by Rue, Rebekah
Chapter 8
Lo
Sleep never takes me. I lie awake for hours, tightly folded in Talon’s side with my ear pressing snugly to his steady heart.
A heart that loves no one.
A heart I’m starting to fall for.
A heart I’m beginning to trust.
The man who surrounds that heart makes mine beat heavy.
Heavy with sensual cravings, confidence, but mainly the need of love, logic hits me, where? In the heart, and I know I can’t be led in his direction. Last night in particular went too far. After listening to Talon’s rhythmic breathing for some time, I feel my eyes lose the fight and I drift off to sleep.
Whenever my anxiety runs high, which has been pretty frequently lately, my body revolts and kicks out of Dreamland, always around four a.m. Covered in sweat, I struggle to pull air in my lungs, fisting Talon’s bicep and sheets. Wary eyes bounce all over the room until I realize where I am, and immediately, I soften my grip, feeling my heart rate come down. Half of the room is draped in moonlight, giving me enough of a glow to move about. I need a moment alone. Strategically, I untangle our bodies and step out of bed, careful not to rouse the beast.
I pull my light hoodie over my head and snatch up my flip-flops, carrying them down the stairs. Why is it when I’m trying to be quiet the noise I make seems ten times louder? The floor creaks when it didn’t before. Opening the front door, I step out onto the porch, inhaling a gulp of wet night air, and close the door quietly behind me.
Talon
One minute my body is wrapped protectively around the tiny slice of heaven made just for me and then, next, utter ataxia. I wake from a cool breeze spinning off the fan onto the empty spot where Lo had been nestled tightly against me. Fighting my eyes open, I glance over at my alarm clock—4:41 a.m.—then over to the Lo-less side of my bed. I run my hand over the sheets. Cold. She’s been gone for a while then. Maybe she’s just using the bathroom. Swinging my legs out of bed, I walk to that door. I don’t care if she is doing womanly things or not. I turn the handle and push it wide open. Empty.
Hmm. I stop and start thinking. Why would she leave? Did I push her too far and make her feel uncomfortable? Fuck, I’m an ass! Why did I have to kiss her? We were having such a good time together, and then my control slipped. She makes it so hard to be in control. I shouldn’t have leaned over her, but if she wasn’t so damn perfect and angelic looking up at me, her beautiful hair sprawled all over my bed like a golden halo, I wouldn’t be in this predicament. Fuck’n-A, it’s only hair. She’s got me all messed up, not knowing how to think or act.
She gets really nervous, I can tell. We spend enough time together that she shouldn’t, but I know she does and I like that. Her vulnerability makes her even sexier. But me? What I feel is a little more complicated. I hold it all inside. For me, it’s like a riot has broken out in my chest and the rioters have joined forces and cut the strings securing my heart. My heart then drops and sizzles in the boiling acids in my stomach. It’s unnerving and has me rubbing a palm where my heart is.
I rub my hands over my face several times, thinking hard, worrying. I have to find her. What if she’s hurt or lost? Maybe Stone has seen her. As soon as I think it, I want to un-think it, feeling my feet freeze.
What if she’s down in bed with Stone? This wouldn’t be the first time Stone has taken my sloppy seconds, not that Lo is, and usually I wouldn’t care. But Lo is different.
Motherfucker! He’s dead!
Violently, I rip my bedroom door open, letting it crash loudly against the wall and storm into Stone’s room, kicking his door open without knocking. I see two bodies in his bed, strands of blond hair peeking from the covers, and my blood pressure boils to dangerous levels. I’m going to kill this motherfucker! Strong arming the light switch, I flip it on. Storming over, I rip all the covers off their bodies, my eyes unsteady from rage.
“What the fuck, Talon!” Stone yells while he shields his eyes from the light, and the blond bimbo shields her private parts.
Too late I see them; they’re not so private anymore, sweetheart. My mood morphs from anger to worried sick in a split second. I’ve got to find her! My feet start moving, and I don’t even bother to turn the light back off on my way out of his room.
I hear him yell as I sprint down the stairs. “Have you lost your damn mind?”
