Maggie wanted to give her a huge bear hug. Nikka’s teeth started chattering, and still she was in the cooler, listening to her.
“Lea can’t be involved. Since she has power of attorney, it would be unethical.” Nikka tapped her fingers against her lips. “Maybe it’s just Vivienne and a misguided sense of loyalty. You should see the way she looks at Lea.”
“Maybe.” But Maggie believed with every fiber of her being that Lea was the mastermind here.
Stop talking. This is going well. Let her come the rest of the way on her own.
The silence dragged out between them—just a second longer than Maggie was comfortable with.
“Let’s go out there,” Maggie said, unable to take her own good advice. “Just you and me. We can force our way in, if we have to, and talk to Beth and see for ourselves if she’s in her right mind. See if she wants this or not. She clearly doesn’t want the pills.”
Nikka’s eyes narrowed, and she quickly dropped her gaze to her feet.
Dammit. Maggie curled her fist at her waist. She’d had her. She had totally had her, and she was too stupid to stop.
“No, I’ve got to meet Lea, and you can’t be within a hundred feet of Beth. You do know that, right?”
Maggie nodded.
When Nikka finally raised her head, she wouldn’t meet her gaze. Maggie had seen that look—of pity rolled into concern—a million times before.
“We can’t go charging out there,” Nikka said. “That would be suicide for both us.” She stared at the carrots on the shelf. “Tomorrow I’m going to be out there anyway. Maybe I can get Walker alone and ask her what she wants.”
“That could be too late.” Maggie couldn’t help herself. She had to try one more time.
“For what?” Nikka asked.
“To save her.”
“Only fools rush in.”
“Or maybe only fools wait until it’s too late to really make a difference.”
Maggie stared deep into her eyes and willed her to come over to the light side.
Nikka’s jaw was set. She wasn’t ready to jump. In her own quiet way, Nikka was just as stubborn as she was. Maggie liked that, but they were at a stalemate. The conversation that had begun with such promise was effectively over.
Maggie swung the door open, and the heat from the bakery ovens swept over them.
“Wow, it’s really cold in there.” Nikka rubbed her hands together. Her voice, now light and breezy, gave nothing away about how she was feeling.
“They call it a cooler. But it’s really a refrigerator.”
“Thanks for listening to me.” Nikka headed for the door. “I’ll let you know what I find out.”
“That would be great.”
Nikka slid out the door without another word or even looking back.
“Who was that?” Lauren was at the kitchen door, leaning against its frame.
How long had she been there?
“The lawyer who served me the restraining order yesterday.”
“I thought that was Harlan.”
“She was behind it.”
“So. What did she want?”
“To look in a mirror, I think.”
“What?”
“She came out to run something by me, but really I think she came out here to see what it would look like if she went around the bend. If she acted on instinct and not on facts.”
“Well, then, she came to the right place.” Lauren came over and gave her a friendly pat on the back.
Maggie didn’t feel like joking. “Yep, and she didn’t like what she saw.”
They both continued to stare at the closed door.
“She’s very pretty.” Lauren handed Maggie the peeler and pushed her gently back to her workstation.
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Maggie grabbed the fruit at the end, and another burst of fresh lemon filled the air.
CHAPTER 8
May 1960
“So, Miss Walker. How does it feel to be done with your first novel?” Dawn grabbed a celery stick from the picnic basket and thrust it out like a microphone.
“Amazing. Terrifying. Miraculous. There aren’t even enough words.”
“Well, you better get a handle on it, because next we need to get it to a publisher and on the bookshelves.”
“Like it would be that easy. Have you forgotten what it’s about? It’s not exactly a best-seller in the making. Like Auntie Mame or anything.”
Dawn swung the celery back under her own mouth. “There’s where you’re wrong, Miss Walker. Heartwood is just as good as any book on the best-seller list, maybe better. It’s fun to read and raises real social issues that will resonate with a lot of people for a long time.”
