by Cari Z
“No reason to make them worse,” Matthew muttered, but Owen plowed on without waiting for more commentary.
“On my other side, we have a 1991 Honda Civic that’s pretty damn gorgeous, except for the fact that she’s missing all her left panels and her clutch is almost burned out. She’s a bitch to start, but she’s good around corners, and her tires are only slightly deflated.
“The course is once around the track, Kia to the outside because if you bang into each other the Civic still has doors on the right side. Head-to-head races, and if you lose you’re out until the next round, when you get to drive the other car. And keep your seat belts on, ladies, because if someone falls out and gets run over, my dad will probably murder me in my sleep. But first… shots!”
“Yeah, that’ll make a bad idea even worse,” Aaron said, because he felt like someone ought to be pointing it out. “You get that this is really unsafe, right?”
“Safety is for the weak!” Owen insisted, handing the shots around. “And are we weak? Hell no, we’re not!”
Zach groaned but accepted his shot with good grace, and Simon and Matthew threw them back with Owen like the moonshine was water. Tyler glanced in Aaron’s direction, checking in, and Aaron nodded. He wasn’t going to stop Tyler from having fun, and at this rate, that might only happen if both he and Owen were drunk enough to ignore each other.
Shots dutifully downed, Owen paired off the drivers. First up: Zach behind the wheel of the Civic, Matthew driving the Spectra. “It’s the battle of the brothers! In-law,” he added, remembering Aaron at the last minute. “Brother-in-laws. All right! Gentlemen, start your engines!”
At least they both ran, even though the Spectra sounded like it was about to cough its last. Owen hoisted the sash, casting a warning glare at Tyler as he did. “On three… two… one… go!”
Matthew took off at a decent clip, but Zach couldn’t seem to get the Civic into gear. The grinding put Aaron’s teeth on edge, but with enough shouted advice and a few shouted insults as well, Zach finally got it moving. Matthew was already around the first turn, a pile of busted tires, and Zach sped up as fast as he could while moving in first. It looked like he was afraid to take it out of gear now that he’d gotten it in. Needless to say, Matthew beat him back to the starting line with thirty seconds to spare.
“You got smoked!” he crowed as Zach finally pulled in.
“Winner gets a shot, loser gets….” Owen reached into his pack and, with a dramatic flourish, pulled out a different sort of bottle. “Calorie-free vitamin water! Perfect for pussies who can’t drive to save their man cards!” He shoved it at Zach, who took it halfheartedly but drank it all down.
“Savin’ himself a headache later,” Tyler murmured. Aaron nodded.
The next race was between the two of them, or as Owen put it, “GB and GBFF, because I wanna see them get angry! You aren’t boyfriends on the track, so be nasty!”
“Somebody’s got a little obsession,” Tyler teased as he got into the Spectra. Aaron took the Civic, noting how the Spectra’s engine was starting to ping a little, the difficulty that Zach had had with the clutch, and formulated a plan. Owen gave them the countdown, shouted GO, and Aaron immediately put the car into second.
“Dumbass, you’re going too slow!” Owen called out, and he was sort of right—it was a tough start from second gear, but the Spectra wasn’t moving as fast as it had been in the last race, whereas once he got up to speed… yeah. Aaron rounded the tires and quickly passed Tyler, who looked like he was doing his damnedest just to keep the wheel from vibrating out of his hands. The car’s alignment must have been shitty too.
Aaron won pretty handily, and when he got out and Owen went to slap him on the back, he let it happen. “Nice, man, you won! Winner gets a shot, loser… wait.”
“Tyler can take my shot,” Aaron said. Tyler obliged him with a grin, and Aaron took the vitamin water and sipped at it. He didn’t love the fake sugar flavor, but it was definitely refreshing.
“Don’t get you at all,” Owen muttered, but then the next race was called.
If there had been a method to the madness at the beginning, it quickly went by the wayside when nobody—except for Aaron, and he wasn’t talking—could remember who’d won each round and who’d driven what to do it. It ended up being a sort of free for all, whoever could get in the cars first doing the driving. Aaron was pretty sure Matthew drove twice as much as any of the rest of them, but in his defense, even drunk he won every race too.
