by Bale, Sarah
Air and his men talked in hushed tones, but I caught a word here and there. Elijah had been so close to getting me back. One more minute and he would have had me. That made me proud, somehow. And also very sad and even a little angry. If he had tried harder-
I stood. “I need to use the bathroom.”
Air nodded his head and I crossed the room, going into the single stall bathroom. I’d used it earlier and that’s when my plan came together. There was a window above the toilet. Standing on the commode, I opened the window. It was going to be a tight squeeze, but I could make it. I had to.
The cold air seeped into the bathroom. Outside, the sun was starting to set. I hated to do this at night, but this might be the only chance I got. Pushing myself with my good foot, I climbed through the window, to the ground. My breath made little puffs of fog as I exhaled. Standing, I closed the window and took off.
There were a lot of things I wished I had in that moment.
A gun or weapon.
Gloves for my hands.
A coat that didn’t belong to a dead man.
A flashlight.
A way to erase my footprints in the snow.
More time.
I rushed forward, going toward the old mall. Smoke still rose into the air, which meant the fire was still burning inside. Behind me, I heard a noise. I didn’t want to look, though. I had to get away!
I ran, ignoring the pain shooting up my ankle. The only sound was my boots hitting the snow. I reached the mall and ran inside. There were bodies everywhere, but worse was the Dead. They turned when they saw me and moved toward me and all the noise I was bringing. Crying out, I ran to the stairs and went to the second level.
I realized why Air and his men hadn’t stayed here when I reached the barricade. It was filled with biters. How was I going to get out of this? There was no way I could fight the biters without a weapon.
Turning, I made my way down the stairs, seeing the Dead had crowded at the base. Shit! I prayed Elijah would understand how hard I tried to get back to him.
Gunfire rang out and biters fell in front of me, unmoving. I couldn’t deny the sense of relief I felt. It was short-lived as Air stormed toward me.
“You have made a grave mistake, lady, and now you will pay.”
Seven
Daisy
Air dragged me back to the building, where the others waited. The looks on their faces scared me, but it was Air’s silence that terrified me.
Air shoved me forward. “I have been kind to you, lady. You came to us, asking for death and I showed you mercy. And yet you continue to play games. To try to escape me.” He removed his belt from his pants. “Tonight, you will pay more than you have paid before.”
Two of his men grabbed me by the arms, holding me. My entire body quaked in fear.
“Please, don’t.”
He put his finger over his lips. “No begging, lady.”
As he raised his arm, I braced myself.
But nothing could prepare for the punishment he had in store.
Nine
Daisy
“Get up, lady.”
My eyes didn’t want to open. Not because I was sleepy, but because they were dried shut with blood and tears. I wasn’t even sure what time it was. I’d passed out at some point last night and after that everything was fuzzy. I wasn’t even sure what had happened, nor did I want to know.
Something hit my arm and I cried out in pain and in fear.
“Clean your face. If you’re not done in five minutes, I’ll do it for you.”
My arm ached as I reached for whatever Air had thrown. I touched a wet cloth. When I lifted my arm to clean my face I moaned. I was certain my shoulder was out of place, maybe even broken. Gently, I wiped my face until I could see. My vision was blurry and my right eye didn’t want to stay open.
Air came back and said, “Come, lady.”
My feet were numb as I tried to stand. A wave a nausea swept over me when I put weight on my already bad ankle. Air watched me with a look of joy on his face.
“See? That wasn’t so bad.”
I looked around for my coat, but didn’t see it.
Air noticed and said, “You do not get anything special. What you came to us in is what you will live in.”
He grabbed my arm and drug me outside, ignoring my cries of pain. The snow-covered ground was so bright that my eyes watered. I didn’t have to worry about it much longer because a burlap sack was put over my head.
Air said, “Do not even think of running. You will be dead before you take the first step.”
I nodded my understanding.
Air shoved me forward until I bumped into something hard. My hip ached and I blinked back tears.
“Get in.”
Feeling around, I climbed into what I assumed was a dune buggy. Men talked in low tones around me, but it was clear they were packing up. I moved my head, but only saw glimpses of light.
Air said, “Careful, lady. I’m right here.”
I froze.
He said to someone nearby, “Make sure to cover our tracks. We do not want to give the enemy a chance to gain the upper hand on us after yesterday.”
The dune buggy dipped as he climbed in next to me.
“I am sorry you don’t have a coat. If you get too cold, you can lean against me. I shall keep you warm with my own flesh.”
Sourness crept up my throat. There was no way in hell I was going to do that.
Air called out, “Brothers, let us go to our new home far from here.”
My stomach fell. Far from here? How far? Would Elijah be able to find me?
We weren’t going very fast, but I felt every blast of air that hit my face and every bump we hit on the road. I inhaled. I could do this. I had to. We traveled for what felt like hours. By the time we stopped, my entire body felt frozen and I’d stopped shivering. A piece of information from high school crossed my mind. It was bad when a person was so cold that they couldn’t shiver.
