I could get used to those lips on mine.
Seriously, I could.
18
Jackson
I didn’t want to leave Grace at her Aunt’s house after what had happened earlier, but I had to get to weight training. She told me it was okay. Her father wasn’t there. So I left her, but not without a goodbye kiss. I was sinking myself in deeper and deeper with her, to the point that it scared me.
I’d never been kissed like that. There was so much feeling and she was the most delicate girl I’d ever touched. She was like a piece of forbidden fruit. Then when she admitted that it was her first kiss, I almost lost it. It was the hottest thing ever, but at the same time it brought me back to the thoughts of her innocence. How the two of us were worlds apart? She was good, like goodie two shoes good. I decided that at weight training I would feel out the guys about her. Just see what they thought and if any of them could see past her differences.
It was a bad idea all around, because the moment I mentioned her they started with the jokes. They made fun of her. They called her plain Jane, even made jokes about how she was as pure as holy water. Hell, I even laughed at that one.
My thoughts were all over the place. I couldn’t figure out one side from the next, and with basketball about to start full swing I just couldn’t afford the distractions. Not from anyone.
Even Holly.
Fourteen new texts today, and all of them were from her. She was becoming unbearable, and I couldn’t take it.
As soon as training was over, and I’d gotten back to my car I called her. Of course she answered on the first ring.
“Where have you been all day? I tried to call you several times.” She nagged. It took her two point five seconds to start in on me.
“We need to talk.”
“About what?” She asked. “About how you never call me back, or how you don’t answer a single one of my texts.”
I growled and slammed my hand down on the steering wheel. I was going to ask to go over to her house and talk, but fuck that shit. I couldn’t handle her whining and her bitching and complaining.
“I want to break up.” I said. Just like that. I was over it.
“You are not serious Jackson. Quit acting like this, I’m the best thing that has ever happened to you.” She yapped in the highest voice possible.
I wanted to scream back at her, but I didn’t. I just bit my tongue and let her rant and rave for five minutes.
“Are you done? I have to get home, and I am not arguing with you. I told you I want to break up and I’m serious. I can barely keep up with school and basketball. I don’t have time for a relationship.” I admitted, and that was the truth. Well, part of the truth.
“You’ll regret this.”
Ha, that wasn’t happening. “I don’t think so. Bye Holly.” I hung up the phone and threw it into the seat, but not before putting it on silent. I had a bad feeling that she would keep calling back until I answered and I wasn’t in the mood.
I needed to be all work and no play now. The season was starting and I didn’t have time for the drama. No matter how much Grace was on my mind, I couldn’t let her get me off track either. For some reason I kept finding myself being pulled in her direction. Most of the time I felt completely helpless when my mind would wander to her. It had to stop.
I would just keep telling myself that, even though I knew it was a big fat lie.
Now after that kiss, I’d have to work double overtime to keep her out of my head. Maybe it was because secretly I really wanted her there.
19
Grace
I was nervous about going back into Aunt Darcy’s. I was afraid that my dad would be lurking somewhere in the shadows waiting to scold me for being the world’s worst child. Followed by a long truck ride back home to my nightmarish childhood.
I found Darcy in the kitchen drinking coffee at the table. She looked frazzled and tired. It had surely been a long day for her. Five minutes with my father would have made for a long day.
“Hey,” she spoke as I walked into the room.
I pulled out the chair across the table from her and sat down.
“Hey.” I said in a low sad voice. “I’m so sorry.”
“Oh no honey. There is no need for you to be sorry. That man is a hard ass all on his own. You don’t have to make excuses for him.”
“I know, but it’s all my fault that he came. I should have never run away from home the way I did.”
“Technically you didn’t run away Grace. You’re eighteen years old. You were free to leave home at anytime. You didn’t need his permission. I have to know though,” she paused and reached her hand over to touch mine. “What really happened? Please tell me, because I have a feeling that it was bad. I need to know.”
Was I ready to talk about?
Absolutely not, but I knew that I had to. She has been nothing but good to me. I owed her that much. I just wondered if she was really ready to hear the details. This was her brother, and though she despised him, I wasn’t sure if she could really handle the truth.
I took a deep breath and looked to her for comfort. I wouldn’t tell her everything just the most important thing.
“There was one really bad time. I don’t like to talk about it, but I will for you.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You know that he’s strict, and you know that he’s mean. The one time that has stuck with me is when he beat me in the shed and left me there bleeding.”
Aunt Darcy sucked in a hard breath, as the tears streamed down her face.
“I was caught in very little clothing, when the girl next door to us ran off with my clothes while I was swimming. He didn’t like that my skin was showing, and he wanted to make sure that I never did it again.” The words came out of my mouth so fast. It was like someone had knocked the breath right out of me.
“My God Grace.” She shook her head. “How old were you?”
“Fifteen,” I replied.
