by Sara Daniell
My eyes focus on Plath again, but I look away. It’s too hard to see him seated with them.
I look at the man in the middle when he speaks. He’s the same silver haired man that was on the pedestal the other day. “How are you today, my little Vesper? I hope you are finding everything to your liking.” His condescending smile causes anger to consume me.
I feel my face flush as I reply. “I would be feeling much better if I knew the meaning of this meeting.”
I notice Plath close his eyes. The man in the middle stands to his feet and places his hands firmly on the table in front of him. He leans forward and stares deep into my eyes. Plath is about to speak when Nikolai speaks quietly to him. He sighs and sits back down.
Plath looks shocked, which makes me curious. What exactly was just about to happen that the man restrained himself from doing? He looks at me and forces a smile on his face. I smile sweetly back.
“We just want to meet our newest Vesper. By the way, my name is Caym. Are you ready to go on your first job with Vesper #2?” I think about the numbers on the doors and realize Vesper #2 is Kyle. I look at him, and his expression tells me I am now allowed to speak.
“I don’t think I’m ready for anything right now. What sort of job will we be doing?” I wipe the cold sweat from my palms on my pants then clasp my hands politely together in front of me to keep them occupied. Because right now they want to strangle every member of the Constable that is staring down at me right now.
Caym waves his hand in the air, and a white suit appears from out of nowhere. They set a chair behind me and motion for me to sit. I sit down and sit up as straight as I can. He waves again, and the white suit quickly leaves.
“We don’t tell you that information this soon.”
I remind myself to keep sitting up straight because it’s how everyone here sits. But then I wonder why I even care how the people sit here? I slouch again. “Why? Shouldn’t I be prepared?”
He starts laughing and looks to the others at the table who are laughing also. Plath is smiling, but not laughing. Caym looks at me as the laughter subsides. “You are full of questions. And brave.”
I shift nervously in my chair. “I was just asking. How does that label me as brave?”
He gets up from his chair and walks towards me. Once he’s in front of me, he kneels down and firmly grabs my face with both hands. I quickly shift my eyes to Plath and notice his fist clenched tight.
Caym puts more pressure on my face. “You do not question your job, Vesper! You just do it because it’s an order! Calling you brave was not a compliment. It was a warning. Being brave is not a quality I approve of. I suggest that you work on what is and what isn’t acceptable here.” He turns to look at Plath. “Explain what is acceptable here in our home to her, son.” Son? He just called him son! I don’t mean to look at Plath, but I do. He keeps his eyes on his father and nods.
Caym looks back at me and takes one hand from my face, reaching into his pocket. He pulls out a large knife. He motions for Plath to come over here with us. Plath hesitates before getting up but eventually makes his way towards us.
Plath looks at the knife then at his father. “But she’s learning.”
His dad stands up and puts a finger in Plath’s face. “Do not have pity on her!” He hands Plath the knife. “Show her what happens to those who have too many questions.”
I start shifting in my chair, preparing myself to run, but for some reason I don’t. I can’t. I’m stuck here. I look into Plath’s apologetic eyes as he grabs my arm. He pulls me up so that I’m standing close to him. He whispers sorry then stabs me in my side.
Blood begins to pour as he twists the knife. I scream out in pain, and tears pour from my eyes. When he releases the knife, I immediately grab my side and fall to my knees. I’m going to bleed to death. I know it, and I want to. I curse at Plath under my breath and wonder why he keeps betraying me. But then I feel the urge to thank him. He’s ending my life. Maybe he really does care. A foot shoves into my back, and I fall down on the ground.
I look up and see Plath’s father standing over me. He smiles, showing all of his teeth. “You want me to let you die, don’t you?” I nod, and he laughs. “You have officially entered transition. Soon you will be one of us.” He looks away from me.
I close my eyes as I hold my side. My hands are drenched with my own blood, and my vision is blurring. “Son, take her to be treated. I need her well by the end of the week.”
