by Nick Poff
The smell of fresh coffee soon wafted through the house as Ed rushed around, trying to remove as much of Jett’s discarded fur from the furniture as possible.
“As much as it costs to feed you, you could at least clean up after yourself,” he told the cat, who sneered at him, stalking away to his morning perch in the living room’s east window. “Man, I’ve met drag queens who don’t have as much attitude as that cat,” he shouted toward the kitchen.
Rick laughed. “Well, he’s your cat.”
“Hey, I thought he was our cat.”
“When he acts like a drag queen he’s your cat, baby.”
“Battle stations,” Ed stage-whispered. “I just saw a car pull up front.”
Rick came into the living room and peered out the front door. “Yep. That’s them. Now, relax.”
Ed and Rick warmly welcomed John and Vera Benton into the house. A quick tour—all that was really possible for Ed’s small house—followed. Soon all four were settled in the living room with coffee and the last of Norma’s cookies.
“Your mother’s quite a hand with these cookies, Ed,” Vera commented. “They’re really good.”
Ed smiled, trying to not laugh, remembering Norma’s horror over Vera’s meatloaf recipe. “I’ll be sure and tell her you said so. I apologize, though, for spoiling your appetites. Rick and I want to take you both to the Wood Haven for lunch. It’s a really nice place on the north side of town.”
John shook his head. “No, we’ll do the taking. After all, you only have one thirtieth birthday. How’s it feel, Rick, hitting the big three-oh?”
Rick shrugged, smiling. “No big deal, Dad. I don’t feel a day over twenty-nine.”
“That’s the spirit.”
As it had at their first meeting, conversation moved well and easily, but Ed felt an undercurrent, some kind of tension between Rick’s parents. Vera seemed a little too animated and John overly hearty, at least from what he remembered of the Indianapolis trip.
He puzzled over it, as John pulled out a birthday card for Rick. Rick opened it, and a check fell out. He glanced at the amount, then warmly thanked both his parents. Oh, it all seemed just fine on the surface, but unless Ed was imagining things, something was definitely going on.
Ed’s feeling persisted through lunch at the Wood Haven. With some subtle scrutiny, he finally realized that Vera had something she wanted to say, but that John kept giving her guarded looks to keep her quiet.
He was eaten alive with curiosity by this time. What kind of bombshell could she possibly drop? Frankly, Ed had never met a more “Donna Reed-ish” mother, and the thought that she was concealing something shocking was intriguing. For once he wished he had inherited his mother’s conversational boldness, until it occurred to him that whatever Vera had on her mind might have something to do with him. Then he was glad John was keeping her quiet. He glanced across the table at Rick, who was telling post office stories. If Rick had picked up on anything, he didn’t show it.
Ed resigned himself to remaining in the dark when lunch ended with no revelations. They drove back to his house in Rick’s car, and he assumed that John and Vera would immediately head over to Claire’s place, but to his surprise Vera asked if they could have “a little talk” before they visited the grandchildren. Ed looked at Rick, his heart sinking. He’d never yet been invited to “a little talk” that he’d liked.
They reassembled in Ed’s living room, John and Vera in easy chairs, Ed and Rick on the sofa. Ed nervously watched Vera make herself comfortable in the chair Jett usually used for naps. He hoped he’d gotten all the cat hair off of it.
“Boys,” Vera said, smiling at them. “I’ve been thinking a lot about your future. Rick, from what I’ve seen, it’s obvious that you and Ed are prepared to make a serious commitment to each other. Oh, I couldn’t be more pleased,” she added hastily. “I’m genuinely relieved that you’ve found such a wonderful companion. Ed’s a good man. You don’t have to convince me of that.”
Rick looked at his father, who shrugged helplessly. “Well, I’m really glad you like Ed, Mom. Yes, I believe we’ll be together for a long time. At least, I hope so. Are you worried about that for some reason?”
Vera looked solemnly at her son. “Frankly, dear, yes, I am. I worry about the two of you in this town. Do you really think this is a good place to build a relationship like yours?”
