by Mia Ford
When we were done at the venue, we hopped in the back of the town car and sat back, both of us propping up our feet. We still had to go to Jordan’s parents’ house and talk about the rehearsal dinner over a late lunch, but for that moment, we were both sprawled out in the car. Lindsey looked stressed, and I hated that I couldn’t do more to help her. At least we both knew that in two weeks, this would all be done, and she would be enjoying being a new wife, jetting off to their honeymoon. Jordan had bought the honeymoon as a surprise, and it made me think about how Nathan loved to do things to surprise me. My heart still hurt every time I thought about him.
“You know I went to see Nathan,” Lindsey said, watching my face across the car.
“You did? What did he say?”
“He wouldn’t listen to me,” she said. “I got so angry and frustrated with him, I was pretty sure he almost threw me out. I left before it got to that point, though. I figured it wouldn’t look good on Jordan if his future wife assaulted his boss.”
“Oh, God,” I said. “He must have been pissed.”
“He is the most stubborn man I have ever met,” she said. “It was obvious that he was miserable without you. It looked like he hadn’t slept in years. He was shut in his office, his beard half grown out, and his tie halfway undone.”
“I would have thought he’d be partying by now,” I said with a pout. “You know how guys are when they go through a break up. They find the first girl they can screw and use it to get over the girl that broke their heart. I can’t believe that he won’t even listen to reason. He knows about Sarah. I told him what she did in the past.”
“Yeah, well, this thing has him so screwed up in his head that he can’t think straight,” she said. “He accused me of being in on some sort of scheme to steal his money. I was kind of offended since I have my own nice bank account, but I let it go, knowing he was just hurt. On top of that, the place smelled like booze, and I’m pretty sure that he was drunk.”
“Drunk? In the middle of the day at his office?”
“There was a big bottle of whiskey behind him on the bar, and he smelled like alcohol,” she said, shrugging. “Of course, it could have been a binger from the night before. Jordan told me that he has been drinking a lot. Apparently, he got into it with John in a pub one night, screaming at the whole bar before stumbling out to his car. He said that John hasn’t seen him out ever since then, but he still comes into work looking like hell and smelling like a frat boy every day, so they are assuming that he is drinking at home.”
“John should be there for him,” I said angrily. “If they think he is doing this to himself, then why doesn’t John stop him? He cared enough to ruin his relationship with me but not enough to stop him from ruining himself.”
I was really worried about Nathan. I knew that if he was drinking every day and looking like that in the office, then he was really struggling. He didn’t really have anyone he could talk to, and from the sound of it, he didn’t want to talk to his best friend, John. I tried not to be upset with John. He was coerced by that bitch, and he was only trying to protect his best friend. Still, he should be playing clean-up crew and getting Nathan back on his feet.
“Have you talked to Sarah?”
“Hell no,” Lindsey said. “That bitch can kiss my ass. We may be sisters, but that is not an obligation to play nice. I will treat her like any other crazy bitch that tries to pull some shit like what she did.”
“Do you think she will try to show up to the wedding, even though you told her not to?”
“She might try, but none of us will ever know about it,” she said. “I told my parents everything that she did, right after I punched her. I wanted them to know what happened before she got in there and told her little lies. We all know she was sick as a child, and that made my parents coddle the hell out of her, but it’s time she started facing the backlash for the things she does. My parents don’t want to talk to her either, so they hired security to stand out front and intercept her if she tries to come in.”
“Wow, that is intense,” I said with a smirk. “I’m sorry that she is doing all of these things. I know it must be hard on you and your parents. I know that I didn’t do anything to make her feel this way toward me, but I can’t help but feel slightly responsible for everything that is happening. I should have just left you out of the loop until after the wedding. Then, when you were back and relaxed, I could have told you.”
“Are you nuts?” she asked. “Then I would have been completely oblivious to the deviance of my sister. What if she tried to sleep with Jordan or something? I would end up killing her, and you know that I would never survive in prison. I would end up being someone’s pet and doing everyone’s makeup. Just thinking about eating instant mashed potatoes every day keeps me on the straight and narrow.”
“You are so dumb.” I laughed, feeling how good it felt to really laugh again. “Do you think that Nathan will come to the wedding?”
“I don’t know,” Lindsey said, shrugging her shoulders. “I did take the liberty of moving his seat away from yours, just in case. That way, you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, and he wouldn’t get drunk and say something mean to you.”
“Thanks.” I sighed. “I really wish it could be different. Even if he still hated me, I wish he wasn’t so angry at me. I didn’t do it, but in his mind, I am a lying, cheating gold digger. It breaks my heart into pieces to think that he thinks so poorly of me.”
“I know, sweetie,” Lindsey said, leaning forward. “But you have got to put that behind you. You have to take a step back and remember that you have something big going on in your life. All of this stress and anxiety is not good for you, or for that baby. I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe it’s time that you thought about moving on. We could make a new plan for you for the future and get you excited about being a mom—because I know I’m excited to be an aunt—and start refreshing your life a little.”
