by Sam Crescent
“It was in the beginning, but it changed. I changed.”
“Really? You’re going to start telling me how you saw the error of your ways.”
“It started to feel real, Chloe. You, me, this, us.”
“There is no us.”
“I didn’t film us. That night and every single night since then with you has been amazing, incredible. I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“But you did,” she said.
He saw the tears, and it broke him apart.
“Chloe, I can fix this.”
“You can’t. I can’t go to school. Everyone saw that tape, and I don’t trust you.”
“I didn’t do it.”
“But someone did. Someone you don’t know got the proof.” She pressed her lips together.
“Don’t cry, Chloe, please don’t cry.”
“I … I didn’t trust you. I didn’t think there was a single nice bone in your body.” She took a deep breath. “But I started to see something amazing in you. Something that thrilled me, and made everything exciting. I truly started to believe you.”
“Don’t give up on me. I’m begging you. I can make this work.”
“You can? You can stop people moaning or pointing. Laughing. I went to the grocery store today, and I got all that. I never ever thought of myself as better than you, or any of you.” She was sobbing. “If you want to know the truth, all I ever wanted was to be able to fit in, to be part of you and your group. You all treated me as if I was an extension of my dad, but you’re not even a friend because someone who cares, who loves you, wouldn’t be looking for ways to bring you down. I’m finishing my schooling, and then I’m out of here.”
“Chloe.”
“If you care at all for me, you will leave me alone. You will go and let me live my life. You won, Alfie. Take the win and leave me the fuck alone.” She slammed the door closed, and he heard the lock click.
“I love you, Chloe. No matter where you go or what happens, I will always love you, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.” He rested his head on the door, wishing he could think of the right words to say, or something that would make her see sense.
“You need to leave,” Lily said.
He turned to see her in the driveway. She looked just as pale and sad. “My dad had nothing to do with this, Lily, I swear. He told me not to bully Chloe, and I stopped. I stopped … doing everything. I promise you, I love her, and I want to do whatever it takes to make it right. You don’t have to call the wedding off or the engagement, or anything.”
“You know I told my daughter to be fairer to you. To give you a chance and then I had to see what I did. I’m not going to force my daughter to do anything she doesn’t want to do, and you need to leave.”
“Lily, I promise you, my dad—”
“It doesn’t matter. My daughter will always come first, and if I were to marry Eagle, it would mean being close to you. Every time she sees Eagle, she’ll remember you. I’m not going to do that to my daughter, and neither are you. You will leave her alone.” Lily pushed past him, and he watched her step into the house.
This was useless. He knew that.
Leaving Chloe’s house, it tore his world apart as he didn’t want to leave her behind.
They were going to make this work. He’d stay at Satan’s Croft as a prospect to the club, she’d get her culinary qualification or whatever it was she wanted, and she’d come back here, open her own place, and it would all work.
Everything was perfectly mapped out, at least in his head, and now, it was all fucked up because of him.
Ian and Riley met up with him as he crossed the road heading into town.
“You okay?”
“No. Do I look okay?”
“You don’t need to bite my head off, just asking is all,” Riley said.
“You’re right. I’m not okay. Any of your folks talking to you?” Alfie asked.
“Nope,” Ian said. “My house is completely silent. Even my mom won’t talk to me, and she’s not even cooking for me either.”
“I’ve got nothing. Dad took my bike and my credit card,” Riley said. “I’ve already put in a couple of applications for a job. They won’t support me. I’ve got a bed, and that’s it.”
“My bike’s gone. Dad trashed it with a bat,” Alfie said. “It’s nothing but a pile of metal in the back yard.”
“Welcome to being the assholes that we are,” Ian said.
“I need to know who was at your party. Who had a beef with us, and who would film that shit,” Alfie said. “I’ve got to fix this one way or the other.”
“You know I didn’t exactly send out invitations. Anyone could have been filming us at any given time.” Ian shrugged. “I’ve gone all over my bedroom, and the only way they would have gotten away with that was by standing at the window, filming you guys. You didn’t see anything?” Ian asked. “I’ve got a little cabinet next to the window. Someone must have planted a camera on the cabinet, filming you. Then when you were asleep, they took the camera back. I don’t know. It sounds too perfect.”
Alfie rubbed at his eyes. “I can’t do this right now. I fucked up, but I never thought I’d lose her to this.”
“We’ll help you, man. We’ll get her back for you.”
He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he was more than willing to fight for it.
****
“I don’t want you losing Eagle because of me,” Chloe said as her mother entered. She sat on the bottom step, and it overlooked the doorway. She got another glance of Alfie, and he looked heartbroken.
She hated seeing him like this, but there was no way she could forgive this.
“I do.”
“No, Mom, you don’t. I’m not going to let you sacrifice your happiness for me or because of me. I love you too much to let you do something like this.”
