by Lenise Lee
If she loved him too, Shawn would never let a day pass where he would neglect to remind Miyah how his heartbeat pounded in her presence. If she denied that a spark had ever existed between them, he would leave her in peace and say no more – now or ever. Either way, Shawn had to know how this woman, whom he had placed on such a high pedestal, felt for him in return. The power to determine where their relationship journeyed after tonight was sitting in the palm of her hands.
By the time Shawn reached the parking lot, Miyah was about to open her car door.
“Miyah.”
When he called out to her, she turned to him with a startled expression. He stopped a few inches away and waited for her rattled nerves to settle.
“Shawn,” she touched her keys to the top of her chest and breathed out a sigh of relief, “You scared me.” A questioning glance lowered her arched eyebrows. “Did I forget something?”
Shawn stepped closer and looked down at her cherub face. After only a few seconds, he was already trapped by the seductive wiggle of her dark lashes.
“You forgot to say goodbye.”
Miyah looked away; worry dashed across her brow.
“Today was…”
“Silent,” he said, cutting her excuse before it lifted from her tongue. “Why?”
Miyah pursed her lips and her gaze dropped to the hard concrete below. His reasoning told Shawn not to reach for her, but he ignored the nagging advice. His palm slid along her soft cheek and urged her to look up at him. Under the florescent glow of the streetlamp, that one glance almost destroyed him. There was no doubt that Miyah was about to break his heart; nevertheless, Shawn wanted their eyes to be locked together when she did. It was the only way he would know if her answers were sincere or rehearsed lines.
“You know why.” Her voice was a tiny whisper. Uncertainty clung to every syllable.
Shawn motioned forward, closing the space that separated their bodies. He lifted his other hand and cupped Miyah’s face between his hot palms.
“I do,” he said, unable to mask the pain swirling in his hard stomach. “But I need to hear you say it…or else I won’t believe you, and I’ll never stop wanting you, Miyah.”
“Shawn…please…don’t do this,” her words trembled off her lips.
“I have to…I can’t sit on the sideline anymore without knowing if I’m a fool or not.”
Shawn leaned in and pressed his moist forehead against hers. His right hand reached down and lifted her small palm to the front of his shirt.
“Do you feel that?” After Miyah nodded weakly, he squeezed her fingers and pulled her hand flat against his chest. “That’s how hard my heart beats whenever I touch you.”
“Mine, too.”
Her confession was only an octave above a faint breeze blowing by. The words were gone almost as soon as they were spoken; yet, they were enough to cleanse one small fear. Without delay, Shawn wrapped his mighty arms around Miyah and cradled her in a delicate embrace. Although her arms hung limp at first – slowly…carefully…ever so gently – she surrounded his waist in a light hold, which was no more than a loose grasp on the hem of his shirt. Then her hesitant grip gradually became a pleading tug that pulled Shawn deeper under her spell and further into her warm arms. Miyah clung to him as feverishly as he held onto her. With great urgency, her chin tilted upward just as his was dipping down. When their mouths pressed together, an explosive wave of frantic desire burst into existence. Smoldering kisses – one after another, like a row of matches igniting into luminous and unquenchable flames – passed between eager lips and wet tongues that swiped together with burning need over and over again.
All too soon, Miyah broke their intense kiss. She looked up at him with droplets of moisture forming at the corners of her eyes.
“We’ve been friends for so long…why now?”
“Because you were already with him when we met. I wasn’t sure before,” he said while dabbing the miniature tears from her eyelashes and cheeks. “But now I know…I can make you happy, Miyah. I saw it this morning…He’s not right for you…I am.”
With unpredictable suddenness, Miyah abandoned his loving embrace. He must have struck a protective impulse in her mind.
“We can’t let this happen, Shawn.” Her arousing tone had gone flat.
“Why not?”
He tried to recapture her, but Miyah stepped further away from his reach.
“Because I’m marrying Will in less than a month.”
Shawn’s intense gaze refused to break their intimate connection. He needed to hear her speak the sore words that would finally force him to walk away.
“Can you honestly say that you’ve never imagined us being together, Miyah? Tell me that whenever you’re with me you don’t feel the same passion I do.” He leaned forward and yielded to passing another gentle stroke along her cheekbone with the back of his fingers. This time, she didn’t move from his pleading touch. “If you can say that you don’t love me, Miyah, and that our kiss meant nothing to you, I’ll never bring this up again.”
A runaway tear streaked down her hazelnut skin and rolled over Shawn’s fingers.
“I didn’t come to Seattle to fall in love with someone else.” Each word scraped his ears and twisted knots in his stomach. “I only moved here to be with Will and to marry him after he settled into his new job. Please, Shawn…don’t make me choose, because I’ll always choose him.”
He had heard enough; there was no use in prolonging his inevitable defeat. This was a love affair that was never destined to bloom. Shawn bit back everything else he wanted to confess. There was nothing he could say or do to convince Miyah that she was making a mistake. Soul-shaking affection was hovering in her voice and surging around the rims of her eyes, but he knew that Miyah was too honorable to betray the man she had already sworn an oath to. The battle was lost, and Shawn had to leave before his heart was trampled beyond repair.
