by Jill Shalvis
“There’s not.” Brooke forced a smile. “Believe me, we tried. Now give me a hug good-bye.”
“No.” Mindy shook her head. “You’re not hugging me good-bye, because you’re not leaving. It makes no sense. You’re just afraid to put down roots, but you know what? You’ve never even given putting down roots a chance! And you know what else? My friend at the county offices said they were so excited about you and your work for them that they’re wanting more. A lot more.”
Brooke knew this—they’d contacted her as well.
“Are you really just going to walk away from the job?” Mindy asked.
“They knew I was temporary.”
“Your entire life’s temporary!”
Brooke took Mindy’s hand and gently squeezed. “I’ve been in touch with them. They know I’m going. They’ve got all the work I’ve done up to this point.”
“Oh my God, this is all so wrong! You belong here. With us.” Mindy whirled to Linc. “Tell her.”
“She’s a big girl, babe. She makes her own decisions. We just back them.”
Mindy huffed out a breath. “Well, if you’re going to be reasonable.” Her eyes filled with tears as she yanked Brooke in for a hard hug. A strangling hug.
“Too tight,” Brooke gasped out dramatically. “Seriously, Min. Can’t. Breathe.” When Mindy didn’t let go, Brooke sighed and squeezed her back. “Don’t.” She closed her eyes. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is.”
“But last time you left, you didn’t come back for years!”
“I’ll come back, Min, I promise,” she heard herself say. “Besides, I love your kids.”
“Really?”
Brooke’s throat burned. “Of course I do. I love them like they’re my own.” And look at that, saying so didn’t almost kill her like it would’ve a couple of weeks ago.
Mindy lifted her head, her drenched eyes meeting Brooke’s, clearly understanding exactly how much this statement had cost her.
“We love you, too, Auntie Bee,” Princess Millie said as she skipped into the room in a sunshine-yellow dress with a smiley-face emoji on the front and a kissy-face one on the back. Her tights were black and her high-top sneakers matched her dress. So did her beanie.
“Baby, you’re going to melt at camp,” Linc said. “It’s going to be a hot one. Pick a different outfit.”
“But Mommy didn’t get me the one I wanted to wear. If she had, I’d be nice and cool.”
“What did we say about manipulating and passive-aggressiveness?” Linc asked.
Millie huffed out a sigh. “That it’s unbecoming.” She looked at the tears on her mom’s and Brooke’s faces. “Did you tell Auntie Brooke about the tooth fairy and Santa Claus, too, Mommy?”
Just then Maddox and Mason tumbled into the room mid–sword fight, their weapons of choice being golf clubs.
Linc expertly disarmed his boys. “No murder or mayhem in the house,” he said mildly. “Now give Auntie Bee kisses goodbye. She’s going home, but she’ll be back.” He met Brooke’s gaze. “She promised.”
The kids all flew at her, and Brooke went to her knees to gather them in. Millie smelled like strawberries and rainbows. The boys smelled like fresh-cut grass, the outdoors, and, in Maddox’s case, like maybe he had to go to the bathroom very soon. She hugged them tight until they began to make the same dramatic noises she’d made when Mindy had hugged her too tight. God, she loved these little soul-suckers with all her heart. “I’ll be back,” she whispered, her throat raw.
“Will you bring ice cream?” Mason asked.
“Whatever you want,” she managed.
“Promise?”
“Promise.” Listen to her. Handing out promises left and right, and she knew with all her heart that she’d never break a single one of them.
Chapter 25
“Good to know the asshole trait flows down.”
Garrett woke up with a huge weight on his chest. He lay there, eyes closed, knowing exactly what it was. While he knew he wasn’t responsible for his mom dying young or his dad being in and out of jail and not available to parent, and then the string of foster homes . . . he was responsible for how he’d let it all affect him.
He knew he tended to skate through life. Oh, he enjoyed himself. He did. He loved renovating, so it’d never even felt like a job. He loved being outdoors and adventure seeking. He loved coaching and mentoring kids.