Someone grabbed me in their arms and I couldn’t even hold onto them for support. My arms felt like heavy blocks of ice hanging at my side.
Air said, “Lady, this act doesn’t suit you.”
Suddenly, warmth surrounded me and the bag was taken off my head. Blinking, I looked around. We were in another building. Maybe an old store. But where? Was this somewhere I had been before with Elijah or were we out of the city now? Air dropped me on the tiled floor. I was so cold that I couldn’t even feel my injuries from last night. All I could do was lie there until the feeling returned to my limbs, which was excruciating. Ice turned into fire that turned into pain so ripe that I wanted to claw my skin. Anything to make it stop hurting.
The men moved around me, like I wasn’t even there. One man, who was younger than the rest, gave me a small smile as he walked past. It wasn’t predatory or even malicious. The gesture gave me hope. Maybe he’d be the one to help me get out of here.
Air came over. “Do not even think about it, lady. My men are loyal to me and you will find that going against me means death.” He nodded his head in the direction of the man. “Young Matthew has a wife and child at home. Do not take a father and husband from his family.”
I nodded once.
I’d learned my lesson. I wouldn’t put anyone in danger to escape. Especially myself.
Days went by. Air never left, but his men went out each morning before the sun rose. They would come back with news, news that I wasn’t allowed to hear, of course. At night, they would tie me up. Sometimes in a chair where I would have to sit until dawn. Sometimes just my arms and feet were bound and I would have to sleep in the middle of the floor, amongst them all. Air no longer cared if I was protected at night. But I wasn’t dead yet. So that was something. Wasn’t it?
No one was watching me for once. I wiggled my ankle. The bruise was creeping past my boot, but I still hadn’t taken it off. What would happen when I did? I really didn’t want to find out.
Standing, I walked slowly to the
barred window, looking out. Another storm had blown in and was now covering the ground with fresh snow. In another time, the sight before me would have been beautiful. Now it only made me realize how alone I was.
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?”
My eyebrows lifted in surprise. Turning, I found young Matthew standing next to me.
“You should go. You’ll only get in trouble for talking to me.” I paused. “Or I’ll get in trouble.”
That was more likely.
“He only does it because he wants to make sure you’re strong. Others would have died by now.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
He shook his dark head. “No. But it should give you hope.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small jar. “Here. This should help with the areas causing you pain. I’ve seen you limping.”
I didn’t want to take the jar. What if this was a trap?
He smiled. “Air said I could give it to you.”
That didn’t make me feel better.
I took the jar, holding it in my hands. “Thank you.”
He nodded and left me to my thoughts. Opening the jar, I sniffed the contents. It smelled like peppermint, so I rubbed some on my shoulder. It felt better after a few minutes, reminding me of pain reliever cream that my dad used to rub on his joints after working in the fields all day.
Air came over and said, “I see young Matthew gave you the ointment his wife made.”
“I told him he shouldn’t talk to me.”
Air replied, “And yet he did. Why is that, lady?”
I didn’t have an answer.
“Come. Let us eat. We’re having squirrel.”
I followed him, knowing that if I didn’t, he’d just drag me. Then men ignored me as he handed me a plate, full of meat and canned vegetables.
“I thought I couldn’t eat with the men?”
Air replied, “I was reminded today that you are eating for two. So eat. Before I change my mind.”
I still wasn’t sure if I was eating for two or not, but I wasn’t going to tell him this. Instead, I moved away from the men, eating as fast as I could. My stomach protested, not being used to this much food, but I ate every crumb I could find.
When I was finished, Air said, “Come.”
He led me to a chair in the middle of the room. A chair that hadn’t been there before. I stopped.
“Sit.”
I shook my head.
“Sit or I will make you sit.”
Three men joined him. One was holding twine in his hands. They were going to tie me to the chair. For what purpose? What were they going to do to me?
“Sit. Now.”
I held up my hands. “There’s a blizzard raging outside. I’m not going to run.”
I hadn’t tried to run again. I meant it when I said I had learned my lesson.
The men grabbed my arms and shoved me into the chair, tying me down. I cried out as the twine bit into my skin. When they were done, they left Air and me alone.
Air replied, “Your words are empty, lady. There is something you can do to be free from the restraints tonight.”
I eyed him, not believing a word he said. “What?”
“Let us cut your hair. We’ll send it to your leader, so he knows we still have you.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Then enjoy trying to find comfort tonight.”
He walked away, leaving me in the chair. I thought for certain he’d come back. But he didn’t.
I sat there until my legs were numb from lack of movement. This couldn’t be good for the baby if I were pregnant. The wind howled outside. My eyes filled with tears as I tried to move. The ropes were too tight, though.
