by Jane Jamison
William froze, then shoving into her one last incredible time, roared his release. The sound of his lust along with the smells flung her over the precipice and into the biggest, strongest orgasm she’d ever had.
Her body shook, and the last bit of strength left her as she slumped forward on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her and molded their bodies together as they shared the last moments of their climaxes.
Carter lifted the noose from around her neck and pulled her off William. Without saying another word, the men dressed. Their eyes, however, never left her.
She stayed where she was, studying how their muscles moved, how their bodies looked as they pulled on their shirts and jeans. Next time she’d have them do a striptease show for her, but for now, watching them dress was good.
Carter came to her and scooped her up as though she weighed nothing. He carried her to her bedroom, followed by Bill and William. William turned down the comforter as Carter laid her on the bed then waited as William covered her.
She needed the rest they were willing to give her, but if they’d wanted to take more of her, she would’ve spread her legs willingly. She doubted she had the energy to do little else.
Carter sat on one side of her while William took the other. Bill stood at the base of the large bed. A look passed between them, and she was sure they’d shared the same thought.
Carter brushed a strand of hair from her face. “We have to tell you something.”
Chapter Eight
Are they going to tell me to leave? Now? After what we just did?
The fear rose inside her again, threatening to rebuild the wall that they’d started to break down. Had she once again put her trust in men who would turn around and betray her? Sela sat up, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping the comforter around her like a warrior holding his shield, ready for battle. “What is it?”
The men shared another telling look before Carter explained. “This is going to sound strange, but we’ve agreed on this. Probably before tonight.”
“Agreed on what?” That after fucking her again, they’d tell her to leave in the morning? Were they going to tell her that it had all been just fun and games? That they’d taken advantage of her as the others had done?
“We weren’t prepared to have you come into our lives.”
She nodded, her throat closing up on her. She steeled herself against the pain she knew would come. Just get it over with.
“You kind of barged in on us unexpectedly, you know.” Carter fingered the edge of comforter. “Then you lied about who you were and why you were here.”
She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think past expecting the worst to happen. If they told her to go, she would, but she was afraid she’d leave her heart behind. “I’m told you that I’m sorry. I thought you forgave me.”
Carter blinked then studied her. “No. I don’t think you understand.”
“I don’t?” She looked to the other men for confirmation. “Aren’t you going to tell me to leave?”
Carter acted as though she’d physically struck him. “Hell, no. Just the opposite. We want you to stay.”
“We want you to stay.” Had she heard him correctly?
A glimmer of hope burst to life, but she squashed it, the old familiar wall growing higher, brick by brick, around her heart. She didn’t dare let herself be vulnerable. Not again. If they turned around and let her down, she wouldn’t survive it.
“I don’t understand.”
He took her hand, and she fought against the urge to pull him closer.
“Like I said, this is going to sound strange, but we’ve always wanted to have one woman for all three of us.”
Now she understood. “So you finally got the foursome you’ve always wanted. Okay, sure. I get it. But after two times, you’re finished. Am I getting this?” She couldn’t keep the anger from her voice, but she’d be damned if she’d let them see her cry.
“No, Sela, you’re wrong. We want a woman to share, to be ours, for the rest of our lives. Not just for a few days.” Carter gave her a funny look. “Remember? We talked about this when we went riding.”
“You’re kidding.” Again, she sought the truth in their faces. “You really don’t want to find a woman for each of you?”
“Nope.” Bill’s expression was as serious as she’d ever seen. “We want one woman. I know it’s not the way most people want it, but that’s what we want.”
“And you want that woman to be me?” Again, the glimmer of hope threatened to break free. But again, she stamped it down. If she was wrong again, wrong about them, it would crush her soul. She couldn’t take that chance.
“Yeah.” William reached for her other hand. “We want you to stay and make this your home. We know it’s a lot to ask with you being a big star and everything, but you could still have your career. Just as long as you come back home to us.”
“Are you saying that you…love me?” Had she gone too far by using that word?
Unbelievably, they nodded, each one affirming the miraculous statement. But it was Carter who voiced it. “Yeah, we do. It’s new and hard to believe, but we do. At least, we’re falling in love with you.”
“Speak for yourself, cuz.” William squeezed her hand. “I’ve already fallen.”
Is this a game? Is this something they think they should say after what we did?
She wanted to believe them, ached to believe them, but she couldn’t. How many times had she trusted in the past only to get hurt? She laughed, needing to hurt them before they ended up hurting her. The need to protect her heart roared back to life.
The confusion on their faces bit at her, but she had to go on. “You’re kidding me, right? Tell me that you’re only saying that because of what we did. Come on, guys. We’ve known each other for only a few hours. That’s hardly time to fall in love.”
Anger flew onto Bill’s face while William and Carter looked more shocked than anything else. Bill bent over, flattening his hands on the bed. “Are you saying you don’t feel anything for us? If so, tell us and make it the truth.”
