by Nick Poff
It was sprinkling as he set out for Mrs. Penfield’s, and officially raining as he pulled into her driveway.
“Oh, great,” he said, slamming the truck door. “I get to haul groceries in the rain today.”
He trotted to the back door, trying to dodge the cold drops. Mrs. Penfield immediately answered his impatient knock.
“Weather got you down, Ed?” she asked archly, always an expert at discerning his moods.
“Yeah,” Ed muttered, inspecting the refrigerator. He quickly found the problem, an evaporation motor gone bad. “I’ll stop by Ripley’s Appliance when I’m through with Mrs. Heston. They’re pretty good about letting me raid their parts department. I’m sure they’ll have a replacement motor. I’ll try to get it installed before lunch. Don’t worry about your food. I know it’s not very cold in there, but it’ll keep for a few more hours.”
Mrs. Penfield beamed at him. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Ed. Thanks so much for taking care of this for me.”
Ed felt his first smile of the day creep onto his face. It was good to be appreciated.
“How is your Rick these days?” she asked, handing him a mug of tea. Ed, who disliked coffee, found tea an acceptable substitution.
“Your guess is as good as mine.” He sipped the comfortingly hot beverage. “I haven’t seen much of him. I s’pose this is one of those times when I have to be strong, like you said. Between families and jobs, we can’t seem to connect these days.”
Mrs. Penfield slowly lowered herself to a kitchen chair. “Don’t worry about it too much. You’re still at the beginning, and it takes a while to establish patterns for the holidays. Also,” she said with a twinkle in her eye, “you’re still in the wonderful phase of feeling that every separation is an eternity. That will pass soon enough, so enjoy the feeling while it lasts.”
Ed sighed. “I know. I’ve told myself that. Actually, I was invited to Indianapolis for Thanksgiving, but I decided Mom’s orbit had been rocked enough already without me leaving town over a family holiday.”
“Ah, so she’s aware of your relationship with Rick,” Mrs. Penfield said, obviously pleased. “I’m glad. That’s one less burden for you.”
“Yeah. She’s being pretty cool about it, considering,” Ed said gratefully, “but I didn’t want to make a big deal over Thanksgiving while she’s still getting used to the whole thing. Besides, Laurie would have killed me. I had to spend the day sending Mom and Mrs. Ames to their corners. Mom’s hated her since she told a few of her snob friends that she thought Todd and Laurie’s wedding was tacky.”
Mrs. Penfield rolled her eyes heavenward. “Eunice Ames. Such a dreadful social climber. The years she spent on the school board were among my most difficult at Porterfield High. I sympathize completely with Norma. We won’t even discuss the grief she routinely gave George about legal matters,” she said, referring to her late husband’s law practice. “I’m just glad to see you don’t seem to be incurring any in-law problems.”
“Oh, no. As I said, Mom’s being great for Mom, and the Bentons want to meet me. They’re teachers, too, by the way. Oh,” Ed said, putting down his mug. “I forgot. Rick wanted me to thank you for those books. He’d like to meet you sometime.”
“I’d like that,” Mrs. Penfield said with a smile. “I understand this is a busy time of the year, but if the two of you can spare some time, do stop by before Christmas.”
“I’ll try.” Ed looked at his watch. “Right now, though, I have a date with Mrs. Heston and a grocery list.”
Mrs. Heston’s grocery list for the week was thankfully short, and she spent their time together repeatedly thanking Ed for his chauffeuring duties over the weekend, which went far in relieving his bad mood. He managed to install Mrs. Penfield’s new refrigerator motor before lunch and was home in time to meet Rick as usual.
“Oh, I needed that,” Rick whispered after an extended kiss just inside Ed’s front door. “Although I sometimes wonder if the people who live east of you on Coleman Street wonder why their mail seems to be arriving later than it used to.”
“Let ’em wait,” Ed said heartlessly. “I don’t get to see nearly enough of you.”
“Hell,” Rick said, chuckling. “I don’t even have any mail for you today.”
