by Cari Z
Except he didn’t have that, at the moment, which was why he was on the road with Tyler instead of walking into the office in half an hour. Aaron groaned, pushed out from under the unfamiliar comforter—it smelled like lavender, which he might never want to smell again—and headed for the kitchen.
Tyler was already there, laptop open, face intent as he worked on God knew what. He was in his flannel pj’s, so no meeting, but he had a large cup of coffee on the counter next to him. The pot, set up to the side of the refrigerator, was still halfway full.
He glanced up as Aaron entered the room and smiled. “Hey. Sleep well?”
“Meh.” Aaron shuffled for the counter and found a cup waiting for him. Nice. “That lavender smell made me feel like I was sleeping in a perfume factory.”
“Mine was rosewater.”
Aaron paused with the pot halfway lifted. “What the hell is rosewater?”
“Probably just what it sounds like, but that’s not what it smelled like. It was….” He wrinkled his nose. “Cloying.”
“Your mother puts potpourri in her bathrooms, a habit that you’ve continued, by the way. I’m thinking rosewater doesn’t really gross you out too much.”
“You callin’ me girly?”
“No. Just a mama’s boy.”
“Well.” He ducked his head. “That’s kind of true, I guess.”
The coffee was made Tyler-style: a little on the weak side so he could drink it without sugar and with a lot of cream.
Aaron was used to stronger stuff, but he wasn’t going to complain. “So.” He sat next to Tyler at the counter. “What do you think of expanding our road trip?”
Tyler frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, maybe we should go somewhere else before settling into Leavenworth. I mean, the wedding isn’t for a while. We could bypass Kansas completely and go north to Chicago. See the view from the top of the Sears Tower.”
“Aaron….”
“Or head down into Oklahoma. There has to be something to do in Oklahoma City, right?”
“We already said we’d be there today.”
Aaron didn’t say anything, just stared into his mug. His wavery reflection stared back at him, clear as mud, just like his thoughts.
“Did Zach email you? Is he bein’ weird?”
“No.” He needed to shut that line of inquiry down before Tyler got protective. “It’s nothing anybody said, it’s just… not much of a road trip if it only lasts a couple of days, right?”
A lot of the time, Tyler was a pain in the ass: immature, rowdy, like an overgrown puppy that didn’t know its tail could knock you down. Sometimes, though, he knew exactly the right thing to do and did it with so much poise that it was hard to realize you were being played exactly how you needed to be.
Instead of teasing―or worse, getting serious―he pushed his laptop away, took a sip of coffee, and said, “It’s your first road trip in, like, forever. Let’s not get carried away. If you want, we can go the long way heading back. I’d like to see Chicago.” He wiggled one hand uncertainly. “Oklahoma City, though, I think we could give that a pass. What’re we gonna look at, oil derricks? Wind turbines?”
Aaron relaxed a little. “Chicago it is, then. If you can afford the time.”
Tyler shrugged. “I can if you let me get some of my work done before we head out this morning. Don’t have to leave before noon, but I figured I’d take advantage of the good Wi-Fi.”
“No problem.” Aaron got up to start looking through the fridge. “Are you hungry? I’ll make something for breakfast.” There were plenty of vegetables, a carton of eggs, some feta… “We can use the groceries here, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I’m fixing us an omelet.”
“That sounds good for me, but what’ll you eat?”
“Ha-ha,” Aaron said as he fished around in the cabinets under the countertops for a pan. Bam, right where they should have been. Only Tyler put pots and pans up high and dishes down low. “It’ll be a big omelet. I don’t want to have to stop on the road again….” He let his voice drift off for a moment. “Tiny omelet, actually. One egg. We’ll have to stop for a second breakfast and lunch too.”
“Sounds good.”
Breakfast did end up good, if not tiny. Aaron showered and dressed, packed his things and tried to read his book on the couch while Tyler plugged away at his work. Sharp Teeth just wasn’t holding his attention, though. Aaron kept glancing at his phone, looking away, looking at it again. He could look. He might as well. He’d be better prepared, and there was nothing he hated worse than being caught unprepared.
