“There’s nothing to sort out, Craig,” Derrick said in a clear voice. “I’m going after that sonofabitch and he’s gonna pay for what he did to my mom…shit…and me.”
“Ok. Ok.”
“I mean shit, dude. He put us through hell the last ten years. Beating the shit outta us every chance he had, ya know? Then after mom died, however that actually happened, he runs out on me? Bastard. I’m gonna kill him!”
“Derrick, please,” Stacy said quietly.
“No. No, ‘Derrick, please.’ You know as well as Craig or Joan what he did. I bet he killed my mom, too. Hell. The police at the scene of the accident did say that there were lacerations on the brake lines, but then all of a sudden after crime lab brought the car in, they’re gone? I mean, shit. Not just the lacerations. The entire brake line itself was missing. How is that possible? I know that bastard had something to do with it. He does work for the police department and all.”
Stacy nodded with each. “I know, sweetie, but your dad wasn’t actually a cop. I mean, sure he worked for the police department, but he was a dispatcher. How in the world could he have had access to the car in the crime lab?”
“I don’t know. Yes, I know my dad wasn’t actually a cop. You don’t have to patronize me and make me feel like a dumbass like you have for four years. I know what my dad was. He probably had friends on the inside who removed the brake lines for him. Bastard. And don’t you get me started on how sneaky you are and how you’ve played with my heart for the past four fucking years. You know how much I like you, and you continue to shit all over me. You’re nothing but a selfish bitch.”
Craig’s eyes were as wide as saucers during Derrick’s outburst. He wasn’t sure if he should congratulate his friend or keep quiet. He chose to keep quiet. It was still relatively early and if they could get Derrick calmed down and Stacy back to her place, he and Joan could still go park somewhere and he could get a little sucky-sucky. He hoped, but didn’t count on it.
Damn this night to all hell, Craig thought.
“All right. Whatever, Derrick, you little prick. You’re gonna go this route then so am I. You wanna know why I came here tonight, huh? I felt sorry for your ass for all these years and figured that I’d finally let you feel me up or something. Maybe even slip a hand under my waistband or something. Shit. I for sure wasn’t gonna let you sleep with me, but I figured since you have been after me for so long and I’m going off to college in another month and a half, the least I could do was get some experience from one of my best friends so I wouldn’t be so inexperienced when I met the man of my dreams at school. But whatever, Derrick. Prick. Go be a newbie the rest of your life and see if I give a shit.”
Craig was floored. Sure, he knew that Derrick had the hots for her, but he never thought in a million-and-one years that Stacy would ever put out, in any fashion whatsoever, for him. Wow.
Joan, on the other hand, laid into her. “How dare you, Stacy! Our friend is in pain here. You’ve screwed with him for four years, were just being nice to him tonight after whatever happened, and now you’re gonna go off on him for what he said? You bitch. I would have said the same thing, but I would have called you a prick tease about three years and eleven months ago.”
Stacy jumped up and ran at Joan. At first, Craig thought about just standing by and watching them duke it out, but figured if he did and Joan did somehow manage to get her ass kicked, to which he thought was mostly impossible since she was one strong bitch physically and emotionally, he would never hear the end of it. So at the last possible second, he stepped in front of Joan, blocking Stacy’s path. He held her at arm’s length as she threw punch after looming punch. Some of them glanced off the side of his head, but most of them just went wild, missing both him and Joan completely. Finally he was able to catch one of Stacy’s wild throws and twisted her around, pinning her tiny fist to the middle of her back. He planted his knee at the back of hers and pushed her down onto the wet grass.
“Get off me, you sonofabitch,” Stacy snarled, spit flying out of her mouth.
“Quiet down.”
“NO! Get off me or I’ll yell rape.”
“You yell rape,” Joan barked, “and you’ll have more than Craig to deal with…you’ll have me on your ass, and you know I don’t take no shit.”