“You’re kidding, right? It’s about two women taking on the male establishment at a lumberyard, all with some pretty strong undertones, if you know what I mean.” What was wrong with her? She couldn’t even say that part out loud. What had she been thinking—to have spent months writing something that would never see the light of day? “No one’s going to get on board with it.” She looked at Dawn. Suddenly, she was talking about more than just the book.
“I know some people who know some people.” Dawn tossed the celery stick into the nearby brush. “When you’re ready to send it out, you let me know, and then we’ll see who’s right.”
Beth shook her head at Dawn, who didn’t even wait for her answer before she leaned back on the blanket and clearly moved on to other thoughts. She took her weight off her swollen belly by resting on her elbows and raised her face to the afternoon sun.
Beth ran her hand down the turquoise stripe of the Mexican blanket they were sitting on. Where did Dawn find this? Or the picnic basket? She was always full of surprises like organizing this celebration right under her nose.
It should be so romantic—just the two of them, sitting at her favorite beach, just far enough from town that they wouldn’t have to share it with anyone. But there were a dozen stripes between them. They weren’t even sharing the blanket with each other.
“Is that the Tall Tree?” Dawn pointed to a splash of green towering over the forest rooftop in the distance.
“Yep.” She marveled how Dawn could flit from one subject to another in a heartbeat.
“How old is it supposed to be?”
“I don’t know.” She spread out a wrinkle in the red stripe. “Two thousand years, I guess?”
“As old as the Pantheon, more or less.” Dawn craned her neck as if that would give her a better view of the tree on the horizon. “Jimmy told me when he had a break last week, he visited the Pantheon. I’d like to go to Rome someday. Would you?”
Irritation bubbled up in her the second Dawn mentioned Jimmy’s name. She got up off the blanket and stepped into the edge of the stream. Freezing-cold water rushed around her bare feet, sending a shiver up her body. “Like that’s ever going to happen. I’ll never get out of Steelhead.”
Silence hung between them for a moment, and then Dawn said, “What’s wrong? You should be happy. You’ve finished your book, we’re on an amazing picnic, and it’s a wonderful day.”
Beth longed to turn around to see Dawn’s expression, but as childish as it was, she kept her back to her. She had had enough of Dawn’s games and the passionate kisses that led nowhere. The book was just another one of Dawn’s amusements. She had worked Beth up into a frenzy of excitement over it, and now what? Even if she did agree to send it out, no one was going to publish it. She didn’t have a shot.
“Come over here.”
Beth shook her head. A painful tingling ran through her numb feet. She was going to have to move sooner than later.
“Don’t be like that. Please come here.”
“What’s the point?”
Again the silence stretched out.
Beth pressed her mouth closed and pushed her focus to her feet. She couldn’t feel them at all.
“Do you really think you’re ready?” Dawn jumped into her thoughts.
Beth said nothing.
“You know that once we go down that path, it changes everything. We can’t come back. I know you think I’ve been leading you on, teasing you, but I’ve been holding back only because I’m worried that you don’t know what you’re getting into, and I’m scared too. The world does not like people like us.”
Finally! They were talking about them—their relationship or whatever the Sam Hill it was. She swiveled out of the river to face Dawn, who lay on her side with her head resting on a crooked arm.
Beth met her gaze evenly. “Don’t you get it? I’m already in so deep, I don’t know which way is up.” The calmness of her voice surprised her.
“I do get it. But this is so much more than us or that moment you’re longing for. You’ve no idea how this can play out on the larger stage. You’re so young.”
“I’m not a child.” She realized a second too late that was exactly what a child would have said.
“No, I know that.” Dawn licked her lips and then sighed deeply. “I meant to say inexperienced although I’m not sure you’ll think that’s any better. It’s just that these things never have a way of staying private once you cross that line, and no one’s happy about two women being together. Believe me.” Her gaze traveled down Beth’s body to flowing water and stayed there. “Are you really ready for that—all of it?”
“From the moment I saw you at Hank’s!” All her pent up frustration flowed out in her voice.
