by Barbara Bard
“Ye ken, my cousins are good people,” he began.
Alastar nodded. “My Da spoke highly of their Da,” he said.
“And if they dinnae think it is a good idea ye ken trust their judgment,” Declan continued. “Listen tae their counsel. If they think ye should stay here and fight, maybe ye should.”
Before Alastar could respond, the doors opened, and the women came back in. Alastar glanced at Rebecca, who wore a strange expression. Declan had given him much to think about, but all he wanted to think about was stopping Lord Flynn.
Catherine and Rebecca came to stand by Declan and Alastar, while the other two returned to Blair and Drew. Declan wrapped his arms around Catherine's waist, and kissed her on the stomach. Rebecca placed her hand on the back of Alastar's chair. Their romance was still new. It hadn't settled yet like the love shared between the other three couples in the room.
Alastar watched Rosemary whisper into Blair's ear. A grin spread over his face.
“Alastar,” he said, his voice booming around the feasting hall. Alastar rose and approached him. “I would like tae make ye an offer. Ye are without a clan, but ye are an honorable man, and ye hae suffered greatly. I would like ye tae consider being a part of the McCall clan. Join with us, let us treat ye as a brother. Ye can stay here, and ye dinnae need tae live a life alone.”
Alastar pursed his lips, and glared at Rebecca, knowing that this was her doing.
“I thank ye for ye offer, but as I told ye before the Blue Thistle fights alone. Ye clan is mighty, but I am proud tae be the Blue Thistle, and I would ask that ye respect that,” he said, then spun on his heels and marched out of the room, his heart burning with ire that Rebecca would try and press him in such a matter.
Chapter 30
The expression on Rebecca's face turned from pride to horror as she watched Alastar refuse Blair's invitation. She had been so proud of herself when she first came up with the idea. It seemed to her that Alastar had been feeling lonely, and that being a part of a clan would restore his honor. Rosemary had been all too happy to help, but when she heard Alastar refuse her heart sank, and she felt like a fool.
“He will see sense,” Catherine said, trying to reassure her, but Rebecca didn't feel as though anything could reassure her. Rebecca tore herself away from Catherine's touch and ran after Alastar, her soft footsteps pattering after him on the cold stone floor.
Alastar walked away towards the entrance of the castle, looking to go out in the cold night air. Rebecca called after him. He turned.
“Come with me. Let us stay inside. We have spent too many nights under the stars recently. I long to lie on a proper bed,” she said. For a moment she thought he would ignore her and leave, but at the last moment he turned and followed her upstairs. There was so much Rebecca was unsure about, so much she wanted to say, but she wanted to wait until they were alone before she opened her heart to him.
He led the way, until he reached a point where he didn't know where to go. Rebecca moved in front of him and led the way up the stairs to the guest quarters that Rosemary had arranged for her. They were actually nicer and larger than the room she had been used to while living on the Flynn estate, although the air was colder here.
Alastar shut the heavy wooden door behind him.
“I arranged with Rosemary for you to have your own room, if you would prefer,” Rebecca said, folding her arms. She cast her gaze away from Alastar, fearing that he was angry with her. He didn't say anything in response to that, but he walked across the room and took off his outer shirt and unclasped his sword belt, putting them both on a chest. He unlaced his boots, and once he was done he finally turned to her.
“Why did ye dae that?” he asked.
“Was it really so bad?”
“If ye are asking that, then maybe ye dinnae ken me as well as ye think.”
“Then perhaps you should tell me,” she said, trying to stop her voice from trembling. Rebecca hated confrontation, especially with someone she had strong feelings for.
“I am the Blue Thistle Rebecca. I cannae change that. My life is best lived alone, just like my father before me.”
“But you are not your father Alastar. You do not have to repeat his life, and you do not have to sentence yourself to loneliness just to live up to his ideal. Sometimes I do not understand you,” she said, her frustrations boiling over.
“What dae ye mean?”
“You have missed out on so much life because of Lord Flynn. You want to kill him, I understand that, but you have spent so much time focusing on killing him that you cannot see a future for yourself afterwards. Do you think you'll be happy roaming the land until you die of old age somewhere? That is not the life of a hero. That is the life of a bitter old man who didn't know how to open his heart. That was a lovely gesture from Blair. I know how important family is to you, and I thought that it would help you feel like you're at home here. I wanted you to feel like you had a future, a future with me.”
“And why would ye want a future with me? Can ye nae see that I cannae offer ye what a man should? I hae nae castle. I hae nae family!”
“Have I ever once asked you for that? You seem to have imagined some conversations between us. I have asked you for none of those things. They are not important to me. What I want is you Alastar. All the confusing, frustrating mess of you. I would be happy living alone with you in the woods, or in this castle, or on an island anywhere else. I do not care where we live, as long as we live together. But you would seek to send me away for my own good.
