I Am Free

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I Am Free Page 6

by Regina Bartley


  “Be right back.” She called over her shoulder as she walked off.

  I watched her as she walked away. I wished her skirt had been a little tighter so I could see a hint of what her body looked like. There was no way of knowing with that garbage sack she was wearing.

  Kennedy leaned across the table and in a hushed but aggravated tone she said, “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Getting some much needed help with this paper.”

  “Bullshit. I know your intentions involve more than studying.”

  “I’m not going to deflower her. I’m going to get an A on this damn paper, and I’m going to stare at her while I do it.”

  “God you’re such a douche Jackson. She’s an innocent girl who doesn’t need your kind trying to persuade her otherwise.” Her jaw was clinched and there was an evil look in her eyes.

  “I’m glad you think so little of me. Damn Kennedy. I know she’s different. I’m not going to cross any lines with her, so please just shut the fuck up about it. I really have to pass this class. My scholarship is on the line. She’s willing to help and I’m taking it. Even if I did have to twist her arm to do it.” I said in anger.

  I could see her facial expression ease up. “Well,” she faltered. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

  “I won’t. I have a girlfriend.”

  “Yeah. Right. Girlfriend.” She rolled her eyes as she walked away.

  She really thinks so little of me, and I guess she has good reason. But it pisses me off. I wouldn’t mess with some innocent girl just to get my kicks. This paper meant basketball or no basketball.

  9

  Grace

  “What was I thinking?” I whispered to myself as I walked up to the phone behind the desk. A boy. Coming to my house. One little pouty whine and I agreed, like and idiot. I liked to help people, and I felt so sorry for him. His pitiful story about his scholarship sucked me right in. But what if he was lying? Would he lie to me? I mean I didn’t even know him. I didn’t know what his intentions were or if he was telling me the truth.

  “Stop it.” I quietly said to myself. He’s Kennedy’s brother. It would be harmless. He really needed my help.

  I picked up the phone and dialed the number to Aunt Darcy’s cell. She answered on the first ring.

  “Hello.” She said.

  “Aunt Darcy.”

  “Hey Grace. Is everything okay.”

  “Uh, yeah.” I paused for a minute. “Do you remember me telling you about Kennedy’s brother Jackson. He was the guy whose coat I wore home yesterday.”

  “Of course. The crush.”

  I could hear her smiling on the other end of the line.

  “Yep, that’s the one.”

  “What about him?” She asked.

  “He has a paper that’s due tomorrow that he needs help on. I kind of told him that I would help¸ but that was before I realized that it was due tomorrow. So I was wondering if he could come to the house for us to work on it.”

  “A study session huh.”

  “Yes. If that’s a problem I can let him know.”

  “Oh honey it’s not a problem. I don’t mind at all. You are eighteen. I told you this was your house and you could do as you pleased.”

  Aunt Darcy was always so nice to me, and I loved her for it.

  “I know. I just didn’t want to bother you.” I replied.

  “No bother at all dear.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be home soon.”

  “Can’t wait to see the hottie,” she teased.

  “Oh dear.”

  “No worries. I won’t embarrass you. I swear.”

  “See you soon.” I giggled.

  “Bye dear.”

  I hung up the phone and took a deep breath. This would be the first time I’d ever had a boy in my house, also the first time being alone with one. Well, besides my dad and brother. This was big. My heart was racing. I had to keep telling myself that this was no big deal.

  I walked back to the table where Jackson was buried deep inside his books. He didn’t even hear me walk up.

  “Jackson.” I called out his name.

  “Shit,” he called out. “I didn’t know you were standing there.” Shit must’ve been his favorite word.

  “Sorry.” I apologized.

  He waved his hand as if not to worry.

  “I spoke with my aunt and she said it’d be fine for us to work on your paper.”

  I saw his shoulders sag in relief. “Awesome. Thank you. You don’t know what this means to me.”