Air came over. “I can take them off. But you know what you have to do in return.”
I dipped my head once. It was a small price to pay.
Air held a mirror in front of me. A sob worked its way up my throat.
It was only hair.
I shouldn’t care.
But I did.
I wasn’t sure I knew the woman staring back at me. Who was she? And was she going to be able to continue fighting? How much more could she take?
“Now you look like one of us, lady.”
My stomach churned and I threw up on the floor.
How was I going to get out of this?
I slept on the floor the next few nights, with no blanket. But Air was true to his word and I hadn’t been tied up since cutting my hair. People moved around me, but I stayed in the same spot. Why hadn’t Elijah come for me? Would I ever see him again? Would he know how sorry I was?
A tear rolled down my cheek.
Air was almost gleeful as he entered the building.
“Lady, we sent our message last night. It was glorious.”
I had no idea what he meant and was afraid to ask. Had someone died? Was Elijah okay?
He went on, “They grow closer to giving up. It’s only a matter of time before this war is over.”
My stomach ached. What would that mean for me?
Air tugged me to my feet, waking me from a dead sleep. “Come, lady.”
I wasn’t surprised when the men formed a circle around me. Was this the day I would die?
“Take your beating with pride, lady. Not many men could have handled this as you have. You are meant to become one of us.”
A whimper left my lips.
Air smiled. “You are one step closer to becoming pure.”
My entire body ached as I crawled as far away from the men as I could get. I couldn’t even cry anymore. They’d stayed true to their words, though, and not struck my stomach.
Air followed me and squatted. “Your leader hasn’t tried to save you in a while. Maybe he’s moved on.”
The throbbing in my head intensified and my vision blurred.
“Not to worry, lady. You have me.”
The dark spot behind my eyes exploded into a giant mass and I let myself give in to the darkness. This was better than being present with Air and his men. At least here I had Elijah.
The bag was pulled off my head, catching what was left of my hair. I didn’t make a sound. How many times had we moved now? I didn’t even know. Then men were already forming a circle and a few had belts.
Air cupped my cheek. “Blessed are the meek.”
I nodded once.
Elijah, where are you?
I was lying on my side on the floor, facing away from everyone. Today had been a strange day. Air was gone for most of it and I’d heard some of the men saying he was angry when he’d left. I moved and my stomach felt strange, as if a small bubble had popped. My heart lurched in my chest when it happened again. Could it be?
Each day that went by brought two things.
I felt the sensation in my stomach that gave me hope.
And Air became angry, which made me fearful.
I had to escape.
I had to.
Most of the men left, leaving me and only three others. Was this the day I could escape? I hadn’t been outside in weeks. Hell, I didn’t even know where I was. But I had to get out of here. I had to protect my baby.
I made it all the way outside before I was dragged back in. My strength was no match to theirs, but I fought as hard as I fucking could. At least if I died, I would die knowing this.
Something had happened. I knew it when Air and the men came back with blood splattered on their clothes. Looking around, I realized young Matthew wasn’t there.
“Where’s Matthew?”
Air’s fist swung through the air before I finished speaking, connecting with my jaw.
My only thought as I fell to the ground was that I hoped they stayed away from my stomach because I was more certain than I’d ever been that I was pregnant.
I stayed away from everyone as much as I could. Their moods turned sourer each day. Sometimes, when they came back, there were less of them, too. When that happened, Air would hit me until I passed out
. But the flutters in my stomach never stopped. And that gave me hope.
Ten
Daisy
The men woke me up, rushing around, packing what little supplies we had left. Our food was close to running out, so they were mainly grabbing clothes and blankets. Air grabbed me, tugging me to my feet.
“Come on.”
He dragged me toward the back door. It was then that I heard the gunfire. He met my gaze and, for the first time in longer than I could remember, I felt a rush of hope when I realized he was scared.
“Yes, lady. Your leader has found us. But this isn’t going to end the way he wants.”
He shoved me against the wall, holding me by the neck.
“I should’ve let you die you that day you came to us, but my own lust got in the way. Maybe I should take you now.” His lips pressed against my forehead. “But when we make love, I want it to be because you’re begging for it.”
I tried to shake my head, but Air’s grip tightened around my throat until I couldn’t breathe.
“Please. I can’t-”
He whispered, “I should kill you right now and send your reanimated body out there for him to see. That would be the end of this war and we would win.”
My head felt foggy from the lack of oxygen, but I knew he was right. My death would end this all.
“I’m not going to do that, though. Instead, I’m going to let you go. You’ll go to your home and be reunited with your lover.” His hand went to my stomach and I wanted to pull away, but couldn’t.
“He will be overcome when he knows you carry his child, a child you’ve tried to hide from me. But your joy will be short-lived because I will return one day. I will kill him and all the others who sided with him. Then, you and your child will live with us. You will become one of us. And one day this will be a fading memory to you.”