Witches Abroad

Home > Other > Witches Abroad > Page 38
Witches Abroad Page 38

by Terry Pratchett

Page 38

 

  Magrat!

  One of the sisters reached out. Magrat shuddered.

  The snake sister opened its mouth.

  Then Magrat looked up and, almost dreamily, punched it so hard that it was carried several feet along the passage.

  It wasnt a blow that featured in any Way or Path. No-one ever drew this one as a diagram or practised it in front of a mirror with a bandage tied round their head. It was straight out of the lexicon of inherited, terrified survival reflexes.

  Use the wand! shouted Nanny, darting forward. Dont ninj at them! Use the wand! Thats what its for!

  The other snake instinctively turned to follow the movement, which is why instinct is not always the keynote to survival, because Magrat clubbed it on the back of the head. With the wand. It sagged, losing shape as it fell.

  The trouble with witches is that theyll never run away from things they really hate.

  And the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of thems a mongoose.

  Granny Weatherwax had always wondered: what was supposed to be so special about a full moon? It was only a big circle of light. And the dark of the moon was only darkness.

  But half-way between the two, when the moon was between the worlds of light and dark, when even the moon lived on the edge . . . maybe then a witch could believe in the moon.

  Now a half-moon sailed above the mists of the swamp.

  Lilys nest of mirrors reflected the cold light, as they reflected everything else. Leaning against the wall were the three broom-sticks.

  Granny picked up hers. She wasnt wearing the right colour and she wasnt wearing a hat; she needed something she was at home with.

  Nothing moved.

  Lily? said Granny softly.

  Her own image looked out at her from the mirrors.

  It can all stop now, said Granny. You could take my stick and Ill take Magrats. She can always share with Gytha. And Mrs Gogol wont come after you. Ive fixed that. And we could do with more witches back home. And no more godmothering. No more getting people killed so their daughters are ready to be in a story. I know thats why you did it. Come on home. Its an offer you cant refuse.

  The mirror slid back noiselessly.

  Youre trying to be kind to me? said Lily.

  Dont think it dont take a lot of effort, said Granny in a more normal voice.

  Lilys dress rustled in the darkness as she stepped out.

  So, she said, y°u beat the swamp woman.

  No.

  But youre here instead of her.

  Yes.

  Lily took the stick out of Grannys hands, and inspected it.

  Never used one of these things, she said. You just sit on it and away you go?

  With this one you have to be running quite fast before it takes off, said Granny, but thats the general idea, yes.

  Hmm. Do you know the symbology of the broomstick? said Lily.

  Is it anything to do with maypoles and folksongs and suchlike? said Granny.

  Oh, yes.

  Then I dont want to hear about it.

  No, said Lily. I imagine you dont.

  She handed the stick back.

  Im staying here, she said. Mrs Gogol may have come up with a new trick, but that doesnt mean she has won.

  No. Things have come to an end, see, said Granny. Thats how it works when you turn the world into stories. You should never have done that. You shouldnt turn the world into stories. You shouldnt treat people like they was characters, like they was things. But if you do, then youve got to know when the story ends.

  Youve got to put on your red-hot shoes and dance the night away? said Lily.

  Somethin like that, yes.

  While everyone else lives happily ever after?

  I dont know about that, said Granny. Thats up to them. What Im sayin is, youre not allowed to go round one more time. Youve lost.

  You know a Weatherwax never loses, said Lily.

  One of em learns tonight, said Granny.

  But were outside the stories, said Lily. Me because I . . . am the medium through which they happen, and you because you fight them. Were the ones in the middle. The free ones -

  There was a sound behind them. The faces of Magrat and Nanny Ogg appeared over the top of the stairwell.

  You need any help, Esme? said Nanny cautiously.

  Lily laughed.

  Heres your little snakes, Esme.

  You know, she added, youre really just like me. Dont you know that? There isnt a thought thats gone through my head that you havent thought, too. There isnt a deed Ive done that you havent contemplated. But you never found the courage. Thats the difference between people like me and people like you. We have the courage to do what you only dream of.

  Yes? said Granny. Is that what you think? You think I dream?

  Lily moved a finger. Magrat floated up out of the stairwell, struggling. She waved her wand frantically.

  Thats what I like to see, said Lily. People wishing. I never wished for anything in my life. I always made things happen. So much more rewarding.

  Magrat gritted her teeth.

  Im sure I wouldnt look good as a pumpkin, dear, said Lily. She waved a hand airily. Magrat rose.

  Youd be surprised at the things I can do, said Lily dreamily, as the younger witch drifted smoothly over the flagstones. You should have tried mirrors yourself, Esme. It does wonders for a soul. I only let the swamp woman survive because her hate was invigorating. I do like being hated, you know. And you do know. Its a kind of respect. It shows youre having an effect. Its like a cold bath on a hot day. When stupid people find themselves powerless, when they fume in their futility, when theyre beaten and theyve got nothing but that yawning in the acid pit of their stomachs - well, to be honest, its like a prayer. And the stories . . . to ride on stories . . . to borrow the strength of them . . . the comfort of them . . . to be in the hidden centre of them . . . Can you understand that? The sheer pleasure of seeing the patterns repeat themselves? Ive always loved a pattern. Incidentally, if the Ogg woman continues to try to sneak up behind me I shall really let your young friend drift out over the courtyard and then, Esme, I might just lose interest.

