As Sae-mond stumbled into words, the burning in my stomach turned to a wrenching hot twist. My fear of his mouth had not been simple anxiety, but premonition. He made it into no more than a few words, that is to say, the part where my name came up, before the mocking began.
“Liar!”
“Fool!”
“He speaks untruths!”
“What he claims is treason!”
My friends scoffed at the idea, their words stinging in my ears. I sat quiet, shrinking back. I assumed they would be shocked, but I never expected they’d be offended. My chest went tight, pulling my heart deeper down. Were these words so difficult to swallow? Was I so minor in their eyes that they could not consider such words?
The jeers went on. Not one would believe me to be the Queen’s daughter. I understood them… to a point. I, myself, did not believe just days ago. I still struggled in the thought up unto this very night. But I felt outcast by their insult. They were ready to cut out Sae-mond’s tongue for daring such a claim.
I watched Saratiese, wondering if she would be as quick to pass the information off. She didn’t join in with the other girls. Instead she sat tight lipped, an onlooker, seeming strangely unaffected by the news. I kept my eyes steady on her, hoping she would glance my way, maybe comfort me, but she never did.
My mind strayed from Saratiese when I felt Hippolyta eyeing me. I glanced at the warrior, and in one sweeping moment, I knew. She was suspicious of my silence. I hadn’t said one word since Sae-mond had exposed me. Neither had Laidea. We had both just left the young man to take the brunt, letting the company unleash on him. I sunk back, avoiding Hippolyta.
“Laidea.” Hippolyta spoke up, her scrutiny still pinning me to the rock I sat on. “Is this true… of Askca and Palius?”
The girls dropped quite, everyone looking to the Commander. My stomach knotted like a demonic fetus.
“Yes.” Laidea confirmed, the word solid.
“How could you not tell us?” Kelius asked, her younger sister Tilliandre sitting at her side with the same jaw dropped expression.
“It was too dangerous. Askca herself did not know until that day in the valley.”
“But to not tell us?” Malaia put an insulted palm to her heart. “I am one your closest allies. Your sisterhood.”
“Your friends.” Kelius let the words hang there, heavy.
“Askca is the one they search, isn‘t she?” Hippolyta cut in. “You’ve known all this time and you couldn’t tell anyone? Not even me?”
Laidea paused, rubbing at her neck with an apprehensive palm. I could see it on her face. Guilt. The way she stared back on Hippolyta, letting the silence stretch out between them, it was clear that she cared for her friend. Didn’t want to disappoint her. Had never meant to hurt her. And if I had heard the hurt in Hippolyta’s voice, I knew Laidea had.
“These things are truth.” Laidea addressed all of us, standing up as she did, signaling the end of the conversation. “I have not the time to explain, but only to ask that you try to understand. Queen Perseathea and I had reason.”
The silence hung like an overcast sky, all of us soaking in the Commander’s words. I crossed my arms, shrugging into my shoulders, feeling their permanent mark. I searched the faces of my friends, but none of them looked on me. Every eye was on Laidea.
“Prepare to leave.” She said. “We are going into Pahll-sus tonight. There is lodging and a tavern already paid up. Once we get there, we will learn of the Queen’s plan. As of now, I don‘t think you‘re ready for her words.”
Laidea stepped away from the fire, retreating into the shadows. Leaving us. The company stood unsatisfied by the abrupt end of answers, but prepared to leave just the same. I retreated into my pack, hoping to be left alone.
Hippolyta left the group, following her friend. Not too many paces into the woods, she found Laidea leaning against a tree. Chin dropped, the woman focused on something in her hand. As Hippolyta approached, she realized the object was the Queen’s amulet.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.” Laidea said, her eyes fixed on the amulet.
“I understand.” Hippolyta pressed a palm into the bark, staring up at the full moon, trying to mean it.
“Perseathea and I… we couldn’t tell anyone.”
“Laidea, I understand.”
“Then we’ll talk in Pahll-sus?”
“We don’t have to.”
Laidea flitted her a sideways glance.