She wiped her fingers under her eyes and shook her head. “How bad?”
I gave her a confused look.
“How bad was the beating?” She asked.
I stood up and turned around where my back was facing her. I un-tucked the shirt from inside my skirt and with both hands I raised it up. The scars were visible to her.
“You have to be fucking kidding me right now.” She yelled out. I heard the chair scoot out from the table as she came around to get a closer look. “This is not okay Grace.” She cried out.
I felt her arms rest on my shoulders, and her body began to shake. Her head came to rest on my back and the sobs came tumbling out of her. It shook my whole body as she cried, and I couldn’t find the strength to keep it together. I cried too.
I don’t know why. I thought that I’d already cried enough over this, but her tears brought out my tears.
I turned around to face her and she pulled me in for the tightest hug. “I’m so sorry. God I’m sorry.” She said over and over. Her words only made me cry harder. “You won’t ever go back to that. Do you hear me?”
All I could do was nod. There was no way I could get the words out, if I tried.
“You are eighteen years old, and you don’t have to go back with him. I will not let you go back. It was wrong what he did. It was evil.” There was anger in her words. Not towards me, but towards my father. He deserved the anger, because he was mean and cruel.
We stayed locked in each other’s arms and continued to cry until there were no more tears left. Then we spent the rest of the night on the couch with a bucket of ice cream and the worst/best reality T.V. marathons that we could find.
I am Free
Two weeks had passed since my father came to town. The phone calls didn’t stop though. He called many times and yelled at Darcy. I felt horribly guilty for the pain that he was causing her. I knew that it was my fault. He wouldn’t stop until he found me, but I couldn’t bear to face him yet. Strong or not, I had just trudged up the past with Aunt Darcy, and I knew that faci
ng him would break me completely.
Kennedy had been calling and stopping by as often as she could to check on me. She changed her schedule around at the library so that the two of us would have more shifts together. It was nice. She did everything she could to keep my mind off of the situation, including a slumber party at my house with hours of T.V. I loved her even more for it.
Jackson on the other hand had somehow caught the plague. It was the only explanation I could give myself for the reason he never called or came by. I never saw him at the library either. He’d fallen off the face of the earth or got sucked in the black hole. Maybe basketball was taking all of his time, or maybe he truly didn’t want to see me. Either way, I didn’t like the way it made me feel. I thought the two of us were going to be a lot closer after our day spent on the campus or after the kiss we shared. Guess I was wrong?
I guess leopards can’t change their spots.
I will cross off being played in my little book, and try and move forward. There were too many things for me to be grateful for.
Who was I kidding? I wouldn’t be able to get Jackson or that kiss out of my mind no matter how hard I tried. Every poem that had been written since our kiss had been about him. I had the lovesick blues bad. I wouldn’t tell Kennedy that though.
After my long shift at work, I came home to find a message on the table.
Grace,
I’m gone to Paul’s and won’t be home tonight, but you can call me anytime on my cell if you need me. There is some cash in the jar on top of the microwave if you need it, and left overs in the refrigerator. Call me for ANYTHING! Also, a guy named Preston called for you. He sounded cute. Make sure you call him back.
Love you,
Darcy
I laughed at her note.
Under her scribbled handwriting was Preston’s phone number and a smiley face. I wondered what he wanted. I hadn’t spoken to him in a while. Our last date or double date I should say went really good. He was so nice.
I picked up the phone and dialed his number.
“Hello,” his voice came over the line.
“Hey Preston it’s Grace.”
“Grace,” I could hear a smile in his voice. “I’m so glad that you called me back. I’ve been so busy lately and I’m sorry I haven’t called sooner.”
“That’s okay. What’s up?” I asked and smirked. As soon as those words left my mouth, I knew that I sounded just like Kennedy.
“I was hoping that the two of us could get together tonight for dinner. If you want?” He asked.
“Ugh,” I stuttered over my words. “Just the two of us?”
I could hear a faint laughter from him through the phone. I must have sounded like a complete idiot.
“I was kind of hoping it would just be the two of us.”
I sat there for a moment not saying anything. This would be a real date. Not that the others weren’t real, but this would be different. The word “alone” was flashing through my head like a Las Vegas street sign.
“Oh, uh.” I struggled.
“Unless you don’t want to.” He said quickly.
“No, I do. I’m sorry. I’d love to.” I replied, trying to hide the nerves from my voice.
“Good, okay. I’ll pick you up at seven?”
“Sure, that sounds good.”
“See you then.”
“Bye.”
I hung up the phone.
Holy moly. I was going on a date. Alone. In one hour.
I picked up the phone and dialed Kennedy as fast as my fingers could dial.
As soon as she answered I cut her off instantly.
“No time for small talk Mrs. President. I have a date with Preston in one hour. Alone.”
“Shit, no way.”
“Yes way.” I nodded my head even though she couldn’t see me through the phone.
