by Blake, Misti
It occurred to me in that moment that I had no feelings for him like a daughter should. I was disgusted at the sight of him and felt that he was no longer fit to make the decisions for our group. We needed a plan to get away and it didn’t matter if he stayed or went with us. I was getting my sister away from here and I meant it. He could get on board with me or leave the station, one. It was time for a new regime, one filled with hope and decent action plans. At least Reagan loved to follow me. That was something that worked in my favor.
Brantley carried Reagan over to her spot on the couch to let her rest as Samantha and I dispersed, leaving our dad to his own thoughts. I took the bags with the maps out onto the balcony and hid them in a secret compartment I had created by loosening a few bricks from the wall of the building and chiseling away the concrete behind them, replacing the bricks to make it look like nothing had been done to them. No one knew about it, not that I knew of, so they would be safe from sabotage. That is, until I needed them tomorrow morning. I checked to make sure that the sliding glass door was shut before going to bed. Tomorrow was a new day and I needed my mind sharp. I fell asleep just as gunfire and music rang off in the distance for another night.
Chapter 13
I woke up the next morning feeling slightly ashamed at how we acted last night. Samantha and I had overreacted to the situation and ruined a great man worse than he already was. I should’ve taken my beating and went about my life without dwelling on it. He wouldn’t have been collapsing further within his mind.
The sun was peeking between the skyscrapers, gently warming me up on the cool balcony. I stretched for a few minutes before getting up to go retrieve the others. We were down to our last few meals so today would be a day to make a food run. We needed a plan of attack and to decide where to go. Our radius would need to be widened to find a good source to last us until we could decide where to move to. I could use my maps to help pick a place to hit today.
I walked over to the hiding place in the wall, pulled the brick loose, and retrieved my maps from their temporary home. This was going to be difficult to handle. Having to face my father after yesterday… I wasn’t sure how I’d handle it. He would be hard to face, especially if he acted the same as last night.
The sliding of the balcony door welcomed me into the dimly lit hotel room. The others, save for my dad, were sitting around eating the last of the supplies. I shook my head at their stupidity. For all we knew it would be days before we were able to eat again. Whatever pushed them to eat everything now, I had to stop it. But where was my dad in all this? Why wasn’t he stopping this?
I walked up to Reagan and Brantley where they sat on the couch. I snatched up the packs of crackers and candy lying on the coffee table. “Hey! What are you doing?!” Reagan yelled as she followed me into the kitchen where Samantha had her own pile of goodies in front of her on the table. I snatched those up as well. “Why are you taking our food? Are you going to be a little bitch like your dad? Mad with power?” she continued as she grabbed my arm to stop me.
“Let me go! Are you insane? Have none of you stopped to think how long it might be before your next meal?” I asked her, jerking my arm away and throwing the food into the cabinets. “You can’t sit here and eat it all. Now, where is my dad? We need to make a food run.”
She rolled her eyes, but took a seat at the table quietly. Brantley joined us, apparently reluctant to deal with this. “Your father has locked himself in the bedroom,” he said, soft as a whisper. He seemed melancholy and reflective, deep within his own thoughts. Sammy mirrored his emotions, her eyes welling up a bit.
“How long has he been in there?”
“Not sure. Just about all morning, I suppose. He was in there when I got up.”
I shrugged my shoulders with a shake of my head. It was hard to believe that a man like him had just given up so easily. A man that used to take on the world when things were normal should be accustomed to surviving in this one, and taking everything that comes with it in stride. “Let’s get to business then. Samantha, you can sit in on this meeting. You’ll have to learn someday,” I said, folding my hands on top of the table.
She smiled and sat up straighter. You could tell she was proud to finally be included in the adult business. “What are we discussing? You know, besides the fact that you’re just as big a buzz kill as your dad,” Reagan jeered. She was going to be difficult today. Again.
“We need to go on a food run. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to gather a good stock,” I replied as I ignored her attempt at an insult. “Even if we just get enough to last a week, that’s more than we have.” From the waistband of my jeans, I withdrew the maps to set upon the table. “I have a clear idea of where we need to go, but this is no longer just one person’s decision with or without the approval of the others. We will decide together and vote on harder decisions.” I unfolded a map of the streets of New York. Pointing to a spot on the map fifteen blocks from here, I continued on. “We haven’t touched this area yet. It is occupied mostly by housing and small stores. There might be a small supply to hold us over.”
“No way! Last time we went out we almost died. And who is going to watch your sister this time? Your dad isn’t in his right mind,” Brantley stated the obvious.
“You’re not staying with her. Dad will be fine for a few hours with her,” I replied as I turned to my sister. “You’ll be safe as long as you lock the door.” She nodded before getting up and flopping down on the couch beside her dolls. She seemed more than content to stay here.
“Let’s go then,” Reagan urged as she got up and headed for the door. Brantley begrudgingly followed her and I brought up the rear. I was ready to get the day over with. We didn’t need to take all day knowing we had to come back to decide where to go from here.