  “You’re welcome. I have to get back to work. I have lots of stuff to do before we close.”

  The next hour flew by. I checked out the last few people and finished off my checklist of things to do. Kennedy finished putting the last of the books back and we walked out together, with Jackson following us.

  “Why don’t you ride with me to drop Kennedy off at home, and then you can show me where you live.” Jackson suggested.

  I wanted to politely decline, but I really had no reason. I nodded my head and followed them to the car. Once the door was unlocked, I slid myself into the back seat and fastened my seat belt.

  “How are you liking things so far?” Kennedy asked from the seat in front of me.

  “I’m adjusting I guess.” I looked up from my hands to see Jackson glance back at me.

  “You should come hang out with me and my friends sometime.”

  I wondered if she was talking about the same friends who looked at me like I had two heads the other night at the movies. If that were the case then I’d pass.

  “Or the two of us could just hang out.” She said, when I hadn’t replied.

  “Sure. Sounds like fun.” I smiled. “Is it just the two of you guys or do you have more brothers and sisters?” I asked turning the conversation to them.

  “We have another brother. Tucker is older though, he doesn’t live at home.” Kennedy answered.

  I let out a soft snicker.

  “What’s so funny?” Jackson asked.

  “I just figured if you had another sibling that their name would be Lincoln or something.” I laughed. Truthfully, I cracked myself up.

  Kennedy leaned her head around the seat and gave me a funny look. Maybe it was because I had a weird laugh, because honestly I did.

  “Sorry.” I said, covering my mouth.

  She busted out laughing, and shook her head. “We’ve heard that a time or two. Right Jack.”

  Jackson smiled back at me. “Tucker is sort of the black sheep.” He admitted. “His name is fitting.”

  We pulled into a long driveway that led to a two-story home that could only be described as mansion like. It was huge. I’d seen homes like this before, but never knew the people that lived inside. It was almost dark out, but with the fancy lighting outside I could plainly see the place and just how beautiful it was.

  I was still gawking out the window when Kennedy tapped on it from outside. “Nice place.” I said as I opened the door.

  “Thanks. You can get up front now.”

  I closed my door and grabbed her door that she was standing next too it.

  “I won’t be at work for the next couple of days, so I guess I’ll see you Sunday.” She said.

  “Okay. Have a good weekend.”

  “You too,” she winked before walking away.

  “You getting in.” Jackson called out.

  I moved swiftly inside and shut the door. I still could not take my eyes off of their house. I swear my head was glued to the window. The second story had a huge balcony that overlooked the front yard. It had a really pretty white railing on it that looked like it was carved in some intricate design, and I wondered what it would look like up close.

  I heard Jackson chuckle from the seat next to me.

  “I’ll take you in for a tour next time.” He said.

  I looked over his face and then back to the house. Next time, I wondered. “Okay,” was my only response as we backed out to leave?

&nbs
p; The drive was quiet as we made our way back through town and past the library.

  “It’s only about two more blocks from here.”

  “Okay,” he replied.

  We passed through the last stop sign and I pointed to Aunt Darcy’s place. “Just there.”

  He pulled his car up to the curb and parked directly behind Aunt Darcy.

  The quietness between us was a bit unnerving. It didn’t calm my already upset stomach. It made it worse. He followed me up the broken pathway and onto the porch. I used my key to open the door, and walked us inside.

  “This is nice.” He said.

  “Thanks.” I said. “We can study in the kitchen.”

  “Sounds good.” He followed me there.

  “Aunt Darcy,” I called out.

  “Coming dear.” She yelled from the back room.

  Jackson stood stoic in the doorway of the kitchen, never saying a word. He seemed much more relaxed then me.

  “You can sit your stuff down over on the table. Would you like something to drink?”

  “Water would be good.”

  “Sure.” I grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge.

  “Hey guys,” Darcy said as she walked into the kitchen. She pulled me into a brief hug, which still felt awkward to me. I didn’t know if I’d ever get used to it.

