“Davey,” Tyler cried out as he exploded, his body shuddering. Collapsing on top of Davey’s back, he dragged his face through Davey’s sweat and rolled over, looking over at his lover. Tyler held his hand up to show his lover’s cum coating his hand. He licked at one of his fingers, then sucked it into his mouth.
“Oh God! That’s so hot, I think I’m hard again.” Davey leaned in and kissed Tyler, stroking across Tyler’s tongue. “I can taste myself. Fuck!” He raised one eyebrow.
“That’s sexy,” Tyler laughed.
“You’re sexy, baby. God, I just love everything about you.” He draped himself over Tyler’s shoulders and nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck.
Tyler wrapped his arms around Davey’s shoulders. His lover just told him that he loved everything about him. Did that mean he loved Tyler? Like love-love?
He kissed and nibbled at Davey’s shoulder. He didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t the three words. “I love you.” So, did he have to say anything? Did he want to say it? He did, but he was afraid of it, knowing they couldn’t be together like a real couple. This stupid thing between them had spiraled out of control and he’d become too attached. He’d made a mistake spending more time with Davey.
“Davey. I gotta go.”
“Let’s get breakfast first, at least. I have eggs and stuff.” His voice sounded pleading. What was he saying?
“I don’t know. What time is it?”
Davey leaned over and picked up a cell phone off the little side table. “It’s not even nine. Please stay awhile.” He sat there, naked and vulnerable, pleading with his deep blue eyes.
“Yeah, okay.” Tyler wiped his hand down his chest. He smelled like Davey’s spunk, and he liked it. He gripped his cock and pulled the condom off. “I need a shower.”
“Sure. I’ll start breakfast.” Davey grabbed a towel and a pair of shorts and darted out of the bedroom, leaving Tyler sitting on the bed feeling like shit. He knew he had to pull back, but damn he didn’t want to.
After a shower, he sat at the table by the little kitchen. The front living space was a big open area with table, kitchen, and couch all angled perfectly together to maximize the space. It wasn’t the newest or nicest RV, but it was comfortable and just perfect for one or two. The eggs were scrambled and Tyler sprinkled Tabasco on the top and dug in. “This is good, Davey.”
Davey pushed his eggs around his plate, not actually eating. “Thanks,” he muttered without even looking up.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just not as hungry as I thought.”
“Bullshit.”
Davey stood up and left without a word, heading to the bedroom. Tyler followed.
“Come on, Davey. Talk to me.”
He didn’t say anything. He sat on the bed with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. His gaze darted around the room, never landing on Tyler.
“Davey. What’d I do?”
“Nothing. I just.” He laid his forehead against his knees.
Tyler sat down beside him, close but not touching. “How ‘bout this? You let yourself be open with me. You bared yourself. Shared something you never have before. Then I reacted by saying I had to go.”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Fuck.”
Davey lifted his head. His eyes were watering. “I feel exposed, raw.”
“I’m sorry.” He desperately didn’t want to hurt his lover, but he didn’t know how to protect himself without tearing Davey down further. “I’m scared, Davey. Fucking terrified of this. Don’t you get it? How can we let ourselves get so close, so attached? Fuck! What we’re doing. I think I have to go.” Tyler got up and grabbed his clothes and shoved them in to his duffle bag. His heart thumped out a heavy metal rhythm against his ribs. He had to get out of there and stop putting his life and his heart in jeopardy. He loved his job, loved the track, the bikes, the dirt and the grease. He’d never find a job he loved more. He wanted to pull his lover up in his arms and make him feel better, and those tender feelings scared the shit out of him. They meant trouble.
“I’m sorry, Davey. I just can’t screw up my life for a good fuck.” He grabbed the rest of his shit, tucking it into his bag as he bolted for the front door of the RV, letting it slam behind him. He didn’t look back.
11
Stewart pounded on the door right at noon. Davey still lay on his bed, facedown in a damp pillow. He sat up and rubbed at his face and eyes, not wanting Stewart to see his tears. “Coming!” He pulled on his Spiderman T-shirt, the first one he could get his hands on, and headed to the front of the RV.