Plath and a couple of white suits come and pick me up. I feel a needle poke into my arm, and it burns as the drug spills into my veins. I’m relieved when the pain stops and everything goes black.
a
Sweat is pouring from every inch of my body. I scream as pain radiates from my side. I try to get up from the bed - unsuccessfully. I notice that I’m back in my room and lay my head back down on the pillow. I place my fist in my mouth and bite down as the pain intensifies.
I try to get up again. I don’t know how I do it, but I manage to get to a standing position. I knock a bunch of stuff off my end table as I grab it for support.
“Shit!”
I stumble around and use the wall as a guide until I make it to the bathroom. I flip on the light. I pull up my shirt as I lean hunched over the sink. My stomach is wrapped in layers of bandages. I pull them off as I scream in pain. After I peel off all the layers, I see stitches. I start pulling them out one by one as quickly as I can, screaming as each one rips my from my skin.
Blood starts oozing out slowly, but the flow becomes heavier and swifter the more I take out, but it’s still not enough. I want to bleed to death. I want to die. I notice the more I move, the more blood spills out. I scream and cry as I make myself move. My vision blurs from the pain, and I fall to the floor, grabbing the shower curtain on my way down.
I see a small bulge on my leg and remember the gun. I desperately try to pull up my pant leg to get the gun. I’m finally able to retrieve the gun with weak hands. I slowly place the barrel to my head. I’ve just clicked off the safety as someone grabs it from me.
“Give it back!” I scream as I try with all the strength I have left to get the gun.
“What the hell are you doing?” Kyle asks while he clicks the safety on then sets the gun on the floor. He nudges it with his foot even further from me.
He kneels down and grabs a towel to apply pressure to my side. I look at him, sweat pouring down my face, and laugh a little. I then start laughing hysterically.
“It hurts so badly!”
“And that’s funny?”
I shake my head and close my eyes. I touch my hand to his hand that is trying to stop the bleeding. I look down at the floor and smile when I see a puddle of blood. “Let me die.” I look directly into his eyes. “Please,” I beg.
“Orion-”
I put my finger to my lips. “Shhh. Go back to your room. I want this. I want it more than anything.”
“Death isn’t allowed here.”
“And neither is living.” My eyes droop closed then pop open again when I hear footsteps and lots of them. “Who’s coming? Who’d you tell?”
Kyle ignores me and looks over his shoulder. “We’re in here!” He stands up and moves out of the way as white suits pile into my room. They insert something into my neck that makes me immediately numb. I can’t even move my eyes.
They’re carrying me somewhere, but nothing is in focus, so I can’t tell which way we are going. I hear Kyle talking; then I hear Marah reply. If only I could understand what they’re saying.
“This will make her sleep,” is that last thing I hear from an unfamiliar voice before my eyes close and everything fades to darkness.
I OPEN MY eyes then quickly close them when the bright florescent lights burn them. I ease them open again and shield my eyes with my hand. I feel something pull my arm and pressure on my chest and legs. I turn my head and hold up my arm to find an IV with dark red blood flowing through the tube and into my veins. I hear whispering and
try to sit up to see who it is. However, sitting up is impossible right now because my legs and chest are strapped to the bed I’m on.
“Who is that talking?” I ask and lift my head a little to attempt to put a face to the whispers. The whispers stop completely, and I don’t see anyone. Maybe no one was in here, and I’m going insane. I laugh out loud at the realization that I’ve been insane for a long time, but I’m a complete freak show now.
“Orion, calm down. You’re making your heart race.” I hear Plath’s voice and swear I just vomited in my mouth at the sound of it.
“Leave,” I get out through a clenched jaw. I want to curse the part of me that wants to ask him to stay.
“I can’t. I’m supposed to sit in here with you until this blood transfusion is over.”
I laugh coldly. “Right, because they want the person who stabbed me to make sure I’m okay.” I turn to look at him which was what I was trying to keep myself from doing.