“I mean, not about this.” Hippolyta crossed her arms, leaning into the tree next to her friend. “We’ve other things to discuss.”
Laidea paused. “Alright.”
Hippolyta stood for a moment in the dark, saying nothing. It wasn’t until after Laidea slid the Queen’s amulet back around her neck, dangling it next to her own, that Hippolyta leaned in to whisper.
“But I tell you this, I don’t trust the boy.” Hippolyta said, watching Sae-mond as he sat alone at the fireside.
“Neither do I,” Laidea eyed him as well, “but I do intend to take up a free meal and rest. We will keep vigilant eyes on him. Right now, we‘ve really no other choice.”
Chapter 42
"This place will give you a chance to ease your bones.” Sae-mond led the company down a dark path congested with low hanging branches. “If resting wont do it, a goodly dose of ale will."
Laidea kept her eyes on the young man, but his talk faded into the night, her mind distracted by its own incessant ramble. Seducing her with thoughts of momentary escape. The boy’s notions of ale warming over her woes lingered more than tempting. She ached to lay her burdens down, even if only for a while. She never spoke it, not even to Hippolyta, but her craving for peace had distorted itself into a cruel and taunting adversary. Thoughts of Perseathea, Askca, Palius, Gragore, battles, blood, death… they never ended. Never ceased. She tired of it.
And behind her contrived calm, it tortured her in the secret alcoves of her soul. Since the moment she had learned of the Gregorian army’s approach, there’d been no release. No escape. Not a moment of true calm. Her shoulders bruised under the sense of duty. She kept tired eyes on Sae-mond, but his words kept drifting off. Her eyes wandered beyond him and into the dark trees ahead.
Dots of light peeked back through. Home fires. The cobblestone houses of Pahll-sus appeared just down the hillside in the clearing below. Laidea watched the dapples of flame, hovering like fireflies in the distance. She pondered the families inside those little houses, gathered around cozy fires. The thoughts darted through her head, piercing her heart like a snake bite. How it must be. Life, simply coming and going. Just being. She took a hard breath, shaking her head to throw the thoughts from her mind.
As they neared the tavern, the carefree melody of music and merrymaking bounced up the path to meet them. A smatter of tables lit up under torches, their benches sprawling with patrons already engaged in drink. Sae-mond heaved the tavern door open, revealing a packed room of filthy men, questionable women, and loud, clanging music. As soon as they stood in the doorway, the pungent smell of sweat and soured ale wafted, but the salty sweet aroma of roasting pork followed quick on its’ tail.
"Lokran’s tavern." Sae-mond yelled over the noise as they filed through the door. “Eat and drink your fill.”
Laidea stood at the doorway as her company stepped past. Hippolyta, whose hand had never strayed far from Sae-mond, tarried at his side.
Sae-mond lifted hopeful eyes to the Commander. "I'm certain my message will put you in higher spirits."
Laidea glowered down, prompting the boy to give up his chivalrous door holding and opt instead to walk past her into the tavern.
After Sae-mond drifted into the crowd, Laidea mentally counted her company, now scattered throughout the bar. Their faces burned bright with surprise and amusement, like children excited, yet confused, by a gift they did not understand the workings of. The unadulterated drunkenness and near naked flaunting of the townspeople proved quiet the opposite of their tempera
te, yet primed, Amazon ways. Amazon culture stood more disciplined. More in control. These people barely stood upright.
Laidea made her way to the barkeep. "Two ales."
A robust, middle aged woman behind the bar complied, pouring the drinks.
Hippolyta leered at Sae-mond as he scrambled to a dim table in the corner like a skittish rabbit.
Laidea leaned into her friend‘s ear. “Got him under your eye?”
“Every moment.”
“Good.”
The thick woman slung two mugs over. “Thanks,” Laidea nodded to the barkeep, then gestured to Sae-mond, “it’s on the boy’s coin.”
The woman raised both eyebrows. “His coin will keep you in drink all night.” She shuffled back a step, smearing her greasy hair away from her eyes.