The only time things got a little heated was when Owen and Tyler raced, Owen in the Spectra, Tyler in the Civic. Owen got his car off first, then put it on the inside. When Tyler moved to pass him on the straightaway, he swerved his car toward the Civic. It would have been fine, if the Civic had had any side panels on the left. As it was, Tyler was almost clipped and got sprayed with dirt, but not actually run into. He was plenty pissed, though.
“What the hell?” he demanded once the cars were stopped. “You were supposed to keep away from that side of the car.”
Owen was nothing but merry. “Shouldn’t have tried to cut me off then, douche! You looooose, so that means a shot for me, and a—”
“It was your fucking rule in the first place, O-ring.”
Owen took a slightly wobbly step in Tyler’s direction. “What, you gonna get up in my face now ’cause you were scared, little girl?”
“This why you have to rely on drunk-ass hookups with lying cougars, because you’re too much of a fuckin’ misogynist to get a woman your own age to take a second look at you?”
“Guys.” Simon got between them, and as short as he was, not even Owen could push him out of the way. “Come on. Don’t be like this. It’s Zach’s party, not your brawl.”
“He started it,” Owen muttered.
“No, your shitty driving started it.”
“I think we’re done here,” Aaron said loudly. “Let’s quit while we’re ahead and everyone still has their limbs. What’s next?”
“Next?” It took Owen a moment to recalibrate his brain from fight to talk. “Next, right. Next is….”
“Strip club,” Matthew supplied helpfully. How he could still sound so articulate with all that moonshine in him, Aaron didn’t know. “The one across from the railroad tracks.”
“Oh yeah.” Owen looked blearily at Aaron. “Don’t worry, I can get us there. This place is… like… my home away from home, I’d know the way blindfolded.”
“Great.” Aaron dug the keys out of his pocket. “Does your home away from home have a name?”
In fact, Owen’s second home had the kind of name that would probably stay in Aaron’s mind forever. He couldn’t quite believe it until he pulled into the parking lot and stared up at the neon outline of a scantily clad woman holding a rocket launcher, with the words BAZOOKA ALLSTARS glowing in hot pink beneath her.
“Oh my God,” Tyler said once he got out of the car and got a better look at the sign. “That’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Right?!” Owen slapped him on the back. “Even a fa—guy—a gay guy can appreciate a place like this. They serve booze, so it’s just topless, but the girls are so hot. Most of ’em are community college students.”
“Or so they say,” Simon muttered.
Owen grabbed Zach and pulled him forward. “First round and a lap dance are on me, Jailbait. After that you’re paying for yourself.”
They all had to prove their ages at the front door, and once they were inside, Owen and Matthew beelined for a table right beside the stage. Tyler and Simon followed next, while Zach, for some reason, hung back by Aaron.
“Is this okay?” he whispered the way drunk people did when they were trying to be quiet, which wasn’t quiet at all. “I know it’s not—not your scene, right?”
“True, but I don’t mind. It’s your bachelor party. And it’s not my first time in a strip club.” Not his second or third either, although the last few times had been as part of a task force lookin
g into underage prostitution.
“But I want you to have fun too!”
“You guys are the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time,” Aaron assured him with a smile. “And Tyler is loving it, so it’s all good.”
“Tyler’s awesome.”
Aaron already knew that, but it was nice to hear someone agree with him. “I think so too.”
“You are actually dating him, right? ’Cause if not you should be, ’cause he just….” Zach shrugged. “He looks like he gets you.”
“Hey, losers!” Owen called out. “Get your asses over here and start drinking! But not you, GB,” he added. “But do get over here!”
The bouncer caught Aaron’s eye and motioned him over as Zach started toward the table. “It’s fine if you guys started the party early,” he said when Aaron was close enough. “But if any of you start to get grabby, I’m tossing you out on your asses. Got it?”
“Got it.” It was nice of him to offer a warning.
“Hitting on the bouncer?” Owen asked as Aaron finally sat down.
“He’s way too butch for Aaron,” Tyler said. “Oh look, breasts!” Four sets of eyes turned to the stage as the music changed, but Tyler leaned in close to Aaron instead. “Everything okay?”