Quite possibly. I do a quick scan of the kitchen, living room, and backyard. No Lo. I grab my truck keys off the counter, slide my feet into some sandals, and dart out the front door. As I start the truck up, the lights illuminate the porch, and the tiny movement of Lo covering her eyes has me wiping a shaky hand down my face and breathing a deep sigh of relief.
Ripping the keys from the ignition, I get out and rush to her, throwing myself to my knees and wrapping her protectively in my arms. After a moment, I pull back, thoroughly looking her over. Her face is sad, eyes slightly bloodshot, and I wonder why. I can’t stop the slew of rushed questions. “Are you okay?”
She nods.
“Did I do something wrong?”
She slowly shakes her head no.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She shakes her head no again while looking down, her tiny frame slightly shivering.
“Come back to bed with me. You’re cold.” Gently, I help her up from the rocking chair. When she stands completely, I scoop her up in my arms and carry her like a bride all the way up to my bed where I lay us both down, covering us up in thick blankets. Her body trembles for a short time, and she smells like outside, but soon I have her smelling like me again with her safely tucked with her back to my front and my arm tightly around her stomach. The protective side of me needs to know what all this is about, but I know I won’t be getting answers any time soon. I release a sigh of relief, simply knowing she’s back in my arms, and before I can stop myself, I place a tender kiss to the back of her head, letting my lips rest there.
Her tiny voice speaks. “Talon?”
“Yeah?”
Silence, silence, silence. “Thank you for caring.”
I feel the callous on my heart she’s been softening get a little softer. “Only for you, babe.” My arms pull her in closer, if that’s even possible, and I let my cheek rest in her hair, speaking so low she probably can’t hear me. “Only for you.” After a short time, her scent pacifies my raging nerves, and easily I plummet back into slumber.
The next morning I awake to tiny fingers walking across my chest. The stimulating sensation is stirring my whole body, including the boss downstairs, but I don’t want her to stop, so I hold perfectly still and pretend to sleep. Her nails trace the twists and turns of my tats until she reaches my heart. I don’t have any tattoos there, so I wait to see what she’ll do. That one finger holds perfectly still. I feel every time she exhales, like soft hands brushing across my flesh. This girl . . . God, I don’t know what to say except it’s getting really difficult to keep things simple. Why? I don’t want to be just friends, but I’m barely capable of that.
That lone finger begins to move, sketching what feels like a heart with a crack going down its middle, and then she graces it with the softest of kisses. What? What is that supposed to mean?
I’m lost when her fingers leave me and the bed shakes as she rolls back to her side. No, wait. Come back. I wait a few minutes then pretend to wake up, turning over and hauling her flush against me. She’s so little in my arms. She giggles and says “good morning” in the sweetest voice. I love her voice and her giggles. That rich sound has me wanting. Like a movie reel running out of control, it’s all there, flashing behind my eyes what could be. Suddenly, I want people to see us together and not start any rumors, I want to wake up and kiss the sleep from her eyes, and I want her stuff to occupy one of the drawers in my dresser. Wanting all I want, I know she’ll never agree. She pushes me away to protect herself. She believes it’s the right thing to do and maybe it is. Someone like me usually isn’t the best for her safe world.
Taking a bottomless breath of Lo, I settle tightly into her. “Good morning,” my raspy morning voice replies. We need to continue our normal “friends” routine, so I act casual. I don’t want her to feel awkward since I caught her hanging out on my porch at 4:45 in the morning. “You up for the gym today?”
Twisting her neck, she turns her eyes to me. “Yep, now?”
“Yeah, why not?”
With that, she gives me a generic smile, and we both get out of bed and get ready. Does she not want to go?
We don’t say much. I watch her move about getting ready, completely oblivious to my stares. On our way out, we grab two breakfast shakes and load her clean laundry basket into my car. She’s quiet, real quiet all of a sudden, but I don’t push.
The gym is bustling for a usual Saturday morning. I move to the weights, thinking Lo will follow, but she diverts over to the treadmills instead, picking a machine next to a guy around our age. The shithead has the nerve to give her the once-over, pass a smile, and try to catch her attention. My blood begins to simmer again as I feel crazy possessive. She pays him no attention, picking a song on her phone and starting a run.
