by KERRY BARNES
With so much anxiety now playing with his emotions, he realised he was taking it out on her and it was wrong. He sighed. ‘Sorry, love, it’s just I’ve a lot to contend with at the moment.’
She approached him, putting her arms around his waist. ‘I know, babe, but Carl is nothing to worry about. I sent him packing.’
‘He may be back. The old lady downstairs said she had something of his. I think it was some money.’
‘What? Why would she have his money?’
Justin shrugged. ‘I don’t know, but anyway, I need to get these expenses sorted. Do me a favour, would you, please? I need a cup of coffee.’
As Lucy went to make the drink, she noticed Carl’s car parked up outside, and then she saw him walking up the path. Her heart was in her mouth, yet he didn’t knock at their door. Presumably, he went to the old lady’s, downstairs.
* * *
Lillian was pleased to see him again. He did remind her of Harry in his younger days, when Harry was full of charm and smiles and treated her like a princess.
‘Son, sorry to call you back, but you left this. It must have fallen out of your jacket pocket.’ She held up the money.
‘Like I said on the phone, Lillian. You have the money, love, I only wanted the clasp. It belonged to a dear friend of mine.’ He winked.
‘Oh, I couldn’t, my dear.’
He chuckled. ‘Most people, me included, would probably have kept it anyway. So, you have the money.’ He looked around the tired flat and knew her need was greater than his. ‘Honestly, I insist. I have plenty.’
She looked at the wad and smiled. ‘Well, if you’re sure. I mean, I can pay the gas bill and fill me larder.’
‘Well, then, me little treacle, you do that.’
He took the gold clasp, kissed her on the cheek, and left as quickly as he arrived. ‘Keep me number, Lil, and if ya need anything doing, you call me.’
She waved goodbye and was overcome with a warm feeling of such happiness. She closed the door and counted the money.
Chapter 18
The last three months had been as comfortable as the inmates could make it for Kara, under the circumstances. Her pregnancy had gone along with no hitches, and she had more room since Julie had been released from prison and Kara now had the cell to herself. She waddled to the shower, her feet now swollen and her bump heavy. Vic hurried along the wing to catch up with her.
‘Oi, what are you doing, wandering off on ya own? You’re ready to drop that little one. You could slip in the shower. Gawd, girl, you should wait for me or Deni.’
Kara giggled. ‘Vic, I’m only having a shower. I’m fine, honestly.’
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Well, the twinges are getting more regular. The personal officer has alerted the hospital wing, so I thought I would get showered and sort out my stuff before they take me off.’
Vic placed an arm around her shoulder. ‘Cole has said that she thinks Deni would be better to be your birthing partner ’cos she’s feeling queasy, the great big lummox.’
Kara chuckled again. ‘I guessed as much. She said yesterday she was nervous and felt she had the world on her shoulders. She takes the responsibility so seriously that it’s really worried her. I said Deni can take her place.’
‘Her heart’s in the right place, though,’ replied Vic, with a warm tone in her voice. ‘You can call that Justin, if you want him there, ya know, because they can’t stop him being at the hospital.’
Kara stopped in her tracks and turned to face Vic. ‘No! He has his son. He married this Lucy woman, and just because he sends me letters every bloody day, it changes nothing. I read them when I’m bored, but I’ve never responded. He thinks he has some kind of right to my child. I’ve a good mind to write back and tell him my baby is not his, she’s someone else’s.’
Vic gave her a cheeky smile. ‘And would that someone else be our Rocky, by any chance?’
With peachy cheeks, Kara chuckled. ‘That would be difficult. We haven’t even … well, you know.’
Vic nodded. ‘Yeah, kiddo, but I bet you can’t wait to do so when you get outta ’ere.’
‘I do love him, Vic. He’s so kind and caring. I just hope he waits for me. I still have nearly two years to serve, and I just hope he will stick it out. That’s selfish, I know, but I’ve fallen for him.’ Caught unawares, she gritted her teeth. ‘Ohh, that was painful.’
Vic smiled. ‘Well, she’s on her way. You quickly get in the shower. I’ll call your personal officer with an update. I think it’s time, love.’
