It took every iota of his strength to step back and give her physical space as well as emotional room to think.
“I guess I’d better get Evan.”
“Caden.” She reached for his hand and drew him close again. “I feel it, too, but I’m scared. What if I don’t get a job here? What if my house doesn’t sell? My real estate agent left a message and I haven’t checked it yet. What if I have to move back to Connecticut because it doesn’t sell?”
He knew her well enough to sense that what she was really worried about wasn’t any of those things. He also knew her well enough to know that she might not want to admit the truth, but he had to try to get her to open up to him. At least to the idea of them.
“What if I lie to you?” he whispered. “What if I hurt you? Isn’t that what you really mean?”
She shifted her eyes away.
“Bella, I understand. Take all the time you need. Take years if you need it. One day you’ll see who I am and understand that I don’t take commitments lightly.”
“I know that.” She tightened her grip on his hand. “I feel the same way you do. When I’m with you, everything feels right.” She pressed her lips together and her eyes grew serious. “Know what scares me the most? When I’m with you, I let myself be vulnerable, and if you know me, you know I’m anything but vulnerable.”
“Bella…”
“Let me finish, because this is hard to admit out loud. If any other man had said they wanted to put locks on my doors and windows, I’d have sent them away. If they showed up at the beach when I was there with my friends just to make sure I was okay, I’d have thought they were too possessive and found excuses to distance myself from them. If they—”
Caden ran his hand through his hair and blew out a loud breath. “So, basically you’re saying that I’ve done everything wrong.”
“No,” she said quietly. “You’ve done everything right, Caden, and for the first time in my life, I’ve allowed myself to let someone do those things.”
“Okay, now you’re confusing me. So that’s a bad thing?”
“Yes, that’s a bad thing.” She held her hands up as if she were making total sense, and for the life of him, Caden had no clue why. Nothing she was saying made any sense to him. “Don’t you see?” she pleaded.
“Treat me like a student and walk me through it, because honestly, no. I’m completely at a loss. Isn’t it good that you feel comfortable enough with me to allow me to do those things?”
“Yes. It’s a good thing, but it’s like standing on a street corner naked and waiting for the guy you’re dating to drive by—and every time he does, you wonder if he’s going to throw tomatoes or whistle.”
She nodded again, as if she were making sense. She probably was, but not in man-speak.
“Come again?”
“Ugh! Okay. Listen carefully. This morning I noticed that there was a loose board on my deck, and my first thought was, Oh, Caden can fix that for me.”
“Sure. I’m happy to.” He never considered himself a complete novice in the world of women, but now he was having his doubts.
“That’s just it. I know you will, and before you, I’d have thought, Let me get my hammer.” She held her palms up again. “See the issue? With you I let myself be a…a…”
“Girlfriend?”
“A girl.”
He couldn’t stifle a laugh. “Sorry, but uh, if you weren’t a girl, then you and I would definitely never happen.”
“Tsk.” She playfully pushed his chest and smiled. “A weak girly girl. I left that girl behind in high school, and I worked really hard to become a woman who could be completely self-sufficient. But I’m so darn comfortable with you that I let you do things I can—and should—do myself.”
He did the only thing he could do. He wrapped her in his arms.
“Bella, Bella, Bella. It’s okay to be a girly girl. In fact, I love your strong, efficient side as much as your girly girl side. What’s the worst that happens? You let me do a few things you can do on your own, and in return I let you lead me down a path of allowing myself to have a life separate from my son?”
“Yes.” She smiled up at him. “That’s exactly it. Then if you hurt me, I have to get used to doing all those things again.”
“And if you break up with me? I’d have had a taste of life with you, and after being with you, there’s no going back. So we’re in the same boat.” He kissed her lips and felt her smile. “This would have been a lot easier if you’d just said that you feel the same way but you’re afraid of becoming too reliant on me.”
She jumped from the truck. “That’s what I did say.”
Caden shook his head to try to clear his confusion.
