by Diane Moody
“Well, I must say, it’s a delight to see you again, Miss Colter.”
“Please, call me Shelby.”
“Oh, I’ll try but my dear mother, God rest her soul, always taught me to show a lady respect. And old habits die hard, but we’ll see. So tell me, how are you today?”
He was so kind, so genuine. His face, wrinkled in all the right places from a life obviously filled with laughter and smiles. His head still graced with thick white wavy hair. His pale blue eyes, warm and endearing. He seemed relaxed and ready to listen, as if we had all the time in the world.
He asked all the right questions, putting me immediately at ease, not rushing into any sensitive areas. And yet, once we began chatting, I seemed to have no trouble traveling down those paths with him. I told him about Will, about our relationship, and our plans to live abroad as he made a career with the Navy. I told him how hard I’d fallen for Will and how much I had loved him.
“However, you couldn’t marry him,” he interjected, as if making a statement we both understood.
I looked down at my skirt, running my fingernail along the pleat. “No, I couldn’t. I thought I could. I wanted to. Well, at least I thought I did.”
“What was it about your romantic young sailor that made you change your mind?” he asked, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together.
“Dr. Love, I hate to take up too much of your time like this. It’s no big deal.”
“First of all, you’re not taking my time. You made the appointment. This is your time. And second, if it’s no big deal, then where did those tears I saw Sunday come from? I doubt you were just overly excited about our lovely library.”
“No, of course not. But I—”
“Miss Colter, I knew your daddy well. He’s a good man. And your mother is as sweet as they come. I know you come from good stock. Solid folk. So maybe I’m going out on a limb here, but could it be your sailor wasn’t all you wished for deep in your heart? Is it possible he may have been quite the romantic, but missing some of the things you’d always yearned for?”
My head snapped up as I looked into his eyes. “How could you possibly know that? Why would you ask me something like that?” I suddenly felt uncomfortable, wondering who had talked to him. Had he called Dad? Had Rachel told him something?
“Because I’ve sat in this chair a hundred times asking the same question to a hundred others not unlike you. Miss Colter—Shelby . . . you haven’t once mentioned if your fiancé was a believer. Was he?”
I looked down again. “No, he wasn’t.”
“And was he comfortable with the fact that your faith is important to you?”
“No, he wasn’t. I thought I could handle it. I thought somewhere down the line, he’d want what I had. Then we could raise our kids in a Christian home. It’s what I’ve always dreamed of.”
“Yet your heart fell for someone promising you the moon but not willing to share your belief in God.”
“Exactly,” I answered, though it came out more of a croak. The tears returned. “All my life I wanted someone who would love me, someone who would be excited to share a life with me. I was always that girl who never got the guy she wanted because he always had eyes for someone else. The girl who got stuck with the guys who were nice enough, but never set her heart to pounding. The girl who was serving punch at the prom instead of dancing with the cute guy from her history class. I didn’t want to be that girl the rest of my life.
“But when I met Will, I wasn’t that girl anymore. He fell head over heels in love with me. It was literally love at first sight. For both of us.”
“Where did you meet him, if I may ask?”
“The first week of my senior year at Samford. He was a friend of a friend. He was on leave from the Navy and had flown in from San Diego for a couple of weeks. He showed up at this party and . . . oh, you don’t need to hear all this.”
“No, no. Go on. Please.”
“He showed up at this party and the minute my friend introduced us, it was like he was smitten with me. I’d never had that experience before. I mean, he couldn’t take his eyes off me. He wanted to know all about me, about my family, my childhood . . .” I caught myself smiling, remembering the night. “We ended up talking all night. We never left my friend’s apartment. Sat right there on his sofa and talked all night long.
“I couldn’t believe it. Here was this handsome, articulate, intelligent man—interested in me?”
“Wait. Why do say that—‘interested in me’? Why shouldn’t he be interested in you? You’re a beautiful young lady, you’re obviously articulate and intelligent. Yet you say it as though no one in his right mind would be attracted to you. Why is that?”
