The two of us kissed for some time as his face began to blur. He had golden blond hair and he was tall and muscular similar to Ben. If it weren’t for his emerald green eyes, I wouldn’t have known the difference. The only thought in my mind was how much I wanted Ben and Brian was the next best thing. I giggled as I tore off his tuxedo jacket. I lost my balance and toppled over on the bed. I laughed as I hit the plush mattress.
As the world continued to blur, I forgot who I was in bed with. Everything was so fuzzy; I could only see a large shadow of flesh with golden hair. As I lay on the mattress, the creature began to cover me up and was about to climb out of bed, but I pulled him on top of me.
“Ben, I want you!” I cried.
“I’m not Ben,” he said, “Why don’t you rest. You have had a lot to drink.”
“You are too Ben. Drink my blood. I love you. I love you!” I giggled.
I brushed my fingers through his hair and pulled his face towards mine for another kiss. The figure obliged, and we kissed once more. Suddenly the door flew open.
Another giant figure stood in the doorway, identical to the one in bed. I stooped kissing the man in bed and looked between the two figures, unable to notice any difference.
“Ben!” I giggled as I looked towards the doorway. Then I looked back to the figure in bed, “Ben!” I laughed again. Somehow there were two Ben’s. I was quite confused, but laughed hysterically.
As I laughed, the Ben next to me quickly jumped from the bed. I could hear the howling laugher coming from the Ben standing in the doorway.
His laughter made me laugh harder and I said, “Ben come join us.”
Ben was howling in the doorway as he threw off his clothing. I could faintly see he was standing completely naked. The other Ben began to back away and said, “Have a good night Miranda.”
“Ben! Don’t leave!” I screamed.
“That isn’t Ben!” the naked Ben yelled.
“It is too! You are both Ben. I want you both!” I screamed as I tore off my bra and threw it at the Ben walking away.
Ben ignored me and continued to walk away. I was agitated by his rejection, so I jumped out of bed and jumped into his arms. He crashed into the wall as I wrapped my legs around him.
“Miranda, Ben is here now.” The clothed Ben said, “The two of you can do whatever you want. I won’t tell the Queen anything.”
Suddenly, I felt someone tear me off the clothed Ben; it was the naked Ben. I laughed in excitement and began to kiss him as we collapsed to the ground. There was a loud crash as our flesh slammed into the carpet. Both of us found it funny and began howling.
As we laughed, my vision grew worse and everything appeared gray. I leaned into kiss Ben, but I smacked into the ground instead. As I hit the ground, my stomach began to feel violently sick, and I had no time to prepare as vomit began to spew from my mouth. I continued to laugh as I collapsed in a pile of my vomit and I heard someone laughing nearby. I began to cough and choke as I continued to throw up.
As I continued to get sick, I felt someone pick me up and carry me to the bathroom. I giggled softly, but began to throw up all over them. Finally they sat me down on something very cold and hard. My vision was completely gray, and my mind was very fuzzy. As my brain started to spin, I threw up again. Suddenly I felt a single smack to my head and everything went black.
Chapter 14
When I came back to consciousness, I realized I was lying on something very plush, but I felt sticky and disgusting. My head was throbbing and my stomach felt sick. I slowly opened my eyes. My vision was still blurred and the ceiling above was spinning. I looked around to see that I was in Ben’s bed, completely alone. I tilted my head to the right to check my surroundings. My head started pounding the moment I moved, and I could feel a pulsating sensation in my face. I felt awful. I shut my eyes, and moments later I was asleep once more.
When I opened my eyes again, I was still lying in bed alone. My head was feeling a bit better, but I was still quite dizzy. I lay in bed for a few moments, wondering where Ben was, when suddenly my stomach went sour. I jumped out of bed, and my head began to throb. I held my head to try and lesson the pain, but the moment my feet hit the ground, I realized I was stepping on a body. I tried to step over the body, but it was too late and I collapsed on the floor face first.