Ed was so pleased to be this close to Rick, he found himself acting a bit more aggressively than he usually allowed himself to be at that time of day.
Rick moaned happily in response, but said, “Aw, c’mon, baby. Cut that out. I love it, but I don’t want to finish my route with a hard-on.”
“Well, let me finish what I started, and believe me, that hard-on will be gone before you leave the house.”
Rick sighed. “I wish.”
Ed reluctantly let Rick go. “Ah, don’t worry about it. Just come back tonight and we can do whatever we want. Think of it as a coming attraction.”
Rick looked troubled. “Uh, baby . . . I can’t come over tonight. I promised Claire I’d stay with the kids while she goes to a birthday party for the other dental hygienist at the office.” He pulled Ed back to him. “Tomorrow night?”
“Absolutely,” Ed said, trying hard not to look disappointed.
Rick adjusted the bag on his shoulder. “I’ll call you tonight after the kids are in bed. We’ll make some plans for tomorrow, okay?”
Ed nodded. Rick turned to leave, then stopped and turned back to Ed, kissing him. “I love you, baby.”
Ed kissed him back. “I love you, too.” He slapped Rick’s ass. “Now go back to work before I do something we’ll both regret.”
Ed paused at the door as he did most every day, watching Rick resume his mail route, shoulders hunched a bit in the drizzle. Ed knew he was being childish, but he found himself resenting three children across town. He suspected that his gratitude at having Rick in his life was becoming tinged with greed. Now that he and Rick were established, he wanted Rick all to himself.
The past month had been among the finest in his life, but he couldn’t help wanting more than Rick could offer at this time. Ed stopped that train of thought and began to mentally count his blessings. He had found the man of his dreams, not in San Francisco or New York or some other glamorous city, but right here in Porterfield, Indiana, population nine thousand, and literally right on his doorstep. Not only was the man of his dreams as crazy about Ed as Ed was about him, but Rick was warm, kind, funny, and smart, not to mention a handsome man, a great kisser, and an even better lover. Rick took his job responsibilities seriously, and was equally responsible when it came to his sister and her three children. Ed did not need to be told how rare that was in any man, let alone a gay one.
Ed sighed, the lyrics of Chicago’s melancholy “Wishing You Were Here” going through his mind. He imagined Rick instead of Peter Cetera singing about being away from home because of a job he had to do.
“I’m a pig,” Ed whispered to himself. “I’ve been handed the biggest dream I’ve ever had, and I still want more. I oughta be ashamed.”
He was ashamed, and vowed to be more understanding of Rick’s commitments, no matter how much he wanted to feel otherwise.
* * * * *
Rick came over the next night, and Ed did indeed finish what he had started the day before. He had Rick undressed and in bed minutes after he had arrived. A noisy, passionate lovemaking session followed, and when all their itches had been thoroughly scratched, they lay next to each, quietly enjoying the afterglow.
“Damn,” Rick said, reaching for Ed’s hand. “What’s that old Foreigner song? ‘Feels Like the First Time’? It still does, baby, with you.”
“Well, I’m glad to know that you haven’t gotten tired of me after a little more than a month.”
Rick stretched expansively, pulling Ed closer to him. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen for quite a while. I tell you, though, I almost wished I smoked after something like that.”
“How about something to drink?” Ed asked, rolling toward the side of the bed.
Ed curled up next to him. “This is so nice.”
Rick stared at the ceiling, his brow creased in thought. “Yes, it is.” He turned to Ed. “About last night—”
Ed put his hand over Rick’s mouth. “Don’t even worry about it.”
“But I do worry about it,” Rick said, pushing Ed’s hand away. “It’s not fair. I mean, if I spend all the time with you that I want, I feel like I’m neglecting the kids. And vice versa. And believe me, the last thing I ever want you to feel is neglected.”
“Darlin’, the last thing I feel right now is neglected. I didn’t feel neglected last night either. I’m just so grateful to have found you. Why, just think, what we have is probably more than some guys ever get.”