Craig knew that was the truth. He had tried for two years since they had started dating to get inside her pants, to feel her bare breasts, something, anything, but she was like a steel trap. Nothing was going to get through her defenses until she was damn good and ready. When that time would be, Craig had no idea, and the truth of the matter was, even though he still tried every once in a while, he knew it was no use and he couldn’t wait to go off to college so he could hunt down some older women, some easy college women, and really be able to give them their ol’ magic stick. Fucking prudes, the both of them, Craig thought, getting up and off the still-squirming Stacy to walk over to Derrick, leaning against the tree. During Stacy’s outburst, he hadn’t noticed his friend getting off the ground, but was glad to see he was now making some progress. Whatever Derrick thought he had seen by one of the headstones, Craig was going to be there for his friend in his time of need.
“All right, man,” Craig put an arm around Derrick. “Tell me the whole story and we’ll figure out what we’re gonna do, ok? You know I’ve always been there for ya and I’m sure as hell not going to be now just because of Stacy’s bitch-like outburst.”
“Thanks, man, that means a lot.”
“Hey, no problem. What are best friends for, right? Don’t worry about that dick tease, ok? We’ll gonna be college men in a little while and then we’ll have our choice of any pussy we want. You know how those college women are…they’ll give it up to anyone with a prick between their legs. And not to sound gay or nothin’ but I’ve seen both our pricks in the shower after gym class, not that I was staring or anything, and any girl would be lucky to have us.”
“Yeah,” Derrick sniffled, “I know. We’ll have a good time at State.”
“You’re goddamn right we will. So, shit…fuck that bitch and the little titty train she rode in on. I mean, shit, man, I know you’ve had the hots for her for years, but that tight cunt ain’t worth it. You took her to homecoming, and even to the prom and she couldn’t even give you a blowjob as a ‘thank you’? Fuck that. Even my tight-ass bitch of a girlfriend gave me a hummer.”
“She did?”
“Sure…wish I could get Stacy to give me a blow.”
“Dude, there you go again. Don’t fret about that bitch. You really believe her when she said that you were gonna get a little ‘touchy touchy’ tonight? HA! I wouldn’t believe a single word coming outta her mouth. Never did like her, anyway.”
“Huh, really? I thought you guys were friends, just like me and your girl are friends.”
“Nah. I just played along cause I knew you liked her, ya know? I never liked her much. Thought she was a tight-lipped cunt, no pun intended. Ha ha.”
“Ha ha. Yeah, that’s pretty funny, and oh so true.”
“Damn right, it’s true. Fuck her.”
“Yeah, fuck her.”
“That’s the spirit, man. Glad to see you acting like the Derrick I’ve always known.”
“Yeah. Thanks, man. You always know how to calm me down.”
“It’s all good, bro. What are best friends for, right?” Craig said. “Hold on a minute.” He walked back over to a large headstone with the name “Jameson” where they had originally set up their late-night liquid-picnic, grabbed two more beers out of the almost-melted ice, and walked back over to Derrick. He handed Derrick a beer. They both popped the can tops at the same time, said a small “cheers” and drank down a few long gulps. The beer was bitter but tasted cold and wonderful. Taking his eyes off the now-calm Derrick for a moment, Craig twisted around but couldn’t see Stacy and Joan anywhere. They had to still be around. A few shadows danced this way and that, and Craig guessed—hoped—two of the dark figures were Stacy and
Joan, maybe making out. Maybe Joan was telling Stacy to get the fuck out of the cemetery and to walk the two miles home. She damn well wouldn’t be getting back in his car after the way she had treated Derrick. And Joan, too.
Craig took another pull on his beer. “Ok, man. Tell me exactly what happened, scene by scene, and then we’ll figure out what the hell we’re gonna do. Ok?”
Derrick took another swig of his own beer.
“I’ve been here every single day since the funeral. Sometimes I walk around the place, looking at the trees or the names on some of the other headstones when I’m not over by my mom’s talking to her.”
“Right.”
“Anyway,” Derrick continued, “I was over there and the piss was just starting to flow when I saw these fucked-up shadows around my mom’s grave.”
“All right.”
“Shit’s flying out of my mom’s grave. I can’t tell what’s happening until I catch moonlight off a shovel blade. I’m thinking ‘what the fuck?’ right? I want to move in a little closer and see what the fuck is going on. It’s my mom’s grave for Christsake, ya know? But since I’m still watering the lawn, I can’t just creep on over there, so I start sidestepping over with my dick still in my hand, pissing as I go.”