And all those things came easy to him.
The things that didn’t come easy? He just didn’t do. Like forging relationships that required any depth, at least outside of his tribe—Linc, Mindy, and, once upon a time, Brooke. And let’s be honest: They’d chosen him, simply collecting him and claiming him with an ease he’d never seen before. He hadn’t had to do a thing.
When his dad had showed up on his doorstep looking for forgiveness and a new start, it’d seemed insurmountably hard, so what had he done? He’d pulled his usual I-don’t-need-anyone bullshit so that eventually his dad would walk away again. And he had.
That was on Garrett.
When Brooke had been skittish and nervous, even panicked, about coming back into his life, had he given her the patience and love that she’d needed? No. He’d concentrated on his own issues, and when things had started to get too deep and she’d gotten scared and turned tail and run, he’d let her go.
He hated what that said about him. Because of his fears and hang-ups, the best thing to ever happen to him had walked away.
For a second time.
He’d tried telling himself that his life had gone back to basics, that’s all. His dad was gone, and that was normal. Brooke was gone, and that was normal, too. He was on his own again, not worrying about complicated relationships and how to make them all work. It was how he’d lived his entire life. It worked for him.
And if his chest ached with regrets and a sense of loneliness he hadn’t expected, he told himself it would pass.
Everything passed, especially people.
That’s what he’d always believed. But something had changed deep inside him. He was done with accepting these things without a fight.
It was time to go after what he wanted.
So, with that decided and all, why did he still feel like an elephant was sitting on his chest? He opened his eyes and figured it out. Not an elephant. Just three fat cats. He shifted and dumped them onto the mattress, and six narrowed eyes leveled him with varying degrees of scorn, annoyance, and temper. “Please feel free to sleep literally anywhere else,” he said, and grabbed some clothes.
Brooke’s car was gone, which sucked and made his stomach feel hollow. When his phone rang, he snatched at it, hoping it was her.
His luck wasn’t that good. It was Mark Capriotti. “I just got in,” Mark said. “And there’s a note here from our overnight desk clerk. There was a sighting of your dad at the convenience store, but it’s from yesterday, man.”
“Better than nothing. And thanks.” Garrett grabbed his keys and headed out. He knew his dad could be anywhere by now, but he’d start at the store.
“Seen my dad lately?” he asked Ace, who was behind the counter.
“You’ve asked me that just about every day for over a week now.”
“Which isn’t an answer,” Garrett noted.
Ace blew out a breath and hesitated, looking guilty as hell.
Dammit. “Look, it’s important. I wouldn’t ask you to betray a confidence otherwise.”
“Dude, I made a promise.”
“He’s sick,” Garrett said. “Did he tell you that?”
From Ace’s expression, it was clear he hadn’t known. “He told me he refused to upend your life, not ever again.”
Garrett absorbed the blow of that. “He didn’t upend my life. I managed that all on my own. I owe him an apology and a real effort.”
Ace looked at him for a long moment. “He’s at the campground. In a gray tent he . . . appropriated.”
“I’ve been there every damn day,” Garrett
said. “I haven’t seen his truck.”
“He sold it.”
Fifteen minutes later, Garrett was at the campgrounds, heading up the trail. The weather had warmed, and there were at least twenty tents there now. He strode up to the only gray one in sight and stood at the zipped-up door, thinking this could go easy or hard. “Dad.”
Nothing.
The hard way it was, then.
“Dad, there’s no reason for you to stay out here,” he said, staring at his boots. “I’ve got plenty of room for you and Snoop.” He paused, knowing he needed to try harder. “I’d really like it if you came home.”
Nothing.
Garrett pinched the bridge of his nose. “Listen, I was a dick, all right? You showed up after all those years, and I was nursing a grudge like a stupid little kid. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder. I’m sorry I kept myself closed off to you. I’m sorry for a lot of things.”
Still no movement from inside the tent.