By the time Kara had showered, she’d had two contractions and was feeling overwhelmed with excitement and fear. Officer Melanie Brent arrived and helped Kara back into her oversized tracksuit.
‘Right, my lovely, let’s get you over to the hospital wing.’ She looked down the landing to find Deni panting and puffing. ‘Take your time, Deni. Kara is not about to drop the baby just yet.’ She laughed.
‘Gawd, I need to get fit,’ she choked, in between gasps of air.
The officer smiled. ‘Right, are we ready?’
Deni was fussing. ‘Hold me arm, babe. Take ya time.’
Kara felt relieved that Deni was by her side. Unexpectedly, Vic grabbed Kara’s hand and squeezed it. ‘You will be fine, love.’ Her voice was gentle, unlike her usual harsh words. It was at that point, Kara could see her as a sister, and it warmed her heart.
The hospital wing had a private room where Kara lay on the bed. The midwife, Gina, checked her over and concluded that everything was going well. Gina had been assigned to Kara and had regularly visited, ensuring that the pregnancy was going to plan. The scans had shown that the baby was healthy and full-term. Kara was now listening to the baby’s heart rate through a monitor strapped to her. The sound made Kara smile. ‘Ahh, is that her?’
Deni watched the midwife, looking for any expression on her face that would show if there was anything wrong.
Rubbing Kara’s shoulder, Gina nodded. ‘Yes, she has a strong heartbeat too.’
Gina asked if Kara needed pain relief, but she shook her head. ‘No, I want to try to have her without analgesics.’
Deni looked at the midwife and rolled her eyes. ‘I bet they all say that.’
Gina laughed. ‘Yep, and would you believe it, the mums who say they will want all the painkillers you have, are the ones who don’t need them.’
Kara’s face was flushed with a few beads of sweat dampening her hairline. Deni could tell the contractions were closer and stubborn.
‘Babe, if it’s too much, Gina can give you something.’
Kara shook her head. ‘No, I’ll try on my own for a while.’
‘Well, Gina, what she don’t use, can I have?’
They laughed and tried to make light of the situation to make Kara’s experience as pleasant as possible.
An hour passed, and everyone could tell Kara was struggling. Gina looked at the monitor, with some concern. She could see the baby’s heartbeat was dropping below what it should be. Jumping up, she reached for the phone and called George. ‘We need an ambulance, quickly. Kara has to go to hospital.’
Kara was sucking on the gas and air and Deni was biting her lip; she didn’t like the look on Gina’s face. Luckily, Kara was in too much pain to notice the panic in the air.
‘Kara?’
She pulled the gas away from her face and tried to focus.
‘Kara, the paramedics will be here in two minutes. We’ll take you to the hospital. There’s nothing to worry about. I just want to be sure, that’s all.’
Gina looked at the fear across Deni’s face. ‘It’s just a precaution. Don’t worry, Deni, this happens a lot. The baby is tired.’
Deni, white-faced, nodded and stroked Kara’s hand. ‘Babe, you go with Gina. She’ll look after you.’
Kara felt panicky and clutched Deni’s arm. ‘No, I need you, Deni; I can’t do this alone. Please stay.’
Deni looked at Gina for guidance.
Gin
a then completely took over. ‘Kara, I will not leave your side, okay? Everything will be fine. You just breathe in that gas and air, and it will all be over very soon.’
The paramedics strapped Kara to a stretcher and hurried her into the ambulance. Gina, as she promised, was by her side, yet Kara was reluctant to let go of Deni’s hand.
‘Come on, babe, you’ll be fine, I promise.’ With a kiss on her cheek, Deni stepped away, leaving the paramedics to get Kara out of the prison.
* * *
As the ambulance rushed along the bumpy lane, Kara stared with terror in her eyes. ‘I can’t lose this baby, Gina. She is all the family I have, now.’
One of the paramedics, a young man with huge hands and no neck, took the details and her vitals. Kara was sucking hard on the gas and air and staring at the young man.