The eggs from breakfast still sat on the table, Tyler’s half-eaten, his own just shoved around. He should be hungry, but he just wasn’t.
He opened the door and Stewart practically launched himself up the stairs and into the living room. “You ready?”
“Not particularly.”
“What the hell? Is he still here?”
Davey sighed deeply. “No. You don’t have to worry about it.”
Stewart eyed the breakfast table and Davey felt his eyes on him, too. He’d figure it out, Stewart had a quick brain. “What’s that mean?”
“I scared him off. We’re over. I guess.” Davey didn’t want to believe it, not after the words they’d exchanged and everything they had done. It had been so much more to him than just a physical relationship. A good fuck.
Stewart put his hands on his hips, cocked one knee out, and looked at the floor. “Damn. I don’t know what to say. I mean, all this time I’ve been damned thankful that you were so serious about your riding that you didn’t let chicks get to you. I never realized. And now I feel bad.”
“What do you have to feel bad for? I’m the one that just lost his boyfriend, asshole.” He spit the words out before thinking about it. “Shit. Sorry. I’m just, I feel like shit.”
“No, that’s okay, Davey. I just meant that I felt bad for you. Guess I didn’t quite realize, or want to admit it. How serious were you?”
“Apparently, I was a lot more serious than him.”
“You don’t know that. Maybe—”
“It doesn’t matter,” Davey said. “Just give me a minute to get ready.” He jumped in the shower real quick wanting to wash off what was left from his last round of sex with Tyler. Part of him wished he could keep it, but that was stupid. Under the shower, he could only think about Tyler going down on him there, and washing Tyler’s hair. That simple act had been so sensual, like nothing else. His heart just flat out ached. He forced himself to think of other things. He had to pull his shit together. He had a job to do: autographs to sign and a fucking race to win.
12
Tyler checked in to his hotel room. When he dropped his bag, his hands shook so badly, he had a hard time pulling up Janie’s number, but he managed.
“Ty? ‘Sup?” Janie’s voice was light and carefree, just the way she always was. She didn’t let things get to her; she never did.
“I…I, uh, I fucked up. I fucked up bad and I don’t know what to do.”
“What? You sound horrible. What happened?”
His voice trembled as badly as his hands. “I think I broke up with Davey.”
“What do you mean, you think?”
Tyler sat on the edge of one of the queen-sized beds. “Oh, shit. This is so bad. He must hate me.” Tyler squeezed his eyes shut. He got Davey to let him top, and then when Davey said he loved everything about Tyler, he freaked and bolted. He must have made Davey feel worthless and used. “It’s probably the worst thing a guy could ever do.”
There was silence on the other end of the phone. “Uh, Tyler. What did you do? I know you’re not the type to fuck with someone.”
“I did. I didn’t mean to, but I just, I freaked out. Okay? I stormed out like my ass was on fire.”
“Ohhhh! Why?”
“He, I, it’s just too much, too fast. We can’t even be a fucking couple. Fuck!” Tyler grabbed at his hair.
It just wasn’t fair. The necessity of keeping up the image and status wrapped up with the Supercross industry made him back off when he normally wouldn’t. “I’m scared, Janie. If anyone finds out, I’ll lose my job. You know what it means to me.”
“So, when you thought Davey was holding on too tight, you freaked out and bolted, leaving him high and dry. Is that it?”
“Pretty much.” He felt like a total shit. He didn’t deserve Davey.
“You know you’re a total dickhead now. I’m extremely pissed at you.”
“Pissed at me?”
“Yeah, you! You just pulled the ultimate dick move. Do you know how that feels to be on the other side? I do. Remember Frank Bascomb? Hm? I can’t believe the Tyler I know would do that to anyone, especially someone he cares so much about.”
