by Rue, Rebekah
Rubbing the scruff on his tight jaw, Heath tilts his head and gives me a quirk of an eyebrow to continue. Taking a steadying breath, I proceed, unclasping my bra, keeping my hands over the cups so each one of the straps teasingly droops down my arms. Gradually, I pivot my back to him and peek over my shoulder, smiling, just to provoke him. Provoke him it does. His chest is rising and falling harder now. His hands are doing this pill-rolling movement like they itch to grab, but I want him manic. As I turn my head forward to remove my bra, Heath swiftly slides up behind me, immediately cupping my breasts. “Let me take these off your hands.” His voice is all gravelly now at my ear. The ridges of his defined chest push into my back and his height gives him the advantage to fold over me. “I think you forgot something.” Warms hands move to my hips, and a big finger runs around the inner band of my panties. “These will need to come off.”
Yes, take them. Rip them; burn them; just get them off now.
Heath walks me forward until my palms are flat against the Corian island. “Don’t move these.” One of the side drawers opens, and next I feel thin cool metal blade along my hip. Before I know it, my panties are gone and his hands cuffed down over my wrists. His lips are all over me, his solid provoked cock working its way between my thighs. With his knees, he parts my legs, and that is all the room he needs. Flesh penetrates tight flesh, constricting with every move. Pleasure spreads through my entire body as my hips rock with his uncontrollably. Moaning out, I can’t describe what he’s doing to me. I’m slipping from reality, letting sensations take over when—
“FUUUUCK!!” He growls and it’s not from his release.
Chapter 20-sex
Lo
I toss my head up and glance out the curtain-less windows that look out to the front of the house. Heath doesn’t slow down or even stop. He thrusts up into me harder, deeper as if doing so is somehow going to keep Talon from walking up those front steps and interrupting us. My legs begin to shake as I try to wiggle away, but he effectively keeps my wrists pinned and relentlessly continues to pound me from behind in carnal hot bursts. With all his strength, Heath rams his cock in once more deep, holding our position firmly, taking his time to shoot his semen inside me.
For the next eleven seconds, his lips are pressed hard at my temple next to my eye. Eleven seconds is how long it takes for him to finish out his fuck. As soon as his dick stills, he releases my hands. They retract in shame and cover my face.
“Choose right now! Him or me, it’s simple,” he harshly whispers in my hair. “You’re going to need these. Cover up.” A bundle of my clothes hits me in my calves and falls at my feet. Kill me! Dead is what I’m going to need to be after I watch these two rip each other to shreds. Shit, shit, shit, what have I done? Breathe . . . and think.
Hide. Hide Heath. That’s my only option. “Heath, you gotta hide—” I spin around, but the last few words die when I see he’s already disappeared.
Knock, knock, knock. Three knocks make me want to cry. “Lo? Baby, you in there?”
Oh God! Choose. A wave of guilt and anxiety forces me to move. Bra, shirt, shorts get smoothed out as if they never came off, minus the panties. No, no panties. Where are the panties? Damn. I look around, not finding them. Knock, knock, knock. Three more.
For far too long, I stare at the door, willing him to leave, but minutes tick by, and the knocking gets harder, along with Talon trying to catch a glimpse of anything through the glass on the front door. “Hello?”
Choose. I shake out my hands and inhale a deep breath. When I finally open the door, acting like I’m surprised, my soul nearly cracks. How did things get so messy? We stare at each other for some tense seconds before Talon places a hand on the front door and pushes it open. “Can I come in?” His eyes look lost yet wild, scanning the room over my head quickly then softening when they land back on me. I step back out of the way when Talon walks in. He has an agenda, it’s clear, and he isn’t going to think about leaving until he tells me. This I know.
He’s jumpy, twitchy; he’s still lit on something.
“Talon, are you okay? Are you on something?”
Whether he realizes it or not, his left hand jumps up and rubs the center of his chest. “Yes, baby, but I’m fine. I took a little something to calm my nerves to get me through the plane ride.” Filling my space, Talon cautiously wraps his arms around my waist, making me slightly uncomfortable. “I didn’t go. For you, I didn’t go. I could never choose anything over you. You come first.” Choose. There was that word again.