He looks down at the floor instead of my eyes. He shakes his head. “No. I’m supposed to keep you from trying to sabotage the blood transfusion.”
I turn my head facing up and look at the ceiling. “I’m strapped to a damn table. It’s highly unlikely I’ll be able to do that.”
“You have no idea what you’re capable of, Orion.” I look at him, and our eyes meet but only long enough for us both to regret it. He looks away, and so do I.
“So, how long does this transfusion take?” I close my eyes and take deep breaths to try to keep myself from thinking too much about being strapped to this table. I don’t like being confined.
“Four hours.”
I groan. “How long have I been in here?”
“Two.” I hear him shift around in his chair.
Since we’re in here for two more hours, I might as well try to get some answers out of him. “What did you mean when you said I have no idea what I’m capable of?”
I look over at him before I can talk myself out of it. It’s a huge inconvenience that I find him attractive even after all he’s done. He grins a little then laughs but doesn’t respond. Instead he lays his head back on the chair and closes his eyes.
I sigh heavily. “Fine, asshole.”
I close my eyes and try to forget that he’s in here, but it’s impossible. How can one person affect me so much? And one that I don’t even like? I hate him. I love him. Shit. Damn myself for being such a girl.
Orion!” Sage slaps my face again. “Dammit! Wake up! Don’t do this to me! You can’t do this to me!”
Now she’s shaking me. I want to answer and tell her I’m fine. At least I think I am. I’m not dead. Yet. I try to tell her that I’ll come to in a second, but I can’t. I hear sirens and know the cops aren’t far. I start coughing, and I think I taste blood. How hurt am I? I’m finally able to open my eyes, and when I do, there are blue lights surrounding us.
“Over here!” Sage yells, motioning her hand towards me.
I look over at the man in uniform walking towards me. He kneels down and moves hair from my eyes. “I’m here to help you. My name is Officer Higgins. Can you tell me your name?”
His walkie-talkie goes off, and he turns it down when I cover my ears. The sirens, the noise of cars on the busy street on the other side of the alley… It’s all too much. My head is pounding. I blink a few times and look at Sage who is sitting down with her knees pulled to her chest rocking nervously back-and-forth as she stares at me. I look back at the cop.
“Orion.” I swallow hard. My mouth is so dry. “Orion Draper.”
“Ms. Draper, I have paramedics here to help you. You were shot, and I need you to cooperate and let them help you. All right?”
I nod at Officer Higgins and try to smile at Sage but start coughing again. I wipe my mouth, and when I see blood on the back of my hand, I start freaking out. My breathing becomes fast and labored. A paramedic kneels down next to me and instructs me to calm down so it will slow the bleeding down, but he’s asking too much of me. I can’t calm down. I’m dying, and I know it.
I JERK AWAKE in my bed in my room. I don’t remember falling asleep or being brought back in here. I look at my right arm and see it’s wrapped in a bandage where the needle was. I slowly sit up, and my head spins a little. I touch my clammy hands to my forehead and wince when pain radiates from my side. I slowly lift my shirt up and see they put the stitches back in. I groan and lie back down on the bed when the dizziness becomes too much.
I wait for the room to stop spinning before attempting to sit up again. I swing my legs over the side of the bed then carefully stand to my feet. I use the wall for support as I make my way to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and let the water run over my hand until it gets warm. Once it’s warm, I get in.
I let the water beat down on my back. I try to think about nothing at all as I wash up, but it’s impossible. I want my family. I want Sage. But more than anything, I want answers. I sit down in the bathtub as water falls on me. I watch the water as it goes down the drain and imagine that the water is my life. I laugh at the image of my life going down a drain, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I laugh until I cry. I cry until I can’t cry anymore.
I turn off the water then slowly stand up. I grab the towel off the counter and wrap it around myself. When I get out, I look in the mirror. I run my hands over my face, barely recognizing the girl staring back at me. Who the hell am I? This isn’t me.
