by London Casey
“I’ll keep that in mind, Cole.”
“Rest up, love,” he said.
He hung up.
“Rest up, love,” I mimicked.
When Bev returned from the store, she tossed me the bag and gave me privacy.
I opened the pregnancy test as I sat on my bed.
I read the instructions like I was building a rocket ship to Mars.
It was kind of easy to figure out.
Pee.
Wait.
And then…
I went in the bathroom and squatted over the pregnancy test.
There were a lot of things I never thought I would do in the morning when it came to Cole.
But this?
This was never on my radar.
And he was sitting at his big, fancy desk, probably hungover from the night before. Thinking about the drinks he had. The woman he took home.
What was I doing?
I finished and stood up.
The bathroom was small, but I found a way to pace.
When I started to feel dizzy from turning so quick, so often, I faced the shower curtain and closed my eyes.
I pictured the beach.
That did nothing.
I chewed on my fingernails.
They were already chewed down.
I opened my eyes.
I slowly turned.
I skipped my reflection in the mirror and looked down to the sink.
There it was… balanced on the edge of the bathroom sink…
“Fuck,” I whispered.
The pregnancy test was positive.
Chapter Eighteen
Cole
I worked late and caught myself swinging by Maya’s office a few times, as though she was there. My late nights were her late nights. Without her around, I had to dig through emails and files on my own.
We were in the mid-stages of Mr. Pickle finalizing the deal.
Yeah, it was in the hands of the lawyers, but I wanted to make sure it was all perfect. That meant triple checking our figures. It meant looking into any possible legal issues that could pop up. It meant finding shitty assets that I could try to get rid of, or at the very least, have an explanation for.
Maya wasn’t in her office.
I spotted the cleaning crew and gave a wave.
“This office here,” I said. “Make sure it’s extra clean. Okay? She’s been out sick a couple days. Want to make sure nothing is lingering when she comes back.”
The gentleman nodded to me.
Honestly, I had no idea what the hell I just said or if it made any sense.
I went back to my office and helped myself to a glass of whiskey.
There was a temptation to check on Maya.
Shoot her a text, just to be nice.
But I couldn’t send the wrong signals to her.
In fact, I should have just fired her after that night together.
Keeping her around was a big mistake.
Right now, there wasn’t a thing I could do.
I had to hold on until this deal went through.
Then I could be done with it all.
For years I wanted to be the boss. I finally got there. And now I was looking for my ticket out.
The guys would laugh at me and say typical Cole.
I had a way of wanting something, working to get it, and then getting bored with it really quick.
Whether it was a career, business, or women, that was just my style.
Soon enough, someone else would catch my attention and Maya would fade away for good.
It wasn’t like I was going to be near her forever.
The next morning, I saw Maya at her desk.
I opened the door and put my tie to my mouth.
“Is it safe to breathe in here?” I asked.
She looked at me and looked ready to cry. “Really?”
“I’m being serious,” I said. “Are you okay today?”
“Just perfect,” she said. “Did you miss me?”
I moved my hand and fixed my tie. “Not so much. Didn’t even know you were gone.”
“Cole, we need to talk about something,” she said.
“I’m sure we do,” I said. “Look at that pile on your desk. I need you to get through all of that as soon as possible. There’s been a lot happening in the last two days. We don’t take days off here, Maya.”
“Next time I’ll just throw up all over the desk and floor?”
“Whatever it takes,” I said. “Now is not the time to fuck things up.”
“Thanks,” she said. “I guess I’ll get to work.”
“That’s the spirit,” I said. “Oh, by the way, I need a coffee. And I wouldn’t mind one of those bagel with egg sandwiches from that corner spot. I’ll send you money. Get something to eat too. You look a little pale and tired. Perk up.”
I exited her office and by the time I got to my office, the phone was ringing.
“Miss me so soon?” I asked Maya as I answered her call.
“You have a call again, Cole,” she said.
“From?”
“Mr. Clitlick.”
“What was that?” I asked.
“You heard me,” she said. “It’s your brother. Can you just tell him who I am?”
“You’re moody today.”
“Sending the call to you.”
Maya transferred Cody to me.
“Brother,” Cody said.
“Clitlick?” I asked.
He laughed. “Good one, huh?”
“Are you drunk?”
“No. Too early to drink.”
“You’re high.”
“Who isn’t?” Cody asked. “You are too. In your skyscraper office.”
“Cody, I thought you were doing better.”
“I am. I hurt my ankle. I have to take pills now.”
“You hurt your ankle? How bad?”
“Bad enough to get pills,” he said with the click of his tongue.
“Did you pay your debts off?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah. They were thrilled. I appreciate the cash, Cole. I’ll get it back to you.”