“Just to be sure I understand. You are falling for me? And it’s okay if I do things for you and treat you like a girly girl sometimes? Or should I not fix the deck and bring you flowers?”
She grabbed her tote from the back of the truck and swung it over her shoulder. “Falling for you, check. Bring me flowers, check. Fix my deck?” She went up on tiptoes and kissed the dimple in his chin. “You’re the first guy who picked up on my love of pink. You can fix my damn deck as long as you know I’m completely capable of doing it myself.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a challenge?” He took the tote from her arm and carried it to the deck.
“No,” she said as she unlocked the door. “They usually call me a pain in the ass.”
“Well, there is that, but a welcome pain with a fine ass.”
Chapter Fourteen
BELLA MADE PASTA salad and brownies to bring to Caden’s for dinner, and when violin music weaved its way into her window, she decided to bring a few brownies to Jamie and Vera for being so nice to Evan. She found them on their deck. Jamie had a cocktail in one hand, and his other hand tapped a beat on the glass table. Vera smiled and continued playing.
“I thought I smelled something delicious. I figured Leanna was baking,” Jamie said. He pulled out a chair for Bella.
“I only have a sec. I’m on my way to Caden’s for dinner, but I wanted to bring these by and say thank you for letting Evan hang out with you.” She set the plate on the table.
Jamie looked relaxed in a pair of shorts and a loose cotton shirt. He didn’t shave on the weekends because, It makes me feel like I’m really on vacation.
“He’s an interesting kid. He’s smart as a whip, but I get the feeling he’s struggling a little,” Jamie said.
Bella heard what he said through teacher’s ears and lowered herself into the chair. She knew that it was often outsiders—teachers, coaches, neighbors—who picked up on issues with teenagers before their parents did.
“Caden said he’s going through a teenage phase. I hope he wasn’t rude to you or Vera.”
Vera stopped playing and laid the violin in her lap.
“That was beautiful, Vera,” Bella said.
“Thank you, dear.” Vera turned her attention to Jamie. “I wonder, Jamie, what did you see with Evan? He seems like a very pleasant young man, and he’s shown quite an interest in what you are teaching him. He seems to enjoy listening to me play as well.”
“He is a really nice kid. He just seemed distracted today. He was texting a lot more than he did last time, and I could see that he was struggling to give me his full attention.” Jamie sipped his drink. “Can I get you a drink?”
“No. I’m okay, thanks. I think most teenagers feel like they need to be plugged in twenty-four seven or they’ll miss something. And he’s just made new friends, so that might be part of it. I’ll have Caden talk to him. I don’t want him to be rude to you.” She made a mental note to speak to Caden about Evan’s phone etiquette.
“No, you don’t need to do that. I actually really enjoy teaching him. Last winter a buddy and I taught a workshop to a dozen or so teenagers. Even when Evan’s not fully tuned in, he’s more engaged than most kids when they’re paying full attention, and he’s respectful, which I appreciate. Especia
lly with Gram.”
Vera patted his hand.
“Are you coming into town to go fishing with us, or do you have to work?” Bella asked.
“We’re both going,” Jamie answered. “I took off work to go. I can’t miss out on all the fun.”
“This will be like old times,” Bella said. “With the addition of Kurt, Caden, and Evan. I guess we’ll need a bigger boat.”
“Don’t forget Pete. Jenna said he’s coming, too.” Jamie nodded with a grin that said, She might just reel him in after all.
“Should be a great time.”
“I feel so blessed to see each of you grow up,” Vera said. She patted Jamie’s hand again. “If only we could find a nice woman for Jamie to settle down with.”
“Gram, please. I think I can find my own woman.” He smiled at Vera.
“Bella, I’d like to attend your wedding before my old heart decides to retire,” Vera said.
“You’ll live for another fifteen years, which gives me plenty of time,” Jamie assured her.
“Don’t worry, Vera.” Bella rose to her feet and placed her hands on Jamie’s shoulders. “Look at how cute this guy is. He’s smart, sweet, and he likes kids. If worse comes to worst, you and I will set up an online dating profile and you can handpick his woman.”
