“Sweet! Yeah, you need to come with us and live a little, brother.”
Ben glanced up at Tobin’s words. None of them had ever referred to him as one of their brothers. He felt like the odd man of the group, like he was just an ugly duckling among the guys.
“I’d like that,” Ben admitted quietly. “I’ll go put in my request right away. What dates did you take?”
“The entire first week. July 1st through the 7th.”
“Thanks for the invite.”
“I guess we all assumed you were going without talking about it. I’m serious man, next time at the computer give Post a hard time about the emails.”
“I will.”
Merry Christmas Ben,
I hope you are doing well and enjoying the holiday. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, since I haven’t heard from you in the last few weeks. I worry that something happened and keep telling myself that you are with your family over the Season.
I bought myself some rocky road fudge and eggnog to have this evening while I enjoy watching It’s a Wonderful Life. In the movie, the part where the angel gets his wings, always brings tears to my eyes. I’m such a sucker for happy endings.
I shut off all the lights, turn on the Christmas tree, savoring the memories of the year and all the potential that is right around the corner for next year. My nana always said that perspective was what makes or breaks your heart, so I choose happiness every chance I get.
Many blessings to you, this holiday season, my friend.
Write when you can. I miss your letters.
Marigold
March 2018
Marigold,
I’m so sorry it’s taken a while for me to write to you. I’ve gotten your emails and packages. You are so thoughtful and kind. I hope you had a lovely Christmas. Things have been really hectic here.
Ben
Ben,
You don’t ever have to explain to me if you are busy. I’m just glad you are safe and healthy. Did you get the last few packages I sent you? I hope you enjoyed the snacks.
I found this website where you can make t-shirts and they have some really cute logos. Maybe I could get some printed for the shop and use it for advertising. I could send you a shirt, too, if you’d wear one with flowers on it?
Well, maybe that was a dumb idea now that I think about it.
Spring is already getting really warm here and I’m so excited about my hybrids. I am trying a new mix this year and hope it takes. If so, it will mix a sweet perfume with two-tone blossom.
Wish me luck!
Marigold
Marigold,
I’d wear it under my uniform.
Ben
Ben,
I have the most wonderful news! I have to share it with someone just because I am about to shout with joy… I am taking a vacation!
I’ve never been away from home and found someone to work the shop for me while I’m gone. Some of my friends are doing a getaway celebration at a friend’s house and we are all meeting in Alaska.
Can you believe it?
ALASKA! Me?
I’m going to travel thousands of miles across country! I can’t wait, either. I want to see everything, too. My new friend, Leia, is going to be meeting her pen pal there and they just told me you are possibly going, too?
Oh, please tell me you are going?!
I’d so like to meet you in person and enjoy the sights. I know you are probably used to traveling across the globe and I probably seem like a dunce, but I’m bursting with joy!
See you soon (maybe!)
Marigold
Marigold,
Yes. I’ll be there. I’ll have three full days there in town since I had to take a little time earlier in the year for personal reasons. I’ll explain in person. I wish I could say more, but I’ve got to go help Tobin with something.
Ben
Chapter 7
July 2018
Travelling seemed so surreal to Marigold and she planned on savoring every bit of it. Leia seemed to be understanding and didn’t say a word at the excitement she knew had to be annoying. Marigold had yet to release the woman’s poor arm as they sat beside each other on the plane, chattering the entire time to prevent feelings of hysteria as her ears popped as the altitude changed.
Seeing the world from above had to be the best thing she’d ever experienced, until she got her first glimpse of Alaska. The world was so different here! Bright blues, deep greens, and the rich world before her was stunning. The sprawling city at the base of the mountains was surreal. Peaks touched one side of the horizon, while the brilliant blue waters were on the opposite side. The sky looked so bright, that it was blinding off the reflection of the snowcapped mountains in the distance and the oceans below.
Getting off the plane, Marigold grabbed her bags and waited happily, looking around at everything, as they prepared to board the small travel coach they’d rented to take them to the cabin they’d occupy for the week.
The massive cabin had several rooms, bathroom, a massive wrap around porch to allow you to view the surrounding areas, as well as a short trip to the base where someone named Post lived and they would be having the reunion of friends.
As the adults split up to select their rooms, Marigold snatched the room right beside Leia’s. The room faced the mountains and the landscape was incredible. Sliding open the window, she took a deep breath and sighed happily. She was here, finally!
Her room was quaint, with an armoire in the corner, a few books on a tiny shelf by the bathroom, and a chair beside the bed. Marigold dragged the chair over to the window, knowing she planned on enjoying a cup of coffee or tea here in this spot at least once or twice a day!
Excitement pulsed through her as she realized that she was going to be meeting her pen pal this very day and there was no time like the present to start enjoying the trip. She wanted to see the gardens, view the ocean up close, see a bear or moose, and maybe see a glacier! Ducking out of her room, she stepped next door and knocked on Leia’s door.