“I thought that if you were a part of this clan it might make you feel better about keeping me around. I could stay here while you went off adventuring, and you wouldn't have to worry about me being safe. You would have a home to return to, and if anything went wrong you would have allies who would defend you and rescue you if need be.
“You seem to think that your loneliness gives you strength. I'm here to tell you that it doesn't. It's a weakness Alastar, one that you have suffered from for far too long, and one which you don't have to suffer from any longer.”
She said this all without hardly taking a breath, so at the end she inhaled a deep lungful of air.
“Ye mean ye would nae stop me from being the Blue Thistle?” he asked.
Rebecca was dumbfounded.
“Why would I want to do that? It is important to you. It is the way you're respecting your father.”
“Aye, but I thought...”
“There you go again,” she said, this time a little more relaxed, moving towards him. “Thinking again, rather than asking me how I feel. Is that why you thought there was no future for us?”
“Aye, I thought we would both hae tae give up something we wanted.”
“You thought I was going to be your mother,” Rebecca said. It was a passing thought to which she gave voice, and it was amazing how much it made sense after everything he had told her, although she hadn't thought of it before. Alastar turned away, ashamed.
“I should nae think that,” he said.
“It's nothing to be ashamed of.”
“My father loved my mother, but she gave him an impossible choice. He had tae give up being the Blue Thistle, and I dinnae want tae dae that. I can understand why he did it, but the fact that she would ask...did she nae know how much it meant tae him?”
“I'm sure she did Alastar. Unfortunately, we can't go back and ask them, but we can make decisions for ourselves. Our futures don't have to be defined by the people who raised us. We get to make our own choices; we get to choose the direction of our own life. I know you are a hero, and it wouldn't do you any good to live a quiet life. You have been imprisoned. It is time for you to fly. What I'm trying to show you is that you do not need to do so alone.”
Alastar nodded, understanding coming over his face.
“I will think about it,” he said.
Rebecca smiled and placed her hand against his cheek, her palm resting against the rough stubble. She kissed his lips lightly and let he
r breath brush against his before retreating to the bed. Alastar looked at her for a moment before he followed her path and knelt before her in supplication.
Rebecca took his head in her hands and stroked it affectionately.
“What future do you see for yourself Alastar?”
“I cannae see anything past Lord Flynn.”
“You expect me to believe that through all those lonely nights you only ever thought of Lord Flynn? Surely your mind must have turned to things after that. To a life beyond hatred and vengeance. Even as a child you must have had dreams?”
“All I ever wanted was tae be like my father,” he said.
“Then think about it now,” she said, tilting his head up so that their eyes met. Breath caught in her throat as she lost herself in the deep pools of his eyes. There was so much pain and torment in them, yet so much love as well. For all the suffering he had endured, he had not been stripped of his humanity, of his capacity to love. She wanted to nurture that flame and see it rise as high as the most dramatic pyre.
“I want ye,” he said, sounding drunk.
“What else?”
“I want ye tae be happy. I want tae make up for lost time. I want tae have children, and teach them all about my Da. I want them tae be as proud of me as I am of him. I want tae hae a clan of my own,” he said.
Rebecca smiled and kissed him deeply.
“I want that too,” she breathed.
Alastar smiled widely and let his hands slide around her waist. He fought against her clothes, struggling to get to the skin underneath. Rebecca smiled as she felt his breath come upon her. They had delivered their message now, and finally they were alone again, and could be one with each other again. Her body had been burning for this ever since their last union had ended, although she hoped that this time it wouldn't end with him asking her to be apart from him.
Rebecca lifted her arms and let him undress her. She let her head fall back, and felt her long hair brushed against her shoulder blades. Alastar's strong hands curled around the middle of her body and pulled at her clothes, while he pressed his mouth against her exposed skin. Her heart pounded in her chest as he found the hollow of her neck, and the heat that emanated from his body was so intense it almost alarmed her.
She ran her fingers through his hair and occasionally brought his head up, kissing him deeply and lovingly, wanting to feel his body next to hers again. Nothing had compared to the desire she felt when she was with him, and for all the worries of the war, they vanished from her mind and were replaced by the striking passion, of lust and love mingling together.
She ran her hands down his back as his mouth moved down her body, kissing her breasts, catching her nipples in his mouth. Pinpricks of pleasure danced upon her body as his hands were all over her, feeling her, groping her, caressing her. They fell to her thigh and she felt them spread open. His body was heavy against hers. In one gesture he pushed her to the bed and buried himself in her most intimate area.
She gasped at the ardor of the man, but the pleasure that ran through her veins was not going to make her ask him to stop. She felt him kiss the burning insides of her thighs, then his breath moved closer towards the aching sensation. She needed him. She wanted him. Her entire body tensed as he waited, waited, and then finally gorged himself on her. She fell against the bed, her arms splayed out beside her, utterly helpless as the intense sensations rushed through her body.