Rick’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Whether it is or not, this is where we live. Ed has a business of his own here, I’ve got a job, and in case you’ve forgotten, I moved here to be close to Claire and the kids. What are you saying, Mom? That Ed and I should break up for the sake of Porterfield?”
“Oh, no,” she exclaimed, flustered. “I didn’t mean that at all. But I worry about you here. Don’t you think you’d be more comfortable in a larger city?”
“Such as, I don’t know, Indianapolis?” Rick asked sarcastically.
“That would be a good option, yes,” Vera said, smiling nervously.
Rick looked back at his father. “Are you in on this, Dad?” he inquired.
John shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Your mother is simply concerned for your safety. And on a more selfish note, I’m sure she’d like to have you—have you both—closer to home. That’s a mother’s prerogative.”
Rick sat up straight, clasping his hands tightly together. Ed, knowing the volcano that was about to erupt, laid a restraining hand on his arm. Rick ignored it.
“So let me be sure I have this right,” Rick began, staring at both his mother and father. “Mom here thinks that because her sissy son has met another sissy man, they aren’t safe on the mean streets of Porterfield, a place where most people don’t even bother to lock their doors, but would be safer in a big city, full of crime, corruption, and murder. Do I have that right?”
“Richard,” his father warned.
“Small towns are notoriously full of prejudice,” Vera said, staring back at him.
“I see. And because we’re both sissy men, we can’t take care of ourselves, right?”
“That’s not what I’m trying to say,” Vera said sharply. “I just don’t see any reason for either of you to open yourselves to . . . to the abuse you’re sure to get here.”
“Hell, if that’s the case, then why don’t you ship us off to San Francisco? Shouldn’t we go off into exile like all the other fairies?”
“Rick,” John said impatiently. “There is no reason to lose your temper, nor take this the wrong way. Have the two of you thought what might happen if you choose to live together in this town? Are you sure Ed’s old folks would be approving of such a relationship? And what about your job, Rick? You’ve built up close to ten years with the postal service. Are you prepared to lose the benefits you’re in line to receive because of the person you chose to love?”
“I could lose my job just as easily in Indianapolis or San Fran-fucking-cisco as I could here,” Rick hollered.
“Richard, watch your language! Don’t talk like that in front of your mother,” his father shouted back.
Rick, who was almost standing by this point, sank back to the sofa. “I’m sorry, Mom, Dad. That was uncalled for,” he said in a much quieter tone of voice.
He took a deep breath before he continued. “I’m shocked and hurt, though, that you seem to think that Ed and I are so careless or foolish we would do anything to invite trouble. Yes, we’ve talked about it. Aside from my commitment to Claire and the kids, one of the reasons I’m not here every day and every night with the man I love is because of the very things you mentioned. We have our concerns, and at this point in time we’re moving slowly and, yes, cautiously toward the idea of cohabitation.
“Yes, we’ve even talked about moving away, to a bigger city, where it might be easier for us. Mom, Dad, you can’t imagine how we’ve struggled with this. I think it was only with the help and very wise counsel of our good friend, Mrs. Penfield, that we were able to achieve a certain amount of peace on the subject.”
Rick held up a hand. “May I finish, Mother?”
Vera pursed her lips, holding back her words. “Yes. Please do.”
Rick nodded. “Thank you. I’m hoping you will also remember this is Ed’s hometown. His family is here. His mother depends on him, and God love the old battle-ax, I don’t blame her. He’s about the most dependable person I’ve ever met.”
Vera sighed. “I’ve no doubt of that. You don’t have to sell Ed to us, Rick. We’ve seen what he is for ourselves. I just want you to be safe and happy. I worry. And that’s a mother’s prerogative as well.”
Ed watched the assorted Bentons glare at one another. Mustering his shaky self-confidence, he waded in.
“May I say something?” he asked, rather timidly.
John let out a long breath. “Please do, Ed. I think we could use your input about now.”
