by Maya Banks
To Amy for pushing me when I needed it and never letting me settle for less. For telling me this was the book. You were right.
To Roberta for making this happen.
To Karin, we’ve hung in there together for a lot of years. This wouldn’t be nearly as fun without you.
To Jan, Liz, Edie and Michelle. I couldn’t ask for a better support network.
To Holly and Fru for being my number one fans. I love you both.
To Melissa and Jennifer for such great feedback. I couldn’t ask for better readers. You keep me honest.
To Jess, your support and friendship mean a lot.
To “Loo-gey” for being the best friend I could ever hope to have.
what she wants
CHAPTER 1
Travis “Mac” McKenzie pushed back his Stetson as he stepped into the Two Step Bar and Café. He scanned the smoky interior from left to right, taking in every person, looking for anything out of the ordinary. But all he saw was the usual crowd, mostly locals out having a good time.
The jukebox blared the latest rowdy country tune, and three couples navigated the center floor in a jerky rendition of a two-step.
As he stepped further into the bar, a few of the drunker customers sat up and took notice of his uniform. But he wasn’t there to bust anyone for disorderly conduct. He was there to make sure Kit didn’t have any trouble.
His eyes traveled to the back of the room where Kit Townsend was busy pouring drinks. Her back was to him, and he took in her curvy ass, outlined by a pair of too-short cutoff jeans.
His body reacted to her even across the room. It was easy to imagine those shapely legs wrapped around him, his hands cupping her perfect breasts. He curled his fingers into fists to ease the ache. He’d waited a long time for her. She was worth it, but he wasn’t going to wait any longer.
She stopped every once in awhile and glanced furtively around as if she didn’t trust someone not to jump out at her when she wasn’t expecting it. And who could blame her after what had happened six months earlier?
His gut tightened uncomfortably, and he flexed his hands as the familiar anger surged through his veins. Someone had done his best to take Kit away from Mac, from any chance he had of making her his. She was running scared now, a fact she tried to hide, but Mac saw the shadows in her eyes every time he looked at her.
He glanced to the corner where his buddy Ryder Sinclair sat nursing a beer. He lifted his brow in silent question, and Ryder shook his head.
Mac started over in Ryder’s direction. Since the attack on Kit, the two had made damn sure one of them was close by at all times. They’d been taking care of Kit since they were kids. Only they’d failed her in a big way.
“How’s it going?” Ryder asked lazily, tipping his beer in Mac’s direction.
Mac took off his Stetson and dropped it on the table, then settled his large frame into a chair. “Busy night or I’da been here sooner. Everything okay around here?”
Ryder shrugged. “Same ole, same ole.”
Mac watched as Kit surveyed the room as if she were looking for someone or something. Her usually expressive green eyes were shadowed, reserved. Her entire demeanor had changed for the worse. The outgoing, sassy, fire-breathing spitfire he and Ryder had known all their lives had been replaced by a girl neither of them knew. Or knew how to handle.
She was afraid. And that pissed Mac off to no end. He’d love to find the bastard who had taken her spirit and kill him with his bare hands.
“Still no leads, huh?” Ryder mumbled.
Mac shook his head. “We’re dumbasses, Ryder.”
“Yeah well, tell me something I don’t know.”
“If we hadn’t fucked around, played stupid games, she’da been at home in bed with us instead of where she was that night.”
Ryder crooked his lip and nodded before tipping back his bottle again. “We couldn’t have known. Hell, we were all having fun. Flirting. Just like old times.”
“I may have fucked up any chance I have with her,” Mac muttered. “She didn’t have a whole lot of trust in her system to begin with, and after what happened . . . ” He let his thoughts trail off. He knew he and Ryder were the only two people Kit trusted, but had that survived in the face of her attack? He didn’t know, and he was afraid to press her.
Ryder arched his brow then leaned forward, his beefy arms resting on the table. The tattoo on his upper arm bulged and flexed as he gripped his beer bottle.
“Wait a minute. Just how serious about her are you?”
Mac gave him a dark look. “Come on, Ryder. You’re not stupid. Just because I entertained a threesome with you and her doesn’t mean she’s a cheap lay.”