Jamie covered Bella’s hands with his and looked up at her. “Paybacks are hell. Just keep that in mind.”
Bella ruffled his hair. “I’ll remember that. Have you guys seen Amy? I wanted to tell her something. Her car’s here, but I can’t find her anywhere.”
“She and Tony went into town to get stuff for a barbecue.” Jamie wrinkled his brow. “Want me to tell her whatever it is?”
“Nah. I’ll catch her when I get back tonight. Thanks.”
An hour later, Bella was sitting with Caden and Evan eating dinner on their back deck. The yard was lined with pitch pine trees, and the deck ran the length of the house. It was quiet, save for the music filtering through the screened doors that led to the living room. A cool breeze swept across Bella’s toes. She’d worn jeans and a hoodie in anticipation of the cool evening, but she fought the idea of wearing close-toed shoes in the summer.
“This was delicious, Caden. Thank you for cooking.” He’d made a shrimp and rice dish that, like him, was just the right amount of spicy and sweet.
“Dad’s a pretty good cook.” Evan didn’t look up from the text message he was typing on his phone.
Caden draped an arm across the back of Bella’s chair. “Can’t live on chicken nuggets and fries forever.” He patted his stomach.
“I could, but you won’t let me.” Evan glanced up at Caden from beneath his thick bangs.
“Old fight, different town.” Caden shifted his eyes to Bella. “Evan had a few friends in Boston who ate fast food for lunch and dinner most days. Being the odd man out was tough sometimes, but I didn’t want him eating that garbage all the time.”
“I think that’s nice,” she said. “You’re lucky, Evan. Think about what it would be like if your dad was an awful cook.”
Evan shoved his phone in his pocket and shrugged. Bella noticed he wasn’t nearly as engaged as he’d been at the barbeque, and as Evan withdrew his phone from his pocket again and Caden sighed, she knew she didn’t have to mention Jamie’s concerns.
“Ev, how about you give the texting a rest for a while?”
Evan continued texting.
The muscle in Caden’s jaw jumped. “Ev,” he said in a stern voice.
Evan sighed, finished texting, and shoved the phone back in his pocket.
“Thank you.” Caden smiled, but Bella could see that it was forced, and she tried to ease the thickening tension.
“I saw you riding your bike out of Payton’s Campground the other day. Do you have friends staying there?”
“Payton’s?” Evan squinted and shook his head, as if he had no idea what she was talking about.
“Yeah. The campground behind our development? I took the back road home the other day, and you and your friends flew out of there on your bikes, or at least I thought it was you.” She smiled at Caden, but it was wasted. His eyes were locked on Evan. “It brought back memories of riding our bikes to the beach when we were younger. It’s one of the most fun things I remember about summers here. There were times me, Jenna, Amy, and Leanna would leave Seaside in the mornings and not come back until dinnertime.”
Evan shook his head and fiddled with the arm of his chair. “I wasn’t at a campground. It must have been someone else.”
“Payton’s had a break-in the other day.” Caden pulled his arm from Bella’s chair and turned his attention to Evan.
Bella felt the heat of his scrutiny and she wasn’t even the focus of it.
Evan shrugged again, and when he met his father’s gaze, his eyes were cold, his voice serious. “Like I said, I don’t even know the place. Can I be excused? My friends are all online, and I want to play a game with them.”
“Don’t you want to stay and visit a few minutes?” Caden asked.
Evan rolled his eyes, and Bella set her hand on Caden’s tense thigh.
“It’s okay. He’ll have more fun playing with his friends than entertaining me.”
Evan lifted hopeful eyes to Caden.
“Fine. You’re right. Go ahead, buddy, but take your dishes inside.”
Evan gathered his dishes, and before he walked inside, he turned back to Bella and Caden. “Thanks for dinner, Dad. Bella, I’m glad you’re here, and thanks for introducing me to Jamie. He’s cool.”
After Evan went inside, Bella leaned closer to Caden and said, “Breathe, Dad.”