“Fuck it,” he muttered, and picked up his phone. He opened it up to Facebook and, for the first time ever, typed in his brother’s name. Zachary Ellis.
The banner was obviously something from an engagement photo, Zach and a pretty brunette doing some sort of “running through a field of wildflowers” thing. It looked strange, especially juxtaposed with Zach’s profile picture, which was a shot of him balancing a can of beer on the bridge of his nose. Aaron took a deep breath, then clicked on the rest of the photos.
There were pictures through the years of him with Chrissy and her other kids, plenty of Zach playing with his dog too, a wire-haired terrier who came up about knee high. There were a bunch of him hanging out with a group of guys, sometimes in uniform, sometimes not—right, Zach worked as a guard in the Leavenworth Detention Center, one of the five prisons in the town’s vicinity and the largest employers other than the nearby army base. There were a bunch of him and the girl he’d been running through a field with—Becky, right. She was pretty, in a wholesome kind of way. In almost all the pictures of the two of them together, Zach looked over the moon just to be next to her.
Aaron clicked the formal Engagement Photos folder and couldn’t help grinning a little. Wow, they’d gone all out on cheesy poses, that was for sure. There were also several of Becky surrounded by a posse of bridesmaids—what, three of them? Four? Pictures of girls trying on bubblegum-pink dresses and posing together as they toasted with mimosas. Zach with his groomsmen was a little different: barbecuing, throwing around a football, drinking, eating, cheering at some sort of sporting event. It was a surprisingly big wedding party, all things considered.
“Those dresses ain’t gonna last the night.”
Aaron glanced over his shoulder at Tyler, who was putting away his laptop and sneaking a peek of the phone simultaneously. “Bright pink chiffon and red wine with dinner? Or a bartender who makes a mean tequila sunrise? Those girls’ll be rainbow-colored by the end of the night.”
“Maybe not.”
“They’re partyers, man. They’re gonna get a little crazy. Guys too. Wait and see. I bet you’re the only one still wearing your tie by the end of the night.”
“Probably. Fuck.” Aaron turned off his phone. “I’m going to be the buzzkill.”
Long, gangly arms enfolded his head and shoulders from behind. Aaron squawked and tried to pull away, but Tyler had him in a death grip. “Nah, you won’t,” he predicted. “If these Kansan hicks can’t appreciate you, that’s their damn mistake. ’Sides, you’ll loosen up with a few beers in you.”
“One beer.”
“It’s a wedding, man. You’re gonna want more just to make it through the damn thing. Trust me.” Tyler let him go and jumped over the couch to bounce next to him. “Open bar’s the best part, right?”
Aaron shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been to a wedding before.”
Tyler looked… well, gobsmacked was how Aaron wanted to put it. “That can’t be. What about Shelly’s wedding?” Shelly was Tyler’s youngest sister, the sibling who was only ten years older than he was.
“I didn’t go, remember? She was having it in Florida, and I had summer school.”
“Shit. I do remember that. I wanted to stay behind too, but Shelly would have killed me. What about Karen?”
“Not invited.”
“Bullshit.”
It didn’t seem to make Tyler feel any better, though. “And my mama let her get away with manners like that?”
“Your mom asked if I wanted to go, and I said no.”
Diana was one of the kindest souls Aaron had ever met, but he wasn’t going to abuse her hospitality like that.
“Why don’t I remember this?”
“Probably because you were fifteen.”
Tyler shook his head. “No, I would have known even then. It wouldn’t have felt right, you not being there.”
Well, that was flattering. “Was that when you had mono?”
“Maybe. Fuck.” Tyler stared at him. “This is really your first wedding?”
“Yep.”
“Then they’re definitely not gonna ruin it for you. Don’t worry, man.” He clapped Aaron on the shoulder. “I’ve got your back.”