“I never said she was,” Ryder said mildly. He ran his hand through his hair and shoved it behind his left ear, baring a row of earrings.
Mac shook his head. He liked to give Ryder hell about the earrings and the tattoos, of which there were at least three, but secretly, he envied his give-a-shit attitude. And Kit was every bit the rebel Ryder was.
Growing up with the two of them was an experience in daring. Kit and Ryder had decided to go out and get tattoos one night during their senior year in high school. They’d dared Mac to get one, but he’d gone along for the ride only. Between them, they embodied a lot of the traits Mac wished he possessed himself. Maybe it was why he had gravitated toward them in their younger days.
He still remembered the night Kit had shown them just where she’d gotten her tattoo. It wasn’t something he was likely to forget in this life time. He could get a raging hard-on just thinking about it.
She’d be a firebrand in bed, and even though a threesome had been on his and Ryder’s minds for a long time, Mac knew it wasn’t enough for him. Ryder was okay with good times, great sex and easy friendship, but Mac wanted more. He wanted Kit.
“Look, I’m just pissed because we fucked around and didn’t act on an attraction that was obvious. She wanted us. We wanted her. And because we sat on our hands for too long, some fucking psycho hurt her. I don’t like how it’s changed her.”
Ryder stared over at Kit, his dark eyes hooded. “No,” he said slowly. “I don’t like it either.”
“We’ve waited long enough. I wanted to give her space to deal with what happened, but what I really want is to make sure no one ever hurts her again, and I can’t do that unless she’s home with me, in my bed.”
Ryder sat back and stared at Mac for a long moment.
Mac frowned. “I don’t like it when you look at me like that, bro. It usually means you’re overtaxing that pea brain of yours.”
Ryder grinned crookedly. “I just don’t want to step on any toes. I get the feeling you’re not into this for the sex only.”
“She wants us,” Mac replied. “She knows our history. She didn’t pull the idea from the air, that’s for damn sure. But I won’t lie to you. In the end, I want to be the one she comes home to.”
Ryder shrugged. “Fair enough. As long as we know where we stand. Given her attitude about relationships, I’m surprised you’d even entertain that notion.”
Mac followed Kit’s progress across the room. “I aim to change her mind.”
Kit took in Mac and Ryder sitting across the room out of the corner of her eye. They were regular fixtures these days, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why.
She plunked down a round of beers to the table she was serving, not even bothering with her usual smile. She nodded at the guy two tables down who motioned for another beer and headed back to the bar.
She set her tray down and quickly rattled off her mixed-drink order to David, then began pouring beer out of the tap.
“Busy tonight,” David shouted above the din.
She nodded and snuck anothe
r sideways look at Mac and Ryder. They were both staring at her. She blew out her breath in a mixture of irritation and sadness. Once they’d looked at her with lust in their eyes. Now she had a hard time figuring out if they viewed her with pity or disgust. Or something else entirely.
She prided herself on knowing where she stood with people. She was a no-bullshit kinda girl, but that note had changed everything. It made her question her instincts. She didn’t like feeling vulnerable. It had made up entirely too much of her past, and in her adult life, she’d flipped that past the finger.
“Honey, if they stare at you any harder, they’re going to eat you for dinner,” Rose said beside her.
Kit looked up at the other waitress as Rose gave her drink order to David.
“I wish,” she muttered.
Rose looked at her with a mixture of pity and sadness. “You can’t let what happened hold you back, girl. Those men won’t wait around forever.”
Kit ground her teeth. Rose was well meaning, but Kit hated when people pried into her business. She smiled through her teeth and said, “Thanks, Rose. I appreciate your concern.”
She turned her back, arranged the beer and drinks on her tray and headed back into the crowd. She wished it was as simple as throwing a few veiled invitations, whispering a few bold words, then enjoying sex with two hot guys.
“Hey, darlin’,” Ryder said in a low voice as she passed their table.
Despite her sour mood, she smiled as Ryder’s slow sexy voice rolled over her. She felt a quiver deep in her belly, and it fanned out in waves.
“What’s up, guys?” she asked lightly.