Another arm comes around my shoulders and tightens into a hug, my head pressed between his pecs. “Hug me, babe. Hug me.” Talon readjusts my hands tighter, trying to mold us together. “There’s so much I’m sorry for.” He upturns my face, trying to focus on my eyes, but he can’t. Without warning, Talon aggressively smooshes our mouths together, sloppily showing me all he’s sorry for. I wither and shift to break away. “I’m learning to love. Don’t give up on me,” he cries through our lips. His tears wet my cheeks and the salt stings around my lips. He’s crying, which he’s never done. My distaste for him softens to sadness. Even though the end will happen, it can’t happen right now. I can’t break it off; he’ll barely remember a word I say. Over time the part of me that needs Talon slowly disintegrates; bouts of being with Heath make me forget long enough to realize what I need.
“Talon, stop,” I squeak out between breaths, but he keeps kissing me with a fever. In the back of my head, I keep envisioning Heath watching this. Any minute he’ll come from the living room and kill Talon.
“Let me make love to you.” Pinching my nipples too hard, he uses his strength to lay me down right in the middle of the entryway, though I fight to stay upright.
“No, no!”
Just then heavy banging comes from the front door again and everything stops.
“You expecting someone?” His brows are pinched, and as if a switch has been flipped, he’s suddenly angry. My breathing is strained as I glare up from his arms. He rights us and flings open the front door to Heath. I nearly eat my stomach. This is it.
“Can I help you?” Talon spits, giving Heath an icy glare. The long pause nearly kills me. Heath appears cool and cautious, briefly inventorying my appearance. I’m shocked to see that my shirt is dislodged and my pants undone. I hadn’t realized he’d gotten that far.
“I’m here for Lo.” My heart is hammering in my chest.
“Yeah . . . okay, I’m her boyfriend, what do you need?” With that, Heath eyes blaze and his chest tightens up.
I need to do something. With the wrong thing said, this could quickly erupt in flames. Placing a hand on Talon’s arm, I jump in. “This . . . this is my contractor who’s been helping refurbish the house.” My eyes plead with Heath not to out us; his are hollowed with hurt. Talon looks at Heath and then back at me.
“Oh,” is all he says.
Heath casually comes in and looks around, putting his body between Talon and me like a shield. My two lovers residing in the same room, how did it ever come to this? “Talon, would you mind going out to my car and bringing in my overnight bag while I show this gentleman what still needs to get done?” The air is tense, and I need to separate them, just as I’d been doing. Living two lives with two different men. It’s all so wrong.
“Sure,” Talon says, sidestepping Heath, lacing our fingers together and leaning in for a kiss: a hard one, one that shows ownership. A loud crash happens behind us, making Talon quickly pull away and look.
“Sorry”—Heath irritatingly apologizes to the broken lamp—“bumped into it.”
Fishing out the keys, I shove them in Talon’s hand and he slowly leaves.
If looks could kill . . . “Were you just going to let him fuck you so easily on this floor?” He’s ice. “You don’t care, do you? You like having us both.” I shake my head and take a step. “Stop!” I did. “I’m so fucking disgusted. That’s what I’m up against? A drug-addict stoner? God!” He rips his hands through his hair. �
�I don’t know what you see in me if that’s what you love.” He lets out a crazy chuckle. “Wait. I have a great idea. Why don’t we complete your fantasy and both of us fuck you silly on the beat-up box spring out back? Maybe do some blow? I bet that will help you choose.”
I open my mouth to defend myself, but he cuts me off. “On second thought, I’m not too interested in this little arrangement any more. I’ve grown bored. I’ll spare you. Don’t choose, because you no longer have that choice.” Vigorously, I shake my head, the surge of tears swelling up. All his beauty hardens with hate. He hates me. I hate me too. My, how the roles have reversed. I’m lost with his words. I’m lost when he embraces my pathetic body one last time, and I know I’ve lost everything when he barely tells me good-bye.