The ride was the same as when we went on our parts hunt the other day. We were quiet in the truck, watching the buildings pass us by. All was silent and still outside. For once the birds roosted high up on the window ledges, soaking up the sunlight. They were enjoying the last little bit of warmth before fall set in and stole the warm temperatures. A hint of a smile tugged at my lips as I stretched out my hand into the sunlight and twisted it several ways. It was soothing to feel something that wasn’t ruined by pain and suffering.
Buried within my own thoughts, I failed to realize that we had pulled up to our destination. A hand from behind gently shook my shoulders to bring me forth to reality. I turned to the back seat where Reagan, worry streaking her face, sat and waited for me to wake up. I nodded to reassure her that I was fine before turning back around to open my door.
I couldn’t see any zombies walking through the buildings in front of us. It was making me nervous deep down that this mission might end up like that last one the three of us went on, but I wasn’t going to let the doubt drag me down. I needed a clear head to lead these two to victory, and the sweet treats that waited for us here. My mouth watered at the thought of tasting some cakes or canned fruit. Truth be told, I would settle for anything other than the normal crackers and chips that we’ve been eating for years. Anything with a little extra flavor and nutrients would make my belly happy beyond all reasoning.
Leaving the truck running again, we formed a v-pattern at its grill. We cautiously moved forward, scanning the windows and alleys for anything out of the ordinary. I could only hope that they had stayed away to catch that car. It was wishful thinking, but soothing all the same. We could live easier as long as they stayed away from us. The worry would disappear from our hearts and souls if only it would happen.
But we weren’t lucky enough to see that come about. I was almost certain that we would see our graves before we saw a day where worry and fear didn’t drive us to do as we do. For now, we needed to get this food back to the hotel. That was all that I would allow to drive my thoughts and steady my knives as we worked together to secure the area.
We moved from one building to the next, checking for the undead or anyone else that mi
ght fight us. Each building was the same as the last. There wasn’t any movement to be found, no sense of normalcy in this world. The only thing that welcomed us was the silence of the empty corners and hallways.
Cabinets upon cabinets were raided for decent food that would last us as long as possible. Spaghetti sauce, canned tomatoes, canned fruit, canned vegetables, and spaghetti noodles were among our favorite things to find. One place even had a full box of brownies that hadn’t been opened before. When we got that home, we would fight over who would get the extra brownie. I looked forward to tasting the sweet, smooth, delicious chocolate taste in my mouth. I knew that Samantha would also love to get her hands on it.
I could see Reagan eyeing the box sitting at the top of my bag that I had slung across my shoulder. I had to watch her. She would steal it and keep it all to herself if I gave her the opportunity. I believe it was time to prove to her that I was in charge of food distribution. “Reagan, I just wanted to let you know that no one gets these brownies unless I say so. I’ll kill you if you try to steal one,” I told her, keeping my voice to a whisper as we continued to check the rooms in the building we were currently in.
“Fine,” she replied as she kept her attention on the task at hand. I knew that it wouldn’t be so easy once we got back. She was too into the moment to worry about arguing this issue here. I had to keep my eyes peeled and stay on my toes with her, though. She could be feigning it.
Brantley threw his finger up to his lips and stopped, holding his other arm out to signal us to do the same. We froze, paralyzed with the thought that we might not be alone like we had thought. We listened, striving to catch the sound that Brantley had heard over our talking.
Seconds ticked away to minutes as we tried to stand absolutely still in the silence. I forced my breathing to become shallow to aid me in that moment. I needed to hear what he had heard. I wanted to hear it and that made the situation worse. I started to hear things that weren’t really there; a mechanism that the brain often used when you wanted to hear something. It drove out the quiet, monotonous tone of pure silence. But it made things harder for me to know what was real and what wasn’t.
Reagan and I looked to him, checking to see if he still heard the noise or not. His eyes were closed in concentration and his hand still stayed at his lips. His brow wrinkled with frustration, giving him the appearance of being many years older. It sent a chill down my spine and struck fear into my heart as I watched him. He never acted this way unless it was something serious.
My gaze moved to Reagan to see that she was standing in perfect unison with Brantley. Her expression matched his to the tee. That really wasn’t good! She must hear something that I couldn’t pick up. That perturbed me even more. I looked around frantically; looking for any sign of movement that would indicate what they were hearing wasn’t a foe lurking in the darkness. I found nothing. I had to break the silence.
“What is it?” I whispered, grabbing hold of Brantley’s hand to grab his attention. His eyes opened wide to reveal his shock. I had never touched him like that before, only when I had saved his life. I was just as shocked as he was by my actions, mostly because I was relying on him for something that I couldn’t do myself.
“Shhh. I think I hear something behind us,” he replied as he put his finger to my lips. My eyes widened at the tingle his contact had given me, but I knew better than to look too much into it. He was only trying to keep me quiet in the presence of danger. No sense in going overboard from a man touching me.
A clang sounded behind me in the direction that we had originally been heading. A jolt of electricity flew through my veins as the realization set in that they weren’t just hearing things. I turned on my heels as I brought the cold steel of my blade up to my shoulders, parallel with the doorway. I tiptoed to the doorway and peered around the corner as I tried to find the source of the clanging. Silence spanned the width of a few minutes before the sounds reemerged.