“Nice going. Good trick to pull off.”
“Yeah, I know, thanks. Anyway. So, I’m sidestepping over there and as I get close I see that it is my fucking father! That freaks me the fuck out, man! The first time I see him since he ran out on me, he’s digging my mom’s grave up with some bum woman. What the fuck?”
“Sure. I didn’t see it and I’m thinking the same thing myself right now.” Literally. What the fuck is up with this shit?
“So, by this time I’m standing sorta behind a tree, still pissing, watching my dad digging at my mom’s grave and stop paying attention to where I’m pissing. I mean, this was a world-class beer piss that just kept going and going.”
“Evidently, yeah.”
“So, the stream of piss catches the flap of my jeans and I piss down my leg. That’s why I’m all wet. Not because I pissed my pants, which I guess I technically did.”
“I don’t blame you,” Craig said. “I would have probably pissed all over myself, too, man. Ha ha.”
“Yup. Anyway. So, I’m so shocked at what I’m seeing and now I’ve pissed myself that I forget about zipping up. That’s why I was still working the zipper as I was running back to you guys to tell you…”
“Gotcha. No worries.”
“Yeah, thanks, man. Anyway. So to make a long fucking story short, I stand there watching the whole time, and I see my dad dig a big fucking hole in the ground. I don’t know how long that took, but then he hauls my mom out of the ground and lays her on a big pile of dirt. Can you believe that shit! He digs up my mother and lays her on the fucking wet dirt! The bastard.”
“Jesus H. Christ, man.”
“Yup, you’re tellin’ me. The chick ran off, but he bends down and I think he’s gonna give her a kiss or some shit, but oh no…then he fucking bites her!”
“Goddamn, man. I’m sorry. Jesus, I really am. What happened then?”
“Then after chewing on my mom’s corpse for a while, which I was seeing pretty clear with the moon out from behind a cloud, he flops onto the ground.”
“What the hell was he doing, taking a fucking siesta after a big meal?”
“Fuck, I don’t know, man. But, he flops on the ground and at first it looks like he is going to sleep next to my dead mom or something. But then, oh then, he starts to fucking shake and shimmy likes he’s trying to make snow angels in the grass. His body is twitching like mad. I thought about running over, asking him where the fuck has he been, what the fuck is he doing to my mom, whatever, ya know, but I can’t. I’m fucking standing there, watching all and I’m like fucking glued to the ground.”
“Shit, man. I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine. Ya know, now that I think about it, guess you were gone for a fucking long time. I just thought you had to piss or maybe had the runs or something, not that I was gonna tell the girls that,” Craig said.
“Thanks, man. So, he’s twitching and then all of a sudden he starts growing right in front of my eyes. His fucking body is getting bigger, his legs bending and twisting at weird angles, he’s growing dark, long hair where there shouldn’t be any unless you’re a fucking monkey or something.”
“Geesh. Then what?”
“Then what? He starts running on two feet and then he’s down on all fours and he’s like galloping or something. Running. Running like a fucking dog or something. That’s when I realized that he wasn’t a dog or coyote or whatever.”
“Wait, when?”
“When he was about at the cemetery’s front gate and stopped for a second and howled at the fucking moon!”
“So, you’re saying what exactly?” Craig asked and then drained the last few gulps of beer from his can.
Derrick took a deep breath, upended his own can, letting the cold, amber liquid flow down his throat. “He’s a fucking werewolf, man.”
“Uhhh…”
“Oh, yeah, and I’m gonna hunt his sorry ass down and kill him.”
“Well, shit, what can I say? If you saw what you saw, then you’re probably right by choosing to hunt him down. I mean, he really stuck it to you and all. Then he digs up his wife, your mom, bites her and then turns into a fucking werewolf? Jesus.”
“Doesn’t make a lot of sense. Actually, now that I’ve seen what I’ve seen and said it out loud, a lot of things don’t make sense. Including the mystery around the car crash. Fucking shit, man…”
“Wh…what?”