The silence is the very worst.
I’m sick, slowly dying inside. I haven’t heard from Heath in over a month. No texts or pictures, which used to be a daily occurrence. My head hurts; my body aches. I move through life in a daze.
I’m still with Talon, yes, but gradually, we’re forgetting to put forth effort, although, his forgetfulness comes in the form of pills. They are his love now. I should care, I should want to care, but why should I if he doesn’t? He still won’t tell me about his past, he pulls back, and I just can’t relate. At first, he tries hiding his addiction, those stupid white little pills. But then I randomly find them in his cup holder in his car or blatantly on his nightstand. It doesn’t take long for them to o-holy consume him. A new group of guys starts hanging down at Wrecker’s; most I don’t like, mainly because I know their common denominator.
Maggie is out with Bain. It’s a little after 10:30 p.m. when the fifth text comes through my phone.
Hey, where are you?
I treat them all the same: Sasha, Stone, and Trixie.
Lo: Sick, staying put tonight.
I end it with an emoji face that has a thermometer hanging from its lips.
A mixture of replies stream in, ranging from, Man, sucks to be you to Rest up, we’ll miss you.
But one, ever-persistent, always-in-your-face person sends seven texts spaced out over thirty minutes.
Talon: I knew I should have picked you up myself.
I ignored that one.
Talon: When are you gonna change your mind and come?
Lo: Never. Still achy with chills.
Talon: Things are really heating up down here. I wish you’d come. Miss you.
Lo: Lying peacefully in bed. I send sick kisses.
Talon: Trixie said she’ll swing by and pick you up. Hitch a ride and bring my baby to me.
Lo: (emoji sad face) cough, cough.
Talon: Please, babe, you’re breaking my heart. I need you by my side. There’s some pretty stiff competition here tonight.
That’s a shitty play. He knows I’ll always be there for him, but I don’t even know if I can stand on my own two feet. I’m so weak and can’t keep anything nutritious down.
Talon: I can’t be without you. It will only be for a couple of hours. Amy is down here sick. You two could hang together, maybe swap meds.
Lo: Ha-ha. Not funny. Why don’t you come home to me?
Talon: Can’t. I’m sending Stone NOW so be ready. Luv ya.
I know it from the moment I sit in Stone’s passenger seat something isn’t right. That looming feeling only grows as the night goes on. Call it woman’s intuition, if you want. Something is going to go down.
Chapter 27
Talon
Way deep down I knew that wasn’t her contractor. No monogrammed polo shirt or callused hands. Come on! Was she fucking joking?
I might have been high, but I wasn’t blind to the obvious facts or should I say texts. That son of a bitch was romantic! The final slice that severed my main artery was when I happened upon a picture from him, of them together. It made it all very real. Her face said it all. I realize now she wasn’t in love with me. We weren’t two people falling in love. No, we were two people teaching the other how to live again. I see that now.
Slowly, she slipped through my hands, and the tighter I held, the less control I really had. That alone made me angry, feel out of control.
In walk my magic pills. God knows what’s in them and fuck if I care. All I know is they do the trick. They fabricate some semblance of the intense love I once had. Her voice sings a little sweeter, her touch feels a little softer, and every syllable that dances over her lips tells me she loves me over and over. And in the end, that’s the drug I crave. The pills dull me just enough to not care about the other stuff.
Hurt.
It isn’t the future I’m afraid to have with Lo; she could have been the best for me. It’s repeating the past and knowing I’m not the best for her. That scares the hell out of me. So she can have her man on the side as long as I have my part as well. Shamefully, I’ll take any scrap as tiny as it may be. I love her.
The heats are over for the night, and we’re chilling by our cars, making plans. On the outside, I fidget but on the inside, I’m as calm as an ocean breeze since I took two more pills.
“Really? You demanded I come all the way over here for this?” She coughs, glaring down at me. So she can’t see my glazed eyes I quickly sweep her to my side and under my arm.