Dawn’s attention jerked back to her face.
“No, before that. All my life, probably. I just didn’t know it until now.”
“You’re sure? It’s a high price to pay.”
Beth’s breath caught in her throat. Was this it? What she had been dreaming about for months. How high could the price be? They could manage it all as long as they had each other. She nodded, unable to speak.
“Okay, then.” Dawn patted the blanket with her free hand. “Come here.” This time her voice was low and throaty.
Those two words ignited a heat below Beth’s belly, slowly sweeping through her. She stumbled clumsily on her numb feet across the bank to finally fall on the blanket right next to Dawn. Shy now that the moment was actually here, she searched the cool, green eyes, not knowing what to do next. Dawn had always been the one to make the first move. Why was she just lying there, giving nothing away?
She should just come clean. Knowing Dawn, she probably had already guessed anyway. “I’ve never done this before.”
“It’s not hard. Don’t worry. Do what feels good.”
Beth reached out with shaking fingers to push a loose curl behind Dawn’s ear. She took a deep breath and then traced a line down Dawn’s chin and into the opening of her blouse. The heat, the softness of her skin, the swell of her breasts were almost too much for Beth. Her hand stilled, unsure. And then she felt Dawn’s heart pounding hard in her chest. Unbelievably, Dawn must want this too.
With almost a mind of their own, her hands unbuttoned the blouse, and she pulled it eagerly off Dawn’s shoulders. Her gaze dipped down to Dawn’s breasts, so full and beautiful they made her heart skip a beat. After all these months of sneaking furtive looks when she thought Dawn wasn’t paying attention, staring straight at them was heady and so exciting.
Beth slid her hand around Dawn’s back to find the hook, and with a lucky tug, the bra swung off and landed near the blouse.
Free from her clothes, Dawn rolled over and arched her back.
So much better than she had imagined. Beth reached out to cup what was finally right there for her taking. The warm flesh filled her whole hand, and she was surprised how heavy they were. Suddenly, she remembered Dawn’s condition and pulled back as if she’d been burned. “Are you sure this is okay?”
“Oh yes. I need this. Just be gentle. I’m very sensitive right now.”
Beth returned her hand and caressed her breast with featherlight touches, exploring its curves and smoothness as she built up her confidence. Almost by accident, she brushed a thumb over Dawn’s nipple, which hardened instantly at the touch.
Dawn gasped, and Beth’s breath caught in her throat. Encouraged, she squeezed ever so slightly and was rewarded with a soft moan. Electricity sparked through her. She had never heard anything so wonderful until…
“Kiss me.”
Beth dipped her head to Dawn’s mouth, but Dawn thrust her chest out instead. Son of a gun. She wasn’t talking about her mouth. As she brushed her lips down her neck, Dawn’s scent enveloped her. She smelled like the summer afternoon and her own heady smell. Beth couldn’t get enough and buried her head in Dawn’s chest for several heartbeats before running a trail of kisses lower. When her lips brushed the swell of her breast, she hesitated.
Dawn slid a hand up Beth’s side.
Encouraged, Beth skimmed over to her nipple and lightly took the hard nub between her lips.
Another low moan, and Dawn arched upward again, this time thrusting her breast deep into Beth’s mouth.
Instinct took over. Beth sucked harder, flicked her tongue back and forth, and then brazenly nibbled with her teeth—all the while slowly increasing the intensity.
Dawn slid her fingers into her hair and squeezed. “Oh yes. That’s good. Touch me lower.” She leaned back on the blanket.
Beth took in the swollen stomach and the long legs stretched out and open on the blanket. “I won’t hurt the baby, will I?” Usually, the baby was just an abstract idea in her mind, but now it seemed far too real.
“No. But you’re going to hurt me if you don’t get to it.” Her laugh was low and sexy. It was intoxicating.
Beth eagerly moved closer and ran a hand up Dawn’s leg to the edge of her skirt. Her fingers slid under the cotton hem and up to panties that were already moist to the touch.