“Still, I wish there was some way I could, you know, kinda incorporate my life a little more. Although Claire tells me not to worry about it, I guess I’ve been reluctant for the kids to see the two of us together a lot. Claire says that stupid, that there’s nothing wrong with them being exposed to a healthy, happy relationship. I guess she’s right, but this town and all . . . well, you know.”
“Oh, yes. I know this town even better than you do. I grew up here, remember? Still, considering the way Mom is doing her best to accept the situation, there may be hope for Porterfield yet.”
“Claire says she’d really like to get to know you better, and she’d like the kids to get to know you, too. She says she’s impressed with what she’s seen of you, so far.”
“Really?”
Ed had met Claire and the kids several times before, usually when he stopped by to pick up Rick for an evening out. He had immediately liked Claire, who was a few years older than her brother and seemed to share most of his best qualities. The kids seemed okay, too.
Rick laughed. “Yeah, she said you’ve given me an excuse to stay here in Porterfield, better than anything she could think up.” He kissed Ed. “Ah, and what an excuse you are. So what do you think? I survived dinner with your mother. Do you think you could put on your Uncle Ed face and spend some time with my family?”
“I don’t see why not,” Ed said, thinking of his own niece and nephew. “It’s not like I haven’t had any experience.” He smiled at Rick. “What the hell. If it means I get to spend more time with you, I’m all for it.”
* * * * *
Rick looked triumphant when he stopped to see Ed the next afternoon. “Guess what? The perfect excuse has come up for you to spend some time at my place. You can be the handyman and Uncle Ed at the same time. How are you with doorknobs and locks?”
Ed smiled at Rick’s eagerness. “Depends. What’s going on?”
“Well, the front door lock at that house has never been quite right. And this morning the doorknob came off in my hand.” Rick rolled his eyes. “You know, a nice little suburban house with everything guaranteed to fall apart. Anyway, do you think you could install a new doorknob and a new lock?”
“I’m seeing you standing there, holding on to that doorknob,” Ed said, and laughed. “I would have loved to have seen the look on your face.”
“And heard what I said, or would have said, if the kids weren’t around.” Rick laughed with him. “Can you do it?”
“Oh, sure. That shouldn’t be any problem. I’ve done it before. I’ll just have to look at it, then go over to the lumberyard for some new hardware. Easy stuff,” he bragged.
“My man, the handyman. He’s good at all kinds of things.” Rick grabbed him and sighed happily. “Here’s Claire’s idea. She thought you could come over Saturday in the afternoon and fix the door, then stay to supper. What do you think?”
“I can do that, on one condition.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I’ll fix your door, and play with the kids, and be nice to your sister, and everything else, if, sometime later, Uncle Ed gets to spend some alone time with Uncle Rick.”
“No sweat, baby,” Rick said, kissing him. “No sweat.”
And so the plans for Saturday were set, at least until Rick called him later that day.
“Claire’s come up with another brainstorm,” he said with a good deal less enthusiasm than he had shown earlier. “She really wants to go to Fort Wayne and do some Christmas shopping for the kids. She was hoping I’d go with her, and you could stay and keep an eye on the kids while you fix the door. Then, when we get back to town, we’d stop at Gino’s and pick up pizza for all of us.”
“She wants me to babysit her kids?” Ed asked, surprised. “Boy, she really does trust me, doesn’t she?”
“Yeah. I told her I thought it was an awful lot to ask, but I promised to ask you anyway. It shouldn’t be too bad, though. Judy’s going to visit a friend down the street, so that just leaves Josh and Jane. And they’ll probably be happy with TV. Well,” he conceded, “Jane may drag out Candy Land, but I think you can handle that. But listen, baby, if you don’t want to do it, it’s okay.”
Ed thought for a moment. “Well, the door won’t take too long. I can certainly keep an eye on two kids watching the tube. And I do love those ice cream floats in Candy Land.”
Rick laughed. “Okay. You’re committed now. And have I told you yet today how much I love you?”
“Oh, I think you may have mentioned it.” Ed smiled into the phone. “But you can tell me again on Saturday. Hell, show me again after that pizza.”