Laidea shared a suspicious glance with Hippolyta, but then relented to a smile, easing her elbows onto the bar . “Then keep the drink coming.”
“I ‘spose we’re to sit with him.” Hippolyta huffed.
“If we are to hear his message.”
Hippolyta sucked in a mouthful of ale and Laidea followed cue, taking out more than half of her drink.
“You’re not going to guzzle too much?”
“Don’t worry yourself.” Laidea said, slipping off the stool. “Come on.”
Strolling toward the table where Sae-mond sat, drink in hand, Laidea glanced over the crowded room. When she ambled a mere stone’s throw from the young man, she spotted a more suitable table, and cut across the swarm of people. Giving him a passing evil eye, she warned him to stay put. Slumping down in a rickety chair, her heavy sigh escaped. She plopped her new boots up on the table. She had forced Sae-mond to hand them over on the trek to Pahll-sus, seeing that his foot was about the same size and she had fewer concerns with the boy running around like a bare footed child.
“I thought we were sitting with him.” Hippolyta slid into the diagonal chair.
“Changed my mind. I’ll talk with him after I’ve had a chance to rest a bit.”
Hippolyta brought her mug to her lips. “You mean drink a bit.”
“I do.”
Paces away, townsmen beat at drums and plucked clumsy fingers over stringed contraptions, producing a clatter somewhat comparable to music. Laidea leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms with a yawn, just as the plump bar woman wandered by. Laidea motioned to her for more drinks.
"You look tired, Laidea." Hippolyta leaned into the table, resting her forearm in a mysterious, sticky puddle. She recoiled, examining the gooey culprit.
Laidea stared passed her in search of the fresh drink. A different server came dragging her feet through the crowd, their beverages in tow. This girl stood slight, hard lines digging across her forehead. Her cheeks were gaunt and her dark eyes morose. Age wore on her face, making her look much older then she perhaps was. She scowled as she approached, giving hint to her jaded disposition.
Laidea smirked, figuring as much was to be expected from a young woman toiling in such a foul place. The things she must put up with.
The server stopped behind Hippolyta, tottering in a way that gave Laidea the concern that her friend might soon be wearing the drinks. The girl slopped two mugs down with a splash, splattering ale over the wooden table, but avoiding Hippolyta‘s looming soak down.
“Anything else?” She grumbled in a way that suggested she was hoping for a ‘no’.
Laidea swigged down the ale rather than replying.
"Keep the drink coming,” Hippolyta said, “and bring whatever hot food you have."
The server rolled her eyes, then took back through the crowd.
Laidea watched the girl disappear into the people, then shook her head, focusing back on her drink.
"Laidea?"
"Hmm?"
"You look worn."
The Commander put down what little was left of her ale with a sigh. "You look to be no spring blossom yourself, Hippolyta.”
Hippolyta leaned back. “I- Where‘d that come from? I wasn‘t trying-”
“I’m sorry.” Laidea put a reassuring palm on her friend’s hand. “I didn’t mean to bite at you. I’m good. This is nothing a good night’s rest and a full belly won’t cure."
“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” Hippolyta paused. “In your soul, Laidea.”
The Commander waved off the comment. “Nyah.”
“You’re a young woman, yet these present travels are digging lines into your face like that of a withered warrior.
“Like that server girl you mean?”
“No.”
“Insults will get you nowhere.”
“Don’t try to change subject, Laidea. I know you. This constant concerning is taking a toll."
Aware that her old friend knew her much too well, Laidea chose not to answer. Hippolyta had always seen through her calm. This time proved to be no exception. She dropped her boots from the table, leaning in to idle a finger through the flame flickering above the half melted candle on the table.
Hippolyta leaned in with a whisper. “It’s not weakness, Commander. We’re all scared.”
Laidea kept her tongue for a moment, shaking her head in disagreement. “But I fear for selfish reasons.”
“Love isn’t selfish.”
“No,” Laidea took a deep breath, “but it is fear, none the less, and it pains far worse than selfish.”
Hippolyta sunk back in her chair. “I know.”