“Pull them down,” Dawn said even before Beth formed the question in her head.
Her fingers brushed her sex as she did, and Dawn moaned at even that slightest touch. It emboldened Beth to go further, and she hiked the skirt up around Dawn’s hips so she could see what she was stroking. Beth drew a sharp breath. Dawn was beautiful everywhere, and when she spread her legs for Beth, she felt her world open up.
Dawn was hot and wet and swollen.
“Just touch me here.” She drew Beth’s hand to the top of her sex. “I’m so sensitive right now, I think it is all I can take.”
Beth slid her fingers into Dawn’s slickness and touched her slowly at first.
Dawn raised her hips, pushing into Beth’s hand, and together, they found a rhythm that seemed to grow and intensify as they moved as one.
“Oh, Beth.” Her name floated on Dawn’s lips. She clenched her legs around Beth’s hand as her whole body began to shake. Dawn moaned deeply, and her body shuddered in one surge after another.
“Wow!” The last tremble faded from her body, and her hips sank back to the blanket. “Your fingers can sure do a lot more than write.”
Beth sat back on her haunches.
Dawn pulled the skirt down but otherwise hadn’t moved.
Was it over? It had been better than her wildest dreams, but unspoken needs still swirled in her. She closed her eyes as she tried to push back the mounting tension between her legs.
“Don’t worry. We’re not close to being done.”
Beth opened her eyes to stare into Dawn’s—the green irises swirled with passion and desire. Their lips met, and she had no thoughts except how good it felt, how full her lips were, and how much passion simmered in the kiss.
Suddenly, Beth’s blouse and bra slipped off her shoulders. She didn’t have any recollection of Dawn pulling at the buttons or the hook in the back, her focus was so keyed on the gorgeous woman in front of her, but with Dawn’s hands seeking her breasts she couldn’t deny the fact that she was half-naked.
There was nothing tentative about the way Dawn touched her. She cupped one breast with her entire palm and rolled the other between her thumb and forefinger until all feeling rushed to Beth’s chest, where e
verything was hard and erect. Beth groaned with more pleasure than she had ever known. And then Dawn took her into her mouth. She had to slide around Beth’s body so the baby bump didn’t get in the way, but since her mouth was the only contact point, all sensations intensified. A deep trembling began inside her.
“Lie back.”
She did as she was told, and when Dawn fluttered kisses down her stomach, the quivering roared into an ache.
“I know you’ve never been with a woman.” Hot breath sailed over Beth’s stomach. “Have you been with a man?”
“No.” The answer was little more than a ragged breath.
Dawn skimmed a finger up her thigh. “Have you ever pleasured yourself?” She traced slow circles around Beth’s sex.
“Yes,” she breathed. “But it was nothing like this.” She tingled with anticipation.
“Well, I hope not.” Dawn’s fingers dipped and finally cupped her sex.
Her touch sent the ache rushing through Beth’s body, and she reeled up, seeking even more contact.
Dawn rocked back and forth, hitting her in places that she had never reached herself. When Beth thought she couldn’t take it anymore, Dawn slid her fingers inside and then plunged them deep into her.
Beth cried out with a pleasure she had never known as their lovemaking filled her completely. For the first time in her life, there was no longing, no feeling that she didn’t belong. Just her and Dawn and this incredible feeling that raced everywhere.
Her release caught her by surprise, cascading through her with a surge so strong that it drove everything else from her mind. Dawn’s snuggling into her side barely registered. She held her close as the last of the shivers subsided.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Dawn’s voice floated to her from far away. All she could hear was the echoes of her orgasm still roaring in her ears and the love overflowing from her heart. No one had told her it was going to be like this.
Whatever the price, she was willing to pay it.
“Pop. Can I talk to you?” Her father had just stepped through the front door from a day at the lumberyard. He had that haggard look after a tough day, and Beth knew she should wait until at least after his first drink, but the excitement of how the day might end wouldn’t let her.
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