“Maybe when you get back from your honeymoon, we can sit down and do all of that,” I said with a smile.
“Good,” she replied, looking out as we pulled up to Jordan’s parents’ house. “You ready?”
“Sure,” I said with a smile.
After lunch, we finished up all the other little things we had to do and met Jordan for dinner. I sat there quietly, watching the two of them laugh and talk about their days. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be that happy and that in love. When dinner was over, they dropped me at my place, both of them giving me big hugs before I went inside. I dropped my bag inside the front door and dragged my tired body up the stairs. Quietly, I undressed, laying out my clothes for the next day’s events and crawling into bed. I pulled the covers up over me and laid my head on the pillow, allowing my body to fully relax. With that relaxation came the breaking of the dam, spilling tears out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I pulled my hands up to my face and sobbed, really letting out all of the pent-up heartbreak that I had kept inside through the whole day.
I was so upset, and I couldn’t even take a deep breath in to calm myself. The vision of Nathan torturing himself, drinking himself to the point of passing out, waking up and doing it all over again, haunted me. He was doing that because he thought I had done something terrible. I knew it wasn’t my fault, I knew that I was innocent, but it didn’t make it any easier on me. I felt guilty for making him feel that way, for not fighting harder to make him see the truth. Sarah had ruined everything in my life, and I felt like I was replaying events from the past all over again. I had something that was so wonderful and so exciting, and she ripped it right out of my hands. What she didn’t realize was that while she was getting the satisfaction of hurting me, she was hurting two other people in the background.
Nathan was distraught, unable to move past what had happened. She had completely ruined him and put all the blame on my shoulders. He would never get over this betrayal, and he would never have the joy of knowing his child. He would push the rest of us away for as long as we lived.
I was sure of it. My child, growing strong in my belly, would come into a world full of love, but missing its father, something I could never replace. She had destroyed three people’s lives, and she had no remorse for it.
My tears came faster and faster, and I sat up in bed trying to catch my breath. The hormones from my pregnancy were not making any of this any easier on me. I knew they were driving the stake even farther into my heart. Lindsey was right, though. I needed to find peace in my own life. I needed to stay calm and to move past all of this because I was now responsible for another human being’s life. It was not good for me to get that upset about anything, and I knew that it was causing the baby all kinds of stress.
I reached over and grabbed the water off the night stand and took a sip, my breath shuddering in my throat. I swallowed hard and leaned back against the headboard, closing my eyes. There was nothing I could do about what was happening, and I needed to get it together if I ever wanted to feel normal again.
Chapter 20
Nathan
My feet lifted up off the floor, and I propped them on the chair in front of me. I sat back and took a long sip of my beer, fiddling with the shot glass I had just emptied. I was at the Regency Hyatt with John, Jordan, and a few other guys from work, having a work bachelor party for Jordan. The guys were having a hell of a time, and no one was bothering me, which was a good thing. Sure, I was trying to do something nice for Jordan and show him there were no hard feelings about his soon-to-be wife barging into my office, but I also had a hidden agenda. It was an excuse for me to drink, not that I needed an excuse these days, but at least I didn’t feel guilty doing it in a room full of drunk guys having a whole lot of fun. I never understood bachelor parties. They were an excuse to do stuff that you could do anytime, but you just felt self-conscious about it.
This party, though, was getting pretty wild. I had made sure to book the penthouse so that none of the other guests were bothered. I also wanted to make sure none of the guys got loose, completely wasted, into the general public. From the thumping of the music and the fact that two of the guys had their ties around their heads with no shirts on, I had made a really good choice. I had the thing catered and bought more alcohol than we could drink during five of those parties. The guys had been so excited, they barely got any work done at the office during the day.
“Hey there, cutie,” one of the strippers said, walking over to me. “Why don’t you join the party?”
“I’m not interested, sweetheart, but those guys are the ones I am paying you to entertain,” I said, sipping my beer.
I had hired a half-dozen strippers to run around without clothes on and play with the guys. Jordan was being good, which made me think there was still a decent guy left on the planet. I had zero interest in girls I could find any given night at the local bar. I was just happy to sit back and drink, feeling no better than before, but at least I wasn’t alone. I had splurged on a vintage bottle of my favorite whiskey, and I discovered that a comfy place to sit, a bucket of ice, and my bottle of whisky was all that I needed in the world. John knew it was hard for me, sitting there celebrating someone else’s happiness, but he also knew not to push me. He was just glad that I was out with them, showing my pale skin some different kind of lighting other than from my living room.
I nodded as John looked over at me, putting down the can of whipped cream he was taunting the strippers with and heading over to me. I poured him a shot of my whiskey and handed it to him. He took a sip and closed his eyes, savoring the taste.
“You went all out.” He chuckled. “This is some really good stuff.”
“I know, right?”
“So, uh, where have you been lately?” he asked. “We’ve all been worried about you. What’s been up with you lately?”