  “This is Jackson.” I introduced him as he walked from around the table and held out his hand.

  “Nice to meet you Jackson. I’m Darcy, Grace’s aunt.” She smiled and took his hand.

  “Nice to meet you.” He replied.

  “I’ll let you guys study. I’m going to be doing some laundry, so if it gets too noisy then you all can study in your room.” She glanced up at me.

  “Ooookay.” I said not meaning to sound like an idiot.

  She gave me a big, goofy grin. “Nice to meet you Jackson. Hopefully I’ll see you again some time.” She called out over her shoulder as she walked back down the hall.

  “You too.” He said back to her.

  “Sorry about that.” I said.

  “She seems nice.”

  “She really is.”

  “So where is the rest of your family? I mean your mom and dad.” He questioned as we took our seats at the table.

  “My mom, dad, and brother all live in Oklahoma.”

  He eyebrows peeked with curiosity. “So what made you want to move here?”

  “It’s really complicated. I just needed to get away.”

  He obviously sensed my unease. “Sorry.” He said solemnly.

  I shook my head and brushed it off, because he would’ve had no idea the complications that my past held. He was just striking up conversation.

  We spent the next hour and a half talking about Jane Eyre and it had taken me that long to break down the story. We hadn’t even touched on really writing the paper yet. It was going to be a long night.

  “It sounds like a really sad story.” He said, catching me off guard.

  I felt myself being sucked in by his words. His curiosity. He had really been listening as I was rambling on and on about the book, and there was such sadness behind his eyes. I barely knew this guy, but one thing I did know was that I’d never seen this kind of emotion from him before, or any emotion for that matter. He seemed like the type that wouldn’t let down his guard, so strong and outspoken. He had never been this real with me.

  I liked it.

  It made him appear not to be so masculine.

  His smile stretched wide across his face when he caught me really staring at him. It embarrassed me a little, but I shook it off.

  “It is sad.” I responded. “But it’s also classic love at its best.”

  I leaned back in my chair and stretched my arms wide over my head. We’d been sitting there for a long time and muscles had grown stiff.

  “Do you want to take a break?” He asked.

  “Yes,” I said too quickly, causing him to laugh.

  We stood up from our chairs and walked back to the patio. It was my favorite place. His hand gently brushed the small of my back as we maneuvered around the patio furniture. My body tightened, because I wasn’t expecting the small gesture. I hoped he didn’t notice my frigidness.

  I found myself watching him as his arms stretched high above his head. His shirt slowly rose up and I could see the tanned, tight skin underneath.

  “Like what you see?” He asked.

  “Uh,” I choked and looked anywhere but at him.

  “I’m teasing you.” His hand caught my elbow and I looked back at him.

  “Right.” I said. Teasing me.

  My face was probably lit up red, but I tried to hide it. There were so many emotions going on in my head, and all of them led back to this one guy. I stared ahead and didn’t say anything more. I just wanted to get this night over with and mark it down as a mission accomplished. Well, sort of. I laughed out loud at my thoughts, and hoped that he wouldn’t read too much into it. He seemed to analyze my every move, and it was intense at times. So much so, that it would leave me flustered and withdrawn. I was acutely unaware of the emotions he brought out in me, and scared to say the least.

  10

  Jackson

  “Do you always wear skirts like that?” I asked pointing at the yellow and white skirt that flowed around her ankles.

  “Yeah.”

  “Never pants, or jeans,” I eyed her curiously.

  “No.”

  “Why?” My tone sounded a bit more clipped than I expected. I wasn’t trying to push. I was just curious.

  “It’s just the way I was raised. I don’t know. No one has ever asked me before.” She said.

  “Do you want to wear something different?” I asked.

  She let out a soft laugh, and I loved it. I loved hearing her laugh. It was so hearty and deep, so much different than you would expect from looking at her.