Frank Bascomb was a big hang-up for Janie. She met the weightlifting junkie in her gym. Sure, he looked good, but that didn’t negate his asshole membership, only dating Janie long enough to get in her pants. Once she finally put out, the meathead split. Not returning her calls or texts, he basically told her to get lost. It broke her heart for about a week. Maybe longer. Until the next guy came along. That thought made Tyler feel worse. What if Davey found someone else?
“I know, Janie, that’s why I’m calling you. Help me. What do I do to fix this?”
“First, you better think about what you want from him. You can’t keep yanking him around like a yo-yo.”
“What I want? Fuck!” He stood up and started pacing the room. “I want him. I’m totally so into him, but it just can’t happen.”
“Are you in love with him?”
Tyler didn’t answer right away. He didn’t know the answer. “Janes! I don’t know. I can’t even think about figuring this out. This is so unfair. Mostly unfair to Davey.” He plopped down on the floor and leaned back against the bed. “What he said and how he acted. What he did for me. I think he could be in love with me.”
“Did he say that?”
“Not exactly.”
He heard Janie crunching on something. “Well, what exactly?” She sounded like she had her mouth full.
“Swallow, Janie.”
“Shut up! What did he say?”
“He said he loved everything about me. Not the ‘I love you’ but close enough, and he said it right after I, uh.” He suddenly didn’t want to tell her any more. She would think even worse of him, but she probably already figured it out.
“After you what?”
“Nothing. Never mind.”
“No! Not nothing, never mind. Tyler Johnathon Whitmore! You tell me right now.”
“Fine, Mom! Right after I fucked him. Okay? Happy now?” He threw his hands in the air, exasperated.
“And that’s why you bolted?” she asked.
“Uh. Sort of.”
“I don’t like you anymore. Who are you?”
He leaned over and put his forehead on the carpet. “One scared puppy. What do I do, Janie?”
“First, fucking call him! Tell him everything you just told me and then figure out what you two really want and how to make it work. Stop being a douche.”
“Thanks. You know you’re kinda bitchy.”
“Fuck you, Whitmore.”
“Thanks, Janie. I got to get to work.”
They hung up and Tyler felt a little better. She was absolutely right. He just didn’t know if he could tell Davey how he felt and make him understand. That was assuming Davey would even listen to him, which he probably wouldn’t. Hell, he’d said it was all just a good fuck, but damned if he meant it. Davey was so much more than that. Trying would be better than wallowing in self-pity. He did have to get to the track, though. He texted Davey, I’m sorry. Can we talk later? Please. He tucked his phone in his pocket. He didn’t expect to hear from him any time soon.
Tyler headed out to the Georgia Dome where he’d meet up with his team and start prepping out the bikes. He found a place to park the rental car and walked down to the track where they had team trailers lined up. The faces of the different racers or their numbers along with the sponsor logos all painted on trucks, trailers and banners made a kaleidoscope of colors, as he walked up to Cole’s setup with the colossal red and black KTM logo and ran smack into Cody Barret, his boss.
“What’s up Whitmore? Where you been?” Though older, Cody still looked to be in his thirties with dark hair, kept short and few lines on his face. He commanded his team with the stature of a king, shoulder’s back and gaze regal.
“I’m not late, am I?” He knew he wasn’t late, but he hadn’t been hanging out with the team, either and that change in behavior would be noticed.
“Nah. Just wondering where you’ve been.”
“Around.”
“Fine.” Cody narrowed his eyes at him, as if suspicious. “Go on and help Andy with that one.” He pointed at one of the 250 bikes.
“Sure.” Disappointed with the assignment but not willing to argue about it lest his extracurricular activities be brought up again, Tyler got right to work. He focused hard, trying not to think about Davey. It didn’t take long before he was lost in the zone. A few hours passed before he even knew it. Then, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He was up to his elbows in grease and buried in the bike, unable to stop and answer the phone, but it obliterated his concentration.
“Watch it, Ty!” Andy called out.
They worked closely together to get the 250 bike up to speed. The rider didn’t perform well last week and blamed the bike. Tyler and Andy did find a few issues, but they were almost done fixing it.