“Just keep me from fucking it up, all right?” Aaron didn’t want this to be about him. Honestly, if he could have arranged to meet with his brother at another time, for almost any other reason, he’d have felt better about it. Of course, he might have begged off of anything else, too. He’d actually done that here, at first.
“I will, I will. But really, all you’ve gotta do is not get drunk and set anything on fire or fuck anybody in the wedding party and you’re probably golden.”
“That’s super reassuring, thanks.”
“Think of it this way,” Tyler advised as he headed for his bedroom. “It’s been, like, fourteen years since you’ve seen your brother in person, right? And he’s the one getting married on Saturday. You really think you’re going to be more nervous than he is heading into this?”
“Yeah, I do.” Aaron looked through more of the pictures. It seemed like his brother had a lot of friends. “He’s got a whole life here, and I’m….” Not part of it.
Tyler heaved a sigh. “Your brother has been dating the same girl since high school. He’s got the same job that everybody else in town has got. He’s been with this ‘new’ family of his for most of his life. And now his brother’s comin’ into town, then he’s going from bachelor to married, and then he’s pickin’ up and movin’ to Missouri with his new wife so she can go to grad school over here. Everything in his life is about to change, Aaron. Trust me, he’s nervous.”
“How do you know all that?” Aaron demanded.
“Are you kidding me? I’ve been stalking Zach online ever since I learned his name. I’ve been Facebook friends with him for, like, a year and a half.”
“Why would you bother?”
Tyler brought his bag out and flopped down next to Aaron again. “Because I wanted to know more about you.”
“You could have just asked.”
Tyler snorted. “Yeah, ’cause that’s worked out so well in the past. And whatever, you’re entitled to your secrets. I’d never make you share anything you don’t want to. But you can’t blame me for lookin’ for clues wherever I could find them.”
Aaron knew he was gaping, but he couldn’t help it. “I didn’t know you wanted clues!”
“Well, I’d prefer just out-and-out sharing, but I’ll take what I can get, y’know? But it’s okay,” he insisted. “I mean it about the sharing thing. Just because I don’t keep secrets from you doesn’t mean you’ve got to reciprocate.”
“You’ve got secrets from me,” Aaron scoffed.
“Oh yeah?” Tyler crossed his arms. “Name one.”
“I can’t name them―if I could they wouldn’t be secrets.”
“You can’t name any because they don’t exist. Who did I lose my virginity to? Chelsea Dawkins. Who was my—”
“Wait, it wasn’t Carl?”
Tyler waggled a hand. “Carl was the first guy, but technically the first person I ever came with was Chelsea, so I’m givin’ it to her. And see?” He pointed a finger at Aaron. “The fact that you knew to ask for clarification proves my point! You know all this stuff about me. I’m an open fuckin’ book to you.”
Aaron narrowed his eyes. “Are you pissed about something?”
“No!”
“Because you sound kind of pissed.”
“I’m not, I just….” Tyler ran a hand through his hair. “I wish you’d listen to me when I tell you you’re gonna be all right. I might not know everything, but I do know you, as well as anybody does. You’re smart, you’re tough, you’re really good with people when you’re tryin’. I feel like you’re expecting something to come at you once we get there, though, and I can’t help you with it if I don’t know what it is.”
“Oh.” Well. That made sense, in a weird, tactical kind of way. Watching Tyler fidget on the other end of the couch, not meeting Aaron’s eyes as though he already felt like he’d pushed too hard, when Aaron hadn’t given him anything… he had a point.
“It’s because I don’t know what to expect, and I sort of feel like I should.” Aaron sighed, then shrugged. “It’s a bullshit answer, but that’s what I’ve got. I hate being ignorant. You know I do, but with everything to do with my birth family, I’ve cultivated a sort of… distance, ever since I left Kansas. Chrissy never said I couldn’t call to talk to Zach, or that I could never ask to see him now and then. She even encouraged me to, as far as that went, but I couldn’t take her up on it. I was too….” Angry. Hurt. Scared. “Upset to keep my hand in, and now, yeah, that bugs me.”