  I was just walkin about, said Nanny. No law against it.

  You changed the story your way, and now Im going to do it mine, said Lily. And once again . . . all you have to do is go. Just go away. What happens here doesnt matter. Its a city far away of which you know little. Im not totally certain I could out-trick you, she added, but these two . . . they havent got the right stuff in them. I could make jam of them. I hope you know that. So tonight, I suggest, a Weatherwax learns to lose?

  Granny stood silent for a while, leaning on her useless broom.

  All right. Put her down, she said. And then Ill say youve won.

  I wish I could believe that, said Lily. Oh . . . but youre the nice one, arent you? You have to keep your word.

  Watch me, said Granny. She walked to the parapet and looked down. The two-faced moon was still bright enough to illuminate the billowing fogs that surrounded the palace like a sea.

  Magrat? Gytha? she said. Sorry about this. Youve won, Lily. There aint nothing I can do.

  She jumped.

  Nanny Ogg rushed forward and stared over the edge, just in time to see a dim figure vanish in the mists.

  All three figures left on the tower took a deep breath.

  Its a trick, said Lily, to get me off guard.

  It isnt! screamed Magrat, dropping to the stones.

  She had her broomstick, said Lily.

  It dont work! It wont start! shouted Nanny. Right, she said, menacingly, striding towards the slim shape of Lily. Well soon wipe that smug look off your face -

  She halted as silver pain shot through her body.

  Lily laughed.

  Its true, then? she said. Yes. I can see it in your faces. Esme was bright enough to know she couldnt win. Dont
be stupid. And dont point that silly wand at me, Miss Garlick. Old Desiderata would have defeated me long ago if she could. People have no understanding.

  We ought to go down there," said Magrat. She might be lying there -

  Thats it. Be good. Its what youre good at, said Lily, as they ran to the stairwell.

  But well be back, snarled Nanny Ogg. Even if we have to live in the swamp with Mrs Gogol and eat snakes heads!

  Of course, said Lily, arching an eyebrow. Thats what I said. One needs people like you around. Otherwise one is never quite sure one is still working. Its a way of keeping score.

  She watched them disappear down the steps.

  A wind blew over the tower. Lily gathered up her skirts and walked to the end, where she could see the shreds of mist streaming over the rooftops far below. There were the faint strains of music from the distant carnival dance as it wound its way through the streets.

  It would soon be midnight. Proper midnight, not some cut-price version caused by an old woman crawling around in a clock.

  Lily tried to see through the murk to the bottom of the tower.

  Really, Esme, she murmured, you did take losing hard.

  Nanny reached out and restrained Magrat as they ran down the spiral stairs.

  Slow down a bit, I should, she said.

  But she could be hurt -!

  So could you, if you trip. Anyway, said Nanny, I dont reckon Esme is lyin in a crumpled heap somewhere. Thats not the way shed go. I reckon she did it just to make sure Lily forgot about us and wouldnt try anything on us. I reckon she thought we were - what was that Tsortean bloke who could only be wounded if you hit im in the right place? No-one ever beat im until they found out about it. His knee, I think it was. Were her Tsortean knee, right?

  But we know you have to run really fast to get her broomstick going! shouted Magrat.

  Yeah, I know, said Nanny. Thats what I thought. And now Im thinking. . . how fast do you go when youre dropping? I mean, straight down?

  I. . . dont know, said Magrat.

  I reckon Esme thought it was worth findin out, said Nanny. Thats what I reckon.

  A figure appeared around the bend in the stairs, plodding upwards. They stood aside politely to let it pass.

  Wish I could remember what bit of him you had to hit, Nanny said. Thats going to be nagging at me all night, now.

  THE HEEL.

  Right? Oh, thanks.

  ANY TIME.

  The figure continued onwards and upwards.

  He had a good mask on, didnt he, said Magrat, eventually.

  She and Nanny sought confirmation in each others face.

  Magrat went pale. She looked up the stairs.

  I think we should run back up and - she began.

  Nanny Ogg was much older. I think we should walk, she said.

  Lady Volentia DArrangement sat in the rose garden under the big tower and blew her nose.

  Shed been waiting for half an hour and shed had enough.

  Shed hoped for a romantic tete-a-tete: hed seemed such a nice man, sort of eager and shy at the same time. Instead, shed nearly been hit on the head when an old woman on a broom and wearing what looked, as far as she could see through the blur of speed, like Lady Volentias own dress, had screamed down out of the mist. Her boots had ploughed through the roses before the curve of her flight took her up again.

  And some filthy smelly tomcat kept brushing up against her legs.

  And it had started off as such a nice evening . . .

  ullo, your Ladyship?

  She looked around at the bushes.

  My names Casanunda," said a hopeful voice.

  Lily Weatherwax turned when she heard the tinkle of glass from within the maze of mirrors.

  Her brow wrinkled. She ran across the flagstones and opened the door into the mirror world.

 

‹ Prev