“Sweetheart, it’s not your decision. This is mine, and you think I could stand to see you go after what happened?”
“You heard Alfie. It wasn’t Eagle.”
“I know, but I can’t do it. What would people think if I married him?”
“Who cares what people think?”
“I care what people think of you.” Lily put her shopping down and walked over to her, cupping her face. “Now, I know you don’t think all that much of yourself, and I don’t care. I really don’t because I love you, and I know how amazing, beautiful, sweet, and wonderful you really are. I love you more than anyone else in this world, and so, I’m not going to let a man or anything come between us.”
“Mom, you deserve to be happy.”
“And I will be.”
“You were falling for Eagle, don’t lie to me.”
“I was falling, yes, but I wasn’t there. I’m not going to budge on this. Now, did you do all of your school work?”
“Yes.”
“What are your plans?” Lily asked. “We’ve got your accommodation arranged. School is not far from graduation. You’ve done all your tests. It’s now just a formality.”
“After I graduate, I’m leaving town. Will you come with me? We can make a new life together away from here.”
“I wish I could, sweetie, but I’m going to stay here.”
“Mom?”
“No, listen to me, I love it here. Sure, it has some horrible people in it, but no matter where you go, you’ll find them, or they will find you. I love it here. I’m staying here.” Lily pressed a kiss to her cheeks. “Now, what next?”
Chloe told her mother of her plan to leave after graduation. She’d intended to stick around the summer to spend as much time with Alfie, but now her plans had changed. She wasn’t going to be in a town that pointed and laughed and mocked.
She was done.
This town was going to see the last of her, and she was never going to return.
Alfie had told her he loved her, and she really wished she could believe him.
“I think I was falling in love with him, Mom,” she said.
“I know, honey. You were. I could see it, and I’m so sorry he treated you this way.”
“I feel like everything I thought I knew is falling apart, and I don’t know anything anymore. Please, help me make it stop.”
Her mother couldn’t make it stop. All she could do was hold her, love her, and for now, it was the only thing that was going to be enough. She was never going to let another man do this to her.
She’d start a new life and never look back.
PART TWO
Chapter Twelve
Five years later
“I don’t think I should go on a date,” Chloe said, lifting up onto her toes and pushing some of the sauces around.
“What are you doing?” Lily asked.
“Looking for the soy sauce, I know I put it in this cupboard. I really need to go through everything, you know. I’ve got to move out in a couple of months, especially when I hand in my notice.”
As part of her culinary course, she’d been working on several of the restaurants that donated and supported key students and chefs. This was one of the first start-up culinary schools to offer this kind of program that not only trained students, taught them everything about food and management, but also supplied them with culinary scholarships at local delis, restaurants, and food chains.
Since leaving Satan’s Croft with her heart and reputation in tatters, she’d thrown herself into her work, and did what her mother asked, forgot about everything she once knew. In the past five years, her mother would travel to her, and they’d spend all the holidays and vacations together, and she didn’t have to go back to town.
This was all Lily’s choice, not her own.
Also, neither of them spoke about Eagle or Alfie.
She felt a little pain rush through her at the mere thought of Alfie. When it came to her mother, guilt was never far behind.
Lily always tried to put on a brave face, even though her love for Eagle was there, without any doubt at all.
“Do you have somewhere else to move to?” Lily asked.
“Not yet, but I’ve also been applying for a sous chef position at a couple of places. Demand is not really there, and the competition is fierce. I’ve heard several of the guys are doing the whole food blog thing, and I may have to consider it. People just don’t eat out anymore.” She shrugged. Her mother couldn’t see it. “For now, I’m the vegetable prepper, and at least I have a position, you know.”
“You want more though.”
“Yes. I do. Aha, soy sauce. Yum.” She quickly drizzled it over her vegetables in the stir-fry, and gave it a toss with a flick of her wrist. “Done.”
She didn’t bother with a bowl but took a mat to rest the pan on the surface, and started to eat the garlic and ginger vegetables she’d made.
“So, what were we talking about before we got into the soy sauce conundrum?” Lily asked.
“A date. One of the head chefs has asked me out on a date, and I’m not sure. He’s not the owner of the restaurant, but he’s kind of a big deal. I don’t know if I want to go on it.” It wasn’t like she was given much of a choice in the dating element with Reginald. He’d walked up to her as she was chopping, and pretty much told her they were going on a date. There was never a chance to dispute their potential date.
He was busy.
She didn’t want to bring it up at work, so that meant she was now only hours away from going on said date. This was one of the few days she had off, and she liked to spend it researching or talking to her mother.
“You’re not going to stand him up. You need to go out and date more.”
“Mom, me and dating, please.”
“You haven’t dated in five years, and this is the first time I’ve ever heard you talk about a guy.”
“There’s a reason for that. I’ve been focusing on my studies, you know that.” And she’d been suffering from a broken heart, and well, going out with any guy just didn’t appeal to her, not that thinking about Alfie helped.