“What if this whole fucking thing was a cover-up and everything and my mom never died in a car crash. What if she was killed by another werewolf. I mean, that is the only way this whole thing makes sense. Maybe the local authorities are trying to cover up some conspiracy of a gang of werewolves running around so the townsfolk don’t start freaking out or something.”
“I guess,” Craig shook his head. “The whole fucking thing doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. But, hey, man, I’m with ya no matter what. You need me to come with you and hunt down this werewolf, your dad, whatever the hell he is now, I’m there for ya.”
“Thanks. Means a lot, ya know?”
“Hey, like I said a million times to you, what are friends for?”
“True dat,” Derrick said in his best black guy impression.
Craig laughed and then said, “But there’s one thing we gonna do first before we start driving all over town looking for a fucking werewolf.”
“What’s that?”
“We gotta find the girls and take them home, especially Stacy. That is one crazy bitch, and I’m not gonna put up with her bitching all night about shit. Oh, and it’s probably a good idea to take Joan home, too. She’s a tough chick and all, but I don’t think she’d be up for hunting a werewolf. Then we’ll swoop by my parents’ place and pick up a few of my dad’s rifles. Can’t hurt, ya know? I don’t think he has silver bullets or whatever, but havin’ somethin’ is better than nothin’.”
“I agree. All right, let’s get the girls and then get the hell outta here.”
“You got it,” Craig said, as they started walking back to the Jameson headstone.
Next to the cooler full of melted ice and floating beers, they found two bloody, naked, torn-apart girls. They were each missing a few of their limbs and had gaping, raw holes where their taut stomachs had been.
Craig and Derrick screamed.
In the dark confines of the cemetery, something answered with a howl.
Chapter Four
After several silent minutes regaining his composure, Derrick said, “He must have quit chasing that chick I saw him with and circled back around. Maybe he jumped over the fence or found another way inside, snuck up on them and slaughtered them both.”
“Evidently. Shit. I’ve never seen so much blood and guts in all my life. Look at their insides. They’ve bee
n ripped out and thrown all over the place. You must be right, though. He must have found another way in. There’s no way he could have come through the front gate. No way at all. He would have had to pass right by us. Then again, it is pretty fucking dark in this shitty place, and if he is as dark and hairy as you were leading on, he could have stayed in the shadows or slinked from headstone to headstone and we would have never seen him. Shitfire. The girls probably didn’t have a chance. Obviously they had to be snuck up on. Hell, we didn’t even hear one of them scream or anything.” Craig took a deep breath. The coppery smell coming off the fresh carnage burnt the hairs on the inside of his nose. He coughed a few times and spit a wad of phlegm onto the ground. It landed with a quiet splat.
“Yeah,” Derrick said, “I think you’re right, man. There’s no way in hell that he could have walked or crawled or whatever right by us. Shit. He probably could have taken us out first if he wanted to.”
A troubling thought passed through Craig’s mind, but he wasn’t sure if he should say it, not knowing if Derrick was going to be able to handle it. Hell, he wasn’t sure if he could handle much more shitty stuff happening in one night.
Craig was still staring at the bloody remains laid out in front of them, snapping out of it when he heard Derrick’s voice.
“Huh, what? Sorry, man. Just thinking. What’d you say?”
“I asked what you’re thinking about.”
“Just about tonight.”
“Duh.”
“No, seriously. This is really jacked up, ya know.”
“No kiddin’.”
“Really. Okay, okay, if you really wanna know what I was thinking just now I will tell you. But you have to promise me that you won’t lose it or nothin’.”
“Uhhh… Well, first, there is no way I can promise you that I won’t lose it unless I hear it first. I mean, if it is something really fucked up, how wouldn’t I, right?”
“Shit. Yeah, I guess you’re right…”
“Ok. So? Just tell me and get it over with. When you think about it, there’s not much you could say right now that could make matters worse. For one, we are drinking underage while trespassing. Two, I just saw my father dig up my mom, bite her, and turn into a fucking werewolf. Three, we’re standing in front of two bloody bodies. Shit, man, I can’t believe you’re not more messed up than you seem. See? So just spit it out so we can figure out how to handle this fucking mess.”
Grave Intentions Page 3