“No, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that . . . well, like I said. I was always the third wheel. The one who was buddies with all the guys in the Latin club. The guys I had crushes on never even knew I existed. And now here’s this fascinating, wonderful man—smitten with me? But I didn’t care. I didn’t try to analyze it. I just let go and fell in love. By the time he flew back to California, we were hopelessly in love. Three months later, he invited me to visit him. By the end of the week, he took me to a breathtaking view overlooking the beach and proposed to me.”
“And?”
I glanced at his clock on the wall. Ten minutes to five. “And to make a long story short, one day I woke up and realized I couldn’t marry this man.”
“Out of nowhere? You just came to that decision?”
It took a few minutes for me to find the words. “No, Dr. Love. Not out of nowhere. I found out this man who had pledged his life to me on that beautiful cliff overlooking the Pacific . . . was also engaged to someone else.”
The clocked ticked. He said nothing.
“She wrote me a letter . . . sent pictures . . . they made a lovely couple.” I looked up, unable to force a sarcastic smile.
“Oh, my. That must have been awful.”
“I couldn’t believe it. I thought I knew him. I didn’t have one trace of doubt about his love for me. But it was all true. She even sent the engagement announcement from their newspaper, including a photo of them together. How could I have been so easily duped?”
He rubbed his hands together as if deep in thought. Or wanting to strangle Will. I wasn’t exactly sure.
“The thing is . . . I never told anyone.”
“About his double life?”
“Yes. I couldn’t. I was too ashamed that I’d been so stupid and so blind.”
“But Miss Colter, you couldn’t possibly have known.”
“I know. At least that’s what I kept telling myself. But the fact is . . . well, Mom and Dad were never comfortable with my relationship with Will. They tried so many times to talk to me about being in a relationship with someone who wasn’t a believer. The old “unequally yoked” thing. But I just knew . . . I knew God had led Will into my life. I was so sure he’d come around eventually. And to be quite honest, it caused a distancing between my parents and me. I was tired of hearing their concerns. I wanted to marry Will. I resented their constant questions and doubts and . . . and bottom line, I was sure I knew better. I was sure they’d come around and love him no matter what. Especially when he turned his heart to God. I just knew he would.
“But in the end, they were right. No, they didn’t know the details, but they were right to be concerned. They loved me and wanted nothing more than to protect me. Instead, in essence, I shoved my hand in their faces and told them to butt out of my life if they couldn’t be happy for me.”
He let out a long sigh. “Well, as a parent, I assure you they don’t hold it against you. Breaks our hearts to see our kids suffer, but I’m guessing they held no hard feelings once you told them it was over.”
I pulled out a tissue from the box on the coffee table and wiped my nose. “You’re right. They were wonderful. Of course, they think I called it off just because I realized Will and I were ‘too different’ . . . but they have no idea wh
at really happened.”
“And how are you in your heart of hearts? Struggling with trust?”
I blew out a scoff. “Yes. Well, that and my general mistrust of all men on the planet.” I looked up at him. “Present company and my daddy excluded.”
He smiled. “And that’s natural. I’d worry if you weren’t a bit mistrusting after what happened. But that gives us something to work on. And with your permission, I’d like to help you find your way again. Are you up for that?”
I wiped my tears and attempted a weary smile. “Yes, I’d like that. I really would.”
“Good!” he said, reaching over to pat my hand. “Let’s set up a regular time every week and see what the Lord has in store for us. In the meantime, will you permit me to pray for you?”
The lump surfaced in my throat again so I just nodded.
He took hold of my hands in his and began. “Lord God, You are our Abba Father. Our King of Kings and Lord of Lords. And oh, how You love us. Even when our hearts are broken and our minds are confused, still You love us. Father, I ask You to pour out Your Holy Spirit even at this moment. Fill Shelby with Your presence. Help her to feel Your embrace and make her know without so much as a trace of doubt, that You love her and want her to begin anew. Help her learn to trust again by first trusting again in You. Lord, You are full of grace and wonder and we are filled with awe at the way You reach down and touch our lives. How You take the most trivial things to nudge us this way or that at any moment in time. The way You led me to the library last Sunday just to dig through the librarian’s drawer in search of some breath mints.” He chuckled. “And how You helped me find Miss Colter there by the bookshelf, looking for books and instead finding a friend.” He laughed quietly again.