“Well,” Ed said with a nervous look at Rick. “I think when he calms down, Rick will be as overwhelmed as I am at your concern for us. Most men in our situation are usually just written off by their parents, but you’ve made me feel like a welcome member of the family. That’s means more to me than you’ll ever know. My mom, even though it’s been hard for her, has done the same for Rick. We’ve been really lucky in that respect, and maybe that’s why we don’t see this town as such a threat.”
Ed paused. He wanted to think through his words carefully before he spoke. “Maybe we’re being overly optimistic about our future here in Porterfield. Maybe we just love each other so much we can’t see why anyone would have a problem with it. I know they do. We’ve encountered it once already, big time. But here’s the thing: if it comes down to a choice between my hometown and my business versus Rick, I’ll take Rick. Period. Keeping him safe, and me safe, is the most important thing. So if the day comes we feel we need to leave Porterfield, we’ll leave. But I don’t see any reason to move because something might happen. I’ve lived in this town long enough to know that people sometimes surprise you. Rick and I have discussed it. We’re not going to give up the life we have here without a fight.” Ed took a deep breath, then let it out. Aside from high school speech class, he didn’t think he’d ever delivered such a sermon before.
The three Bentons looked at him silently.
John broke the silence with a chuckle. “Well put, Ed. Well put.”
Ed felt Rick’s hand creep into his.
“You see, Mom, it may be your prerogative to worry, but I don’t think you have to worry quite so much with Ed here at my side. Yes, I’ll admit, we probably get a little carried away with ourselves sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t watching, taking note of what’s going on around us.”
Vera pulled a handkerchief from her purse. She wiped her eyes and sighed heavily. “That’s just it. I wish you didn’t have to.”
Rick shrugged. “I wish we didn’t either. But we’re stuck with it. But you know what? I’m not about to leave Ed and take up with some woman just to make the rest of the world happy. It’s not gonna happen. And until the time the world doesn’t care anymore, we’ll do the best we can to coexist with it.” He suddenly grinned. “Hell, Mom, we’re coming up on tornado season. I could just as easily get blown away walking my route as done in by a queer basher. Ever think of that?”
Vera eagerly laughed, happy, it seemed, to break the tension. “Well, no, I can’t say that I have. But thanks. Now I have something else to worry about.” She fumbled her handkerchief back into her purse. “Oh, Rick, I just mean well. I wouldn’t worry if I didn’t care, and I only want the best for both of you.”
“Yeah, Mom. I know. And sometimes meaning well is a bitch, isn’t it?”
* * * * *
Ed and Rick sat quietly together, listening to the music pour out of the stereo in Ed’s living room, listening to the old songs that had begun to shape their new life together. The late winter sunlight slowly drained from the sky as dusk descended on Porterfield.
The Bentons had left hours ago, with hugs, apologies, and promises of another visit someday soon. Ed and Rick hadn’t yet said much to each other about his parents’ concerns. It didn’t seem necessary. They both remembered that cold night at the cemetery, and the decisions they had made regarding Porterfield.
No, they didn’t talk about it, but Ed thought about it, and he knew, from the look on Rick’s face, that Rick was too.
Ed knew, in his mind, that he and Rick were not terribly unique and their love was no more special than any other couple’s. In his heart, though, their love was more beautiful than the seven wonders, more dazzling than a perfect cut diamond.
The power of their love had enabled them to move far beyond the wounds and resentments of their past. They were already stronger, better men, as Hilda Penfield had predicted. Together, they were a force capable of creating enormous goodwill. Unfortunately, though, a great prejudice hung over them, and it was possible the potential of that goodwill would never be recognized.
Ed sighed. He would go to his grave with no understanding of why anyone would condemn a love so honest and genuine.
“Rick,” Ed asked, as another record fell into place on the turntable, “when you talked about a time when the world wouldn’t care about us anymore, did you really mean it? I mean, do you think that day will come, when you and I can live happily ever after without worrying what anybody thinks?”