As I hit the ground, the pain in my head grew unbearable, and I was overwhelmed with sickness. I quickly got to all fours to stand up, but sickness began to pour from my mouth. I coughed and gagged as I continued to vomit directly on the floor.
The commotion woke Ben, and he rolled over and began to groan. As soon as he saw I was sick, he was quickly by my side. As Ben put his arms around me to help me up, I realized he was completely naked. He pulled me off the ground and began to walk me to the bathroom; I was sick once more along the way.
As soon as we reached the bathroom, he sat me down at the vanity, and I placed my head between my legs. Ben turned on the shower and came back to undress me. Ben slowly peeled off my vomit-covered tee shirt and burgundy underwear. I had no recollection of dressing myself in the tee shirt.
As soon as I was undressed, Ben walked me to the shower and helped me inside. The moment the hot water hit my aching body, I felt a instant sense of relief. Ben stepped inside the shower, and I instantly pressed my head against his chest, collapsing against his warm naked body.
Ben began softly lathering soap into my body and hair, washing me clean. Only seconds after I was clean, I became sick once more, and Ben held me as I threw up into the drain. Each time I was sick, I grew weak and even dizzier. Ben gave me one last rinse and carried me back to bed.
As soon as he laid me down, he said, “I’m going to call for food.”
“No Ben. I’m not hungry,” I whispered. The room began to blur, and seconds later I passed out again.
When I awoke once more, I could smell the strong scent of fried food. I looked around and saw a platter of food sitting on my nightstand. Ben was sitting on the bed next to me reading a book.
As soon as he saw I was awake, he said, “Are you feeling better?”
I realized my headache was dull and my stomach was only a bit sour. The room was skinny quite a bit less, so I nodded my head.
“You need to eat,” Ben said. He pointed to the platter of food. “I ordered you chicken strips, fries, crackers, biscuits and fruit. Try a few things and see what you can handle.”
I looked at the food and felt a bit sick, but I was starving. I quietly ate a few bites of crackers as I tried to recollect the evening before. I took a sip of water and said, “Ben I don’t know what happened last night.”
“Do you remember anything?” he asked with a concerned look on his face.
I was quiet for a moment as I tried to think back on the events. “I had dinner with Brian…he was actually decent. The Queen came in and threw magic dust…just on me.” I paused, as that was when the night started to blur. I continued, “After the Queen threw dust over me, I began to drink a lot of wine. I think I started acting a bit crazy. I remember drinking blood and…I kissed Brian.”
Ben threw his palm against his forehead, but he seemed more agitated then angry.
“I’m so sorry Ben,” I cried. “I don’t know why I acted like that. It was the Queen’s magic.”
“I know Miranda…I know.” He said.
I continued, “He carried me back to the room and…” I had to think about what happened next. “Right after we came back to the room, I got in bed with you…or him. I don’t know. I took my clothes off…and there were two of you.” I was so confused.
“I remember coming back to the room,” Ben said. You were in bed with Brian. I remember he was fully dressed, but you were taking off your clothes. You kept calling him Ben. You wanted both of us…and I wanted you. At the time…I didn’t care you were in bed with Brian. I was under the same magic Miranda.”
“What happened next?” I asked as I could hardly remember.
“You jumped on
Brian and everything got really fuzzy at that point. I tried to pull you off of him…but I blacked out. I don’t know what happened.”
My stomach dropped. Only blurbs of what Ben said were left in my memory. I couldn’t remember putting a shirt on or putting myself to bed. Ben couldn’t remember either. Then I began to think about Ben. Where was he when we arrived at the room and why was under the same magic. So I asked.
“Not long after you left, Emerlee came to my room. At first I thought the Queen was trying to pair me off with Emerlee, but she just was just here to escort me to the Queen’s suite.” My heart raced as Ben told his story. “Emerlee walked me into the sitting room. The Queen was completely alone and completely naked. Emerelee quickly left the room and it was just me and the Queen.”
“Oh, no,” I gasped.