“No. You don’t have to do that.”
“I do. I have a thing coming up…”
“A thing?”
“Look, you might not like it, but I’m decent at gambling.”
“Cody. Stop.”
“Fuck, Cole, just listen to me. I’m in this thing where I can win some serious cash.”
“And if you don’t win, then what? Am I going to have to pay someone off?”
“Wow. Thanks for the confidence. As always. I’m just the fuck up, right?”
“Cody, I need you to hear me right now. I’m going to tell you something I shouldn’t. Okay?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“I’ve got something big working here. I can’t have anything mess it up. This is serious stuff here.”
“Oh, you don’t want your fuck up of a brother to end up in the news?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You meant it that way.”
“What do you want me to say. Tell you what… let me send you some money. Fly out to Oregon or Washington. Go hide out in the woods, in a cabin, and just chill out. Stop worrying about so much, Cody. Take a woman with you. Take a guitar or some painting stuff, I don’t know.”
“You want to pay me off to shut the fuck up,” Cody said. “There’s family love.”
“You’re taking things out of context.”
“No, I’m not. I’m saying it the way you won’t. You don’t have the balls to say it, Cole.”
“I think we know the truth here,” I said. “My phone rings when you want money.”
“Maybe I should go steal a car and crash it. And then run from the cops. All the while screaming that you’re my brother. How would that work for you?”
“Fuck you, Cody,” I said.
I slammed the phone down.
I ground my teeth and wanted to punch a hole in the wall.
That
was typical Cody.
Getting messed up on pills and causing problems for everyone.
I walked around my desk and Maya appeared in the doorway.
I pointed to her.
“Cole…”
“Where’s my coffee?” I barked. “What the hell are you doing here if you’re not going to work? Go home if you’re sick. And then stay there. I don’t have time for weakness right now.”
The words were cruel and they weren’t meant for Maya.
But sometimes that’s how it went.
Normally she just listened, turned red, and did what she was told.
Today, she burst into tears.
I sat in my chair and Maya put my coffee and bagel sandwich down in front of me.
“Did you get something for yourself?” I asked.
“No,” she said.
I had no choice but to look at her.
Her eyes were puffy and red.
Fuck. She’s been crying for a bit.
“That’s on you then,” I said. “We have work to do now. I have a meeting with Mr. Pickle tomorrow and I want to show him all of our functioning assets. I want to make sure he sees the non-performing ones too, with a plan on what we’re going to do with them.”
“Of course,” Maya said. “Anything you need.”
“Good. Now go.”
I hated myself for still snapping at her.
But I couldn’t let myself slip.
One night in a cabin after some drinks wasn’t going to dictate the rest of my life.
When Maya got to the office door, she paused and looked back.
“I do have something to talk to you about,” she said.
“Does it have anything to do with this deal I’ve been killing myself for?” I asked.
“No.”
“Then I don’t want to hear about it. If you’re quitting, just go. I’ll write you a letter of recommendation.”
Maya hurried away.
I figured she was probably crying again.
I told myself to care, but I forced myself not to.
We worked the rest of the day apart from each other, except phone calls, and when Maya brought me files that I needed.
Something was off about her and it wasn’t my business to ask.
She was too emotional, and if it was just a bad day, that was fine, but if it kept up, I was going to have to let her go.
I went for a walk at one point in the day to clear my head.
As I passed by Maya’s office, I saw her standing at the window, biting the nails of her right hand. She was crying again.
I reached for the door handle and stopped myself.
Something had happened. Obviously.
It had nothing to do with me so that meant it wasn’t my business.
There was a lot of work on her desk still, and I could have easily been a really big dick to her and knock on the glass to scare her and point to her desk.
But I gave her a break.
I went for my walk around the office.
The deal with Mr. Pickle was right there. It was in my hand and all I had to do was close it.
There was zero reason for me to feel anything but excitement at that point.
Yeah, I thought about Cody. A little. Chances were he was going to stay high, pass out, and sleep for days. That’s what he did. I couldn’t fix him. It wasn’t my job to fix him either. It also wasn’t my job to give him money the way I did, and at some point I knew I’d have to stop. But, right now, I had to take care of myself.
Which I was.
I returned back to my office, my thoughts of Cody gone. My thoughts of Maya gone. My thoughts of anything fucking up this deal gone.
I poured myself a drink because it was almost one in the afternoon.
A deep breath and a good drink could ease a lot of things.
I noticed my desk had a bright green folder on it.
With a sticky note from Maya on the front.
Please open me.
I hooked my finger and flipped the folder open.
I figured this was her creative way of quitting.
Hell, maybe she wrote me a story. About how much of a piece of shit boss I was.
That would only make me laugh.
