“On what?” Indi asked.
“Whether you would be able to get your engineer to leave engineering to enjoy the exoticness of Earth.”
Hierax walked up to the fire pit and peered into it. “Is this how you cook? Your people are even more primitive than I realized.”
Katie plopped a cold beer into Indi’s hand. “You’re going to need that. I can tell.”
“I think we all will.” Indi looked at the label, that of some organic microbrewery she’d never heard of. “This isn’t your typical fare.” She looked toward the picnic table, noticing the fancy trays full of cut vegetables, platters of exotic meats and cheeses, and… “Is that a quiche?”
Katie made a face. “Tala gave me a shopping list. And told me where to go. I didn’t even know it was possible to spend two hundred and fifty dollars on picnic food.”
“I hope she’s reimbursing you.” Indi had been to an office barbecue with Katie at the beginning of the summer and knew she was a hot dogs and Heineken kind of gal.
“She said she would, but she hasn’t shown up yet. She better come. I deliberately didn’t buy much tubular meat because she didn’t want to feed it to her highly decorated ship commander of a lover.”
“Tubular meat?”
“Apparently, that’s how the chip translated hot dogs. Or was it tubed meat? I forget.”
“Do you have any tools?” Hierax asked, still considering the fire pit. “I could build a self-rotating spit to make the cooking more even.”
“We cook on that,” Katie said, pointing at the grill as she walked over. She made a shooing motion, as if afraid Hierax would mess up her outdoor kitchen. “The only thing you cook over the fire is marshmallows. And then you use one of these.” She plucked up a long metal fork with a handle on it. “You’re welcome to self-rotate while you cook if you wish.”
Hierax curled a lip as he eyed the fork, then shifted his gaze to Indi, giving her the most plaintive I-am-among-savages look she’d ever seen. It was a rather cute plaintive look. She vowed to take him somewhere private once it got dark and nobody was paying attention to them. To that hammock strung between two trees? Would the dogs quiet down by then? Maybe she could prevail upon Katie to offer access to the guest room, or rather the guest “loft,” as it was. Even though the last couple of months might have hardened Indi a touch, she had little interest in sleeping outside and being eaten by bugs if another option was available.
“I don’t suppose a package was waiting on your doorstep when you got here?” Indi asked Katie.
“I had a bunch of water-logged packages and a note in my mailbox telling me to come into town to pick up the mail.”
“This would have been addressed to me. And un-waterlogged.”
“Then no. What did you order?”
“A gift for Hierax. If it comes, it might be able to keep him from building things with your marshmallow forks.”
“Sorry, we don’t get same-day shipping out here. If you paid a fortune, you might get overnight.”
“I guess that’ll have to do,” Indi said.
From the way Hierax was eyeing the fire pit, he’d forgotten about his promised gift, anyway.
“What did you order him?” Katie asked.
“LEGOs.”
“LEGOs?”
“A Star Wars superstar destroyer. It has over 3,000 pieces. It’s for ages sixteen and up.”
They both looked over at Hierax who was now peering at and poking at the rocks comprising the fire pit ring.
“You sure he meets that age requirement?” Katie asked.
Indi swatted her.
“There’s a dog eyeing your meat,” Juanita told Katie, waving at the picnic table.
“Those are charcuteries,” Katie said. “I know because I had to ask someone at the store what they were.”
“Fine, there’s a dog eyeing your charcuteries.”
“Where did all these dogs come from?” Indi asked.
“Apparently, they’re new members of the crew,” Orion said from the picnic table bench where he was noshing from a vegetable tray and a bag of something called cassava chips.
“Fuji,” Angela said, clapping her hands and striding over. She used her body to block the dog from the table and backed him—or her—away from the eating area.
Treyjon joined her. “Perhaps it’s time to begin training them. It looks like we have an hour or so until dark.”
“Good idea.”
Angela leaned toward the charcuterie tray and started selecting slices of salami. As the stack in her hand grew and grew, Katie’s eyes widened.