He released her from his hold and stepped back several inches.
“Goodnight, Miyah.” Shawn offered her as much of a smile as he could pull together. “See you tomorrow. Drive safe,” he said, while turning away and heading toward the bistro’s back door.
4
On the following day, Miyah was a no-show for her shift.
Her unexplained absence set off an alarm in Shawn’s mind. He had revealed too much of what was swimming in his soul far too fast. Instead of sweeping her up into his arms to treasure forever – as he had hoped – Shawn’s heartfelt revelation had backfired and only succeeded in scaring her away.
When 10 AM chimed on the punch-clock next to his office door, the deadline to check on the missing woman’s whereabouts had arrived. Shawn picked up the desk phone and dialed Miyah’s cell number. To his surprise, the line immediately rolled over to her voicemail. Her cheery voice repeated a message he had only heard a handful of times before today. No matter what day of the week and regardless of what time of day or evening, Miyah had always answered his call. A dismal dread draped itself around Shawn’s square shoulders. As fast as his fingers could punch the buttons, he tapped out the number to Miyah’s second number. Out of respect for her, Shawn rarely dialed her home phone. It was no secret that he and her boyfriend had a mutual dislike for one another. The two men had met in person only a few times, all of which were too many for Shawn to stomach. On first sight, both males had grudgingly and wordlessly agreed to keep their distance from one another whenever possible. Perhaps it was a clash of ego, but Shawn was certain it had more to do with the woman standing between them than anything else.
The phone line rang nearly ten times with no response and without an answering machine picking up the call. On the eleventh ring, Shawn disconnected the call and sat the phone into its cradle. He leaned his elbows on the hard surface of his desk then ruffled agitated fingers through his ear-length hair. After contemplating leaving to drive to her house, he quickly dismissed the thought. Shawn had crossed his boundaries last night, and he didn’t want to further comp
licate this disastrous fallout by showing up at Miyah’s door unannounced.
Her delicate face, along with all of the intense emotions pouring from her eyes, floated into his mind again. Should he have worked harder at tearing down the barrier she was holding up between them? Should Shawn have allowed Miyah to slip away without convincing her to take a chance on loving him? Even if they never shared another fiery kiss or drizzling touch, he didn’t want to destroy the bond they shared. Shawn still wanted Miyah close to him, and within reach of his tender comfort. She needed someone to remind her of how beautiful she was – in her spirit, and especially in her perfect feminine frame. Every time he looked at her over these past few months, Shawn saw the draining effects of a man who claimed to love her, but who only wanted to remake Miyah in the image he had chosen for her.
The loud clang of pans tumbling to the floor in the nearby kitchen pulled Shawn’s attention back to the present moment. He tapped his fingers on the phone once more then stood up before he caved in to dialing the same two numbers again. As he walked out of the door to inspect the source of the clatter, he made a mental note to try Miyah again later in the afternoon. She couldn’t ignore his phone calls forever, and he sincerely hoped it wasn’t her intention to try to do so.
On the night of her indiscretion, Miyah’s loyalty to Will had demanded that she reveal to him all that had taken place with Shawn.
The only way she had been able to convince the man who had been raving with jealousy not to confront his rival was to swear to William that she would never accept any contact from Shawn after that night. It was a decision that Miyah didn’t want to make under such hostile circumstances; however, she was driven by devotion to choose the man she had pledged herself to over a friendship that had tipped too far over the boundaries of innocent and longing glances.
Shawn’s sizzling touch had thrilled Miyah to heights she no longer experienced under Will’s chilly kisses. Nevertheless, wicked fantasies were not an excuse to leave a relationship she was committed to for a lifetime. All couples go through an estranged period, and Miyah understood that she and William were no different. In time, their frosty relationship would warm again and return to the words of praise and the passionate lovemaking that had won her heart while they dated in college. Even if her roaming daydreams of Shawn would not immediately diminish, the memory of his haunting gray eyes and sensual Irish tongue would fade into nothingness after awhile. Shawn was the first man to snatch Miyah’s attention away from the love of her life, and she would do her best to ensure that he was her last adulterous distraction. Once she was a wife, no other man should ever capture her mind or tempt her heart to such a blistering degree.
On the very first day that she went missing from her job, Miyah nearly broke her promise. Three times his name scrolled across her cell phone and three times she had to clench her fists tight to prevent herself from answering Shawn’s calls. By the end of the next day, Miyah had finally summoned just enough detachment to send her letter of resignation via email. She kept the message brief and avoided all references to their kiss. The reply Shawn sent was almost heartbreaking to read – Miyah…talk to me…I still want you in my life…Remember what I said…I can’t replace you.