In a split second, out of the darkness came a low growling that seemed to breech the deepest recesses of my mind. I could feel it in my soul; a rumbling that would make the strongest man wet himself. Danger was close, so close… Before I could throw up a signal to the others, I was ambushed by a severely decomposed corpse from the depths of the darkness. I threw my hands up, the knife entering the thing’s shoulder. My hands squished within the puss-filled muscles of the creature as I struggled to grasp a firm hold and obtain leverage. Despite my efforts, I was shoved backward.
Claws dug into my arms and spit rained upon my face as the thing hissed and spluttered at me. Its frustration was clear to me in the folds of its forehead, or what was left of it. Its face was gruesome in all departments: the lips were torn and cracked, the eyes were missing their eyelids, pieces of flesh were gone all the way to the skull, and its hair was patchy. This one was by far the scariest undead corpse I had seen yet. I found it far scarier than anything that the producers could have ever put in a movie. I fought to keep control of my bladder in the face of this evil.
My group jumped to my rescue in the blink of an eye. They flung back the zombie, causing the thing to scratch me down my arms. Gritting my teeth, I wasted no time in reacting. I shoved forward, striking the corpse in the forehead with my blade and ending its tirade forever. I stood there over the thing as I gasped for air. My lungs felt tight and constricted. I couldn’t gain control of myself. It had been too close of a call. I had never been that proximate to dying before.
Hands found their way to my shoulders in the dim light of the window. Fingers caressed the seams of my shirt as whispers filled my ears. “Are you all right? You need to sit down?” Reagan asked, barely audible over my own breathing.
“Yeah, you can sit down if you need to. That was too close for comfort,” Brantley added. Their faces matched one another. Worry drove their eyebrows inward and creased their foreheads. The corners of their mouths turned down in a frown that I found sweet in a weird sense. My heart warmed up slightly at the thought that these two might actually care about me after all this time.
“No, I’m fine. Let’s keep pushing through,” I replied. Shaking off their touch, I walked forward back through the doorway to the next room. I was certain that there wouldn’t be another zombie in there. Had there been one, I wouldn’t be alive. They would’ve attacked me as one and I would’ve gone down instead of being pushed back into the other room where help awaited.
The higher up in the buildings we went, the more supplies we found. We were able to gather three large satchels of food and even found some batteries for the flashlights that we carried with us at all times. It wasn’t the expensive name brand kind of battery, but it would last us a little while until we could find a store that carried a better selection. God knows we needed every bit of light we could get the next few days.
With our bags full and our hearts content, we left the area and entered the safety of the pickup once more. I couldn’t be happy, though, sitting on that leather seat looking out at the buildings once more. Something deep inside seemed to be depressed. I had the worst feeling that something bad was going to happen soon and that it didn’t matter about the food we had just risked our lives to retrieve. Only time would tell if those feelings would become reality or if they were just something that I needed to ignore for my own sake. I just couldn’t help but feel that my dad’s actions would be the downfall for us all. We could die tomorrow and something inside of me knew that there was some truth to my beliefs.
The entire ride back to the hotel was the same as the way to our food run destination. The silence created a thick, suffocating atmosphere that threatened to strangle the three of us if it wasn’t abated soon. I wasn’t sure what to say or how to act. All I could do was keep my hands folded in my lap and hope someone would say something.
I kept going back to Brantley touching my lips. I replayed it over and over in my head, trying to determine what it meant. It felt like there was something more to it than just a way to keep me quiet. He seemed to have felt
it, too. I had no idea what to do with it, though. Should I ask him about it or leave it alone? Or maybe I should make an advance on him and see how he responded to it… I blushed a bit, the flow of blood tinting my cheeks ever so slightly. Why was I having this problem? This was the apocalypse. Why would someone’s actions even matter to me?! It shouldn’t and I need to let it go before it got too deep in my mind and I couldn’t get rid of it. I looked up to the heavens and prayed that God would soon start to make my life a little bit easier to deal with, taking away all the distractions and evil so I could reconnect with Him and his teachings. Eventually I hoped to return my dad’s faith to him and see him return to the man he once was.
I glanced over to the driver’s seat where Brantley sat, steering us back home. This man was closer in age to my father than he was to me, but he had youthfulness in his eyes and tenderness in his hands. Could I be with a man like him, even if it was only for a few moments? I doubted it. It was all just a whimsy that was harder to shake in these trying times than was necessary.
It was difficult to bring myself to exit the vehicle once we reached home. I couldn’t stand the fact that I had to continuously return to this damned place every time I got a brief break from it. I wondered if my dad was still being an ass or if he’d come back to the reality that life wasn’t always perfect. I wouldn’t know until I walked inside. Beside, I needed to take my sister some real food so she could put some meat on those bones of hers.
I stood in front of the truck as the engine spluttered to a halt and sent its last dying breath out in the form of a white smoke plume. Brantley and Reagan joined my side with all the bags in their hands. In my distraction, I had completely forgotten to grab my bag from the bed. At least I had these guys looking out for me. Thinking about it made me wonder how I could have become so dependent upon these two more than my family.