He held up his phone. “Everything on this, everything Zach’s lived since we went our separate ways, I’ve had no part in it. And I feel bad about that, and I hate feeling bad because I don’t think it’s logical under the circumstances, but that’s feelings for you.”
Tyler looked at him searchingly. “I didn’t know you missed him so much.”
“I haven’t,” Aaron confessed. “Not for years. And that probably makes me a bad person in some ways, but for the most part, I don’t feel like I missed out on some huge, important part of life because I went to Tennessee and found you and your folks. I’m lucky I did. I know that. You guys are the best. Honest to God, if every kid who went into the foster system could be as lucky as me, my job would be a breeze.
“So right now, fine, I’m being slapped in the face with my own ignorance about my brother and that sucks. There’s all sorts of shit I’ll never know about him, stuff I’ll never be a part of. I’m trying to be okay with that, though. I will be okay with it once we leave and head back home. I don’t need that to be happy. I’m already happy.”
“Are you?” Tyler looked genuinely concerned. Aaron didn’t like it. “Because you probably wouldn’t be on a forced vacation if you were really happy.”
“Pam’s pushy. Trust me. I could be singing my heart out like a Disney princess and she’d still have put me out to pasture for a while.”
“Pam’s pretty awesome.”
“You think everybody who gives me crap is awesome.”
“Not that one case mama who tried to brain you with a fryin’ pan, but everyone else?” Tyler beamed, his equilibrium restored. “Yeah, pretty much!”
“Go finish your work so we can get out of here.”
“It’s done, man. I’m just waiting on you.” He nudged Aaron’s knee with his foot. “You ready to head out?”
Aaron turned his phone off and stuck it in his pocket. “I guess I am.”
Chapter Seven
THEY managed to drag the ride out another five hours, thanks in part to Tyler’s insistence that they go off course to check out a water tower painted like an 8-ball, a group of statues shaped out of scrap metal into the creepiest-looking family that Aaron had ever seen, and what was billed as the World’s Largest Cap-Gun hanging outside over the doorway of a random building in downtown Kansas City. By the time Tyler had driven by it twice, Aaron was ready to admit defeat.
“We can cross the border.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“’Cause we could backtrack for the hearse museum. It’s not far.”
“As thrilling as that sounds, I think I’ll pass,” Aaron said. “I’m ready.” As ready as he was going to get, which was the best he could hope for at this point. They were less than twenty miles from Leavenworth. They were doing this.
It was muggy out this close to the river, but Aaron kept the window rolled down. Tyler had the radio on but wasn’t singing along anymore, and they rolled into Leavenworth in a mutual, gentle silence that Aaron appreciated.
It looked… well, pretty much the same as he remembered it. It had been so long, he’d expected a few more changes, but no—there was the turn-off for Ft. Leavenworth, the base as well as the prison where so many people worked, and over there was the Dairy Queen and the Little Caesar’s Pizza that had been a special treat on the rare occasions Aaron had been over at another kid’s house.
“Aaron.”
“Mm.”
“You’ve got to help me find this place, man.”
“Right.” Aaron shook his head a little. “Right, sorry. Turn left on 4th. Look for Osage―we’ll be taking a left there.”
“Okay.” Tyler went a little below the speed limit and Aaron wished he would slow down even more, but it just wasn’t possible. Tall trees lined the street, oak and elm, and the houses were a familiar blend of old, majestic brick constructs, slender two-stories, or bungalows. When Tyler turned down 4th Street, Aaron’s breath actually stuck in his throat for a moment when he caught sight of Chrissy’s place.
“There.” He pointed at the periwinkle-blue two-story house on the corner of Osage and 3rd. “That’s it.”
“Got it.” Tyler pulled the 4Runner to a stop on the street, cut the engine, and glanced interestedly at the building. “Damn,” he said. “That’s a hell of a lot of garden gnomes.”