“Wait, are those for you? Or the dogs?”
“It’s important to use enticing rewards to encourage the desired behavior.”
“Oh, hell no.” Katie plucked the stack out of Angela’s hand. “That salami was twenty dollars a pound. It’s not going down a dog gullet.”
Zakota came over and peered at her hand. “It smells really good.”
He removed the stack from her palm. Orion halved it, taking a small stack for himself. The two men proceeded to wolf down the salami.
“Star Guardian gullets are better than dog gullets?” Angela arched an eyebrow.
“Well…” Katie didn’t look that certain.
“You didn’t even get them to perform a desired behavior first.”
“Should I have made them sit up and beg?”
“I would have made them clean the house,” Juanita said. “Weren’t you complaining that everything is dusty after two months away?”
Katie’s gaze grew thoughtful as she contemplated the men, the cabin, and the rest of the meat on the tray.
Indi shook her head, turning back to see what Hierax was up to. Then dropping her face into her palm.
Somehow, he’d found enough pieces of metal—she identified some of the marshmallow forks and also a tire iron—to construct not only a spit for the fire but a fancy grate for it. Now, he was working on some kind of tripod or hook to hang pots from.
“I bet he’s a blast on camping trips,” Katie said, also noticing his work.
Indi smiled fondly at him. “At least he’s fruitful.”
“He’s some kind of fruit.”
Indi grabbed a small stack of salami and took it to Hierax.
He paused in his project and looked up. “What’s that for?”
“Desired behavior.” She bent and kissed him.
He blinked a couple of times in surprise, but then smiled. “I’m very satisfied.”
“You better be.” She kissed him again.
• • • • •
Juanita stuck a marshmallow on the end of her long fork as Orion watched, a marshmallow and fork of his own in hand. Everyone had pulled up chairs or stumps, save for the dogs, most of which were snoozing around the yard. Darkness had fallen, a fire crackled in the pit—the flames danced under the elaborate cooking setup Hierax had created—and a few stars were visible above the towering pines.
“Do you think we can see your sun from here?” she asked.
“Not with the naked eye,” Orion said, leaning his shoulder against hers. “If memory serves, you can only see stars up to about a thousand light years away. We’re thirty thousand light years from you, Dethocoles to Gaia, that is.”
“Thirty-one thousand four hundred and thirty-three light years,” Hierax said. “Roughly.”
“Thank you, Commander Korta,” Zakota said dryly from his spot on a stump next to Katie.
Juanita wondered if they should have invited more members of the crew to their barbecue. Would the bouldery Korta have enjoyed coming? Did he eat hot dogs and salami? Or anything?
Of course, the people Katie had invited had polished off most of the food as it was.
“You do have a magnificent view from here.” Orion lifted his gaze toward the sky. “You can see so many stars, and it’s so clear, it’s almost like you can reach up and touch them. In Iolkos, our capital, you’re lucky if you can see a dozen.”
“It’s l
ike that in Phoenix,” Angela said from the other side of the fire pit, where Treyjon lounged in a chair and she sat in his lap. “But the stars are great up here. At my parents’ farm too.”
One of the dogs lifted his head and peered into the woods. It jumped to its feet and barked. The other five dogs did the same thing. Then all six raced into the woods.
“Er, if that’s the captain,” Treyjon said, hoisting Angela from his lap and standing, “he may not be pleased by that welcome.”
“Imagine,” Indi murmured.
“What if it’s a coyote?” Juanita asked.
“A coyote wouldn’t be pleased by that greeting, either,” Angela said, peering over the back of the chair as Treyjon jogged into the night.
A light came on in the distance. Someone’s logostec, perhaps? Juanita couldn’t imagine anyone but the Star Guardians wandering in from the national forest at night.
Orion nudged her shoulder. “Are you going to include this evening in any of your stories?”
“I don’t know. It’s kind of sedate compared to everything else we’ve done. Very little drama to keep people interested.”