Rick was staring into space, listening to the music from the stereo. "Get Together" by The Youngbloods was playing.
Ed nudged him. "Do you think that day might really happen?"
Rick blinked and turned to Ed. "I don't know, baby." He shrugged toward the stereo. "Maybe. People have been preaching peace and loving your brother like crazy since the sixties, but I don't know if us gay brothers will ever be included in that."
He shrugged again. "Maybe things will change for us someday." He smiled weakly. "I hope so."
.
Chapter Twenty-one
Early on St. Patrick’s Day morning, Ed stepped outside his back door and paused, amazed at the warmth in the air. The calendar still said winter, but spring was moving in, shoving Old Man Winter aside. He shrugged his shoulders, which felt wonderfully light without his usual bulky jacket. The bright sunlight made him squint a bit, and he was grateful for the sunglasses waiting in his truck.
Near the garage he noticed green shoots, which promised first daffodils, then later, tulips. He smiled. To notice them for the first time on the day for all things green seemed appropriate. He grabbed his snow shovel and stowed it on a hook in the garage, hoping that he wouldn’t be touching it again until later in the year.
Glad as Ed was to put away his shovel, he was still a little wistful to see winter come to an end. Despite the cold and the endless snow removal chores, spending the winter with Rick had been wonderful, semihibernating, getting to know one another better, and, Ed thought, falling even deeper in love than they’d been before the first snowflake fell.
His work had kept him busy enough to pay the bills and to add money to his Triple S fund, but he had also managed to have plenty of time for Rick and for dreaming about Rick. With warmer weather coming, Ed’s work would undoubtedly pick up; he already had five painting jobs scheduled, and he knew more would come. Chores and repairs that folks had put off all winter always seemed to become a priority when spring arrived, and Ed braced himself for a constantly ringing phone.
Not only that, Ed thought, as he backed his truck out of the garage, but spring meant an end to people cozily tucked away in their warm homes. People would open their windows and begin to move outside once again. Ed had felt through the winter that he and Rick were almost in hiding, keeping their growing relationship a secret inside the winter darkness. With everyone moving about freely again, would they take notice of the two men blissfully sharing their lives together at 427 East Coleman Street? The words of Rick’s mother and father still haunted Ed. He wanted nothing more than to
share Rick’s love and companionship without worrying about community disapproval.
Ed rolled his window down, and the warm air blew against his face. He wondered if John and Vera’s visit would have any effect on their future plans. He hoped it wouldn’t, but he knew that Rick had been just as shaken as he that his mother felt they should move away before moving on with their relationship. He wistfully remembered telling Jett that Rick would be with them before the tulips bloomed. It was something he wanted with all of his heart, but he wanted it only if Rick could commit to it with no reservations.
Ed gave his head a good shake as he pulled up in front of Mrs. Heston’s house. Such gloomy thoughts on such a beautiful day! Nope, he was going to appreciate the warmth and the sunshine for what it was worth, and he had all day to look forward to seeing Rick in the evening. Ed and Rick were meeting Gordy downtown at the Cozy Hearth Café, which stayed open late every St. Paddy’s Day to serve their corned beef special. Despite Rick’s earlier jealousy pangs, the three were beginning to enjoy a warm friendship.
Ed managed to keep the darker thoughts at bay throughout the day and felt downright festive when he met Rick and Gordy that evening. They were both laughing together over a screwup Jim Murkland had made earlier in the day, bringing the wrath of Don Hoffmeyer on him. Ed was glad to hear that Murk the Jerk was too busy covering his ass these days to make trouble for anyone.
“What goes around, comes around,” he remarked as their drinks arrived at the table.
“Ah, where’s the green beer when you need it?” Gordy asked sadly, observing his glass of Pepsi. The Cozy Hearth didn’t serve anything stronger. “What’s St. Paddy’s Day without hoisting a few, huh?”
Ed glanced around the crowded restaurant. Few genuine Irish lived in Porterfield, but apparently plenty of folks had decided to pretend for the day.