by Aileen Rose
I decide that it’s best I lie on the bed. It’s actually quite comfortable. Thoughts of my parents keep me awake. What did I do? I left them without a warning. They must be worried sick. I can be so selfish. No, this was a mistake. First thing in the morning I will explain to him and I’m sure he will let me go. This is the last thought I remember before delving into a world of darkness.
Chapter 3
I wake up feeling the morning breeze caressing my body. The next thing I know is that I can’t move my hands or legs. I’m tied to a tree opposite the hut. The sun has just risen at the edge of the lake and the birds are singing cheerfully.
What is going on? Who tied me? I try to move my arms but I can only pick them up lightly. And my ankles are tied with a rope that goes behind the tree, leaving my legs spread wide open.
Conor comes out from the hut. Oh, thank goodness.
“Conor!” I shout, “I thought you left! What is going on? How did I end up being tied up?”
“I tied you,” he says with a serenity that makes me tremble.
“You?” I ask bewildered. “How could you tie me up?”
“Like this,” he says and walks towards me. As he approaches me, he miraculously turns into a man. A man! How did he turn into a man?
He stands in front of me totally naked. I have never seen a naked man before. Well, apart from naked statues, but they don’t count.
He is in his early thirties from what I can figure out. His hair is black like the wolf’s fur was and his eyes possess a deep brown shade. He may not be a wolf anymore but his eyes belong to a predator, that’s for sure. Even though he was black as a wolf, his skin is slightly darker than my pale white body. I look at him in the eyes. I dare not look any lower. He is a rather attractive man. So different though from all the men that were in my party yesterday. He owns a rugged beauty as opposed to the gentle features of the men I know.
“How did you…? What are you?” I ask. My voice has become so high – pitched I can hardly recognize it.
“I told you that you are in an enchanted forest and that anything can happen.”
“So what? You can change into a wolf again?”
“Anytime I want.”
This is bad. Really bad.
“No one lives in the hut. It’s yours,” I mumble.
“Exactly,” he says coming closer to me.
“How did you tie me? Why didn’t I wake up?”
“You were sleeping deeply. You were probably really tired from our walk last night.”
He raises his hand and caresses my cheek.
“No!” I scream. “Don’t touch me! What do you want from me?”
“What do I want from you? What do you want from me? You told me you were looking for something. You accepted to come with me and not deny me anything. Did you forget what you promised me so quickly?”
“Please let me go. I beg you. My parents must be out of their minds. They will be looking for me. Please…” Tears flood my eyes.
He grabs my neck, with his thumb still caressing my cheek.
“Calista, you should have thought of that yesterday. You agreed to my terms. Didn’t you? I told you there would be no way back, unless I wanted to. It’s too soon for you to leave.”
Tears stream down my cheeks. He places his other hand on my neck as well and sweeps them away with his thumbs. His touch is gentle.
I wish I could pinch myself to wake up from this nightmare.
“What are you going to do to me?”
“Nothing that you don’t want to.”
“I don’t want to be tied. Please, release me,” I beg.
“I’m afraid that is the only thing I can’t do. We are going to play a game. I am going to do one thing to you and you will tell me if you like it or not. If you don’t like it, I’ll stop and release you. If you do like it, I will go on. The only thing I want from you is to be honest. I don’t wish to hurt you, Calista. You are here for a reason. If you can’t trust me, trust what your heart desires. What you ache for.”
His words calm me. But I still feel my heart beating like a drum.
He softly passes his thumb over my lips, taking my breath away.
“Do you like this?”
Calista, you can end it all now. Say no and he will stop.
I close my eyes trying to decide what I want.
“Don’t think about it,” he interrupts my thoughts. “Just tell me if you like it. There is nothing wrong if you like it. It’s just you and me here. And the birds and some squirrels, but I can assure you that they will not judge you.”
He makes me smile.
“Is that a yes?”
I nod.
“Good.”
He takes his hands off my neck and as I see his face approaching mine, I instinctively turn my head away. I feel his lips on my neck. And then his tongue. I can hardly breathe.
“This?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
He lowers my nightgown down my shoulders revealing my breasts.
“No, please,” I say as I turn to look at him again.
“You don’t like this?” he asks.
“No,” I close my eyes in embarrassment.
“Why not? Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
“Then why?”
“Because I’m too ashamed to be naked.”
“Yes, I got that yesterday. And last night I was an animal. So, you are ashamed of the birds as well?”
“No.”
“Then why are you ashamed of me?”
“You are a man. And it’s not appropriate.”
He stares at my naked breasts with lust in his eyes. Not the one my candidates had. A more primal one, making me feel my lower belly clench.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? Has anyone ever seen you naked? I mean as a grown - up.”
“No.”
“I thought so,” he looks in my eyes as if he wants to penetrate my soul. “Why do you want to keep this beauty for yourself? Why don’t you want to share it? The world is made of shared grace and harmony. Look at the sun shining, at the bees flying, the flowers blossoming. What would happen if they were ashamed like you are? No beauty would be revealed. We would live in an eternal shadow of what could exist.”