“If Sage gets eaten by your small furry svenkars, that’ll be dramatic.”
“Dogs,” Juanita said. “And I’m sure all he’ll have to do is croon, ‘Hey, puppies, good puppies,’ and they’ll leave him alone.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard Sage croon. For which I am glad.”
The dog barking lessened, and three figures soon walked into view, Treyjon, leading his new pack, and Tala and Sagitta. The captain wore brown trousers and a pale button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. It was strange seeing him in anything but his uniform or combat armor.
Juanita was surprised he had come out. Picard had never fraternized with his crew, after all. She couldn’t remember an episode where they’d gone to barbecues or picnics together. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy had gone camping in Yosemite Park, but that had been in the movies, after they’d been friends for years and years.
“Glad you could make it,” Katie said, standing and waving her marshmallow stick like a beacon to guide in planes in the night.
“Did you know your dessert is on fire?” Zakota asked.
“Yeah, I like them that way.” Katie blew out her marshmallow flambé.
“I fail to see why more people aren’t using the cooking facilities I built over the fire,” Hierax said.
“We’re too heathen and primitive to master them,” Katie said.
“Ah,” Hierax said, as if this explanation made perfect sense.
He and Zakota stood up as the captain approached, their fingers twitching, as if to salute, but it seemed that wasn’t a requirement when they all wore civilian clothing and were off duty. Sagitta waved them back to their seats.
“We left some food for you, Tala,” Katie said. “And the bill is in that bag.”
An outdoor lantern sat on the picnic table, providing a view of the largely devastated food trays.
“Three carrots and two pieces of salami?” Tala asked, looking over the scant offerings.
“Those are crudités and charcuteries,” Juanita informed her.
“As requested,” Katie said.
Tala gave them all an unfriendly look.
Katie waved toward the cabin’s back door. “We weren’t sure if you were coming, so I moved the rest into the fridge. There are grilled hot dogs under some foil on the counter. I know you wanted to introduce the new love of your life to hot dogs.”
“Actually, I thought I mentioned that I didn’t want to share hot dogs with him.”
“These are grass-fed, organic hot dogs. They should meet your lofty standards.”
“Are they tubular?” Sagitta asked mildly, the first words he’d spoken.
“The stuff in those brown bottles is alcohol, Sage,” Orion said, pointing to the cooler. At least that was still well-stocked. Katie must have assumed everyone would drink at least a dozen beers. “You may need it.”
“To survive the hot dogs?”
“No, to survive a barbecue with your men.”
“What?” Zakota asked. “There’s nothing wrong with us. We’re fun. Especially now that it’s dark, and Hierax can’t build anything else.”
“Please, I can build things in the dark any time I want.”
“I didn’t know you had a night-vision implant.”
“Because of my superior intellect, I’m able to use night-vision goggles.”
Sagitta walked to the cooler and withdrew two bottles.
“I’m pleased that there haven’t been any medical emergencies requiring my attention,” Tala said as she came over to the fire and pulled up a chair.
“On the ship?” Juanita asked. “Or at our barbecue?”
“Both.”
“We’ve been monitoring the men on leave to make sure they don’t get into trouble,” Sagitta said. There weren’t any chairs left, so he dragged a stump over to rest next to Tala’s seat.
“You want my chair, sir?” Zakota stood.
“No.” Sagitta waved a hand in dismissal.
“Good. Because I decorated it for me.” Zakota lifted a string tied around the arm to reveal one of his charms dangling there. “Actually, it’s a house blessing talisman for Miss Katie.”
“She’s a lucky woman.”
“I actually do feel lucky,” Katie said, smiling.
“Because of the talisman?” Juanita asked.
“Because these are the most polite house guests I’ve ever had. Even after six beers a piece, the men are still throwing their plates and bottles away instead of leaving them lying everywhere. Earthlings are rarely that responsible.”
“You get a lot of extra pushups in Star Guardian training if you leave any garbage lying around,” Sagitta said, his eyes glinting with approval.