She looked down to see him so intimately connected with her. Before he had done this, she hadn't thought such a thing was possible, yet here she was, and she wondered if any of the other women had felt pleasure this intense.
The room was filled with her ardent moans and sweat soon streamed down her temples. She reached down and grabbed his head, holding him in place, her face contorting with every anguished moan.
Alastar looked up and grinned at her. He was covered in her wetness, and he seemed to find her delicious. His hands held her thighs tight and although her body convulsed, she was unable to move. The strength of the Highlander was such that he had her pinned to the bed, yet she knew she was utterly safe with him. Rebecca would trust him with her life.
She could feel Alastar's tongue whirling and dancing inside her. Her eyes fluttered shut as the pleasure almost became too much to bear and it was like a lance shooting through her body. She was seized by ecstatic delight and a shuddering, rumbling force thundered through her body. Her thighs broke free of Alastar's grasp and her body was flung to the side, trapping his head in between her thighs.
It took her more than a few moments to realize what she had done. Alastar was tapping against her legs for her to free him. When she opened her legs, he gasped for air and climbed up the bed.
“Are ye trying tae kill me, lass?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with a mischievous glint.
“It would be quite a way to go,” Rebecca said, pulling him in for a deep kiss. Alastar rolled on top of her, his heavy weight pressing her down onto the bed. She ran her fingers across his sinewy muscles and enjoyed the feeling of his dark, thick body hair against her skin. She reached down and murmured with delight as she felt his arousal, which was just like the rest of him, big and strong and thick.
Alastar adjusted his body as he kissed her, not wanting to interrupt the flow of love between them. Rebecca shifted her body as well, curling her arms around him, holding him as tight as possible. He was so strong and mighty, and it made her feel so aroused to think of him taking her, of being her protector, her hero. She would give him everything he wanted as long as it made him happy, and in return all she asked was that he give her more pleasure than any other woman ever had.
So far, he was delivering on that promise.
In mere moments she felt him enter her and their bodies became one. Her mouth formed an 'o', and she pressed herself into his warmth, drowning in his manly scent as she tried not to scream with agony. She wondered if the pain was ever something she would get used to, but the pleasure was enough to outweigh it.
Alastar held himself still for a few moments as the two of them enjoyed the feeling of being one heart, one mind, one breath. Then he began to move his body, and he might as well have been moving mountains for the earth seemed to shudder underneath her. Rebecca's eyes closed in sweet bliss as waves of pleasure rocked through her body.
Rebecca clung to him tightly as he moved back and forth, his strength causing the entire bed to creak. They kissed each other hard and whispered vows of love to each other. Rebecca felt the dip of his back as it arched with heaving effort, and she squeezed his taut muscles as they grew tense. She enjoyed feeling short, sharp breaths rattle against her skin, and replied with gasps of her own. Her eyes clamped shut, and her nails dug into his thick skin.
Her soul seemed to drift about her mind as she lost herself into him. He was a part of her, and she was a part of him. There was no separating them. Their souls were bound together on the ethereal plane and she felt utterly complete.
A smile broke upon her face as she gave herself completely to him. The rumbling grunts made her heart thump. The rising tension brought with it bliss, and she never wanted him to let her go. Laying underneath him, she was enveloped in his masculine warmth, cocooned in the bed of desire and passion. His body and hers moved in a harmonious rhythm and she soon felt the crying, cracking need to release all the tension that coiled within her. Each one was stronger than the last. Each time they were together she was given more pleasure.
A long, languorous moan slipped out of her wide, open mouth as her body clenched, then relaxed, soaking into the sheets. A moment later, Alastar shuddered too. His grip upon her tightened and he buried his head into her neck. She felt as though she was going to be crushed. Then his body relaxed too.
He pulled himself off her and slipped by her side. She adjusted her position to drape her arm across his broad chest and rest her head upon his torso. She sighed with contentment. Alastar kissed her hair and stroked her waist.
These were the moments she enjoyed t
he most, just the two of them together, sharing warmth and intimacy without any thought to the war that was coming.
“That was wonderful,” Rebecca whispered.
“Aye,” Alastar said. His eyes were closed, and he looked as though he was ready for sleep.
“I want to spend the rest of my days doing this with you,” she said. Alastar cocked his eyebrow up and looked down at her, then he smiled.
“That is a future I would be happy tae see come true,” he said, and squeezed her affectionately.
“Will you reconsider Blair's invitation? I know that you have lived your life a certain way, but that doesn't mean it's the only way. And...and it is my life too. And I would prefer to stay here where we could have friends.”
Alastar tensed a little, and Rebecca was afraid that they were going to erupt in an argument again. However, Alastar let out his breath in one long exhalation and spoke calmly.