Inside the folder was a single piece of paper with another note from Maya.
In black marker… in bold letters…
I’m pregnant - it’s yours.
Chapter Nineteen
Maya
All I could do was stand at my desk and wait.
Believe me, this was not the way I wanted to tell Cole I was pregnant.
This was not the way I wanted to tell anyone I was pregnant. Because I shouldn’t have been pregnant. Not by Cole. Not by anyone.
Getting pregnant should have been a celebration.
I should have been happy and excited to tell my significant other about it.
Instead, I stood there at my desk, my nerves bouncing, wondering what was going to happen.
I touched my stomach a few times, telling myself to calm down. No matter what happened, I was pregnant. Panic and stress would only hurt me and the baby.
Me and the baby.
I was already thinking in terms of us.
That us was scary.
I wasn’t alone. I would never be alone.
Everything had suddenly changed.
All because of one night…
I crawled back to that night in my memory.
I had to sift aside the way Cole looked at me, touched me and kissed me. I had to push away the feeling of his tongue between my legs and the thickness of his-
“Stop,” I whispered.
The fact of the matter was that we didn’t use protection and now I was pregnant.
I left the folder on his desk five minutes ago.
I looked at my cellphone.
Nope. Make that six minutes ago.
With my luck, Cole wouldn’t see it for hours. Or maybe he’d just push the folder aside.
Or maybe…
Shit, here he comes.
Cole moved rapidly toward my open office door.
His hands in his pockets.
Stopping two steps into my office.
His face was serious. Gorgeous and serious.
If I gave birth to a baby boy, he was going to be gorgeous like his father. And if it was a little girl, I hoped she grabbed some of her father’s genes but had my girlish face.
Cole stared at me.
I stared back.
My heart raced faster by the second.
He didn’t speak a word, but he looked down at my stomach.
I counted the seconds he stared.
One Mississippi.
Two Mississippi.
Three Missi-
His eyes moved to mine.
I nodded.
Yes, Cole, it’s true. I’m pregnant. It’s yours. I have not had sex with anyone except you. Trust me. The dry spell I had before you and me in the cabin was so bad that the weather app on my phone warned of a drought. And since that night in the cabin, there’s been nobody. Just your memory.
I put my hand to my stomach.
I’m pregnant, Cole.
We’re pregnant.
You’re the father.
I’m the mother, obviously.
We did this together.
When the moment came for Cole to say something, he didn’t.
Instead, he walked away.
He left the office for the day.
I had a rule when it came to Cole.
Well, many rules, but this one pertained to right now.
If Cole left, so did I.
Bad enough there were too many mornings that started out with me getting there early, before him.
Today was different in many ways.
I told him I was pregnant, then he left.
Cole never left the office.
But today he did.
Why?
Shock? Disappointment? Anger? Hate?
Or maybe he was with
his lawyer, trying to figure out what to do about the baby. And me.
What was he going to do… offer me money to vanish?
How much…
I grabbed my bag and walked to his office just to be sure he was gone.
I saw the folder on his desk.
I needed to get his attention one way or another.
He thought I was sick or faking sick to quit.
Nope.
It was just morning sickness.
The feeling I had in my stomach as I walked to the elevators was different than the morning sickness.
That feeling stuck with me the entire ride home.
When I opened the door, Bev stood at her computer, clicking her tongue.
She looked at me and pointed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re never home this early,” she said. “What happened? Did you talk to him? What did he say? Tell me he’s not going to be some… cockhead… about this?”
“Bev. Not right now.”
“Yes, right now.”
I shut the door and touched my stomach. “I don’t feel well.”
“Oh, no. Morning sickness all day? That’s the worst. I had a friend who had that. She would throw up morning, noon, and night. And it went into the third trimester.”
“That’s comforting,” I said.
“Yeah, I shouldn’t have said that. Hey, really quick, are carrots funny?”
“What?”
“I had this dream about carrots last night. And I was laughing in the dream. I want to do something with it.”
“How about… orange you glad to see me?” I asked. “Two carrots talking?”
Bev shook her head. “No good. I was thinking of a carrot in the ground yelling for help. Like, it’s stuck. Or… someone pulling the carrot out of the ground. Like the carrot can feel pain…” Bev snapped her fingers. “A sex shirt!”
“What?” I asked.
“Yeah. The one carrot pulls the other carrot’s hair. Like a sex thing… get it? I need some kind of text. Like keep pulling my hair and I’ll come… out of the ground…”
Bev laughed and clapped her hands.
Hey, if that made her happy, then so be it.
I crept through the apartment as Bev talked to the computer screen.
I pinched my nose at the smell of the ink.
When I got to my bedroom, I tossed my bag to the bed and let out a long sigh.