He was batting 0 for 2 in the relationship department. “I don’t want you to leave, Dad.” There. He’d said it out loud. “I want you to live with me. I want to give us a shot at this dad-and-son thing.” And he actually meant it.
There was a rustle from inside the tent and then a head appeared. A thirtysomething head, looking like he’d seen better times. “Dude. Wrong tent. But nice speech. I’d totally come home with you, man.”
Garrett smiled grimly and moved through the small city of tents. He found another gray one, way in the back. “Anyone home?” he asked.
This time, the silence was loaded.
“Dad?”
The zipper slowly came undone, and Snoop stuck his head out to bark a greeting. His dad’s head came next, his expression quiet and reflective.
“There you are,” Garrett said with huge relief, and tried to remember his speech. But he was drawing a blank. “I made you an appointment with a doctor for this afternoon.”
“I don’t need a doctor. This was supposed to be about you, Garrett,” his dad said quietly. “About how I treated you, how I failed you. About helping you make a home in that house you’ve been neglecting because . . . well, hell, I’m not sure why, but I bet a therapist would be happy to trace that back to something I did, too. I was here to make amends, Garrett. Not further screw you up. So, I’m moving on. I’ve got another job, and they really need me, so . . .” He started to retreat back into his tent.
Garrett was really getting tired of losing the people he cared about due to his own stubborn incompetence. Sometimes you’ve got to try a different route to get where you want to go . . . Brooke had taught him that. So he pulled out the big guns. “Dad, wait. Look at Snoop,” he said. “He deserves a home, don’t you think? He loves my house. Where else can he sniff kitty butts and eat Tender Vittles right out of a sandbox?” He squatted low and hugged Snoop. “Forget about us, Dad, but think of Snoop. He needs this. Come home with me.”
His dad looked at Snoop, who licked his face, then turned back to Garrett. “You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
His dad nodded and came out of his tent. “Then let’s go.”
“Your tent and stuff,” Garrett said.
His dad looked back at it. “I’m going to leave it all here for someone in need. Unless I’ll be needing it again . . . ?”
“No, you won’t be needing it again,” Garrett said firmly, and then the three of them headed down the trail.
A LITTLE BIT later, Garrett had his dad settled in and comfortable, and while he felt good about it, he wasn’t done.
He had to get Brooke back, too.
There was delicious scent coming from the kitchen, and he followed it. Apparently epiphanies made one hungry because his stomach went off, reminding him he hadn’t eaten in . . . he didn’t know how long. He found his dad piling three plates with bacon and eggs.
“Where’s the cutie?” his old man asked. “I made enough for everyone.”
“She’s gone.”
His dad looked at him in surprise. “You screwed it up? What’s wrong with you?”
“A lot, actually.”
His dad pointed the spatula at him. “That girl’s got a head on her shoulders. She wouldn’t have walked away without good cause. What the hell did you do?”
Garrett shook his head. “It’s complicated.”
“Of course it is, a woman’s involved. But whatever bullshit you pulled, you can fix it with a sincere apology and a promise to do better.”
“This isn’t some simple misunderstanding, Dad. I accused her of being too chicken to go after what she really wanted. But it was me. I was the chickenshit who wasn’t brave enough to fight for her.”
“So you were stupid.”
Garrett sighed. “Yeah.”
His dad shook his head. “Good to know the asshole trait flows down.”
“Gee, thanks, that’s really helpful. I’m going after her, by the way.”
“Yeah? What’s taking you so long?”
“Clearly, I’m a dumbass.”
His dad nodded and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry. Knowing it is half the battle.”
Chapter 26
“We’re going to Disneyland!”
Brooke got to LA at midday, which meant she started her big return stuck in an LA traffic jam. She went straight to the studio and hit another major pet peeve—meetings that could’ve been handled with an email. Sitting in an office after being in Wildstone for weeks—hiking, taking pics again, enjoying the great outdoors—was sheer torture. She told herself she’d fix that by taking the job Cole had gotten her. There was a new show starting up in a few months. It would take her to South America for six months. Six months gone, without getting back to Wildstone to see the kids. Mindy and Linc.