Andy grumbled, “Shit, Ty. I got this. Go on. Take a break.”
Tyler backed away from the bike for a second, taking a moment to get his head back together. “No, I’m good,” he said, not wanting to leave Andy to finish alone.
Andy looked down his long nose. His eyes seemed a little too small for his face, making him look like a hawk or a vulture. “You’re head took a nosedive, soon as your phone started buzzing. Take a break. Take care of your shit, then get back here. Cool?”
“Yeah.” Tyler headed over to wash off his hands. Andy was right. Ever since the phone started buzzing, all he could see in his head was Davey, not the job. Davey, writhing under him; Davey, his hand pressed against the shower door and head thrown back in ecstasy while Tyler sucked him off; Davey, cuddled up on the couch and kissing him until both their lips and cheeks were red and swollen; and Davey making up stupid nicknames for him and dragging his hands through Tyler’s hair as if he couldn’t keep them out of there and his stupid superhero T-shirts scattered across the floor. He dried his hands and grabbed his phone. His breath caught in his throat as he glanced at Davey’s message.
Yes. Of course. Text me when you’re off and we’ll meet up.
Tyler’s fingers flew across his key pad. Thanks - really. I will. I’m sorry.
Davey answered right away. We will talk - 2nite.
Tyler turned his phone off and tucked it back in his pocket. He felt the pressure in his chest ease up. He hadn’t even realized how constricted his chest had felt until that moment of relief. He took a deep breath, willing his hands not to shake. The thought of losing Davey was throwing him into fits. He should have known he was in too deep to back out. He took a second deep breath. He had to get back to work, and Davey would wait for him.
Hours later, Cody finally called the day. Tyler and Andy had accomplished a lot, almost completely rebuilding the bike. He was exhausted and hungry. “Coming out for some grub with us?” Andy asked, as if reading his mind, but to be honest, none of them had even stopped for lunch, so they all must have been hungry too.
“No. I, uh, have stuff to do,” Tyler begged off.
Andy held up his hands, still holding a socket wrench. “What the hell do you have to do here in Atlanta, Colorado-kid?”
“It’s personal.”
“What could be personal? Unless you’re meeting up with a hot chick or something?” Andy lifted his eyebrows, mockingly. “Maybe one of
the track girls? That one holding the 30-second board for the Main Event last week was scorching!”
Tyler couldn’t help but blush. “Something like that,” he said, hoping Andy wouldn’t push for details.
Andy held out his empty hand, still coated in grease, for a knuckle bump. “All right, then.”
Tyler bumped his fist against Andy’s, smiled shyly and headed out to the rental car. He climbed in and cranked the car, then pulled out his phone. Done for the day. Where do you want to meet?
Again, Davey’s answer was quick. RV is out. It’s already on the track.
Tyler’s hotel room was out as well. The entire team were staying right there and he couldn’t take the chance of running into any one from Supercross. Tyler bit his lip, remembering they weren’t meeting up for sex, just to talk. I need a quick shower. Meet you at the front of the Dome in 20? We’ll get dinner.
OK was the quick response.
Tyler never showered so quickly. Feeling a bit scruffy, he shaved, too. He picked out his only button-up shirt and a pair of cargo shorts. The team always wore a uniform, so he normally didn’t bring nice clothes, but he was glad he did this time. When he had packed, he didn’t know if Davey would want to go somewhere halfway decent or not. He even put on clean socks with his sneakers. He dabbed on a bit of Cool Water aftershave, liking the fresh minty and peppery tones it gave his skin and he hoped Davey would like it, too.
In just under twenty minutes, he pulled back up at the Dome. He looked around, but the lot was practically empty. He texted Davey to let him know he was there and waited.
He chewed on his thumb nail, attacking the cuticle. He didn’t know where they would go to eat, but his stomach growled and he couldn’t wait to see Davey. Finally, he showed, strolling out the front gates of the Dome and Tyler flashed the headlights. In a moment, Davey opened the door and slid into the seat.
The Holeshot Page 7