  “No I don’t. I like how I look and what I wear. It doesn’t bother me, so I never care if it bothers anyone else. People have always looked at me differently. I don’t plan on changing myself just to please other people. I am what I am.”

  “So you don’t care what anyone thinks of you.”

  “Nope.” She smiled. “Come on. We better get back to work.”

  “Yeah okay.”

  She was so different. I’m not even sure different was the right word for her. She was bold in her own way. She wasn’t like any of the girls I’d ever been around before. Never had I ever heard a girl say that they didn’t care what other people thought of them. It was just weird, and it didn’t go unnoticed that she was so uptight around me either. She flinched every time I touched her, but for some reason I couldn’t stop touching her. I found every excuse to do it.

  Earlier while I listened to her talk about Jane Eyre I was so engrossed in everything that she said. I never once thought about anything else. But the moment she’d quit talking, I would find myself staring at her lips, or her eyes, or the tiny little lines on her forehead. She really was beautiful.

  “Do you mind if we move upstairs now? These chairs really hurt my ass.”

  Her eyes grew wide.

  “I just want comfort. That’s all. Hell the couch would be fine with me.”

  “We can go upstairs.” She pushed in her chair and started out of the kitchen. I followed closely behind her.

  She reached for and turned on the light inside her bedroom. I was surprised at the sight of it. The walls looked freshly painted and there was nothing hung on them. The dresser was bare, and even the floors.

  “Are you sure this is your room?” I asked, looking around.

  She nodded and a wide smile spread across her face.

  “Grace… The room is empty.”

  “And,” she said.

  “And it looks like you moved out, not in.” I admitted.

  “I don’t have much stuff.”

  “You don’t have anything.”

  I walked over to her full size bed and laid down my things on the light gray
comforter. Her bed was freshly made, not a wrinkle in it. She was truly baffling me in every way.

  “Look Jackson, I know we don’t know each other well, but what you see is what you get with me. I’m just a simple kind of girl. This is the way I dress; this is the way I live.” She said as she pointed around the room. “I’m not ashamed. I like it this way.” She confessed. “Honestly I don’t know any other way. I’ve had nothing to compare my life too.”

  I bit down hard on the inside of my jaw as I thought about what she was saying. I guess I wasn’t too far off with my “Little House on the Prairie” theory.

  “I get it Grace. It’s not a big deal. I’ve just never known anyone quite like you. That’s all. If this is what you like then great. I’ll try not to be so hard on you. I like to joke and mess around. That’s all.” I hoped that she wasn’t taking me too seriously. She really seemed nice a different and I felt comfortable around her, like I didn’t have to try so hard. I could just be myself.

  She smiled. “I get that. I’ve been around you long enough now to realize that.” Her laughter filled the room. “I just wanted you to know. You can make assumptions or joke all you want. I can take it. I’m a big girl.”

  “Yes you are.” And she was all right. “Now lets get this paper done.”

  “Yes. Let’s…”

  I watched her as she slipped off her little white shoes and socks and climbed up on the bed. She had the tiniest little feet. She had to be tiny under that skirt. I bet she had a kicking little body too, all tight and shit. I had to shift around to keep from growing an erection in front of her innocent eyes.

  It took us two more hours to finish the paper but we did it, and damn it, I was impressed. This was a good paper, and I had her to thank for it. She helped me in every way. She was a great teacher. There was no way that I was ever going to read Jane Eyre, but truthfully she made it very interesting for me. Something I never thought would happen. Hell, I wouldn’t even take literature under normal circumstances. My counselor suggested it. She said it’d be easy. I did like to read, but only things with adventure and action.

  My phone rang from inside my backpack and I fished it out to see who it was. When I saw Holly’s name on the screen I quickly hit reject and tossed it back in. I had spent the last three hours in a whiny free zone. I couldn’t handle her. The bitching and complaining would be too much for me to take. For the moment, I was enjoying the peacefulness of Grace’s company.

 

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