Good! Take a hike, loser. The whole hour and a half in the gym I get nothing done. I watch over her like a mother lion watching her cubs. The asshat never bothers her again, but her silence around me is eating me up. I can see she’s up in her head, so I walk up to her machine.
“Sauna?”
She nods that fucking closed-off nod I’m starting to hate, and I lead the way over there. With a pull of the handle, I open the sauna room door, and we move, choosing to lounge on opposite benches. We don’t even bother to change our clothes; it doesn’t matter at this point. I’m dying to get some things off my chest. I’m not sure if it’s the tension in the air or the thickness of the heat, but it’s harder to breathe, and it’s bothering the hell out of me. We settle back and the firing of questions commences.
“Did I hurt you last night?”
She doesn’t answer me right away. She just pushes out a big sigh, looking down and picking at her nails. “No.”
“Did you go anywhere?”
Flatly, she replies, “Only as far as the porch.”
Why did she even need to go to the porch? “Why were you crying?”
She bites her lip to stop it from quivering. It looks like she wants to cry now and is about to tell me something but then decides against it. “I wasn’t crying.”
I feel my jaw clench out of frustration, and more aggressively than I should, I ask, “Do you do this often?”
Her angry eyes shoot to mine, forehead creased and tilting slightly sideways, and she fires back. “What’s with the interrogation?”
I’m taken aback. Okay, maybe I was a bit sharp, but I couldn’t help it. She is giving me nothing, and nothing makes me crazy. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to piss you off. I just want to help.”
“I don’t need your help or anyone else’s, so just forget about it.”
“Okay . . .”
“Okay!” She shoots back, taking a minute to pause. “Will you take me home now?”
I don’t want to take her home. I just want to take her to my home where I can hold her and reassure her that this problem really isn’t as big a problem as it feels. Don’t give it that power. But once again, I have to remember our label, so I tell her “sure.” We get up and she pushes the door open before I can open it for her, and I follow her out to my car. I don’t know what triggered this new mood, and I sure as shit don’t know how to pull her out of it either.
We pull up in front of her condo, and she immediately starts to jump out, but I firmly grab her upper arm, halting her progress. She glances at my hand then gives me a fixed eye.
“I’m going to help you inside.”
“No, thank you, Talon, I’ve got it.” Her tone is agitated. She jerks her arm away and pulls her things from the trunk. I let her go. Sometimes people just need a moment to themselves, and I’m hoping it’s something petty like she’s on the rag. I watch her punch the code into the key pad, but before she walks through the building doors, I step one leg out of the Mustang, leaning my body over the door. “Can I call you later?” I shout.
Without looking at me, she nods and gives me a sloppy wave good-bye, juggling that heavy basket. Then she’s gone.
I get back in and blink at my steering wheel, thoroughly confused. Chicks! This is why I don’t get involved. I hate playing guessing games or feeling mind-fucked.
I go back to my place, shower, and prepare for our usual Saturday night party. Stone and I started this many years ago so the pussy would come to us. But lately, these parties haven’t been the same for me. I’m hoping Lo will come and that she’ll be in a better mood.
Lo
I enter my condo and pace down the hallway, making a pit stop at the laundry room to strip out of my sweaty clothes. Releasing my hair from its ponytail, I give it a couple shakes then step back into the hallway and pad over to my room. The contrast between the moisture on my skin and the cooler air makes my nipples rock hard, and I about jump out of my skin when I see Micah standing in front of me, taking up the width of the hallway. In a flash, one palm stretches over my crotch, and an arm wraps over my breasts. Mentally, I curse myself for not remembering when Maggie said he would be here.
“Wow, Lo, what a way to welcome your guest.” He’s fully amused, giving me an adorable smile.
Embarrassed and unable to move, I squeak, “Hi, Micah.”
He rushes me and wraps me in a big bear hug like I have clothes on or something. My hands don’t move while he shakes back and forth. Ah, I can feel my booty jiggle.
“It’s so good to see you!” he says. He and Maggie are just alike: two nuts cracked from the same crazy shell.