“Oh, Lord God, how we love Your sense of humor . . . Your divine purpose in the smallest of things we do at any given time. You are Lord. You are Jehovah-Jireh! You are GOD, and we love You with all our hearts. Amen and amen.”
He squeezed my hands and gave me a quick hug. “You okay?”
“Yes,” I whispered. “Thank you so much, Dr. Love.”
“Stop by and talk with Dorothea to set up a standing appointment. I’ll see you next week, okay?” He opened the door for me.
“Will do. Thanks again.” I smiled on my way out, inhaling the faint scent of cigar . . . with the hint of minty fresh breath mints.
Of course, I was the last one seated at the big round table. I’d debated about skipping the church dinner altogether, but I’d promised Sandra and knew she still needed a ride home. She’d met me at the door to the fellowship hall, took my purse and pointed me in the direction where she and several others were seated, then showed me where to go through the cafeteria-style line. Since it was my first time, the meal was complimentary. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was, and the home-style entrees made my mouth water. And then there was the dessert table. If nothing else, Baptists sure know how to eat.
I took my seat next to Sandra as she introduced me to everyone at the table. My fellow hostesses Chelsea, Debra, and Leila were there along with a handful of guys I’d never met before. Then I noticed Cassie seated next to Chelsea. When Sandra introduced her, she gave me a little wave and got back to work on her salad. With all the seats taken, I assumed Tucker must be working.
It bothered me that I let Cassie get under my skin. It made no sense. She was nice enough. But knowing what I knew about her background and the blue tint of the blood in her veins, I couldn’t help noticing a distinct air of superiority. Then again, maybe it was just my imagination. We’d never really talked. I chided myself for being so critical of someone I hardly knew. How tacky.
“How did it go with Dr. Love?” Sandra whispered, leaning toward me.
“Good. What a big sweetheart he is,” I added, before taking a bite of fried chicken.
Oh my goodness. The fried chicken was just like Mom’s. I tried the mashed potatoes. Heaven. I immediately considered making this a weekly habit after all. That, and shopping at a plus-size women’s clothing store . . .
“Everything okay?” Sandra pressed harder, still keeping her voice down.
“Sure.” She knew I’d stopped by the pastor’s office to say hello. A visit from the daughter of Jack Colter and all that. “Why do you keep asking?”
“Because your mascara is smeared and your eyelashes are wet.”
Oh no. “Bad enough for a trip to the restroom?” I asked.
“No, you’re fine. Here—” she said, handing me her compact. I discreetly opened to use the small mirror, took care of the problem, then handed it back to her.
“Thanks.”
“No problem. We’ll talk later.”
Yeah. I guess we will.
“Sandra tells us you’re new to town,” one of the single guys asked. I think his name was Trevor? He was kind of cute, actually. Sandy blond curly hair cut fairly short, nice smile. He looked as if he laughed a lot. I liked that.
“I was born here,” I answered. “But I’ve lived in Alabama since I was ten. But yeah, I just moved back a couple weeks ago. I’m working at Baptist. I’m one of the hostesses.”
“Really? I never would’ve guessed.”
The girls and I were all dressed alike. “Good one. So you’re, what—a brain surgeon or something? Being so smart and all?” I laughed at my quick wit, stabbing a renegade green bean as I enjoyed my snappy comeback.
“Well, actually, yes. I am.”
Everyone laughed. Evidently we made quite an entertaining duo, this comedian and I.
“Right, and Sandra here is the Queen of England. Royalty and neurosurgeon, all at the same table. Aren’t we blessed?” I laughed again, enjoying the camaraderie.