“And,” Laidea popped her knuckles as a gesture to move off such personal words, “I don’t trust the young one over there.”
Hippolyta’s face reddened. “Nor do I.”
“But he’s all we have right now, as much as I hate it.” Laidea took another swig, the gold liquid dribbling a corner of her mouth. Tittering the mug back down, she felt a bit glassy eyed. “I’ll tell you this,” she leaned back in with her own whisper, “if that little bastard is after Askca or Palius, I will kill him.”
“I know.”
“Without hesitation.”
“Agreed. Woe be unto him who scorns a mother.” Hippolyta took her own swig.
“Woe and death. Painful, bloody, slow death.” Laidea growled, the effects of her ale now warming her, loosening her tongue and her reserve. “If anything ever happened to them, Hippolyta I-”
“It won‘t.” The woman interrupted, nervous that Laidea might be leading into a rant. “I’m scared for Herran. She’s only two winters and already I dread the day she will pick up the blade.”
Laidea nodded, covertly sliding Hippolyta’s near full mug over in exchange for her own empty one.
Hippolyta went on. “I dread it, but I also anticipate it. The thought fills me with such pride. And I have to remember that Herran is-”
“Commander?” Sae-mond hovered over.
Laidea sunk back in her chair. “What?”
“Can we speak now?”
"Is there a healer in this village?" She glared up at him as if he‘d asked her nothing.
"Uh… yes.” The boy nodded, a bit off kilter from the response. “A man by the name of Seathar."
"My company needs tending, as well as supplies and weapons. We lost much in that cavern."
"I will make certain you have everything you need. Then you will hear me?”
“Yes.” She gestured at him with a dismissive hand. “Go, go.”
The young man shuffled away.
"It wouldn’t much hurt you to see that healer yourself, Laidea."
The Commander plunked her elbows onto the wobbly table. "What need have I with a healer? I’ve no wounds."
"So you say."
Laidea rolled her eyes. “What is with you? You are Herran’s mother, not mine. I’ve no need for such- I’m a grown woman. A warrior. A Commander, for the sake of the gods.”
"I can see the worry on you." Hippolyta said, refusing to give up the conversation. “What if your mind is clouded? What if your thoughts, your skill, are not as sharp as-”
“Woman,” Laid
ea held there, her offense clear in such a word. “We’ve laid this to rest.” She looked passed her friend in search of the serving woman again.
The air between them hung intense, and Hippolyta held her tongue for endless moments. The shift of her friend’s eyes from her own made guilt come up Laidea’s throat. She hadn’t meant to snap, but such words of doubt need not be spoken to a Commander. Not because they bare insult, but because they carry doubts to the Commander’s mind. She needed to feel strong resolve now, not fear. None the less, her friend only concerned herself with Laidea on a personal level. On a level of friendship. And that was nothing to be offended by.
“Look Hippolyta… I'm not going to drop where I stand."
Hippolyta came back to life. “And if you do?"
“Stop acting as if I might. All the relaxing I need is in another mug."
Hippolyta folded her arms, sinking back in her chair. Laidea noticed the discontent sweep across her friend’s face again. It reminded her of Sae-mond telling the company of Askca. Hippolyta had the same hurt in her eyes then. Laidea took a deep breath, scanning the tavern to be certain her words would not be overheard.
“It’s time I tell you what I couldn’t tell you before.”
Hippolyta straightened her posture, leaning back in. Laidea took another glance around. The skinny bar servant was making her way back over with a jug in each hand. Laidea held her tongue as the girl plopped the ale down in front of them.
“If you have need for any more ale-”
“There will be need.” Laidea confirmed. The girl retreated with a sneer.
“You don’t have to do this, Laidea-”
“I never wanted to keep it from you. It’s time you know.”
Chapter 43
Rubbing at the last of the dwindling tension in her forehead, Laidea tried to think of where to begin. She’d revealed so much in these last few days, and hadn’t even broke the surface yet. The secret went back far beyond Askca, before Perseathea, and the warm tingle of ale pulsating through Laidea’s body, though relaxing, didn’t do much to focus her mind.
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