So awkward. “Yeah . . . you too. Do you mind if I shower first, and then we’ll continue this?”
He sets me down but keeps me in his arms. “Oh, sure, I’ll just close my eyes. See you in a minute.”
Closing his eyes, he releases me, though I’m hesitant to move. Cautiously, I remove my crotch hand and wave it over and over in front of his face. No reaction. Good. Deeming it safe, I make a run for my bathroom, hoping he’s not scarred for life as I am.
When I come out, fully clothed, I stroll to the living room, stopping to rest my shoulder against the archway. My initial emotion is jealousy. Micah and Maggie will always have each other. The same blood runs through their veins, and the only thing separating them is a Y chromosome. But my second emotion trumps the first as an overwhelming wave of adoration washes up my chest. Maggie and Micah both glance up from their seats and wave me over. I sit on the floor, extending my legs in front of me, and lean back on my hands. I could kill Maggie. I give her the evil eye and sarcastically say, “Thanks for the warning text that your brother is here, friend.”
She scrunches up her tiny perfect nose. “Yeah, about that, I’m so sorry. I heard.”
Micah smiles and releases an amused laugh. Oh God, how mortifying. Micah is handsome with his light brown hair long enough to run your fingers through and has chiseled model features, but I have no attraction for him. He’s more of a close brother. He’s a touchy-feely guy, who doesn’t bother me, but he chalks it up to being sensitive. “So what do you want to do tonight?” Maggie asks. “Should we let Micah experience one of Talon’s parties?”
I really don’t want to see Talon again today. I’m embarrassed for being a total bitch when all he was trying to do was show that he cared. “Nah, why don’t we order dinner in and just veg out with a good movie.”
Maggie looks to Micah and Micah replies, “Whatever you girls want, I’m game.”
“Cool, it’s settled,” I say with an excited smile.
The three of us decide on Chinese and order a chick flick. We laugh hard. It’s just what the doctor ordered. When it’s over, Maggie kisses everyone goodnight, and Micah leaves to take a shower.
It’s 11:23 p.m., but I’m not tired yet. I pull my iPad off the c
offee table and start surfing the web. Ten minutes in, Talon is FaceTiming me. I touch the green circle, and his perfectly handsome face pops up. “Hey, you didn’t come tonight. I missed you.”
I smile big because I like the thought that he truly does miss me. I can hear an overall hum of muffled voices and notice the background is his bedroom; barely any lights are on. Clearly tons of people are still over. My mind starts conjuring up how many girls came over to see Talon tonight and whether any got lucky. “I didn’t feel like going out. I just had a little date night around the house.”
Talon’s voice changes from joyful yearning to deeply chafed. “Lo, who was that guy that just walked behind you in a fucking towel?”
I rubberneck down the hall to see the tail end of Micah entering the kitchen. “Oh, that’s Micah. So did you have a big turnout tonight?”
On his way back, Micah leans over the back of the sofa and lays a kiss on my cheek.
“Goodnight, babe,” he says, walking away.
“Night,” I throw back.
“Did that son of a bitch just kiss you?”
I don’t like Talon’s tone, and my expression changes from calm to defensive. “What crawled up your ass tonight? Did you not get any pussy?” I immediately want to take it back. I really don’t want to know that answer.
His body flinches from my hit, and shock and disbelief splash across his face. He gapes at me as if I’m nuts and that isn’t his MO. A faint knock comes from his door, and a beam of light spills in with the entrance of a tall slender body. Talon doesn’t move, doesn’t greet her, and sure as hell doesn’t kick her out, but she wobbles over to him and drapes her slender self around his shoulders. I can’t get a good view of her except for her disheveled hair, droopy bloodshot eyes, and skanky red tube top. Talon’s eyes drop down and his face looks bored.
“Tal-on, are you coming back to the par-dy? You’re missing all the fun,” she slurs, trying to nuzzle her face in the crook of his neck.
He pulls away while pushing at her head. “Yeah, I’ll be right there”—with a pause, his eyes come back to me and he says vindictively—“babe.” The floozy giggles with delight and flops her flimsy body on his bed, getting cozy in his pillow. Ew.