At that point, the ambulance speeded up, and Gina realised then that the baby was under stress. She should have called the paramedics earlier and not waited so long. Her heart raced, and sweat covered her brow. Please make it, she prayed.
* * *
Melanie Brent and George followed behind in a car because Kara was still a prisoner.
As soon as they reached the hospital, Kara was taken directly into surgery. They had no time to give her an epidural; instead, they gave her a general anaesthetic, and within ten seconds, she was out cold.
Gina, Melanie, and George sat in the waiting room, all too stunned to speak. Gina stared at the door, watching doctors and nurses going in and out. Her heart ached because she feared the worst, until, finally, a nurse came over, projecting a generous smile. ‘Both mum and baby are doing great.’
Tears welled up in George’s eyes and he quickly blinked. Melanie burst into tears. Gina sighed with relief, having felt so guilty; all her visions of being sacked or shunned vanished as quickly as they appeared.
* * *
Still groggy from the anaesthetic, Kara stared at her baby in the crib next to her bed, unable to believe that the beautiful child was actually hers. She tickled the baby’s cheeks and stroked her thick mop of black hair. Melanie and Gina, too excited to wait for the okay, crept into the room.
‘Aw, look at her. She is so beautiful,’ whispered Melanie, as she looked over at Kara and smiled. ‘Does her dad have black hair?’
Kara thought about Justin and an unexpected tear trickled down her face. ‘No,’ came the curt reply.
Gina ran her hands over the baby’s thick mop of locks. ‘Ahh, it’s a shame because all that luscious hair will probably fall out and she will end up as blonde as you.’
The baby opened her eyes. ‘Look at that! She has huge eyes. What a stunner. She looks like you, Kara,’ said Melanie, still cooing over the tiny bundle wrapped in a pink blanket like a seashell.
Tears worked their way down Kara’s nose, thinking about Justin. Was it really fair to deny him his right as the father? She wiped away her sodden cheeks. ‘Melanie, would you call someone for me?’
With a sympathetic smile, Melanie nodded. ‘Justin?’
‘Yes, I think he should know, or rather I think my baby should know her father.’
Melanie pulled out her mobile and rang the number Kara gave her. It sounded four times before Justin answered. Melanie covered the phone with her hands. ‘Do you want to speak to him, Kara?’
She shook her head; she wasn’t ready just yet.
Melanie left the room. ‘Is that Justin Fox?’
‘Yes.’
‘Hello, I’m Melanie Brent, one of the officers from Larkview Prison. Kara Bannon has asked me to call you. She gave birth to a baby girl, an hour ago.’
‘Where is she?’ came the panicked voice.
Melanie wasn’t sure whether she was supposed to tell him or not, but Kara had said she wanted the baby to know him. ‘Sutton Hospital.’
‘Okay, I’m on my way.’
‘Er, sir, no. I don’t know if she wants you here. I mean, she wanted me to let you know—’
‘Excuse me, Melanie, but I want to see my daughter, so I’ll be there in an hour.’ With that, he cut the connection.
* * *
Looking surprisingly well for a woman who had given birth only few weeks earlier, Lucy shot a look at Justin. ‘What? Who was that?’
Justin’s dismissive attitude lately was getting worse by the day. ‘Someone called Melanie, from Sutton Hospital. Kara has given birth. I’m going to see her now.’
Without thinking, she snapped, ‘And what about our baby? Are you going to visit him too?’
Justin looked her up and down. ‘Lucy, I visit him every day. It’s about time you did as well. You’re his mother,’ he growled, with tight lips. His eyes were heavy, and during the last few months, he’d found himself overloaded with thought, with the worrisome time over his son and the concerning issues around the baby’s health. The rebuilding of his house and of course his work, not to mention his concern over his unborn baby and the prospects of her being brought up in a prison cell, were also draining him.
‘You know how hard it is for me. It breaks my heart to see him wired up with all those tubes and monitors. I’m doing my best, to have the house ready for our son when he comes home. And what you expect to do when you get to the hospital, I don’t know. She won’t let you have the baby, and it’s just going to torment you, knowing that your other child is being brought up in a prison, and there’s fuck-all you can do about it. But our baby needs us, and I’m going to make sure, when he comes home, he has a beautiful room and a nice environment. So, Justin, don’t think for one minute I’m neglecting our son. I’m making a brighter future for him.’ She tried to sound convincing; whether it was to ease her own guilt or dupe Justin, it didn’t matter.