I gasp. I feel like he has opened my chest and grabbed my heart. I cry again.
“Why do you deny your beauty? Let yourself shine. Let yourself free.”
Slowly, he touches my lips with his. It’s my first kiss. I can’t stop crying. But not because I’m afraid, but because he has touched the depths of my soul in a way no one has ever done before.
“So, shall I go on?” he asks me when he pulls away.
“Yes.”
He goes on kissing my chin, my neck and moves lower to my chest. His tongue swirls around my left nipple while his hand caresses my right breast. I feel my nipples getting so hard that they hurt. And well, I’m…wet. I have only been this wet when I had secretly read one of my mom’s erotic novels she hides in her room. She would never want me to know that she reads those kinds of books.
I lean my head against the tree, closing my eyes and savoring the sensation. I have touched myself before, but it’s so different when another one touches you. Especially when you are bound and unable to prevent it.
His touch becomes harsh, almost hurting me. He even bites my nipple slightly and I flinch. Just when things have started to get wild, he retreats leaving me wanting more.
“Did you like that?” he asks.
I nod with closed eyes.
“I want to you to look at me and say it.”
That was weird. His voice sounded more severe than before. More demanding. I open my eyes scared to face him, but when I eventually do, his look is like before. Kind and commanding at once.
“Yes, I liked it.”
He smiles.
“Did I hurt you so far?”
“No,” but I hurry to correct myself, “only when you bit me.”
“Was it so bad?�
�
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Good. So, you trust me?”
“I don’t know.”
“If I go on, you will have to trust me that I will not hurt you. Otherwise, you will not fully experience this.”
This? Oh, no. I should have never read my mom’s novel. Now I know what he is going to do to me. It would be better if I were naïve. I don’t want my first time to be like this. Tied to a tree. With an unknown man, who by the way turns into a wolf.
“So?” he demands an answer.
I look at the ground confused.
He swiftly pins my neck to the tree forcing me to look at him.
“This will happen, either you want it or not. Do you understand me? Just because I give an option and I am being lenient with you, it doesn’t mean that you can take advantage of me. Now, choose. Will you trust me and enjoy this or you prefer the hard way?”
His eyes burn my flesh. He is indeed a wild animal. That I just enraged.
“Ok, I trust you,” I utter with a low voice.
“I didn’t hear you.”
“I trust you!” I yell.
“I don’t like your attitude.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please, forgive me. I trust you. I do.”
Only then he releases my neck.
He lifts my dress and lowers my underwear. I close my eyes to endure the shame. When they are at my knees’ length, with one violent movement of his hands he rips them apart. He throws the torn underwear on the ground and kisses me once more. While he does so, I feel his fingers lifting my dress again and searching for the area between my legs.
I gasp when he touches the top part of my body’s most secret region. His fingers open my lips and move towards my opening.
“I see you like this a lot, no matter what you say. You are so wet,” he breathes between kissing me.
I want the earth to swallow me right now.
He brings my wetness to the upper part leaving me breathless. He rubs me with his fingers up and down. It’s such a sweet sensation. His tongue invades my mouth making me melt, while his fingers gradually lead me to an explosion. It’s so rough and intense I want to scream. I moan in his mouth.
He moves away. I feel exhausted. Satisfied, but exhausted.
“I will untie your legs. If you try to use them against me, I will have to stop being kind. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do anything. I have no strength left to react. He knew exactly what he was doing. Giving me an orgasm to make me loosen up, so that his work will be easier. And he has done so successfully.
He unties my legs and picks them up, ordering me to wrap them around his waist. His penis is touching me. I had read in that novel that they get hard and longer and of course I have seen male dogs and cats, but never anything like this. It’s huge. If I didn’t feel so sated, I would freak out.
“This is going to hurt a little,” he says. “But the more you resist, the more it will be painful, okay?”
“Yes.”
He leans and kisses me. I feel his fingers again rubbing me and waking up new sensations. This time they move towards my vagina. He inserts one finger slowly. I pant.
“Are you all right?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“Not painful?”
“No.”
He gets his finger out of me and then inserts two fingers really slowly, stretching me. Oh, that hurts.
“No,” I cry.
“Relax, it will be better for you if I do it this way. I know what I am doing,” he says and kisses me again. He doesn’t leave my lips while he is moving his fingers inside me to an increasing rhythm. I’m still wet and his fingers slide effortlessly, but still it is painful.
“I think you are ready,” he says when he stops kissing me and takes his fingers out of me.
I am ready? Am I really? To lose my virginity to a stranger? I had imagined my first time with someone I would love, with someone who would respect me and treat me right. Not with someone who would rape me.
“Please, don’t,” I beg and cry again.
He smiles. “You are not the one who gives orders here. I am,” he says and I feel his penis in the entrance of my vagina, opening it violently. I scream, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He tries to kiss me again, but I turn my head away. As I do so, he kisses my neck while fondling both my breasts harshly with his hands.