She laughed loudly into my ear. “Well sister, you’re on your own on this one. I can’t come and lend a hand because I am buried under a pile of homework. Besides you don’t need me. Wear that light blue skirt and the cute white top that Darcy got you, and don’t forget your lipstick.”
“What am I going to say? What will he talk about? What if he wants things from me, like romance kind of things?” All of my words slurred together.
“Grace! Calm down. It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. That’s the good thing about having a vagina.”
“Don’t say vagina.” I replied.
“Well I’m not calling it a monkey. I refuse.”
I sighed. She was insatiable.
“Just be yourself and have fun.” She said.
“Okay, but be ready for a long phone conversation when it’s over.”
“I’m here for you babe.”
“I better go get ready.” I sounded far from enthused.
“Have fun.” She said and the line went dead.
The nerves had set in and I was not at all ready for this date. I hoped that our conversations would be as easy as before, not complicated because we were alone. I didn’t want there to be awkwardness between the two of us. Preston seemed like a really nice guy. I mean, he’s no Jackson, but I can’t compare the two. They are night and day. One guy likes me and wants to spend actual time with me, while the other is on the fence. One day Jackson likes me, and the next day he doesn’t. I can’t make him want to see me or spend time with me, especially when I have someone else who really does want to spend time with me.
There had to be no more Jackson nonsense.
I rushed up the stairs to get ready for my date.
I took Kennedy’s advice and put on my light blue skirt. It only took me about twenty minutes to get ready, so I had to sit for thirty minutes on the couch with butterflies in my stomach. So many thoughts were running through my mind.
Would he be a gentleman? He had been so far.
Would he want more from me? I had no idea.
There were so many unanswered questions. I wondered if this is what all girls went through before a date. I was going to give myself an ulcer just thinking about it.
The knock on the door couldn’t have come at a better time.
I peeked out the side glass to make sure it was him, and it was. Opening the door, I found Preston standing there with a small bouquet of flowers. He looked so cute and sweet standing there. I instantly felt much better.
“You look great.” He said as he handed me the flowers.
“Thank you.” I opened the door wider. “Come in.” I smelled the fresh flowers for a moment. It was very thoughtful. “I’ll just take these to the kitchen, then we can go.”
He waited patiently for me in the living room. His bright smile lit up the place. It made me smile too. I liked the way he felt so comfortable around me. It made such a difference. His confidence was one of the things I liked most about him. He was never ashamed to be seen with me. It was nice.
“I’m ready,” I said once I realized that I had stood there far too long staring at him. He hadn’t noticed that I was, thank goodness.
Once we were inside his car, I finally asked where we were going.
“I thought we’d have dinner, and then we could just take a walk if you want.” He answered as he pulled away from the curb.
“That sounds nice.”
We chatted lightly all the way to dinner. He was so easy to talk to. I don’t know why I had gotten myself all worked up. It was all for nothing. He could easily lead a conversation and I never felt uneasy. Even the silence wasn’t awkward.
The only thing that bothered me was that in those few moments of silence, my mind wandered back to Jackson. No matter how hard I tried to keep him out, he was always there.
Those lips.
Those eyes.
I wondered if for one single moment he thought of me too.
20
Jackson
It’s our last night of freedom before basketball season starts full force. One last hooray and we usually did it up right. I planned on dri
nking until I didn’t know my name, or Grace’s.
Yep, she was still on my mind, every fucking minute of every fucking day.
I thought I could do it, that I could handle whatever was happening between us. I was beyond wrong. It scared the hell out of me. Scared me bad enough to make me run.
Her kiss was like fire and ice. It freaking sucked me in, so bad that I thought I’d die from it. Death from kiss…
Right, like that hasn’t been done before.
How about death from shriveled up balls? That sounded more likely.
I was meeting the guys at the bar for a few drinks before we headed to the park. We always ended Freedom Night with a bonfire and music at the park just outside of town. It was a secluded place where we could do just about anything we wanted, and we never got caught.
Reaching on my nightstand I grabbed my cell phone and my keys. The night was young, and I was ready to kick it with my friends. I wanted a drama free, alcohol filled, night of fun.
I met Jeremy at his house, and left my truck parked in his driveway. By the end of the night, I was hoping that I wouldn’t remember my name let alone be able to drive. He came out of his front door just as I was making my way on to the porch.
“Hey man. Right on time, you ready to go?” He asked.
I nodded. “It’s been a long damn day. I’m ready to blow off some steam.”
“You and me both brother.”
“Are all the rest of the guys meeting us there?” I hadn’t spoke to any of them, so I didn’t know what their plans were.
“Yeah, they’re probably half lit by now. You talked to Holly?”
I groaned.
“Sorry man, I was just wondering.”
“It’s not you. I’m just aggravated. I want to drink away the thought of all females tonight.”
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