Juanita had a feeling he gave his men extra pushups outside of training, too, if they did any such thing.
“Thank you for letting me know Mindy is all right,” Tala told her.
“No problem.” Juanita waved her phone, delighted to be able to text people again.
Apparently worried that her guests weren’t feeding themselves, Katie headed into the house and returned with plates piled high with quiche, hot dogs, rolls, and vegetables. She handed them to Tala and Sagitta.
“Are the rolls also organic and grass fed?” Angela asked. She hadn’t had quite as many beers as the men, but she was much smaller, and appeared tipsy.
“Rolls are grass,” Juanita said. “Well, wheat is.”
“So, that’s a no?”
“Unless the wheat is cannibalistic.”
Tala nudged Sagitta. “See what kind of witty conversation you would have missed if you’d stayed aboard the ship?”
“Hey,” Juanita said, “it’s not right that you diss us before you’ve had at least four beers.”
The others nodded amiably, though nobody appeared overly worried about “dissing.” The Star Guardians all seemed to be laid-back drunks rather than belligerent ones.
Sagitta handed one of his beer bottles to Tala, then considered his. “Is there a tool for removing the lid?”
“Real men bite it off with their teeth,” Juanita said, “and spit the cap into the fire pit.”
Tala gave her another unfriendly look.
“That’s how we’ve all been doing it,” Orion said, his lips quirking as he tamped down a smirk and slipped the bottle opener from his armrest down under his leg to hide it.
Sagitta probed the cap with his finger while eyeing his brother suspiciously. “I don’t believe for a moment that Hierax did something so barbaric. If there’s not a tool for removing this cap, he would have made one.”
“Nah, I was busy making the spit and grate,” Hierax said. He was slumped so far back in his chair that he looked like he might slide out and onto the patio at any moment. “These people cook outside with fire. Extremely primitive. Is there any hope for them to join the Confederation?”
“Why wo
uldn’t there be?” Orion asked. “They let Zakota’s people in.”
“Hey.” Zakota glared at him. Maybe belligerence would happen, after all.
“Only because we didn’t have anybody who could make chair talismans,” Hierax said.
“I can’t believe you’re teasing me, Chief,” Zakota said, “when you got a woman, thanks to the talisman I made you. The talisman you didn’t even want to take, I’ll remind you. I happened to throw the women-luring charm in with the blessed hands talisman in a two-for-one deal.”
“Clearly the reason I won Indi’s heart.” Hierax reached over and patted her arm.
“Divine intervention is the only explanation that makes sense to me,” Treyjon rumbled from behind Angela. He hadn’t reclaimed his chair. Two of his new furry friends sat beside him, probably hoping he would toss those last two pieces of salami out to interested parties.
Sagitta lifted his beer bottle to the side of his mouth, locked the edge of the cap between his canine teeth, and bit it off. He removed it from his mouth and sniffed the beverage.
“I can’t believe you did that,” Tala said.
“It sounded like a Gaian rite of passage.”
“It’s a dumbass rite of passage.”
Zakota chortled, then clasped his hand over his mouth to stop himself when Sagitta looked at him.
“Is she allowed to call you names, sir?” Hierax asked, perhaps saving Zakota from a glare.
“When we’re out of uniform,” Sagitta said.
“She doesn’t have a uniform.”
“She will soon.” Sagitta gave Tala a wolfish smile.
Juanita was sure he looked forward to officially having Tala as the head of his sickbay, but she suspected he wouldn’t mind getting her back by ordering her around. How well that would work, Juanita didn’t know. She hadn’t seen Tala take crap from anyone.
“Does that mean you’re staying aboard the Falcon?” Angela asked. “Permanently?”
“After I visit my mother and let her know, yes.” Tala smiled faintly. “That should be an interesting conversation.”
Juanita sympathized, as she hadn’t figured out how she would tell her parents about Orion and the Star Guardians yet. So far, all she’d done was call to say she was alive and she would explain everything when she visited the next day.
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