“At first she just talked to me...asking me questions about my life and what I like to do for fun. Miranda, it was so weird. I could hardly look at her.” Ben paused and began to turn pink, “After talking for a bit, she asked me to take off my clothes. She wanted to see what was underneath. I refused, so she blew dust in my face. Suddenly everything felt like the first night we arrived at the dinner party. I wanted to kiss her and take off my clothes, but I couldn’t get you out of my mind. Her magic didn’t work the way she wanted it too…all I could think about was getting back to you.”
I nodded my head. His face turned red and he looked ashamed, “I tried to play along. I kissed her, which made her happy. Then I acted like I was getting tired and dizzy…and I really was…but I really just wanted you. Finally, after I stumbled around for some time, she told me I was useless and sent me back to my room. I’m not sure how I made it back. The magic was really starting to kick in and everything was starting to blur. That’s when I opened the door and saw you with Brian. Everything got so blurry at that point.”
I nodded my head, but felt sick inside. The Queen sent me Brian so she could have Ben. The Queen wanted Ben for herself. I didn’t know what to do.
I told Ben what Brian had told me about the Queen and mates on Sidhe. Ben looked just as sick as I but said, “We can keep our relationship secret. The Queen never comes to the guest areas. If the Queen calls me to her room again, I will do everything I can to avoid intimacy with her. She will eventually grow bored with me and find a new mate.” I nodded my head. He continued, “You said Brian seemed decent. Just spend some time with him, make the Queen think the two of you are a thing.”
Ben looked disappointed, but tried to assure me everything would be okay. I could only hope he was right. As far as Ben and I could remember, Brian had not taken advantage of me when I was under the Queen’s magic. Brian had to be the one who had dressed me and put me to bed, because Ben had been passed out. There was so much standing in the way of my relationship with Ben, and I had to stay on the Queen’s good side—at least until she brought back my mother.
The next several weeks, I spent ample amount of time with Sadie, trying to use magic as a distraction from the Queen’s motives. Sadie taught me to use potions and dust to extend my powers beyond my dominant ones. My Aunt and Roger were becoming quite skilled as well. The three of us enjoyed practicing our magic. With Sadie’s help, I was able to learn to control my powerful fire, even when my emotion was intense. Ben and I were able to have powerful intimacy once more without fire exploding from my fingers.
As the weeks turned to months, I grew even more in love with Ben and the two of us grew closer together. In public we acted only as acquaintances, but in the privacy of our rooms, our love grew deep. Brian turned out to be decent and agreed to occasional dinners to fool the Queen we were mating. On occasion, I even slept on Brian’s sofa. It made Ben uneasy, but it kept the Queen from using her magic on me again. The Queen surprisingly kept away from Ben after their first meeting in her suite.
As the months continued on, I realized there was chance our group would be stuck here forever, and I began to wonder what my future here with Ben would be like. The two of us had been together several months in secret, and there were questions I needed to ask him.
One morning after Breakfast, the two of us were alone in his room. I felt that it was time to bring up a few thoughts I had been holding in. So I asked, “Ben, where do we go from here?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what happens to the two of us? Where does our relationship go?”
“Well I love you and we’re together...I guess,” he seemed very confused.
I didn’t hold back as so many questions poured from my mind. “Ben, what if we are here forever. Do we marry? And children? Can you even have children? And what about forever? My forever is different than yours. I’m going to keep aging and you’re going to be young forever. I don’t even know if I want to be turned, but then what? Will I become a tribrid…vampire, fairy and Superhuman?”
Ben laughed, “Miranda…slow down. I will marry you whenever you want. I’ll marry you here. We can have a secret ceremony with your aunt—”
“No, I don’t want to marry now,” I said. “It was just on my mind.”
“As far as children,” his face turned solemn, “I don’t want them.”
My heart seems to stop beating for a moment and my grin turned to a frown. “Why?” I asked.