“Mmm,” Rick moaned. “Pizza and Ed. What a combo! Who knows? I just may pick up an extra Christmas present for you, too.”
* * * * *
Saturday afternoon, Ed drove across town to Claire’s little ranch house in the Westside Hills subdivision. Ed, an east-side-of-town boy, had never spent much time on the far west edge of Porterfield, and he had to admit he much preferred the eastern section of town with its old, solid, established houses and full-grown trees. He suspected that Rick felt the same way, and allowed himself a brief dream of the two of them living in a graceful old home, not unlike Mrs. Penfield’s.
He quickly checked out Claire’s front door, and as he thought, it would be an easy fix. He drove over to the lumberyard/home-improvement store where he bought most of his supplies, thinking about his babysitting chore ahead of him.
Eleven-year-old Judy appeared to be an average sort of girl on the verge of adolescence. Eight-year-old Josh bore a striking resemblance to his Uncle Rick and clearly doted on him. Josh loved to read, Rick had said, and one of Rick’s favorite things to do was take Josh to the Porterfield library. Jane, at five, seemed to be more of a handful, and Ed hoped it wouldn’t take much more than a good rousing game of Candy Land to endear him to her.
Back at the house, Ed carried the new hardware and his toolbox in through the attached garage to the back door. Claire was in the kitchen, washing the lunch dishes. She smiled warmly at Ed as he walked in. Claire was several inches shorter than her brother, but their resemblance, from dark hair to identical warm smiles, was remarkable. Claire’s face seemed a bit worn from her troubled marriage, and her body had thickened considerably after three children. Still, Ed could see in her the pretty high school girl Rick had mentioned.
“This is so nice of you,” she said. “Between fixing the door and watching my monsters all afternoon, I feel like I should be giving you a lot more than some pizza.”
Ed smiled back. “Don’t worry about it. You know, I’d do just about anything for your brother.”
Claire hung up her dish towel to dry. “Yeah, I’m kinda aware of that, and I couldn’t be happier. Really. I can’t tell you how glad I am the two of you met and that things are going so well. It takes a lot of guilt off me, knowing that Rick is happy, after I practically dragged him here from Indianapolis.’
“You didn’t have to drag me,” Rick said, entering the kitchen. “Well, maybe a little bit, but it has definitely paid off.” He gave Ed a quick kiss. “Who knew Porterfield had such a cute handyman, hmm?”<
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“Oh, for . . . ,” Ed mumbled, blushing.
Claire, grinning, shook her head at her brother. “We sure don’t have to stop and see Santa at the mall. He already knows what you want for Christmas. Let me get my coat. And my gloves. It’s cold out. They’re talking about snow, did you hear?” she said as she walked out.
“Hey, kids,” Rick hollered. “Come say hi to Ed.”
All three of them straggled into the kitchen, murmured greetings, and listened patiently as Rick told them to behave themselves. Ed noticed that Josh and little Jane were obviously in the midst of some all-day-type sibling feud, but they had managed somehow to unite against Judy, the oldest, who seemed disgusted with both of them. Rick seemed oblivious to it in the way an insider is used to the serial dramas of kids, but Ed wondered what was brewing between them. He didn’t ask for details, figuring, at least for the moment, that what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
After Claire and Rick left, Judy immediately went to the bedroom she shared with Jane, practically slamming the door behind her. Josh and Jane went to the living room, Jane crawling up on the sofa to return to her television show, Josh to an easy chair to pick up the Highlights magazine he had left there. Ed hauled his stuff over to the front door. Music blared out of Judy’s room, Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall.” Well, at least she’s got good taste, Ed thought as he opened his toolbox, nervous though at the thought that the lyrics could incite open rebellion among the children.
“She thinks she’s so smart,” Josh muttered to Jane, glancing down the hall toward the bedrooms.
“I’m not talking to you,” Jane replied, eyes never leaving the TV screen.
Ed smiled, remembering his childhood battles with his sister. He just hoped open warfare would be avoided until after Claire and Rick returned.