Aaron shrugged. “As long as nobody starts a fight.”
“Are you kiddin’ me? These girls’d take your eye out with a stiletto. Ain’t nobody gonna fuck with them.”
“Listen to you,” Aaron said with a chuckle.
“What?”
“Your accent gets thicker when you’re drinking.”
Tyler gently shoved at Aaron’s shoulder, his hand falling down to cover Aaron’s forearm. “I’m not the one with the accent, Kansas boy.”
Aaron raised an eyebrow. “Kansans don’t have an accent.”
“Yeah, next thing I know you’ll be tellin’ me New Yorkers don’t have no accent either. Which is bullshit. That’s where we should go next, not Chicago.”
“New York City?”
“Yeah!” Tyler relaxed into the chair, tipping it back on two legs, but he didn’t move his hand. Aaron tried not to read into it; Tyler was always handsy with him, always affectionate. After the number of shots he’s had, it didn’t mean anything special now. Except… maybe it did.
Maybe.
“Think about it—we could drive home in a day if we pushed it, get tickets to New York and fly out of Alanta an’ spend at least three days in the Big Apple. We could go to the museum. Aaron.” Tyler leaned in, eyes wide. “The museum with the dinosaurs. The big ones.”
“I think you’re thinking of Chicago again. Sue the T. Rex is at the Field Museum.”
Tyler shook his head. “No, no, no, not Sue. Sue’s cool, but no. No, the other one has the biggest dinosaur ever. The titansaur. Tinosaur. Fuckin’….”
“Titanosaur?”
Tyler grinned. “That’s the one! And I want to see it. We could—”
A drink coaster hit Tyler in the face. “Fuck’s sake, dudes, I don’t need to hear you plan your big gay honeymoon when I’m trying to enjoy some strippers!” Owen barked.
Tyler set his chair down on all fours. “Next thing you throw at me’s comin’ back at you twice as hard and twice as fast, O-ring.”
“That’s O-Dog, dumbass. How many times do I have to tell you?”
“Owen, shut the fuck up!” Zach insisted. “Swear to God I will kick your ass myself if you keep messing with them.”
“Oh yeah? You and what army, Jailbait?”
Simon motioned one of the topless ladies over to the table, handed her fifty bucks, and pointed her at Owen. “Please distract him for however long that lasts.”
She winked at Simon, tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “Can do, honey.”
“Aw, yeah!” At least with her, Owen had the experience to know he needed to keep his hands to himself. A girl on stage had knelt down next to Zach and, upon being told it was his bachelor party, enthusiastically knocked his head back and forth between her thighs until he was gasping.
There were drinks. There were dances. There were more drinks, but Tyler spent more time talking to Aaron than he did looking at the women, which was a little surprising—there was no way he was shy. And uninterested? Maybe, but he’d never restrained his impulse to look before, especially not when that was the point.
Their conversation was cut short by the arrival of a pretty girl with a dark brown bob and a tiny red outfit, slipping in between the two of them and setting on the edge of the table.
“Hey there,” she said with a smile at Aaron. “Your friend over there told me you were looking for some company.”
Aaron glanced over her shoulder. Sure enough, Owen was watching and snickering with Matthew.
“Ah.” Aaron looked back at the girl. “He misunderstood. I’m not hurting for company right now, but thank you for offering.”
She raised one eyebrow. “Are you sure? It’s a pretty slow night in here. A lady’s got to keep herself busy.” She leaned in to whisper in his ear. “And you’re way preferable to some of your friends, hot stuff.”
“I’m sure you’ll find someone else who’s willing to keep you busy.” Aaron dug out his wallet and handed her a twenty. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, though.”
“Aw.” She sighed but reached out and ruffled his hair. “Thanks anyway, baby.” She took the bill and sauntered away to another table, and Owen looked at Aaron like he’d just committed treason.
“You don’t pay them for doing nothing, GB! I don’t care if you’re gayer than a unicorn farting rainbows, if you hand over money to a woman whose job is to grind on you, you let her fucking grind on you!”
“I’m not the one who called her over here,” Aaron said pointedly.
“If you didn’t want her, you should have sent her to me! Or given her to your brother, if you want to be a bastard.”