Leia opened the door and looked utterly terrified for a moment, surprising Marigold. Leia was wearing black slacks and a short-sleeved sweater, making her face look extremely pale. Maybe she had motion sickness? It was time to take her mind off of it and get out to see the environment. Nothing cured motion sickness like fresh air!
“Oooh cute earrings!”
“Thanks!”
“I just love big bracelets on my wrists and dangling earrings. I adore those bright colors. Miss Trend-Setter-Leia!” Marigold announced happily, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling Leia towards the stairs.
“I haven’t heard much of anything from Ben lately, so I’m hoping he makes it.” Marigold said in an overenthusiastic voice to keep the insidious doubts from ruining anything at all about this trip.
Yes, she wanted to meet the guy that seemed so nice and friendly, but that singular voice in the back of her mind told her repeatedly that nothing would come of this but friendship – so she planned for that. The two women could get in some exploration and check out the field of wildflowers just under Marigold’s window as they waited for everyone else to arrive before departing for town. She really wanted to utilize every moment to do something new.
Humming and dancing down the long hallway towards the stairs, she tried to get Leia to play along with her. The woman looked like she was at her breaking point and making Marigold feel a little anxious about the whole situation that was unfurling.
“I’m sure he will,” Leia said good-naturedly.
“Have you heard from Hody?”
“Just to wish him a safe trip.”
“Oh, that’s sweet. I’m glad you two are writing each other. I wish Ben wrote more often, but I write him regardless. I know he’s busy and I don’t want to distract him. He must be such a good person to have to deal with the pressure of taking care of the team and his dog. Did you know his dog’s name is Paladin? I believe it was a knight somewhere in history,” M
arigold chatted aimlessly, and laughed as she bumped into the wall. She really needed to pay attention so she didn’t end up at the bottom of the stairs in a heap of bruises.
“Yes. It’s the name of a religious knight or a crusader, like the Templars,” Leia said, reaching out a hand to steady her. Marigold nodded, smiling in thanks and froze as she heard a deep voice.
“It’s also a character class in Dungeons & Dragons… but only us gamer nerds know that,” a voice called up the stairwell.
Leia paled and there was a spark of recognition in her eyes that made Marigold realize that the man standing at the bottom of the stairs wasn’t Ben. This was obviously Leia’s pen pal, Hody.
“Hey, princess,” Hody said softly, as he leaned against the wall of the cabin, comprised of massive logs stacked on each other. Bright, twinkling eyes that had creases at the corners revealed that he smiled or laughed a lot. That smile gave him dimples that were hidden beneath a neatly trimmed beard, that looked almost like a heavy shadow on his face. He stood there, at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for Leia.
“You coming down or shall I come up?” he asked candidly.
“Don’t get pushy,” Leia uttered, surprising Marigold.
“I like to push your buttons, princess.”
“Leia,” she stressed firmly.
“Ohhhh, I get it!” Marigold interrupted the moment, laughing. “Princess Leia? How cute! I thought you two had given each other nicknames already but you are Leia-quite literally, too.”
“We did give each other nicknames,” Hody started to say.
“Yes-and his is Sasquatch,” Leia blurted out, coming down the stairs from where she’d been standing.
Marigold looked over the couple to see several men were hugging and clapping each other on their backs in welcome. Time seemed to stand still as one of the men turned slightly.
It was him!
She would never forget that gorgeous man from the shop that day. His beautiful profile reminded her of a statue, noble and enigmatic. His dark eyes turned to her as he gave a slow, silent nod of acknowledgement as his smile fell.
What in the world was going on?
Ben had very nearly thrown up three time on the ride out to the cabin from the airport. Hody drove like a maniac. Ben had a raging bout of carsickness and nerves that were destroying his stomach. He was about to meet the woman he admired and who scared him to death.
The woman he’d run away from without saying hello.
The friend he was trying to put distance between, to make it easier when she found someone else. He knew that he didn’t deserve anyone so bright and wonderful as Marigold. Her name suited her personality and when she stood there looking at him, it was like watching an angel or pixie enter the room.
She made the room warm and inviting.
She made his heart quicken.
She made him feel alive.
And she was someone he would just end up hurting when he left for Afghanistan in a few days. Neither one of them deserved anything more than friendship and to hope for more would crush his soul.
“We’ll catch up with you later,” Hody said, hugging a dark-haired woman… who was weeping? What kind of friendship and romance did those two have if she was bawling like a baby in the big oafs’ arms?
Ben glanced at Marigold once again and knew she was going to be mad at him for not making his identity known that day in the shop. He’d kicked himself mentally over and over again for it, still sleeping with her letter under his pillow to get a faint whiff of flowers every once in a while.
She was more beautiful in person, standing there, unmoving. Her pleated gown seemed to remind him of a Grecian nymph, beautiful and unattainable. He gave a nod, as if to say ‘yes, it was me’ and saw the light fade from her glowing eyes. Yes, he was a bad influence and would only serve to douse the flame from her happiness, as well.
Marigold didn’t say much, other than she walked past Hody like a car rolling past a speedbump and picked up her purse that was sitting on the floor near the front door. Smiling brightly, she waved at John, Lily, Colin, and another woman sitting on the couch.