Her real answer was almost out of her mouth before she managed to stop herself. She couldn’t tell them how she really felt, even though she wanted to. If she did, she’d leave herself exposed and vulnerable again.
“Look, guys. I like you. I like all of you a lot.” She smiled and cast her gaze down before bringing it up again. She had to lie again, but this time it was more for them than for herself. “And I sure as hell like having sex with you. But love? I can’t say that. I won’t say that. It’s not a word I have in my vocabulary.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
She preferred Bill’s anger to the others’ hurt. “Come on, Bill. It’s like I told you before. It means that every time I let myself trust a man, I get hurt. They tell me they love me, and I fall hook, line, and sinker. And then, just when I’ve let my guard down, they slam me upside the head and prove once again what a fool I am. I’m not going through that ever again.”
“You’re too young to be that jaded,” offered Carter. “We won’t let you turn away from us.”
Resentment took hold. “You don’t know what I’ve been through. I’ve learned that the only men I know I can trust are the ones I pay. And even then I don’t trust them all the way. Not even my manager, and he’s the closest thing to a father I’ve ever known.”
“That’s not us. We’re not like most men.” William pleaded with his eyes.
He’s right. They’re not like most men. If only I could believe.
But she’d tried and lost too many times. “I’m sorry. I can’t go there.”
Bill reared up and shoved his hands into his pockets. “That’s a hell of a way to live.”
Pain flashed through her at his words. “Maybe, but it’s how I am. Now that I’ve told you how I think, do you want me to go? I can have my manager here to pick me up in a few hours.”
Strange as it seemed, Carter and William still held her hands. Carter pic
ked her hand up and placed a kiss in her palm. That little gesture tore at her heart, and she almost fell into his arms. Almost, but not quite.
“Stay.”
William nodded his agreement to Carter’s decision, and Bill remained stoic, his hard gaze locked on her.
“Fine. I will. After all, the reason I came here—the real reason—hasn’t changed. I still need to get away for a few days. But I want you to know that I’ll pay you. Since I’m not a damsel in distress in need of your services, I’ll reward you with a hefty fee. How’s that sound?”
Carter shook his head and was, no doubt, ready to tell her not to pay when Bill jumped in ahead of him. “Sure. Why not? We could use the extra cash.”
Bill’s eyes glittered with fury mixed with pain. She gritted her teeth, determined more than ever to keep from crying. But his tone, so bleak, so mean, sliced her to her soul. She tried to put on a pleasant face. “Good. Then I’ll stay until the end of the week.”
“Whatever. We’ll keep out of your hair and you keep out of ours. And don’t let Gabriel or anyone else know you’re here.” The anger dripped in his tone.
“I should probably call my manager so he’ll call off the hunt.”
“Yeah, you should. We wouldn’t want a butt load of paparazzi on our front doorstep.” Bill dug his phone out of his pocket and tossed it to her. “Let’s get out of here, guys, and leave our paying guest to call off the dogs.” Bill pivoted on his heel and stalked from the room.
Carter glanced at William, and together they stood and walked to the door. William took hold of the doorknob and, just before he closed it, gave her a smile that broke her heart.
“Maybe you don’t want to admit it. Or maybe you can’t. I know you care about us. But don’t worry. We’ll wait for you to know it, too.”
* * * *
Sela dried the remaining plate and returned it to the cabinet. It had been three days since the conversation in her bedroom. During that time, the men had come and gone, hardly saying a word other than to thank her for cleaning around the house while they were working. Bill hadn’t even done that much. Instead, they were gone before she rose in the morning, and even though she’d tried to wait up for them, she’d never been awake when they came home. She had to wonder if they were even coming home at night. Maybe they were avoiding her, staying away until the week was over.
Although knowing that she risked someone else seeing her, she’d talked William into saddling Sugar up for her. He’d taught her how to get the horse ready to ride, even how to cinch the saddle so that it wouldn’t slide off. Yet although he’d acted easy with her, even joking a few times, he’d never gotten close and had never let her touch him. He’d ridden with her the first day, but then he’d begged off riding with her the next. Still, every so often she’d seen him, a statuesque man on top of his horse, watching her from a distance, making sure she was safe.
Those three days had felt like forever, the time passing from one moment to the next in an achingly slow progression. From the moment they’d left her alone, she’d felt empty, as though a huge part of her had withered and died. She hadn’t felt that way in the past. She realized now that her past relationships had been infatuations, a result of her desperate need to find a man who would love her unconditionally. A man she could trust completely. Had she found that unconditional love and trust with the Richland men only to throw it away?
What the hell have I done? They told me that they want me and I pushed them away. Why can’t I accept what they said? What’s wrong with me?
She stared at the barn. How long would it take before she saw them for more than a fleeting moment? And when she did, what would she say? Would they still care enough to listen?
She lifted her gaze to the sky. Dark clouds rolled from the west to the east, and the wind picked up. Even she could smell the touch of the storm in the air and feel the electric current. The storm would come soon, and she wondered if the men would make it home before it struck.
As if her words had summoned them, they burst through the front door. She whirled around, the last plate still in her hand. “You’re home.”