“I missed you.” Hey, it’s the truth; she’s still pissed.
Lo sits on the hood of my ’stang most of the night, wrapped in her sweatshirt. “Where are you going?” I ask, watching her slide off the hood.
She points in the direction of Sasha and pays me no mind as I go back to talking with my boys.
I don’t pay attention to many details nowadays, only the ones I care about, but somehow Lo has worked herself across the field. As long as I can keep an eye on her . . . Damn, she’s fine—even when sick. Hey, I wonder if she’ll be up for rough sex tonight.
Then…
Sirens. Lights. Red and blue.
Screaming. Yelling. Running.
Cops!
Cops rain down on us at all angles. Chaos is unleashed and one by one people are handcuffed. As fast as I can manage, I push people out of the way, weaving through the bodies, shouting, “Lo!!” But by the time I spot her, it’s too late. We lock sight just as the cuffs are being locked into place, her small arms pinned behind her back. The heavy weight of dread settles in my stomach when she locks eyes with me and shakes her head in disappointment.
No. “Take me! Take me instead!” I yell over and over, running to them, but abruptly a large arm tightly snakes around my neck in a choke hold. I fight, but the bulky arm fights better. That bulky arm doesn’t have drugs lacing his blood stream, weighing him down.
“Don’t resist! Cease now!”
I can’t let them take me. I have to get to Lo. Digging deep down, I use my last bit of strength. The next second my world blurs as the cop twists me in a manner that brings me into submission. “Stop fighting me!”
Hutch? I’m looking into Hutch’s eyes.
“Why haven’t you been answering your phone? I called you a dozen times to warn you that this was coming.” Hutch lets me get my bearings.
“They got Lo!” Just then my eyes spot that same burly officer escorting her to the cruiser.
“Where?” I point in the vicinity. “Damn.” He curses.
I know that’s not good. I take off running again, but Hutch stops me from getting far. “Let me go!”
“No, he’ll arrest you too.”
“I don’t care!”
“You won’t get to be with her; it’s pointless. You’ll be more help to her out of jail. He’ll book her, and she’ll most likely be out in twenty-four hours.” Reality comes back to me real fast. It’s too late to save her. All I can do is watch her tears fall through the back window until the squad car drives away.
Our run is over. I can see it with every tear she sheds that she’s done with me. I’ve failed yet another person I love.
Lo
Fingerprinted.
Photographed. And something shy of being
strip-searched with a side of frisking.
There are ten of us in here.
This is the hardest bench I’ve ever sat on. They probably made them that way so my stay is so miserable that I’ll plead guilty just to find mercy. With each breath, I grow more apprehensive.
It’s over with Talon! I’m so pissed!
I don’t care if he’s in the next cell over or in his stupid comfortable bed. I want to say so many mean things to him. I want to wrap my hands around that asshole’s neck, but instead, I just keep quiet and watch the feet as they pass by.
He’s the reason I’m here—that bossy-ass shithead. Anger isn’t a common emotion for me, but he’s had a good hand in stringing it out lately. I won’t live in an unhealthy relationship where he tells me who I am. I’m closing that door.
I don’t know this process, only that you get one phone call. One phone call that has to count. Choose correctly. Choose. I’m gonna lose it if I hear that word again.
“Knight!” The guard calls out and I spring to my feet. “You’re up.” Guard man guides me by my bicep to a row of pay phones. “One call and ten minutes is all you have.”
I hold the greasy-looking phone close enough to my ear to hear but not touch it and carefully punch in each number so as not to mess up. Ring after ring my heart beats faster. “Please pick up,” I whisper. By the fourth ring, it goes to voicemail. “You’ve reached Heath. I’m not around; leave a message.”
No, no, no, no, no goes through my head as I’m put back in my holding cell with no answers. Eighteen more hours is enough time for my anger to cool and to reminisce on all my losses and gains. Before I was like a bird whose wings were clipped all those years. Suddenly those feathers grew back and I was thrust out of my cage. Fly or die.