“I’m heading out to see the sights. I’ll be back later,” Marigold said, her musical voice washing over him and making his heart turn over in his chest. Without a word, Ben dropped his duffle bag, kicked it to the side out of the way and walked out the front door behind her.
Chapter 8
Marigold needed air.
Ben was here and upon seeing him, she realized he was the same guy she’d had the massive crush on months ago. That man’s face had haunted her dreams and she’d pictured him speaking every time she read her emails – filling her with guilt, knowing that she was yearning for a made-up person. There was no way the man writing her would end up being her dream guy… yet here he was.
Yanking out her phone, Marigold opened her app and requested a ride. She needed to find a way to center herself and enjoy the scenery around her. This fiasco, she thought wildly, wasn’t going to distract from the moment. She just needed to breathe and regroup.
“Mind if I tag along?” his voice said quietly behind her, making her tense.
“Nope. It’s a free world and this is your vacation, too,” she replied quickly. “I plan on seeing a few shops, and doing goodness knows what else, to fill my time while I’m here.”
“Marigold, I’m sorry I didn’t say hello that day,” Ben uttered, making her spin around and look at him. His warm brown eyes held hers, searching. She didn’t want to go down that route. She didn’t want to be attracted to him.
This needed to be just a friendship between them and that was it. Someone who was so… so… detached?... that person needed to stay at arm’s length to protect herself – and her heart.
“That was in the past and we’ll just start over,” she said easily, feeling the falsehood roll right off her tongue. You forgive, you don’t forget, her nana said and Marigold wished she could speak with her right now. The Uber she’d requested pulled up and Marigold waved politely.
“I’m going to the… the…” she hesitated, flushing as the thought slipped her mind. She’d ...
“How about the Botanical Gardens? I looked up a few things for us to do while I was waiting for my flight,” Ben said, reaching past her and opening the car door. “Let’s focus on enjoying our time together and we can talk while seeing the sights.”
Marigold nodded tersely, unsure what to say. She felt almost raw at the fact that he’d avoided her. Did he think she was unappealing? Maybe that was why he hadn’t said hello and stopping writing as much? She wanted to go back to the days where he was writing every week. She wanted the ease between friends again and needed to concentrate on just that… being friends.
They rode in silence as Marigold stared out the window, trying not to breathe heavily as she wanted to inhale the clean scent coming off of him. There was something so wonderful about a man that smelled of soap instead of chemicals.
As they exited the car, Ben held out his arm politely. Marigold glanced at his arm, then at him. She saw something flicker in his eyes and sighed. Life was too short to have hurt feelings or be mad at someone you admired. She liked who he was on paper, even if she didn’t care for his actions.
“Friends?” he asked gently, as if he sensed her indecision.
“Friends.”
Marigold placed her hand on his arm and couldn’t help the smile that touched her lips as she looked away from him. They might be just friends, but by golly, she was going to enjoy her tour of Alaska with the most gorgeous man to ever grace God’s green earth!
“Are you certain you don’t want to massacre fish with Hody and your friend?” Ben teased quietly, handing her a cup of coffee and a small brown bag. They’d finished breakfast with all their friends just as the conversation began to turn her stomach. All the rich food and talk of ‘massacres’ and ‘murdering fish’ didn’t sit well.
Marigold looked at him and the bag questioningly.
“They we
re talking about going fishing over breakfast, remember?” Ben reminded her, setting down the bag on the table before taking a seat nearby and ruffling the ears of the large animal beside him. “I’m glad we got away from everyone, right Paladin?”
Marigold eyed the dog nervously as he stared at her.
“I prefer not to go fishing,” she admitted. “That may be Jason and Leia’s thing, but I’d rather see the Alaskan wilds than spend my day stabbing worms and sacrificing them to guppies.”
Ben laughed.
“I doubt there are guppies in the streams here. I’m thinking its salmon, pike, or trout. Something big enough to sustain bears or other animals that hunt.”
“Did you want to go down to the beach today? Paladin could play in the water for a while and chase sticks. We could enjoy the sound of the waves, see the sights, and maybe check out a few trinket shops?”
“There’s so much to see in the area that I feel like we might miss out,” she admitted, sipping on her coffee and wincing. Gosh, it was hot! The faint taste of nutmeg or cinnamon hit her tongue, surprising her.
“Did you put something in this?”
“Oh, sorry!” Ben said sheepishly, smiling. “I added it to mine and then realized it was yours by mistake. Ever since I had that masala coffee back home on base, I’ve really liked it with spices. I can get you another cup, if you’d like?” he offered.
Marigold smiled and shook her head, taking another gingerly sip.
“No. I actually add it to mine daily. The taste of the spices just seems to relax me and I like starting my day out like that. I should be thanking you for introducing me to it.”
“To being with friends,” Ben said with a warm smile, holding up his cup. Marigold held hers aloft, barely tipping it against his.
Remember Dreams Page 6