Aaron gestured at Zach, who was chatting with thigh-girl as she did a backbend. “He’s occupied. And you already had one lady sent your way.”
“You stingy-ass son of a bitch.” He balled up his beer-soaked napkin and threw it at Aaron. Aaron batted it out of the air with a grimace.
“Look—”
“Keep your shit to yourself!” Tyler shouted as he picked up the napkin and threw it back at Owen. It hit him right in the mouth, and he sputtered with disgust. “You act like a damn pig, man.”
Owen glared at Tyler and balled his enormous, meaty hands into fists. “Oh, it’s on now!” Before Aaron or Tyler could react, Owen launched out of his chair and slammed into Tyler, knocked both of them onto the ground. Tyler’s chair broke as it hit the floor, and a second later the pieces went flying as they grappled for position, fists flying.
“Fuck!” Aaron moved his chair away from the melee, wanting to reach in but not wanting to get hit. “Tyler! Knock it off!”
“Owen!” Zach, Matthew, and Simon gathered around, but by the time Simon was reaching in to help break it up, Tyler had gotten Owen into some kind of chokehold from behind. Owen was trying to bite him, but he couldn’t get his chin low enough to get his teeth around Tyler’s arm.
Simon grabbed Owen’s feet and dragged him away, and Aaron put his hand on Tyler’s shoulder before Tyler could follow him. The bouncer got there a second later, and one look at his unamused face told Aaron that discretion was the better part of valor.
“We’re leaving,” he promised. “We’re leaving right now.”
“You’re paying for that chair, too.”
“Whatever you say.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Zach said, his face pale. “You guys go. You go first. Take the car home. We’ll get cabs.”
“Are you sure?” The last thing Aaron wanted to do—the absolute fucking last thing—was put up with Owen for another minute, much less put him in the same car with Tyler again, but he didn’t want to leave them hanging either.
“We’re fine,” Simon confirmed, sitting Owen firmly in his chair and pressing ha
rd on his shoulders when he tried to get up, still spitting curses.
“Now, gentlemen,” the bouncer said ominously. Aaron grabbed Tyler’s elbow and turned them toward the doorway. He didn’t resist. He didn’t say anything either, which was so weird that Aaron wondered if he’d been hurt. Outside. I’ll ask outside.
It didn’t take long to get out of the club, and the fresh air was a welcome change from the stale, hazy atmosphere inside. Aaron led Tyler over to the 4Runner but didn’t open it up yet, just leaned him back against the door and put his hands on Tyler’s shoulders.
“Ty? Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry.” His voice was rough, and he didn’t meet Aaron’s eyes. “I didn’t mean for things to go that far, but that asshole has been pushing buttons all fucking night and when he threw that goddamn napkin, I just saw red.”
“I….” That’s what he thought Aaron was upset about? “I don’t care that you defended yourself from Owen. I care that you’re hurt.”
“Oh.” Tyler lifted his head. His eyes were suspiciously bright. “I’m fine. He barely got a single shot in before I took his back and put him in a rear naked choke.”
“It’s a good thing he doesn’t know the name of that move. He’d claim you were trying to make him gay,” Aaron said.
Tyler snorted. “He’s a fuckin’ moron. An’ he shouldn’t have been throwin’ things at you.”
“I agree, but I had that handled.”
“By not sayin’ anything.”
“By not listening to him being a shit and trying to manipulate me into being upset, yeah.”
“But he shouldn’t get to do that anyway! He doesn’t know a thing about you. He doesn’t know….” Tyler ran his hands into his hair and gripped it, hard. “He doesn’t know how hard you care about your kids, how you work later and longer than anyone else because you don’t want to let them down even when you work yourself into the ground. He doesn’t know that you don’t trust yourself to drink more than a single beer ’cause you don’ want to chance becomin’ a useless asshole, even though you never would. He doesn’t know that you let Clue make confetti out of your pants with her claws as long as she keeps purrin’, and you never miss a fuckin’ birthday with me even when you don’t remember your own birthday, and you didn’t want to come here but you came anyway because I asked! And somebody’s gonna treat you like that and think he can get away with it jus’ ’cause you’re too nice to kick up a fuss? Fuck that noise.”