Ben didn’t speak. I could hear him breathing deeply then he said, “I knew this would come up one day, but I hoped...maybe it would be awhile.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to tell you something.”
“You can tell me anything.”
Ben paused once more and took a few deep breaths; I could see he was trying not to cry. “You already know I was married, many years ago, but what I have never told anyone, is I had two children.” He paused, “I had two little girls, one born in 1928 and one born in 1931. Margaret was the youngest and Elizabeth the oldest. To this day, I can remember the day they were born. Shortly after their birth, I was diagnosed with a terminal disease of the liver. Back in the thirties, the medicine wasn’t like it is today. At the time, Loxes was a good friend of mine, but I didn’t know he was a vampire. I was only thirty years old at the time and was dying.”
Ben paused for a moment. I could see that his memories upset him, but he continued, “On my deathbed, Loxes told me he could cure me, but it was unconventional. When he opened up about being a vampire, I thought he was crazy, but I only had maybe hours to live. My wife was crying and begged me to be cured. I feared for my wife and daughter. If I left them, I wasn’t sure how they could get by. Things were different for women back in those days, and my wife had never worked a day in her life. Moments before I took my last breath, I gave in and allowed Loxes to turn me.”
I reached my hand out to Ben as his began to softly cry. He took a deep breath, “What I didn’t realize, was that the cure was a curse. Once I was turned, I had to live off in the woods for several years while I learned to control myself. I missed out on my children’s life. Once I learned control...for many years it was wonderful, never getting sick or growing old. But eventually my daughters grew older than I was, and my wife became elderly and sick. I watched my wife die a brutal death in her seventies after battling cancer.” Ben sighed, “I still had my daughters and my daughters had their children.
“My oldest daughter died of the same cancer as her mother when she was sixty-five years old. When my Margaret died, I fell apart. I was living in a thirty year old man’s body, watching my children age and die. I clung to my youngest daughter, who lived to be ninety-three. She died not too long ago. My daughters and grandchildren knew my secret, but I feared what would happen if I continued spreading my secret to each generation.
“Once I lost my youngest daughter, I connected once more with Loxes. I decided to live in the woods with him and disconnect from humans for good. I said goodbye to my grandchildren and moved to the forest with Loxes. I only moved to Pine Lake, because Loxes fell in love with Jewl, and I felt guilt for your mother’s death. I felt that helping protect P
ine Lake was the only way to make up for turning your mother.
“I never expected to fall in love with you. You are the first woman I have loved since my wife...only the second woman I have ever been with. I tried to resist my feelings and only be your friend, but when I drank your blood, I knew I couldn’t change the way I felt.” He sighed again, “Now we’re here with all odds against us. I want to marry you, but I can’t outlive any more children.” He paused again for a moment and said, “Even if I wanted children…do you think it would be wise to raise them here…with the Queen.”
I looked down. I knew he was right, but I felt melancholy. I had always wanted children—at least one. After a moment of silence, he smiled quickly and changed the subject, “To answer your other question, Vampires can make babies, but they cannot carry them.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a bit strange. Vampires can make babies…the same way humans or the superhumans’ can. The difference is, vampire women cannot carry the children.”
“So—”
“Only a male vampire can procreate with a non-vampire female.”
“That is strange.”
“It is strange, but it’s a bit of a loophole. Not everything you see in the movies is true,” he laughed.
I knew he was trying to avoid discussing children, but I went back to the conversation from before, “Ben, I want children, and the thought of never having children...it’s upsetting. At the same time, I understand your situation. I can’t imagine my life without you.” I paused and felt very confused about my feelings. “I don’t know what to do. Not to mention, I can’t imagine growing old and dying while you remain young. I never thought of these things, I just fell in love with you.”
Ben looked down; I could see he was apprehensive. Neither of us knew what to do. I smiled and tried to be positive. I knew my questions had upset him, “Let’s just forget this and go back to being in love. We are trapped in this place, there is nothing we can do anyway.”
The Portal to Sidhe: Book 1 Page 16