One phone call a day for the next seven days followed. Although Miyah had hoped the distress at passing up a chance to hear Shawn’s voice one more time would fade, the heavy strain on her heart only grew more challenging to ignore. On the last evening, upon receiving his final text, Miyah was only one breath away from forsaking her vow to leave Shawn in her past – Come back to me, Miyah…I miss you. Tears streamed down her face as she read the message several times over. Even so, her resistance held and Shawn’s attempts at reaching out to her went silent.
5
Less than two weeks later, William disappeared past midnight for a second time.
Until only a few nights ago, he seemed to be steadily transitioning into a comfortable role of provider and future husband. By all appearances, Will had seemed happy to have Miyah home more often and was eager to help fill the financial hole that leaving her old job so suddenly had caused. Her fiancé had even strayed away from continually interrogating her about her diet. Eventually, and to Miyah’s great disappointment, he fell back into his old routine. Spending hours missing after work and staying up well after Miyah had fallen asleep.
A horrible feeling of déjà vu descended over her conscious as Miyah stared at the blazing red numbers on her clock again. This time, no matter how often her eyes darted to her cell phone, no rings chimed from the tiny piece of plastic and circuits. One by one, hour by hour, the numbers ticked away on the timepiece next to her bedside, and still no word from Will. Shortly after three in the early AM hours, Miyah struggled to keep her eyelids propped open. Minutes before the first birdsong floated through the predawn morning, the woman tumbled into a deep and chilling sleep.
All night, thoughts of accident scenes and other gut-wrenching nightmares chased Miyah. Finally, a few minutes before noon on the following day, the sunbeams pushing through the window coaxed her out of the frightening slumber.
Upon awakening, Miyah’s brain was boiling over with terrible doses of fear and hate. As she contemplated the whereabouts of her missing boyfriend, both of those foreign emotions hacked away at her once-peaceful sanity. If he was still alive, Miyah hoped Will was armed with a convincing excuse for the ordeal he was dragging her through.
When the woman couldn’t contain the torment digging in her stomach any longer, Miyah dialed the only other number she knew to reach Will at. He had warned her not to call the mobile phone his job provided for him, except under extreme emergencies. Since she had not heard from William in nearly twenty-four hours, Miyah placed this situation under that category.
“Hello?” A female’s flirty voice answered the number Miyah had just dialed.
Believing she had mistyped the phone number, she pulled the cell from her ear and stared at the digits on the screen. No…this was no mistake. Miyah had entered the right combination of numbers; however, she couldn’t understand why a female was answering Will’s unlisted business line.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
The other woman spoke again, but Miyah remained breathlessly mute. A thousand questions ran through her mind like an oncoming train wreck, yet not one of them would steam roll past her lips. The air over the phone line shuffled, as if the woman was pulling the phone away from her face. In the background of the hushed space, Miyah heard her counterpart say two more words before the line went dead…Oh…damn.
If the other woman had recognized Miyah’s number on Will’s caller ID before she accepted the call, would she still have answered? Was there a chance a female co-worker had picked up the ringing mobile phone as a favor and disconnected it in error? Were all of the heart-pounding fears running through Miyah’s mind right now unnecessary? There was only one way to know for sure. Miyah scrambled to punch in the digits several times, but only the voicemail picked up her frenzied dialing. No matter how long she waited and retried the number, the automated message never switched off.
His eyes had to be deceiving him. Shawn couldn’t believe what he saw strolling past the wide windows of his downtown bistro. As fast as his legs could move, he made a quick path out the front entrance.
When Shawn caught up to William and the woman who was dangling off his right arm, he pulled the other man around by his shoulder.
“Where’s Miyah?”
Will stared at him with menace in his eyes, but Shawn was far from intimidated. The bustling lunchtime crowd that was traveling the sidewalk darted around the pair of tense males. Both brawny men held an uneasy silence before Miya’s fiancé finally returned a snappy response.
“None of your business.”
“Miyah is my business.” Shawn moved within an inch of his adversary’s glaring face. “What did you say to her to make her quit? She loved her job.”
The second man laughed loud.
“If I were
you, I wouldn’t get too involved in other people’s relationships.” A cocky sneer appeared on his mouth. “Last time I checked, she was engaged to me, not you.”
“So this is how you treat the woman who’s going to be your wife?” Shawn nodded toward the unfamiliar female.
“Will, who is this?” The female looked to the cheating man for an answer, but he ignored her question.
William dropped his companion’s arm and intensified his glare.
“My woman is taken care of and that’s as much as you need to know.”
“You don’t deserve Miyah…You never did.”
“Whatever you say, man.” Another snicker boomed out of Will’s throat. “Why don’t you run back to your little café and try to meet your own lady instead of trying to steal mine.”
Shawn crushed his fists into tight balls, but stepped back from his rival. It would be too easy to knock Will off his high horse. However, that reaction would only end with Shawn in handcuffs and far removed from ever being able to see Miyah again.
“You’ll never love her the way I do. It won’t take much longer for her to see that.”
Before the furious man’s throbbing fists acted out the anger sweltering in his chest, Shawn turned and paced away from the hostile scene.