He gets inside me inch by inch and I feel like I’m being cut with a knife. I am sobbing now uncontrollably. I feel his weight filling me entirely. He starts moving in and out making my pain unbearable.
And then, something I would never expect happens. The pain fades away leading to a feeling I have never experienced before. It’s pure pleasure. I feel like I am being reborn. Like a new world has just opened for me. Like everything I knew was only a part of what really exists.
His thrusts become more intense scraping my back against the tough, uneven surface of the tree. My whole body aches but I have never felt more alive, more fulfilled. I let his rhythm carry me away and turn my head to face him.
His eyes are filled with desire. Desire for me. I tilt forward and kiss him. My initiative drives him crazy. He possesses my mouth passionately and he takes me like an animal. Like an animal that he is.
I feel him pulsating inside me and then it’s all over. He rests his head on my chest out of breath.
He is still inside me and hugging me. I lay my head on his, starving for some support, some tenderness. He has brought me to a new dimension. It’s only natural I feel a bond having been created between him and me.
He lifts his head and pulls out of me. I feel empty when he leaves me. And humiliated. There is something coursing down my thigh. When I look down to see what it is I close my eyes in disgust. It’s blood mixed with my arousal.
“Open your eyes,” he says.
I do so. He is looking at me with a mischievous smile from head to toe and I blush.
“You did well on your first test,” he reassures me. “I am proud of you. I didn’t think you would pull it off. You are a good girl.”
He moves behind me and unties my hands. When he comes in front again, he rubs my wrists smoothly to relieve me off the pressure the rope has caused.
“Lift your hands,” he says.
I’m unable to resist him. As I lift my arms he takes the dress off me. I am completely naked as he is. He lifts me on his arms as if I were a little girl, close to his warm body. Spontaneously, I coil my arms around his neck and let my head on his shoulder. He doesn’t make me feel scared anymore. I am…calm. And content. Unusually content.
He gets in the lake still carrying me in his arms. As soon as I’m in the water he lets me float. He strokes every part of my body, washing my last inhibitions away.
“Your turn now,” he says.
“My turn?”
“To wash me.”
I blush once more and turn my head away from him.
“Come on. What are you waiting for?” he says impatiently.
I reluctantly pass my wet hands over his chest. Then I sink them once more in the cool water and caress his belly.
“My arms,” he says and I gently rub them with water.
“Now lower,” he suggests.
I look at him in terror. I can’t touch him there. I just can’t.
“Calista? I told you something and I expect you to do it.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Fine.” He is angry.
He drags me out of the water and takes me in his arms once more. I protest this time and hit him on his chest.
“Let me go,” I shout.
He rushes into the hut and lets me down by the bed.
“Stay here,” he orders.
I nod, not understanding what he wants.
He goes to the shelves where he keeps several things and picks a rope.
That doesn’t seem good. My earlier experience with ropes wasn’t good.
Calist
a, wasn’t it? Don’t lie to yourself.
I need a towel. I’m still dripping. But something tells me he won’t grant me this luxury.
“What are you going to do to me?” I ask raising my chin up, trying to save what’s left of my dignity.
“I’m going to tie you to the bed.”
“What?”
“Calista, I have to go hunting. We have to eat something. In the meanwhile, since I don’t trust you, you will wait for me here, tied.”
“No, I won’t!” I run to the exit but he is faster than me and catches me. He pins me to the bed, holding my hands above my head. With his other hand he ties them together.
I start crying.
“What do you want from me? I thought…I thought we…we…”
“We?” he says angry, while he ties the end of the rope to the bed. He looks at me after he finishes. I feel his weight over me suffocating, agonizing. “What did you think, Calista? That after I raped you, we would cuddle like a couple in love?”
His words are like swords that tear my heart apart. Also, my pride and my self- respect. I turn my head around sobbing. He grasps my face and forces me to look at him.
“Listen to me!” he yells. “You are not here to have fun. What did you think? That this was going to be a camping vacation? You are here because you are looking for something. And you will not find it by having fun.”
We remain like this looking at each other, I don’t know for how long. He stares at my lips as if he wants to kiss me, but he is unsure. Eventually, he gets up.
“I won’t be away for long,” he says and before leaving the hut he turns into a wolf. All I can think of is how to escape.
I try to free myself of the ropes, but nothing. He has tied me securely. I hate this. I hate that I can’t move. Second time in one morning. Why did I do this? Why did I hand over all control to another person?
No, Calista…It wasn’t to another person. It was to a wolf. I mean, who does this? I must be out of my mind. Oh, I wish I could turn back time and never leave my house. Pick one of those handsome, rich men and move on with my life. Why am I always looking for trouble?
He was right. He wasn’t gone for a long time. He returned having transformed into a man again. He is holding a dead animal. I think it is a rabbit. He must have caught it while hunting as a wolf. That poor animal.