Garrett . . .
If she closed her eyes, she could still see the look on his face when she’d walked away. Just remembering shriveled her heart more than a little. So the question was obvious. Why was she even here? Why had she run away instead of taking a stand for what she wanted, which was, at the very least, being part of her family again? She could’ve had that, a job, and some pretty amazing sex, but she’d had to blow it all up, and why?
It was exactly as Garrett had said: she was afraid. What she felt for him ran deeper and felt more real than she’d allowed in . . . well, ever, and she’d let the fear take over. The fear of not being enough—not for her family, not for Garrett.
Or was it because, as Mindy had accused, when shit had gotten real, way too real, she was simply afraid to put down roots, because if she did, it was like admitting her best days were behind her?
Both. It was both.
At the end of a long day in front of three huge computer screens, she leaned back in her chair and stared blindly up at the ceiling, running the pads of her thumbs over her fingers rhythmically. She didn’t look over when she felt Cole drop into the chair beside her.
“I’m not taking that job,” she said.
“The one you demanded I get you?”
“Yes.” She turned to him. “I’m grateful to you. So grateful.”
He sighed. “I don’t want gratitude, Brooke.”
“I know.” She looked right at him. “But I can’t give you what you want,” she said softly.
He nodded and spoke just as quietly. “I know. You’re going back.”
“I’m going back,” she agreed.
He looked pained.
“What?”
“Hearing you say it out loud . . .” He lifted a shoulder. “It makes it real. I mean, I already knew it. I knew it before you even came back. But it does make it easier to tell you something.”
“What’s that?”
He paused and held her gaze. “Garrett’s here.”
She jerked to her feet. “What?”
“Yeah. He’s in the—”
That was all Cole got out before she tore out of the editing booth and plowed directly into Tommy.
“Whoa,” he said, catching her. “Wh
ere’s the fire?”
“I gotta go, Garrett’s here.”
Tommy nodded. “Yep. He’s currently pacing the reception area. But—”
But nothing. She flew down the hall and into the open greeting area. There was a surprising crowd. Her sister. Princess Millie, Mason, and Maddox. Linc. Garrett’s dad and Snoop, who gave a low wuff in greeting.
But she had eyes for only one person.
Garrett had turned at the sound of her footsteps. He stood there in jeans and his battered leather jacket over a Whiskey River T-shirt, along with a three-day beard and dark circles under his eyes.
He looked like the best thing she’d ever seen.
“Hi, Auntie Bee!” Millie yelled, and waved. “We’re going to Disneyland tomorrow! And then the next day Mommy and Daddy are going to Hawaii. We don’t get to go, but I get to get a princess dress at Disneyland! And—”
Linc took Millie’s hand. “Baby, remember what we said in the car?”
“That I was to be quiet and let Garrett talk first. But, Daddy, he’s not talking fast enough!”
“Hey, who wants a tour of the studio?” Tommy called out as he came up to Brooke’s side. He gave her a wink. “Right this way, everyone!”
Linc leaned in to give Brooke a quick hug. “Don’t kill her.”
The “her” in question was clearly Mindy, who was right behind Linc.
Mindy rolled her eyes. “Well, excuse me for wanting to make sure this was done right,” she said, and side-eyed Garrett.
Linc took her by the hand. “Okay, babe, come on.”
Brooke’s stomach was in knots and her heart was fluttering. She couldn’t tear her gaze off Garrett as everyone followed Tommy and finally left them alone.
Since the two of them were chronic idiots, they stood in strained silence for a few beats, eyes locked. Normally she’d fight the urge to go to him, but she was tired of fighting. She’d been fighting herself, fighting the Brooke she was versus the Brooke she wanted to be, fighting her feelings for the amazing man standing in front of her. She must’ve finally moved, though, because suddenly she was in his arms, hers winding around his neck, her legs going around his waist.