“You gonna come talk to us tonight?” Ryder asked, flashing her a grin.
It was too easy to fall back into their flirtation. She winked at him and gave him a sassy smile. “Sure. Let me deliver these drinks. Can I get you anything on my way back?”
Mac regarded her with those dark blue make-you-come-with-one-look eyes, and she felt the flutter rise from her stomach into her throat. Damn the man was sexy as hell. They both were, and there was never a time that she hadn’t known it. If they both hadn’t left town when they did, she would have had them years ago. But like everyone else in her life, they’d left her behind. Now that they were back, she wanted to be closer to them. They made her feel safe.
“I’ll take a water,” Mac said.
“You can bring me another beer,” Ryder said as he downed his last swig.
She winked again and sashayed away from the table. She felt alive around those two. Like she could erase the past. Like she was the most sexy, desirable woman on earth.
She delivered her drinks then made a trip back to the bar for a glass of water and a beer. David leaned over and said in a low voice, “Trouble at six o’clock.”
Before she could turn around, she felt a firm grip on her ass. She froze.
“Hey sweet thang, what do you say you and me hook up after you get off.”
Gerald. Fuck.
She whirled around, but Gerald only tightened his grip on her rear. The dumbass was drunk as a skunk and didn’t have the sense God gave a mule.
“If you don’t get your hand off me, you’re going to lose your right nut. You got me?”
He put his hands up in exaggerated surrender. “Hey now. I was just being friendly-like.”
“Don’t you ever fucking touch me,” she hissed.
“S’cuuuuse me. How ’bout a kiss. I can apologize nicely.”
It might mean her job, but at this point she didn’t give a fuck. She paused only long enough to slam her tray back on the counter, then she decked him.
He went down in a heap, holding his nose and bellowing like a branded bull. David hopped over the bar and subdued Gerald before he could get back up. Suddenly a big body stepped between her and the two men on the floor. Mac.
“I’ll take care of this, David.”
Mac’s voice was tight with anger. She glanced over to see Ryder standing a few feet away, fire in his eyes.
“I believe I can handle this,” she said dryly.
Mac glanced at her but didn’t stop as he hauled Gerald off the floor.
“That bitch bloodied my nose!” Gerald raged.
Kit shoved past Ryder and inserted herself in front of Gerald. “You ever touch me again, asshole, and that’s not all I’ll bloody.”
Ryder pulled her back, and Mac shoved Gerald toward the door.
“Easy, darlin’,” Ryder drawled.
She glared at him and jerked her arm out of his grasp. “I was doing just fine before you and Mac interfered.”
He shrugged. “No one said you weren’t. But we’ve looked out for you all our lives. Don’t expect us to stop now.”
Her heart sank. Of course they were looking out for her. Why else would they be here? Certainly not because they wanted hot, sweaty, monkey sex with her.
“I’m not a scared little girl anymore, Ryder,” she said in a low voice.
He studied her for a long moment, his eyes probing her. “I think you are scared, Kit. And who could blame you? Someone attacked you. They hurt you.”
She flinched and turned away. She and Ryder grew up in very similar situations. Rotten home life. Parents who didn’t give a shit. Sometimes she thought he understood her better than anyone. They’d spent many a night with Mac out by the lake, hiding from the reality of what waited for them at home.
And then Mac and Ryder had gone away. She’d missed them terribly. When they’d returned home, she had every intention of resuming their easy friendship. Only she wanted more. She knew Ryder had the same view of relationships she did. No entanglements, no messy emotional upheavals. Sex between them should be easy. No strings. But she wasn’t sure where Mac stood. Once she’d thought he wanted her every bit as much as she wanted him, but the attack changed everything. Including the way he and Ryder looked at her, and she couldn’t stand it.
If she hadn’t been so damn coy and stupid, she would have never found herself in the situation she had that night. It wasn’t like her not to be straightforward, on the level, but she’d played a game of flirtation and hard to get, and she’d paid dearly for it.
“I don’t like that look,” Ryder said.
She glanced guiltily back up at him. “You shoving off?” she asked, desperate to change the subject.
He crooked his brow at her. “You trying to get rid of me?”