Disappointed and exhausted, Justin snapped back, ‘Sometimes, I wonder if you care more about the bloody house than our son.’
Lucy had learned to bring on the tears at will, and she did so to make him feel guilty. ‘How could you, Justin! Twenty-four hours I was in labour, and for two weeks, I prayed by his cot. You have no idea what it’s like for me. I’m doing my best to make sure he has everything he needs …’ She broke off in floods of tears. ‘I find it so hard to see him there, and I feel guilty because it was my womb he grew in. How do you think that makes me feel?’
He rolled his eyes because she came out with the same whining words. He’d stopped holding her and comforting her because his affection was for his son, that little boy fighting for his life. He knew that the baby might never make it to the house, and it infuriated him even more that his wife wouldn’t accept it. Ben was born with various problems and most concerning was that his lungs were not as developed as they should be, so even with the proper care, he could still die.
‘I’ll call at the hospital on the way back from seeing my daughter, and hopefully, I’ll be able to make Kara see sense.’
Lucy gave him her death stare. ‘You only want her baby because hers is probably perfect and not damaged like ours!’
Justin wanted to throttle her. Mad as a hornet, he lunged forward and stopped an inch from her nose. ‘Don’t you fucking dare say that to me. I love my son.’
His eyes burned into hers. She stepped back. ‘Go on, then, see your precious daughter.’
He didn’t bother to argue any more; slamming the door behind him, he passed another deliveryman carrying more boxes. He looked back at the house and shuddered. His home with Lucy was now brand-new, complete with a redesigned front garden – all Lucy’s ideas, of course. His mood was drained along with his bank balance. She was spending money as if it was going out of fashion.
* * *
Kara was well enough to sit up and hold her bundle of joy; she didn’t want to put her down, but the nurse insisted they both rest. ‘Can’t I hold her for just another minute?’
The young nurse, Alison, smiled and nodded. She admired Kara for how well she was recovering from her caesarean section. She was now sitting upright, her eyes alive and wide. Alison hadn’t experienced caring for a woman pr
isoner admitted to hospital to have her baby. She tried to put herself in Kara’s shoes, knowing that as soon as she was better, she would be back in a place that the nurse herself just couldn’t imagine. Quickly, she left the room, allowing the mother to spend time alone with her daughter.
Seconds later, the door opened, and there, looking older, thinner, and washed out, stood Justin. Kara felt her hands shake and she gripped her baby tighter. ‘What are you doing here?’
He appeared awkward and slightly dazed.
It had been months since Justin had laid eyes on the one woman he truly loved, and seeing her looking so sweet and yet flushed, holding their child, made him want to run to her and throw his arms around her and beg her forgiveness. But the cold glare she gave him put paid to that thought.
‘I wanted to meet our baby and see if you were okay.’
She looked down at her sleeping daughter. ‘Well, here she is.’ Her words were cold, and her expression held no warmth for him.
He ventured towards the bed nervously, and then, when he saw the perfect bundle, he felt a lump in his throat and swallowed hard to stop his emotions showing.
‘She’s beautiful, Kara. She looks so like you.’
Kara sneered at him. She’d thought that seeing him would have her in knots, and all the love she had for him would come flooding back, but she felt nothing, not now, not after everything.
‘Can I hold her?’ He held out his hands.
She pulled her baby closer. ‘No, she’s sleeping.’
He winced, as if she’d pricked him with a fork. The rejection seemed to anger him.
‘We need to talk. It’s not right for our daughter to be brought up in a prison. I can give her a good home.’
Those words were like a red rag to a bull. ‘Get out, Justin, get out!’
He held his arms out in a gesture of supplication. ‘No, listen, please, I don’t want to upset you.’
She continued to glare, but the stress of seeing Justin caused a sharp pain through her middle, and just then, she could feel every stitch.