What are you doing?” He stared at her, clearly aghast.
“Teaching you the joys of spontaneous, semipublic sex.”
“But we’re in the w
eight room of a resort gym. A hotel guest could walk in on us at any minute.”
“Not likely. It’s after midnight on a Monday. Besides, the possibility of someone walking in on us is sort of the point,” she said. “Anyway, we don’t have to get all the way naked.”
“What do you mean?” he asked hoarsely and dropped the weights.
They plunked loudly to the floor. He might be protesting but the expression in his eyes told Callie he was intrigued.
She leaned over and pulled the gym bag toward her. Then she reached inside and pulled out a pair of scissors, along with a condom, and then handed him the scissors.
“What do you want me to do with these?”
“Cut the crotch out of my shorts.”
Callie hadn’t expected him to attack the task with such glee. The way he grabbed her inseam, pulled down and started snipping away caused her to giggle. Funny, she wasn’t a giggler. But ever since meeting Luke she seemed to giggle all the time. Her mission might have been to teach him a few things about sex, but here he was, teaching her a few new things about herself.
“Clip the strap on my G-string thong, too,” she instructed once she felt the air hit her bare skin where he’d cut a perfect diamond shape out of the Lycra.
“You’re a bossy thing.”
“And don’t you forget it,” she teased.
Luke snipped her underwear off, then tossed the scissors on the floor beside the barbells. He raised his shoulders up off the weight bench, banded one arm around her bottom and pulled her down with him. He snuggled her against the rigid length of him. His grip held her tight; she squirmed but he wasn’t about to let her go. “Who’s in charge now?”
She was lying directly on top of him on the narrow weight bench. Torturously, he pushed her bra up and fitted his mouth over her pert nipple and his deep groan of appreciation matched her own.
Her hips twitched against his pelvis; the muscles between her thighs clenched hungrily. He reached for her breasts with his hands but she grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head.
“No hands,” she commanded.
He made a guttural sound of despair. “What do you have up your sleeve?”
“Just wait and see.”
Luke swore.
“Go ahead. Talk dirty. It turns me on.”