“Um, Shelby?” Chelsea said with a big grin. “Trevor is a neuro resident at Baptist. I don’t know how smart he is, but he really is a brain surgeon.”
Trevor shook his head as he stood, clearly amused. “Nah, I’m not that smart, Chelsea. I forgot my drink. Anybody need anything while I’m up?” He looked at me. “Some humble pie, Shelby?”
“Funny. Very funny.”
And so it went. The easy teasing and lots of good conversation. Everyone seemed to jump right in and take part.
Well, almost everyone.
Cassie stood and draped her designer purse over her shoulder. “I’ve got to run. I’m meeting Tucker in a little while at Taylor’s.”
“Ooohhh,” Debra swooned. “Ring shopping?”
“Oh, whatever gave you that idea?” Cassie teased demurely, then waved her bare left hand. “Bye bye. See you all Sunday.”
I focused on the generous slice of chess pie on my plate, cutting a large bite. Tucker’s engaged? Why didn’t he tell me? Then again, what business is it of mine?
“Ah, the life of the rich and famous,” one of the other guys teased. “Anyone care to make a wager on carat size?”
“Put me down for one,” Trevor said. “Wait, make that two. Tucker may not cough it up, but Cassie won’t settle for anything less.”
“Nah,” Leila added. “Tucker’s too sensible to spend that kind of money on jewelry.”
I tilted my head to look at her, wondering how well she knew Tucker. In fact, they all seemed to know Tucker. And certainly better than I did.
I set my fork down beside the pie. For some reason, I’d lost my appetite.
Chapter 10
Arriving at work the next morning, Sandra and I had just entered the main floor when a team of white coats flew by us, two of them pushing an unusual cart. I noticed everyone seemed to back out of their way.
“What’s that all about?” I asked Sandra.
“That’s the Harvey team. Whenever you hear them paged, you’ll know there’s an emergency somewhere in the building. They’re all on call to drop everything and run when there’s someone in cardiac arrest or some other life-threatening situation. Their job is to resuscitate if at all possible. Which explains why everyone always gets out of their way. Seconds count. Literally.”
&n
bsp; I’d heard them paged before but never thought to ask. Good to know.
As we entered the office, Mrs. Baker greeted as she always did. “Good morning, girls.” Only this morning she sounded terribly congested. As Sandra said hello and rounded her desk heading to the back office, I got my first visual of our boss. Seated behind her desk, filing through the new patient cards for us, there she sat . . . with a Kleenex looped and protruding from both nostrils. I blinked, sure I was seeing things. Apparently she’d fashioned a nose-stopper of sorts by twisting the tissue into the shape of a short rope, then sticking each end into a nostril. I’d never seen anything quite like it.
“Mrs. Baker, you sound terrible,” I said, wondering if she knew the thing was still gracing her face.
“I know,” she answered, sounding as plugged up as she looked. “But it’s just allergies. Always hits me this time of year when everything’s in bloom. Nothing to worry about.” She smiled and went back to work.
I made my way to the back office pressing my lips together. As we all put away our belongings, I picked up on a considerable amount of snickering from my co-workers.
“What’s with the Kleenex up her nose?” I whispered to Debra.
“It’s her own invention. We call it the Schnauzer Stopper. Not to her face, of course.”
“She just leaves it there?” I pressed. “Even with the office door wide open and hundreds of people passing by all day?”
“Doesn’t seem to faze her,” Leila whispered. “It does the job, she can keep working, and all is well with the world.”
I wasn’t sure I could keep a straight face, so I tried to avoid her on my way out the door.
Pamela told me she’d be upstairs in a few minutes. Today was her last day, and we had a going-away party scheduled for later that afternoon. I really hated to see her go, but then again, if she wasn’t leaving, I wouldn’t have a job.
My first visit was to the room of a gentleman who’d had emergency bypass surgery the night before. I was fairly sure he’d be lights out, but I stopped by anyway, first tapping quietly on his door. “Mr. Gerard?”