They paused as though her words had made them stop. Bill was the first to recover.
“For a little while. A storm’s moving in, and we need to get the herd into the corral. If we don’t, they could get spooked and hurt themselves.”
She smiled. That was the most he’d said to her in three days, and despite his tone, the sound of his voice warmed her. “Do you need help?”
He frowned. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No. I could help round up strays or whatever.”
William took hold of Bill’s arm, quelling Bill’s laughter. “Hold up. She could help. I didn’t mention it before, but I’ve taken her riding the past couple of days. And she sits a saddle pretty good now.”
“You did what?”
She wasn’t about to back down from Bill’s wrath any more than William was. “I talked him into it. Now do you want my help or not?”
“No. I don’t.”
“Bill—”
“Back off, William. I don’t have time to babysit her. We have enough to do.” With that said, Bill snatched a rain slicker from the closet and stormed out of the house.
William shrugged as if to apologize then did the same as Bill with Carter following them. She turned and watched them round the house and go into the barn. Minutes later, they led their horses out of the barn, mounted them, and rode off.
She’d always hated to be told what to do. But Bill’s stubbornness served to bring out her own stubborn nature. Setting down the plate, she hurried to the hall closet and dug into the coats until she found another rain slicker.
Droplets of rain were already falling when she headed toward the barn. Although it took her the better part of an hour, she managed to saddle up Sugar and got on her way. She went in the direction they’d gone, determined to show Bill what she could do.
Thirty minutes later she regretted her hastiness. “When will I ever learn not to go off half-cocked?”
She hadn’t seen the men or even a cow. But at least she recognized where she was.
“This is where I took the spill, remember, Sugar? When Carter was going to race me to the stream?”
The rain splattered against her slicker with big, fat drops that ran over Sugar and made mud puddles in the ground. She turned her face toward the heavens as lightning flashed in the sky.
“I guess I screwed up, Sugar.” She leaned over and patted the horse’s neck. “Sorry for bringing you out in this mess. Let’s go home.”
It was the second time she’d referred to the ranch house as home. But what was even more surprising was that the word felt right. As though she’d finally come home after a long journey.
Pulling on the reins, she turned Sugar around and gave her a slight kick with her heels. They hadn’t gotten far when the sound of a cow’s plaintive wail brought her up short. She sat up straight in the saddle and listened, trying to determine which direction it came from.
It’s there. In the middle of those trees.
She turned Sugar around and gave her a kick to get her going. From the sound of the braying calf, it was in trouble. Stopping at the edge of the trees, she dismounted and slung the reins over a low-hanging branch.
“Stay here, Sugar. I don’t want to have to walk home.”
Giving the horse a pat, she pushed past the brush and into the trees. It wasn’t long before she broke through the underbrush and came up on the stream.
The banks were already overflowing, lapping at a pile of small rocks at the water’s edge. Water rushed around the calf, going fast enough to form white caps. Its wide eyes were wild with fear as it struggled to pull itself out of the mud below the rapid water. Wind blew around them, whistling a tune to accompany the rumble of thunder.
“Holy gumdrops, how’d you get yourself stuck?”
She should go back and get the men. Without a rope, she couldn’t pull the calf out. But
the water was rising, and she doubted she’d make it home then back to the calf with the men before the poor animal drowned.
She inched toward the edge of the water. Maybe if she could give it a shove, it could free itself. The wind whipped her hair across her face. But was it worth the risk?
“No.” She pleaded with the calf, hoping it would understand her tone, if not her meaning. “I’m sorry, little one, but I’m afraid. You shouldn’t have gotten yourself in this predicament.”
The calf let out a terrible plaintive bellow as she turned away. She froze, closed her eyes, and then chastised herself for what she was about to do. When she faced the calf again, the water was already higher.
“Aw, hell. I’m going to hate myself for this.”
Mumbling to herself, she stepped into the water. Splinters of cold coursed up her leg and into her torso as she worked her way to the rear of the calf. So far, the mud had sucked at her feet, but she hadn’t gotten stuck. The calf’s heavier weight must’ve dragged it farther down into the mud.
She flattened her hands against the calf’s rump and was thankful he couldn’t kick her. It swiveled its head around to moo at her.
“Oh, moo yourself. Stop crying and help me. Now move!”
She shoved against it, putting her shoulder against it. But the calf didn’t budge.
“Will you do a little of the work? I can’t haul your ass out of here by myself, you know.” She slapped its rear and was rewarded with a buck as the calf tried to jerk away.
“So you can move, huh? Then get!” Slapping its rump again, she shouted with every bit of strength in her. “Go, you mangy beast!”
Lightning brightened the sky, and a moment later, thunder boomed around them in the same instant that she fisted her hands and brought them down on the calf’s ass. It bellowed in fright then bucked.
A moment later, she found herself falling face-first into the cold water. She came up sputtering and using the worst curse words she knew. But when she saw the calf bolting onto the streams’ bank, she broke into laughter.