Caden shook his head. “Jeez. It’s like he changed overnight, isn’t it?”
“He’s making friends, settling in.”
“I hope that’s all it is. What made you think it was him coming out of Payton’s?” His voice was serious again.
She shrugged. “It looked like him, but kids all look alike these days. Shaggy hair, shorts, T-shirts. He said it wasn’t him, so obviously I was wrong.” I hope I was wrong, given his reaction.
Caden nodded, but she could tell he was chewing on the information.
“You’re worried?”
He shifted her chair so her knees were between his legs. “Not really. I trust Evan.”
“I know I draw on what my mom said a lot, but she used to say that when you have children, you teach them right from wrong, giving them the tools they need to make good decisions, but you can’t force them down the right path.” She leaned forward, and he met her halfway, so they were eye to eye. “Then all you can do is hope they do the right thing.”
He kissed her and smiled. “She’s right, but the fatal flaw in that thinking is that you only know if they’ve made the wrong decision after they’ve already made it. That’s the part that’s hard to swallow. I spent my life taking care of Evan. Now my job is the same, to keep him safe, but it’s hindered by a teenage attitude.”
“Oh yes, that fine line between boy and man.”
“It would be easier if we hadn’t moved. I knew his friends, and they were good kids. Here the kids are a mystery to me. I saw them in town, and then again at the beach the other day, and the kids were, I don’t know, rougher, maybe. Hardened in a way that his old friends weren’t.”
Bella leaned back in her chair. “Well, this is a tourist town, so I’d imagine that the kids who live here year-round probably spend summers the way I did. I was always with a pack of friends, riding bikes from one place to the next. It wasn’t the ocean breeze that blew through my hair at that age. It was newfound freedom. I had a bike, a new teenage body, and friends who wanted to have fun. Life was good. And what makes it even better for kids who live here year-round is that a new crop of hot girls or guys arrive weekly.”
Caden rose and began clearing the table. “Let’s not go there. I’m still getting used to him wanting to text someone more than he wants to hang with me.”
“Maybe it’s me he doesn’t wan
t to hang with. It’s an adjustment for him to have to share you.”
“It’s not you. He told me he likes you, and that you’re…” Caden arched a brow. “Hot.”
Bella smiled as she carried the dishes inside. “At least you know the boy has good taste.”
“Christ.” Caden followed her inside. “He saw that picture you sent in your sexy little nightie and boots.”
Bella gasped. “Oh my God. He did not.”
“Sure did. But he decided you were hot before that.”
She fisted her hands in his shirt and buried her face in his chest. “I’m so sorry. I’ll be more careful.”
“It didn’t seem to faze him. He just asked if we were dating.” Caden lifted her chin and kissed her. “I’m so glad we are.”
“Mm. Me too. I’m sorry about being so wishy-washy today. I’m definitely falling for you and Evan.”
Caden narrowed his eyes. “Me and Evan?”
“You’re a package deal. How could I fall for you and not him?”
“He’s not easy to fall for at the moment,” Caden said with a serious tone. “But you couldn’t have made me happier than you did by including him.”
“He’s just being a teenager, and besides, I’ve seen flashes from the non-testosterone zone, and I like them. He’s not going to be a teenager forever. I would like to spend time with him, though. I can’t just monopolize you.”
“I think at the moment he’s happy to let you monopolize me.” He kissed her again. “When we first moved here, we went surf fishing a lot. We’d get up at five o’clock in the morning, some days before school, and last night when I asked him if he wanted to go this morning, he said, Get up at five? No way.”
“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to spend time with you. It means he’s realizing that he can be separate from you. He can sleep later and go out and have as much fun with his friends as he would with you. He’s cutting the umbilical cord.”
Caden leaned against the sink and folded her into his arms. “Like I said, I get it. It’s just not easy. He’ll always be my number one responsibility, and I’m not giving that up because he wants some freedom.”
“You shouldn’t give it up. Just don’t take it personally.”
Seaside Dreams (Love in Bloom: Seaside Summers, Book One) Page 17