I watched the girls dance around Jordan, laughing at his face. I took a sip of my whiskey and contemplated how to answer that question. I didn’t need another lecture from him, but I felt like I couldn’t get away from it. I turned and looked at him, realizing he was staring at me and waiting for an answer.
“I think you know the answer to that, John,” I said with a fake smile.
“Are you serious? You’re still tore up over that girl? We really thought something had happened to your folks or something.”
“Nah, they are fine,” I said. “I really felt a connection with Amanda. It’s not something that can be just turned off. It doesn’t matter how many bottles of whiskey I drink or how many women I fuck, not that I have fucked any, but still, it doesn’t matter. She is still right there on my mind. I wish you had experienced something like that at some point so that you could understand where I was coming from.”
We both looked up as the girls cheered and giggled. Jordan had finally given in, standing up on the chair and letting the girls dance all over him. I laughed and lifted my glass to him, watching him shake his head and roll his eyes.
“He’s a good guy,” I said. “And he has a really good girl, too.”
“Lindsey?”
“Yeah,” I said, looking over at him.
“She is a good girl,” he said. “I actually have hooked up with her sister Sarah a few times. She is a wild one. She’s the whole reason I ever found out about Amanda in the first place. She had some really nasty things to say about her. That’s when I knew you would be better off without her.”
“Wait, you slept with Sarah?”
“Yeah, she’s a sweetie, really wanted to look out for you because you’re my best friend,” he said. “I’ll have to introduce you sometime.”
“Don’t bother, I’ve unfortunately had the pleasure of meeting her,” I said, standing up and grabbing my coat.
“What does that mean?”
“You don’t know that girl at all,” I said, pointing at him. “Trust me. She is not what she seems. Man, I knew I should have questioned you on where you got that information from. I am such a damn idiot.”
“Trouble or not, she did give me that marriage document,” he said, shrugging.
I turned away from him, finishing my drink, a sick feeling settling in my stomach. This whole big story about the lies of Amanda was all circling around back to Sarah. I couldn’t believe what he just told me. I could have sworn that Lindsey didn’t know what she was talking about. I had kicked Amanda, the woman of my dreams, out of my life, and it could possibly have all been for nothing. She could have been the victim of this girl’s twisted plans, and I made it worse by not believing her.
“Hey, where are you going?” John asked.
“I’ve had enough of this party,” I said. “The keys are on the counter. The room is booked through tomorrow in case you guys stay. Make sure nothing gets broken.”
I turned and walked towards the door, sneaking past the guys and closing it behind me. The silence of the hall was relaxing, and I stood there for a second, searching for my phone. I wanted to call Amanda, to find out if everything that Lindsey said was the truth, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and climbed in the elevator. Everything was pointing to Sarah, no matter which way I turned, but I was still unsure who to believe. I did have that document, but Lindsey was right. It totally looked forged when I scrutinized it. My brain tried to play those coincidences off, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I had been played somehow.
I got out of the elevator and headed to one of the cars waiting outside. I thought about it all the way home, realizing that I was drunker than I thought. Maybe it was a good thing I didn’t call her. I wouldn’t sound very convincing slurring my words. When I got home, I dropped my stuff inside the door and went to the bedroom. I undressed and turned on the shower, needing to wash the stench of cigars and hookers off my clothes.
My thoughts drifted from the naked strippers quickly over to Amanda and how hot her body was. She was real, down to the tiny, star-shaped birthmark on her lower back. The sex we had was out of this world. I let the hot water roll over my tense muscles as I leaned forward and cl
osed my eyes.
In my mind, I was in the bed with Amanda, running my fingers down her back, feeling her soft skin on my fingertips. I rolled my hand down to my cock and grabbed on tightly to my erection, already hard from picturing Amanda there with me. I went back to the bedroom in my mind, bringing Amanda’s body back into view.
She looked up from the bed at me, swiping her hand down my stomach and grabbing onto my cock. I smiled down at her and sat back on my heels, letting her jerk my cock for a moment. Her tiny, little hand pulsated against my shaft as she pulled it up and down, biting her bottom lip. She leaned forward and ran her lips over the tip, smiling up at me before opening her mouth and sinking her warm lips down the shaft, all the way to the base. I groaned loudly, feeling her suck hard as she started to bob her head up and down. I pulled my hand up and pushed lightly on her head, holding her down for a moment before watching her slide back up again. She looked up at me with watery eyes, and I snapped, needing to feel her pussy wrapped around my cock.
I grabbed her face and lifted her head up before pushing her down on the bed. She giggled as she bounced up and down on the mattress, her perfect tits jiggling all over the place. I imagined myself crawling toward her as she spread her legs apart, revealing her beautiful, pink pussy. I ran my fingers down her stomach and pushed two of them inside of her, watching her suck on her bottom lip and groan in pleasure. I fingered her hard and fast right there, wanting to get her in the mood, wanting her pussy to be nice and wet when I fucked the hell out of her. When I had gotten her to the point where she was begging me for my cock, I pulled my fingers out and stuck them in her mouth, feeling her lick her juices from my hand.