She’d left Satan’s Croft and never returned. Sometimes she felt so alone in the big city. Then her mom would come and visit and everything would be magical again. She’d stop feeling sorry for herself and think about the future she had planned.
Alfie was a difficult subject for her to forget.
Even though her mother promised her no one talked about that dreadful night, she hadn’t been able to leave the house during the last month before graduation.
“Honey, I’m not stupid. You and I both know the reason you don’t date. I get it. I really do, but you’ve got to do something about this. You can’t spend your entire life judging other men because of him.”
“Is he still in town?” she asked.
“Yes, and he’s also a prospect now as well.”
“He is?”
“Yes. I don’t know how he earned his patch, but he did. As did Ian and Riley. I told you, I’ve got no reason to know anything more. I’ve seen their leather cuts. Alfie tries to talk to me, but I ignore him.”
“You’re being rude to him?” Chloe asked. “I know you hate being that way, and you shouldn’t be that way with him, or with anyone. It makes you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not going to lie, it does, but I can’t help it. I remember how sad and broken you looked.”
“Maybe I should come home. Face my fears,” Chloe said. The very thought of it turned her stomach.
Leaving Satan’s Croft was the best thing she ever did, and her mother never judged her for it.
“I can hear the panic in you, Chloe. You’re not ready. One day you’ll be ready, and when you are, I’ll be waiting for you.”
Chloe released a breath. “You should date Eagle. Is he seeing anyone?”
“No, he’s not seeing anyone, and well, the last time we spoke, it didn’t go well.”
“Mom?”
“No, I’m not telling you any of my business. You don’t need to worry or to know about it. I’m your mother, yes, but I also can have a life of my own. Now as your parent, I’m ordering you to go on this date. To be sensible and to also have fun.”
“You know those two things don’t go hand in hand.”
“You’re my daughter, and I know you’ll make it work.”
“Speaking of the whole parent thing, have you heard from him?” Kurt had been around a couple of times in the last five years, but from what Lily would tell her, nothing had come from it.
He wanted to get back together and he’d made the usual promises, but after everything that happened with Kurt, then with Eagle, her mother had sworn off men, all men, for a lifetime.
She personally felt it was a little too harsh, but again, this was her mother’s life, not hers, and there was nothing she could do to change Lily’s mind.
“No, sweetie. I’m sorry.”
During the time he’d been around, not once had Kurt asked about her, or paid any attention to her.
He’d ignored her very existence. She didn’t want to see him either, and it was childish of her to behave that way, but she wasn’t changing her mind.
“I better go. Get ready. I’ll send you a picture of what I look like.” She blew her mother a kiss, promised to talk soon, and hung up.
The stir-fried vegetables held no appeal anymore. She boxed them up and would probably eat them another day. She hated waste.
Her date wasn’t for a few hours, so she sat down on the sofa, picked up a good book, and tried to allow the time to pass, while also not thinking about Alfie.
He’d tried, and she’d left.
There were times she was flooded with regret when it came to him.
She had been falling for him, and he’d broken her heart.
“You’re not going to think about him. It was five years ago. Get over it already.” If she really regretted leaving him behind, she could have easily gotten a cab and gone home.
She’d been tempted to, but each time, she’d found herself just back where she started from.
Forgiving Alfie … could s
he do it?
He’d not taken and shown the video—that much she did know. And her mother had said about someone else filming it, Daniel, the guy he’d beaten up at school, but it had been too late. The video aside, Alfie’s initial intentions were what broke her heart. He’d been planning to hurt her, but she also knew, he had changed his mind. This was what made it so hard for her. The bully she had known was gone, and in his place stood a guy she had fallen for—but it had started out as a plan to hurt her even more. Ugh, this was so hard for her because she knew he was both kinds of guy, the good and the bad. She wanted to just forget about everything and move on. But how could she move on without him?
Running fingers through her hair, she pressed her face against her hands and wondered what the hell she was going to do. Her life wasn’t complicated here. She worked, read, and worked some more.
She still didn’t make friends easily, which was why she still lived alone and hadn’t been able to find a place with a roommate. It would be the only way she could afford anything anyway.
Going home for now was out of the question. She’d already made the decision that if she was to go home, she’d do so only when she’d made a success of her life so she could look back on what happened, and laugh.
There was no other way forward for her.
Had Alfie moved on?
He was still in Satan’s Croft, so he must have.
She’d not seen him in five years. Had the time been good for him? Bad?
“Just get that out of your head. Enough already.” She slammed the book closed and decided to get ready for her date.
****
Alfie lifted up the empty metal beer keg and loaded it up onto the truck. This was his job as prospect, doing all the heavy lifting.
“You’ve been lifting those weights for five years, and now it’s time to put your super muscles to the test.”