I place both hands firmly on the sink and take deep breaths as I close my eyes. I’m falling apart when I should be doing something about this. I think the problem is I don’t know what to fight for anymore or if it’s even worth it. I’m in too deep.
I get dressed and pull my hair into a wet ponytail. After I brush my teeth, I hear my door open. I peek out the bathroom and see two white suits standing in my room with their hands folded behind their backs.
“I’ll be out in a second,” I say as I get a palmful of water and put it in my mouth. I swish it around then spit. I wipe my mouth on the towel and meet them by the door.
“Where are you taking me now?” I’m in so much pain, but I do my best to hide it.
“To eat. Then it is time for your first job.”
My whole body tenses. My first job, according to Kyle, is to make my family forget me using mind control. That would be my mother and Felix since dad is gone. I swallow hard as I fight back tears.
I SIT DOWN next to Kyle and stare at the food in front of me I can’t fathom eating, knowing what I have to do after breakfast. I feel Dex, Marah, and Kyle all staring at me, but I don’t look up. I’m so broken right now; I’m in so much pain, and if I look at them, I know I’ll start crying again. I eat a little bit but only because I’m practically forced to by the Suicide Nazis. I glare at the white suits over the rim of my cup as I take a drink.
Plath walks into the cafeteria, and I set my cup down as my hands begin to shake. I fold them in my lap so no one will notice. I fear him yet feel safe when he’s near. It doesn’t make sense. Plath clears his throat so everyone looks at him. He stands in the middle of the cafeteria with a ‘more superior than you’ attitude. I almost laugh.
“Darren Sully, Hesperus Number 2, please come forward.” Plath has no expression whatsoever. I look at Kyle and Dex, but their gaze remains emotionless as well. I turn my attention to Darren as he makes his way towards Plath.
“Hesperus?” I whisper to Kyle.
“Mind control but more elite than we are. He’s been here longer than all of us,” he whispers then looks back at Darren.
He nervously tugs at the hem of his shirt, which is identical to mine, white and tight-fitting. He blinks his dark eyes as he stops in front of Plath.
“Yes, sir?” He says more confidently than he looks.
Plath reaches in his pocket, and I know what hides in there. I’m sure everyone here does by the looks on their faces. No one moves or blinks. I, however, squirm in my seat. Surely he’s not—son of a bitch! He shot him! I watch as Darren’s body falls to the f
loor, and blood pools around his head.
I stand forcefully to my feet, sending my chair flipping backward onto the floor. “No!” I scream and rush towards Plath before I can talk myself out of it. I swear I’m going to kill him.
My fingers only have time to brush against his jacket before I’m pulled away by white suits. I kick and scream as they drag me out of the cafeteria. I cry even though I didn’t know who he was. Darren Sully was someone’s friend, son, possibly brother.
I’m thrown into a padded room, similar to where I spent my time during the breaking process. My heart races at an erratic speed. I place my hand to my chest as I try to calm my breathing down. I sit on the floor and rest my head back against the wall. My hand then goes to my side that is throbbing.
Dammit.
I’M NOT SURE if I fell asleep or if I just closed my eyes for a few minutes, but I know some time has passed from the stiffness in my neck from being in the same position for too long. I look at the door as the knob turns. When it opens, I see his familiar black boots and faded jeans. I cringe. He shuts the door behind him and kneels down in front of me. He grabs my face with both hands and makes me face him. I keep my eyes closed tight.
“Look at me,” he says quietly.
“Go to hell.”
“Already there.”
I look at him and laugh like a crazy person. Not because he’s funny or because I’m happy, but because he is right. He starts laughing too as he lets go of my face.
“You’re insane,” I say between laughter.
“I’m not alone,” he says as his laughter fades.
I shake my head as tears fall. “No. No, you’re not.” I close my eyes again and pull my knees to my chest. “Why are you in here?”
“To determine the consequences for your actions. You had no right to stand up for him. It wasn’t your place, Orion.”
I cut my eyes at him. “Why did he get to die?”